Mass Effect 4 Chapter 5: Shepard, a mass effect fanfic

Author's Note: I really hoped that everyone enjoyed the last smut filled chapter, it was interesting to write. So, please enjoy and leave me a review! For this chapter, and also since I disagreed with the romance scene between Garrus and Shepard at the end, I have changed the scene. I took part of the scene with Liara, the cracked helmet part, and added it to Garrus and Shepard's last night together before everything happened. I think, for me, that the cracked helmet should have been shared with Garrus. They were comrades first then lovers.

Disclaimer: Bioware and EA own all the rights to the Mass Effects series. I own and claim nothing but the plot point for this story.

Look around
There's no one but you and me
Right here and now
The way it was meant to be
There's a smile on my face
Knowing that together everything that's in our way
We're better than alright

Walking between the raindrops
Riding the aftershock beside you
Off into the sunset
Living like there's nothing left to lose
Chasing after gold mines
Crossing the fine lines we knew
Hold on and take a breath
I'll be here every step
Walking between the raindrops with you

Take me now
The world's such a crazy place
When the walls come down
You'll know I'm here to stay
There's nothing I would change
Knowing that together everything that's in our way
We're better than alright

There's a smile on my face
Knowing that together everything that's in our way
We're better than alright

Between the raindrops with you

Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield

Jack paced up and down in the small space of the waiting area of the hospital while Wrex stood against the wall watching her, his nerves making him jittery and Jack's pacing did little to help him.

"Can you stop that pacing for just one minute," he said through gritted teeth. She turned to him angrily and opened her mouth to say something rude when the door opened and Miranda walked out, rolling her head and stretching working out the kinks and sore muscles. They turned to her quickly.

"How is she?" Jack asked, her face set with worry. Miranda looked at her and sighed.

"She is going to make it, but it was certainly close. Much closer than I would have liked. I don't know what Shepard did on the Citadel, but it knocked out a few of her cybernetics. Good thing I'm smart enough to know how they work and I was able to "jump start" them," she answered, looking at everyone. "Shepard is in recovery and currently sleeping."

"How bad was it?" Miranda looked at Wrex and gave him a small, sad smile.

"It was bad. Her right arm was broken so I fixed the damage and put a cast on her. She has a lot of stitches, but she'll heal fairly quickly especially now that I have her cybernetics working. It'll be a few weeks before she is truly back to one hundred percent, but it's not her body I'm worried about." Jack gave her a derisive look and snorted. "I'm not kidding. She woke up again after we had gotten her back into the operating room and starting screaming at us that we were indoctrinated. I won't know anything until she's awake again and coherent enough to go through a psych evaluation."

"Make sense," Wrex said quietly. "After all the shit that Shepard has been through it would make sense that she's finally cracked. Garrus and Liara both said that she had been having nightmares. Shepard didn't exactly tell them what they were about, but even I could see that she was bending from the pressure of the war." Miranda took a deep breath.

"I should get back in there with her in case she wakes up. I need to check her vitals. Any word on where the Normandy is?" she asked, turning to Grunt.

"Still a few weeks out, but Tali fixed EDI from what I was told. Word is EDI is trying to get the ship to go as fast as she can," he replied, looking at the notes on his omni-tool. She nodded.

"Okay well, as soon as Shepard is awake I'll have someone let you know. Once I've decided that she's stable enough then you can see her," Miranda said and turned away.

Miranda pushed open the door and headed down the hallway, turning at the end and quietly opened the door to Shepard's room which was guarded by Alliance soldiers. The quiet beeping from the monitors was a relief as she walked up to Shepard's side, looking down at her sleeping face. She pressed her hand against her forehead checking for a fever and was glad when there was none. Already her body was healing. Some of her cuts were already a faint pink against her tanned skin, but her color was still pale. Her freckles stood out against the contrast.

Miranda watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. She laughed quietly as Shepard's fingers twitched. That was certainly a good sign, she thought as she pulled a chair close to Shepard's bed and sat down. She lifted the blanket and peered at what had been a giant, gaping hole in her side but now it was stitched up and barely larger than her two fingers. She let the blanket fall and tucked it in around her, careful not to disturb her.

She leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs, and watched Shepard's face. There were dark, blue bags under her eyes but right now, when sleeping, she looked serene. Her eyes fluttered and slowly opened. Quickly Miranda stood and leaned over her, sliding her hand into Shepard's good hand and squeezed softly.

"Shepard," she whispered. Shepard blinked a few times and grimaced in pain before fully opening her eyes and looking up at her, a small smile on her face.

"Miranda," she replied, her voice hoarse. "I guess this means that I owe you twice now." Miranda gave a choked laugh, blinking back her tears and shook her head.

"You don't owe me anything." Shepard looked down her body, assessing her situation and looked back at Miranda.

"How bad is it?" Miranda gave her a reproachful look.

"It was nothing that I couldn't handle Shepard," she said and Shepard chuckled but then sucked in breath from the pain. "Here, let me get you something for the pain." Miranda turned and rifled through a drawer, grabbed a syringe and turned back. Slowly she injected morphine into her IV and then tossed the syringe. She sat back down on the chair and looked at Shepard.

"Where is everyone?" Shepard asked, looking around the empty room.

"A few are in the waiting room. Jack, Wrex, Kasumi and Grunt. Samara, Jacob and Zaeed should be here shortly," she said. Shepard's eyebrows drew down.

"The Normandy? Are they okay? Did they make it off Earth?" she asked quickly, her heartbeat rising on the monitor.

"They are fine. They are a few weeks out. Without the mass relays it is taking them a while," she said quickly, trying to calm her down. Shepard's heart rate slowed and she sighed.

"Good, good. I'm glad they are okay," she said, rubbing the side of her face and wincing slightly. She looked back at Miranda. "The Reapers? What happened?" Miranda looked at her for a long moment.

"Whatever you did, they're gone. They just died. There are no reports of any Reaper activity at all," she said quietly. "What happened up there Shepard?" Shepard swallowed and looked away, her heartbeat speeding up. "It's okay; you don't have to tell me." Shepard looked back at her.

"It's fine," she said softly, breathing deeply to try to calm herself. "It's difficult to explain and I'm not sure if I really understand it all myself to be honest." She fell silent for a moment, looking down at her hands.

"Really Shepard, I was just curious," Miranda said lightly. Shepard looked up with a knowing smile.

"If you say so," she said. They both fell quiet for a few minutes, listening to the soft beeping of Shepard's monitors.

"If you're up to it, there are questions that I need to ask you to evaluate your state of mind. With the trauma, I need to know that you're one hundred percent Shepard," Miranda said, pulling out a data pad.

"Shoot," Shepard said with a small smile sitting up in bed.

"Okay. What year is it?" Miranda asked.

"Twenty one eighty six. Come on, that's easy!" Shepard laughed.

"Oh they'll get progressively harder, I assure you Commander," Miranda said pressing a button on the data pad. "What year was it when you were on Elysium during the Skyillian Blitz?"

"Twenty one seventy six. Seriously Miranda?"

"Bear with me Shepard," she said, scrolling down the data pad. "Alright, something a little different then since you're so hell bent on it. You're a spacer kid. Where were your parents stationed when you were born?"

"Here on Earth. My mother never wanted to have her kids in space. She wanted to have her kids on Earth," Shepard said, fidgeting with the blanket.

"Your mother was recently promoted to Rear Admiral, but what of your father?" Miranda asked, looking down at her data pad. "I have no information on him after the Skyillian Blitz." Shepard shot her a glance then quickly looked away and back down at her blanket.

