Thank you all so much for your thoughtful reviews! I treasure them! To TrueBlueJP90: Will the new hideout only be a training place for Luke and Leia or others as well? I guess you'll have to keep readingto find out:-) To Lincoln Six Echo: I actually do like Ewan in a beard. It's grown on me (pardon the pun) over time. But I do still prefer him clean-shaven, as it's criminal to cover such a beautiful face!
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Obi-Wan entered the room that would eventually hold the meditation garden. Yoda was planting seeds in the ready soil. Obi-Wan stopped and allowed a nostalgic smile. Many a time he had found Yoda in the meditation gardens or in the Room of a Thousand Fountains at the Jedi Temple taking care of the various flora.
"Something on your mind, young one?"
"Not really, Master. I just wanted to see how you were doing." Obi-Wan seated himself next to the smaller Jedi and began to help him dig the holes for the seeds.
"Fine, I am." Yoda eyed Obi-Wan speculatively. "And you?"
"I'm…better. Having Padme and the babies around is a comfort." Obi-Wan's mind flashed back to the Temple – to the babies in the nursery and the little toddlers who had been so full of life. His stomach twisted at the memory.
"Let go, you must, Obi-Wan." Yoda turned to him. "Easy, it is not, even for a Master of my experience. This heavy a loss, I have not experienced in almost 900 years of life. But let it go, we must – even a grief as large as this."
"I know, Master. It's just that putting it into practice is proving difficult."
Yoda placed seeds into one of the holes Obi-Wan had made. "Staying with Padme and the younglings, are you?"
Obi-Wan hesitated. "Yes, Master." He couldn't help but wonder if Yoda disapproved.
"Mmm. Good, that is."
Obi-Wan's head popped up in surprise. "Good?"
"Help you to let go, they can."
Obi-Wan continued to dig holes in thoughtful silence. He wasn't the only one who needed comfort. Padme had suffered great loss, as well. She had lost her husband – even though the marriage wasn't really happy. She had lost her career, everything she had ever worked for, and had even lost contact with her beloved family. On top of that, she would probably never be able to go back to her cherished homeworld of Naboo. Obi-Wan wanted to be every bit as much comfort to Padme as she had been and would continue to be for him.
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A series of beeps and toots stopped Obi-Wan in his tracks as he passed by the kitchen. "Hi, R2, 3PO."
"Master Kenobi, R2 wants to know if you would like something to eat."
"Thanks, R2, but not right now."
C3PO looked down as R2D2 beeped some more. "Would you like some tea?"
Obi-Wan gave the smaller droid an amused smile. "Maybe later, R2. I'd like to go check on Padme and the babies." He patted the domed top and turned to go.
Obi-Wan shook his head as he heard a twitter that sounded like resignation. R2D2 had become extremely attentive to him since the incidents on Mustafar. The droid almost seemed to be trying to make amends for his former master's behavior. After all, R2 had witnessed everything that happened there. The response of the droid seemed eerily human.
Sensing that Leia was distressed, Obi-Wan picked up his pace. He walked into their room to find Padme nursing Luke in one of the rocking chairs. Leia was in the crib squalling. Padme's relief was evident as he went over to the crib and scooped the infant into his arms.
Padme was amazed at how quickly a baby could stop crying. Leia was gazing up at Obi-Wan with her big, brown eyes, hiccupping every now and again. He was speaking to her in soothing tones. "You have impeccable timing, as usual, Obi-Wan. Leia seemed to think that Luke had nursed long enough and that it was her turn."
Obi-Wan gently wiped at Leia's still-damp face. "She just wanted some attention, too. Didn't you, Princess?"
Padme's brow lifted at that. "Princess?"
"And why not? Her mother WAS once a queen."
Padme snorted. "Leia is going to be SUCH a daddy's girl!" A blush crept up her face as she realized what she said. That was making a rather large assumption!
Obi-Wan just smiled as he brought Leia over to her. He reflected on Padme's words as he put Luke over his shoulder to burp him. Helping to take care of Leia and Luke was acting like a balm on his wounded heart. Obi-Wan was finding that he felt at home in the role of father. Actually, it was really more of a reminder. He had felt completely at home in his fatherly and husbandly role while he and Padme took care of James, Devin and Kira.
Padme bit her lower lip nervously as she watched Obi-Wan. He appeared to be lost in thought. Was he put off by her words? Did he not want to be a father to her children? She wanted nothing more than to have again what she and Obi-Wan had shared at the Jedi Temple. No, that wasn't true. Padme wanted MORE – more completeness, more intimacy, more of Obi-Wan the man.
But would Obi-Wan want that after she had deceived him and hurt him so badly? He had said that he had forgiven her, but had he really, deep down? Would he be wary to give his heart completely to her? Padme tried to will herself to calm down. It was too soon to fret over what may or may not happen between her and Obi-Wan. She couldn't push him. He needed time to heal. They BOTH needed time to heal.
