So, my first finished story! I'm quite proud, are you? The song is called "When you Go" by Jonathan Coulton, as promised. I suggest you listen to the song enough that you get it (probably only once is necessarry) read the story, then listen and gloss ovet the story because the lyrics move much faster than the words do. I hope you like the end to No, a deathfic by me, RainsWings.

An Escape

*No*

Electricity wakes me and my boys, and light showers us soon after, bathing us in knowledge-bringing brightness. As I realize the foods not coming, I get quite worried. The last thing I want is for them to be vivisected, after all the work I've done to try to bring their spirits up. With a start I realize to save them I'm going to have to fight back. I planned my rebellion for a long time, but with these five, I have a reason. I have power.

Donatello tries to talk to me, trying to get me to explain what's wrong. Quickly I zone out to the lulling sound of his voice, daydreaming of the few days ago when I realized I was no longer alone.

Only a moment ago we had nothing but time

I could've sworn the days were longer. His talking to me, explaining his history, it seemed to make time stop.

Everything lasted forever and you were all mine

I guess I sorta had a crush on him from the start. But he's an anthropomorphic turtle, and I don't think crossing species is a good idea. Still, it was nice to listen, but now that I think he's in danger, along with his brothers that feel like brothers to me, I realize I should have spoken. Explained that I was vivisected so I would be afraid to speak about anything I had seen, on the threat I would be hurt again. I need to protect them, I need to help them leave this hell safely.

Only a dream I know, thinking you'd never go

I hear the whir of the door getting ready to unlock in the real world and drag myself back, signaling their silence and standing next to the door. When it opens I throw a punch at the man who brought them in in the first place. He grabs my fist before it hits him. He twists my arm painfully, but I don't mind. I'm going to beat him, and I'll do it to protect them. Even if it kills me.

Tearing off pieces of myself just for the time it buys me.

I punch at him with my free fist, getting him to capture it foolishly. I kick him hard in the stomach, and the unblocked hit sends him kneeling down. I kick him in the head and he's out, stone cold. A piece of me wants to say, "let's go", but the rest screams against speech, so I simply signal for them to follow me out. I think we're all surprised by the lack of audible alarms, but we shrug it off Donatello smiles at me kindly, thankfully, but it hurts to see. I can recognize almost instantly that it's the smile he'd give to a friend, not someone he'd like.

Fold my heart up small

Suddenly more scientists flood the room, but Donny, his brothers, and his father are quick to kick butt, but I can see the cuts and bruises that appear on them, and they hurt me too.

Or break it into pieces

Soon the hallway is cleared, and I'm running to the room where the man with the answers is, having been here for almost a year and knowing the place like the scars on my stomach. I know what I've got to do, and though I'm scared, I can't back out now.

Find somewhere and keep it there.

Slowly I take off my collar, the only thing that reminds me of my old life, and set it on the ground near a wall and in a conspicuous place, knowing the brothers and their father see my careful gestures. For a second I hold the dogtag, rubbing it between my fingers. I love this thing, it used to be my dog's, and when she dies and it killed me I inherited it. It's my only possession, and I love it.

Take it when you go.

I turn to the family, fear clear in my eyes but not clouding my thoughts. I point to the door I'm about to enter, and say the first words I have in over a year. "Keep it closed." This is all I can manage, and it hurts to speak from a lack of practice. I open the door slowly and slip in to the office of grays, terrified beyond thought. There's the button to blow this room and all of its secrets up. I just need to mush it and wait one minute exactly. Donatello's on my mind again, and I try to get him away. This act is too dark for you.

There in the frame of your face, in the cast of your eyes,

*Donatello*

As No slipped into the room we're all stunned beyond belief. She spoke. And yet, those words seemed to hold so much dread for her, I feared what might be inside. The look on her face, it was so full of terror, yet it seemed she knew what she was afraid of and held no fear of it at the same time. A voice in the back of my head spoke. You know exactly what's going to happen, and so does she.

I saw this coming but still I am caught by surprise

I try to quiet the voice with a soft shake of my head as my brothers and I make a body barricade for the door. All the voice does is get louder. You know exactly what's going to happen.

All of this time I knew

I don't want this to be true. It can't be true. Bad things don't happen to good people, right?

That I'd be losing you

I guess… sometimes… they do. But that doesn't mean, I mean… I don't want that girl to… The voice interrupts me again. She's going to die!

That doesn't mean that it's okay,

As the voice gets louder and louder, chanting that No's going to die, I realize how wrong that is to me.

That doesn't mean I'm ready.

I think… And I know it's wrong, but I think I had feelings for her. Sure, a human, but she seems so kind. She shouldn't die. I care about her too much, even if only as a sister.

Fold my heart up small

*No*

I only press the button after I find a working pen. The moment I push it, I'm scribbling more words onto those pieces of paper I gave the family. Thirty-three seconds left. The man with the answers is next to me, clearly terrified of death. As I'm dipping my hands into water from his sink, he tries the door to find it is held by his experiments. When he sees my wet hands, he says, "You know that won't save you."

