Everyone agreed: Pakkun was a real dog.

Shikamaru Nara didn't have a boss; no man owned Shikamaru Nara. As a Private Investigator he could pick and choose his clients as he wanted. The fact that Pakkun, head of Konohoa police, was his only client, so something like a boss, was neither here nor there.

Lee chattered madly on the way to the police station. He got even more excited when they got there: someone had sprayed something onto the side of the building in neon green paint that no one had bothered to clean up yet. COPPARZ GO HOME! 'How stupid!' Lee raged. 'The coppers are already home!'

Inside the building, Shikamaru was sent straight into Pakkun's office. This was worrying; normally his dogship liked to keep him waiting for at least fifteen minutes. Petty power games no doubt. All because Shikamaru had kicked him first time they had met, just to show him who was boss.

'Come in, come in,' said Pakkun, 'how ya doin' Shik?' A cigar was sticking out of the corner of his mouth, not yet lit. Shikamaru had never actually seen him with a lit one.

'I-' said Shikamaru.

'Well ain't that just such a shame? Take a seat, enough with the small talk.' Pakkun stared at him with his well-jowled face, all saggy and miserable. 'I have another job for you Shik.'

'I don't know Chief Pakkun,' said Shikamaru, 'I'm pretty busy at the moment.'

'You can knock off the attitude right now Shik, 'cause I can read you like a pack of cards that have been individually laid on the table face up. Ever tried that Shik? It's easy. Anybody with a basic comprehension of numbers and shapes can do it.'

Shikamaru had to give him that one.

'This one's a juicy one though,' Pakkun continued, 'a real scoop. A big boy.'

'You don't mean?' asked Shikamaru.

'A proper murder,' said Pakkun, 'never had one, have you Shik?'

'When you've lived fourteen years, on these mean streets, nothing surprises you anymore,' said Shikamaru. 'Anyway, I've investigated lots of murders before. Just ask Lee.' Why did he say that? Lee was a terrible liar, too damn moral. ''cause you sure as hell can't ask all those dead schmucks.'

'Shik,' said Pakkun, 'now I'm about to tell you something, so you listen good, not bad, you hear me?'

'Like I got ten outta ten in my listening classes Chief,' said Shikamaru although, in truth, he'd only gotten about four in his listening classes.

'The mayor is breathing down my neck on this one. Got my ass on the washing line. So if the dark clouds in the sky start to rain on my ass I'm using you as an umbrella. Got it?'

'Gotcha,' said Shikamaru, despite the fact he had no idea what Pakkun was talking about. Outside, through the window over Pakkun's shoulder, a pigeon was hopping around. It had distracted him.

'You've gotta be discreet Shik. If your mum asks you questions about this investigation, you deny everything. If she persists you make it clear she don't wanna be involved. I'm not saying get rid of your mother Shik, don't get me wrong, but don't rule it out neither. Gotit Shik? Just you and your idiot sidekick is to know about this.'

'Don't talk to my mother, gotcha,' said Shikamaru. Shouldn't be a problem, his mother was really annoying about his job, asking him when he'd get a "real one". Little did she know, this job was more real than she could handle.

A murder? And he wasn't allowed to talk to anyone – except Lee – about it? If he had been a lesser man than Shikamaru Nara, Private Investigator, he might have felt scared…

Next time on:

Shikamaru: P.I.

'What a mystery!' announced Shikamaru. 'Perhaps unsolvable unless you're Shikamaru Nara, Private Investigator!'

'But sensei,' said Lee, 'you are Shikamaru Nara, Private Investigator!'

'So I am Lee,' he said, 'so I am.'