Chapter Four: Trust

A/N: Okay so it has been a while since the last chapter was posted. This one has taken some time in writing due to the fact that I really wasn't sure whether to continue this story or not. I didn't receive many reviews and so couldn't decide if it was worth posting any more. But here's chapter four. The response I get from this will determine if I go on. If I do a chapter five it will be the reunion and Bella telling her story. Okay, on with the reading…

Of course I was happy to see them but the pain was still there from the fact that they had left me all those decades ago. And now things were so awkward. What do we say? Do we talk about the fact that the youngest son made me fall in love with him then proceeded to break my heart and leaving me a zombie? Things suddenly became so unclear. I had no idea what was going to happen from here. That was new. I always knew what to expect of my days. No longer. A change had come. A change had come and knocked me on my ass.

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BPOV

I snapped myself out of my thoughts of things to come and looked up into the mirror above the sink opposite me. Despite my previous internal struggle, I still appeared to be the epitome of calm. That's one impressive mask I've constructed over these 85 years, I reckon.

At a human pace I exited the restroom and slipped into the crowd of students heading to their 5th classes of the day. I knew Jasper and Emmett were going to be in Spanish with me now, and so I picked up their scents and followed them in the direction of the classroom.

I was one of the last to enter the room and so I was greeted with the stares of every student plus the teacher, who I gathered went by the name Senor Delaney.

I looked towards him for instruction on how he wished me to proceed. He remained silent, jaw hanging wide and openly ogling me. In front of his students. Sheesh, come on man, at least be discreet about it! I had my powers on stand by as normal but I did not have to be listening to the guys thoughts to know they were in no way appropriate. The menacing growl coming from Jasper, only heard by myself and Emmett, confirmed my conclusion. Even I could feel the lust and desire rolling off Delaney, and that was with my powers off!

I got bored of waiting for Mr Inappropriate to stop his inane fantasy and simply walked to the only empty seat available. Smack bang in between Jasper and Emmett. They were positioned on the back row, huddled in the left corner. It seemed odd how they were not sat next to each other but had left a gap. I figured they usually sat together but left that space for me. Sweet boys.

Once I reached my newly acquired seat, I sat down, placed my bag on the back of the seat, removed the necessary equipment and finally looked up to smile at the guys, Jasper first on my left and then Emmett on my right.

"What's 'appenin' fellas?" I joked with a big smirk on my face. It was odd, a few minutes ago I was all doom and gloom in the toilet and now I was grinning like an idiot. I blame the beautiful vampires on either side of me.

"Just enjoying watching Delaney over there look like a complete twat is all." Emmett responded with a shit eating smile and the twinkle of his eye which seemed to have returned, while Jasper just looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"Jasper?" No response, no blink of his eye, no disruption to his blank stare.

"Jasper man, Izzy is talking to you!" Emmett tried to help me divert Jasper's attention back to reality.

"Oi blondey!" I exclaimed a little louder than I meant to. The whole class, including Jasper, stopped what they were doing to turn and look at me.

The look on Jasper's face is priceless, like he has just awoken from the best dream ever and is confused as to why someone would be so cruel as to pull him back to Earth. Emmett cracks up laughing while I just offer a sheepish grin. Jasper looks at me and finally cracks a smile which gradually gets wider as he returns to reality.

"Er, sorry Isobel, don't know what happened there, guess I drifted off in to my thoughts." Jasper says, offering me an apologetic small smile.

"No worries Jasper, but don't call me Isobel, way too formal for friends."

"Friends?" He replies slowly, as if contemplating the meaning of the word.

"Yeah Jasper, she said friends. I believe the dictionary definition is something along the lines of 'a person whom one knows well and likes; supporter or ally'. Get it together dude, what's up with you all of a sudden?" Emmett offers his thoughts in a way only Emmett can. It makes me smile, familiarity and all that.

"Sorry, again. Blame Izzy here, her sudden arrival has thrown me off balance, what with her freaky unfeeling aura and all." Jasper responds with a low chuckle for Emmett and a smirk/wink for me.

"Hey now, don't start on me already. I think it's about time you two slackers cut the chit chat and get your Spanish groove on." I say in the most serious voice I could muster.

The guys look at me, then each other, then back to me. I think they are debating whether it's safe enough for them to break in to hysterics or if I'm actually serious and they should listen in to the lecture so I won't go crazy on their asses.

The panic and indecision of their expressions breaks my façade and I grin like a toddler, alerting Emmett and Jasper that I'm just playing around.