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Padme lay beside Obi-Wan in bed that night. She just couldn't stand it any longer! She had to know! Padme sat up, propping her weight on her elbow. "Obi-Wan?"
"Hmm?" Obi-Wan opened his eyes, coming out of his light meditation.
"Did I offend you by what I said earlier? I know it was presumptive of me to assume you would want to be a father to Luke and Leia. It's just…" Her words were halted when Obi-Wan placed his finger over her mouth.
"Why would you think I was offended?"
"You were just so quiet and…"
"I'm sorry, Padme. I never meant to give you that impression. I've just been trying to work things through in my head."
"I know." Padme sighed heavily. "You've been through so much."
Obi-Wan sat up in a smooth motion. "Padme, you haven't exactly been unaffected by everything that's happened, either!"
Padme sat up fully, as well. "Not like you. On top of everything else, you were lied to by the two people you trusted most." She looked away guiltily.
Obi-Wan took Padme's chin in his hand and gently made her face him. "When I told you that I had forgiven you, I meant it."
Tears started to slide down Padme's cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm so sorry for hurting you! I'm so sorry for everything that's happened!"
Obi-Wan pulled Padme into his arms and let her cry. He rubbed her back in soothing circles. "I understand why you felt you couldn't tell me about your marriage. I also understand how much it pained you to hide the truth from me." Obi-Wan ran his fingers through her long, silky hair. "As for everything else that has happened, you have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I owe YOU an apology."
Padme pulled back from Obi-Wan suddenly. "What?"
"If I had not failed in training Anakin, this wouldn't have happened. Anakin wouldn't have fallen." Obi-Wan looked down at his hands, not feeling able to look Padme in the eye anymore.
"Do you really think that this nightmare that has ensnared the galaxy is YOUR fault?" Padme was completely horrified that Obi-Wan could even think such a thing! "Anakin was an adult. He made his own choices. You did nothing but try to guide him on the path of Light."
"And I failed. It was my responsibility as his master to keep him on the right path, to instill an unwavering sense of duty, to help him work through his doubts and his problems."
"Obi-Wan, you taught him everything a Jedi should know. But more importantly, you led by example. You were the living, breathing, walking model of everything you taught him. Anakin's failure to live up to your teaching and your example was just that, HIS failure, not yours."
Padme felt that maybe, just maybe, her words were starting to sink in, and so continued. "Tell me something. Do you blame Master Yoda for Count Dooku's fall into darkness?"
"No, of course not!"
"Why?"
"Because Dooku was a Jedi Master in his own right. He was well aware of the consequences of the choices he made."
"Anakin was a full Knight. Are you saying he was completely unaware of the consequences of his choices? If he did not have a full grasp on knowing right from wrong, Light from Dark, why was he knighted?"
"It's not that he didn't know, he was just…"
Padme folded her arms over her chest. "Yes?"
Obi-Wan just shrugged his shoulders and looked away. He didn't really know what to think right now. Padme's words made sense, but guilt over Anakin's fall and Anakin's death were still gnawing at him. He was a Jedi Master! He should be able to let go of the guilt and the grief. Right now, however, he felt completely unequal to the task.
It hurt Padme to see Obi-Wan looking so lost, so vulnerable. But in a way, she also felt honored that he trusted her enough to allow her to see it – especially after she'd betrayed him…No! I have to let that go! Obi-Wan needed her and she was not going to wallow in the past!
Padme eyed Obi-Wan speculatively. "Take off your shirt."
Obi-Wan turned back to her in confusion. "What?"
"You heard me. Take off your shirt."
Obi-Wan shot her another questioning gaze before complying.
"Now lay down on your stomach."
Again, Obi-Wan complied.
Padme scooted over to him on her knees, settling right next to his torso. She immediately set to work massaging his shoulders. Obi-Wan's muscles were in hard knots of tension. Padme skillfully worked on each one until the muscles were loose and pliant underneath her hands. Then she switched to a more relaxing massage, working in a slow pattern up the entire length of his back, up his neck, and back down along his sides.
Obi-Wan sighed contentedly. He didn't realize how tightly wound up he was. When Padme first started the massage, it had been pretty painful. But it was a good pain. What she was doing now, though, felt marvelous! Padme was taking care of him and it felt really…nice. His eyes started to droop as she continued her now-gentle ministrations.
Padme smiled as she noticed that he was starting to fall asleep. Good. He needs it. She tried to ignore just how good the smooth skin of his back felt, the feel of the lean muscle along his shoulders and down his arms...Well, one thing hasn't changed. I'm still powerfully attracted to him.
Padme stopped her soothing movements when she realized Obi-Wan was sound asleep. She pulled the covers over him and tucked them around his frame. Then she carefully got in on her side, feeling a twinge of disappointment that she wouldn't be able to pillow her head on his chest. Padme looked over at Obi-Wan's sleeping, peaceful countenance and her heart swelled. How she loved this man! How she wished she could make that same peace follow him in waking. With that last thought, Padme closed her eyes and soon followed him into slumber.