Or break it into pieces

"I don't need it to." I answer triumphantly. I've beaten him now. "I'm saving others."

Find somewhere and keep it there

I look at the notes again. They're the only goodbye I have.

Take it when you go

"I could say more to them in the three words keep this closed than I could to you in three thousand." I pick up the notes, putting them in my hands so that they are cupped dry within my hands while the backs of my hands are dripping wet.

When you go

*Donatello*

There's a beeping noise out here, and as I look at the man who tried to exit, I realize the panic on his face and worry that she's set off a bomb. Something about her character tells me it's not out of the question.

When you go…

I don't want her to die. Please, ancestors, god, whatever's out there, don't let No die.

Some things you always remember,

*No*

Suddenly I'm in a flashback again. The way the family looked at me when they first saw me, that image is etched into my mind. The way Donatello smiled ever so faintly when he saw how shy I was.

Some things you forget.

Then I realize I never gave them my name. I want to write it hastily on one of the notes, but with a start I realize something: I've forgotten my old name. I've become No.

No way to make it up now,

I know there are other test subjects in this place, and I know they're going to die. I wish I could help them, give them a last request. But I can't.

No room for regret.

I wish I had spoken from the very beginning. I wish I had told Donatello exactly how I feel. I wish I hadn't been afraid and had rebelled earlier. Maybe they wouldn't have been captured then. But regrets wont help. Ten seconds left.

That's no good for anyone,

My eyes widen as I realize all the things I should've done, and I can feel the man with the answers laughing at me. We're both going to die, but who's ready for it?

And so I come undone.

Tears stream down my face, but I force myself to speak a little more. "That family will survive. That's because, at the very core of their being," I give a hoarse bark of a laugh. "They're better than you." Zero seconds.

Now I am less than what I was,

I don't feel like I'm dead, but my body's already beginning to char, so I guess I'm about to be. Glancing to my hands which hold my last messages, I'm glad to see they remain intact and unburned. I'm amazed that worked.

Whatever's left is yours now.

I hope they read these notes. They're all I am. Them and that dog tag.

So fold my heart up small

*Donatello*

The door explodes outwards, pushing us away and pushing the corpse of No through. I'm already beside her, a small piece of me wishing she was still alive, when my family is beside me. Master Splinter points out her hands, and it is with a heavy heart that I pry her dead hands from each other and reveal our notes, but altered. Master splinter picks up his and reads it aloud.

"When nothing is left, hope." His eyes are sad and he seems a little broken. "Such knowledge in such a young girl."

Leo picks his up next. "I am a confidant for you." He looks down a moment. "Even in death she listens to us."

Raph takes his turn after Leo. "I will always be a shoulder to cry on." He frowns, but it's not his normal angry scowl. "I ain't speakin' of that night, but alright."

Mikey takes his note from her next. "Living is a reason to smile." He gave a small smile. "I guess she's right, isn't she."

Or break it into pieces,

Mine was the only one left. Hesitantly I take it from her and read the slip aloud. "I love-" I stop and my voice cracks, but I force myself to try again. "I love you." My brothers and father look to me and I look away in sadness. Why? Why couldn't I have known sooner?

Find somewhere and keep it there,

I notice her collar is still there. The leather collar is burned, but as I look at the dog tag she loved so much that the writing was mostly worn off I notice that besides its hotness it's in perfect condition. I hold the collar a moment and bring it back to her body, wanting to give her back this last piece of herself.

Take it when you go.

Before I can let go of the worn leather collar, however, No's voice comes to me. Such a lovely voice, if not a little underused. How much she could have used it. Take my tag. Please take my dog tag. I want you to have a piece of me. My eyes widen a little, but, obeying No's voice, I touch the tag. No longer is it molten hot as I would expect it to be, but it's now only warm to the touch, like a living body would be. I take it off the collar slowly and hold it in the palm of my hand, cupping it and protecting it from the world with my fingers. The image of her fighting comes to mind and I realize she didn't need to be protected, she wanted to protect. I unclasp the dog tag and, upon seeing master splinter walk from somewhere with our weapons, take my bo staff. Unwrapping the purple band, I put the tag onto the band and rewrap it, tying it off so the dog tag doesn't fall off. I hide the note with the dog tag, protecting the emotion from the harsh world we live in. I live in. She lived in. Without a word my brothers, father and I stand and head for the exit, clearly marked. It's night in the real world anyways, we'll be safe physically until we're home. And, with No with us in spirit, I think we'll be fine. Eventually.

So what do you think? Rant, rave, and review please! Also, I'm curious: Do you consider this a tragic ending or a happy ending? Why? Do you think I should write the story of what happens after No? I've got an idea or two if people agree that would be interesting to read. Tell me what you thought of No, the character as well as the story. Thank you for reading and thank you for existing! You're the best you I've ever heard of!