Senor Delaney has finally gathered himself and starts his extremely dull and easy lesson after wasting a good 20 minutes of class. I lean back in my chair, cross my legs and start quietly tapping a beat on the table that has been conducting itself in my head.

I start to feel a force attempting to break through my mind barrier and gain access to my emotions. Jasper. Bless his heart he is a very determined guy.

"Jasper, seriously, it aint gonna happen, just give it up already, I'll let you in when and only when you actually need to be aware of me emotions okay." I whisper in a voice only the two vampires next to me could possibly hear. My tone is calm, soothing and not angry, so to placate Jasper.

Jasper gives me a sheepish smile, shrugs his shoulder and mouths 'okay' while Emmett sniggers and mumbles something about 'karma'.

We three fall into a comfortable silence for the rest of class, each of us immersed in our own thoughts. I could tell both guys were itching to ask me questions and were storing them for later on when I visited their home, I was very thankful that they were able to hold in their queries.

I myself was contemplating just how much information about my life over the past 85 years and who I have become I was prepared to share with the Cullens.

Of course, they would want to know it all, but did they deserve to know it? Should I put myself through the pain of reliving those memories just to fulfil their curiosity? They had left me after all, it may have been Edward's decision but they all went along with it and followed like good little sheep. So, should I bare my soul to them? Share my secrets? Provide the answers?

The loud screeching of the school bell ripped me out of my thoughts and all around me students scrambled to their feet and fled the classroom to head to their final lesson of the day. I stood, grabbed my bag and made a decision on impulse.

"I'm gonna head to my apartment guys, I have some things to think over and school isn't going to help. So I think I'll see you in about two hours, at your house of course." I whispered to the two vampires as fast as was manageable and high tailed it off the school grounds on my motorbike and back to my apartment.

I don't know at what point I started to freak out but I did. The prospect of being in front of every member of the Cullen family and having question after question fired at me was not appealing in the slightest.

I began to wonder why I agreed to go speak to them in the first place, when they really hadn't done anything to warrant my forgiveness and understanding, yet they were acting as if we were long lost loved ones.

Then I remembered Alice and the pain I saw in her eyes that she so desperately tried to cover up. I had to help her. That aspect of Bella Swan was still with me, as much as I tried to kill her, some parts of her just wouldn't budge.

Alice was a close second for the title of Who-Can-Hurt-Bella-The-Most because her decision to leave killed me almost as much as Edward's. She never agreed with him when it came to my immortality or the choices he made, and yet she still left me. Alice was my best friend, she was going to be my sister eventually, she declared it so herself. Therefore her betrayal cut me deep, she didn't even say goodbye.

I don't care if Edward forbid her to see me or whatever excuse they plan to give me, because Alice has her own mind, a very intense mind at that, she could have easily found a way to say goodbye.

But still, after all that, I cannot walk away from her when she is hurting, that would just make me one hell of a hypocrite.

Also, Emmett. At first glance this morning he looked defeated and almost depressed. It was incredibly surprising when I compared him to the old Emmett. The cheeky grin with dimples that were constantly out in full force. The raucous laughter he continually forced upon your ears. The bone crunching, oxygen stealing bear hugs. All of things that made Emmett, Emmett looked like they hadn't been in use in decades, and that concerned me greatly.

What on earth had happened to this family when they left? What had caused them so much pain? Then to see that twinkle return to his eye… I can't explain how something that could seem so insignificant completely turned me on my axis. I felt hope. For him and for me. I could tell Emmett's state was taking a toll on Rosalie, as was Alice's on Edward. Which was surprising seeing as Alice's husband didn't seem to be the one she was leaning on.

No matter what they had done to me, I couldn't turn my back on them, unless of course this is all just some sick joke and they don't really want me around to help.

No, come on girl you know them better than that.

Do I? They knocked us on our ass before, why get involved when there is a chance they could do that again?

Doesn't matter, we're stronger now, that shit wouldn't faze the new us.

Trust. That was the issue now.

Could I trust the Cullen's with my story? With my secrets? With my soul? My heart?

I guess there's really only one way to find out. If you're brave enough that is…

Fuck that. Those perfect vamps don't hold a threat. We're made of stronger stuff now remember. We bounce back. It's what we do.

A/N: I really need to know what you are all thinking and feeling about this story, if it isn't loved enough I don't think I'll continue it. I do have a plan a some good plotlines that will through you for a loop but if people aren't interested then what's the point in posting? Okay so let me know by pressing that lil review button, yeah? : )