"Dad was killed in action during the Blitz. He died trying to save as many civilians as he could. His ship, the SSV Franklin, was shot down by Batarians," she said quietly taking in a deep breath. She looked up at the ceiling, blinking. "Sometimes I wondered how I made it off of Elysium, but he didn't. For a long time I was angry. I was angry at him, myself and the Alliance. It didn't seem fair that I should have survived and made it off that fucking rock and then earn a medal for my "heroism" when my father died to save people he didn't even know. At his service, he was awarded for his actions and what he did but I still think he deserved more. During the Blitz my mother was monitoring transmissions between the Batarians when she heard that the SSV Franklin was shot down. I didn't find out until after I got off Elysium, but it was hard," she said softly. She sniffed and Miranda reached out to touch her hand while Shepard swiped at her tears. Shepard gave her a small smile, swallowing, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"I'm sorry Shepard. I couldn't find any information on him. I didn't realize- I shouldn't have brought it up," she said, squeezing Shepard's hand.

"No, it's okay really. It was a long time ago. I know now, at least, that what happened to my dad was not my fault or the Alliance's fault. At least this way I know he didn't suffer and he didn't have to deal with the Reapers," she said. Miranda pulled back and set the data pad on the table next to her.

"I think that's enough questions for now, but I definitely need to monitor you. Given everything you've been through. However, I know there is a crowd in the waiting room dying to see you," she said, smiling while tapping on her omni-tool. Shepard gave a small laugh. A few minutes later, Jack, Wrex, Grunt and Kasumi filed into the room. Their eyes searching Shepard for any signs that there was something wrong. Shepard smiled at them and Kasumi bounded over, giving her a light hug.

"You had everyone so worried, Shep," Kasumi said smiling through her tears. Shepard gave her a tired smile. Wrex walked up and took Shepard's good hand in his, squeezing.

"Doing alright?" he asked. She gave him a knowing smile.

"Of course," she smiled. She looked at Jack who was standing at the foot of her bed. "Jack I didn't know you'd be so worried about me," she said smiling. Jack lifted her eyebrow at her and the corner of her mouth lifted up in a smile.

"Well Shepard, you saved my ass more than once. I felt I had to return the favor. Didn't seem fair otherwise," she laughed. Grunt laughed as he slapped his hand down on Shepard's fractured leg and when she jumped in pain he quickly removed it, apologizing profusely.

"Sorry Shepard, I didn't even think about it," he said. He looked at her with his head lowered. "I really am sorry."

"You're fine Grunt, really," she said.

"So Shepard, when will you be up and moving instead of lying in this bed like a useless squishy lump?" Wrex asked, laughing at the look on Miranda's face. Shepard laughed seeing the shocked look on Miranda's face.

"Relax Cheerleader, he was joking," Jack said as she lightly punched Miranda in the arm. Miranda bristled at the term "Cheerleader".

"I'm feeling a lot better, but I think it'll still be a few weeks before I'm actually up and moving around freely," Shepard said leaning back against her pillows. "I'm itching to get in touch with the Normandy. So Wrex, give me the update. What's it like out there?" Shepard asked, jerking her head back towards the wall.

"Lots of celebrating with alcohol. It's parties in the streets before everyone gets together to start the clean-up and figure out what to do with all the dead Reapers," he rumbled, leaning back against the wall.

"I think they earned it," she said, rubbing her face. "What about your students Jack? Are they okay?"

"You worry too much Shepard. They're fine, no casualties," Jack replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Do we have an estimate on how many Reaper corpses are out there?" she asked.

"Not really. There hasn't been time yet. While people are celebrating we're also trying to get organized," Grunt said.

"Shepard you really should be resting," Miranda said. Wrex looked at her.

"I think she's right Shepard. You've done enough. You need to rest up and get better," he said, pushing himself away from the wall. "I need to get back to the Krogan and start helping anyway." Jack and Grunt nodded.

"I can start as well," Kasumi piped up.

"Okay, well if you need me. You know where I am," Shepard said. Jack threw her a look while turning away to walk out.

"I think you've done more than enough Shepard. Let someone else handle shit for a change. Let them see how not fucking easy it is," Jack said as she walked out the door behind Wrex, Grunt and Kasumi leaving Shepard with Miranda.

Miranda fussed with Shepard's pillows and checked her IVs and monitors while saying, "I hate to admit it but she's right. When I say rest Shepard, I mean no thinking or stressing or worrying about anything but getting better." She pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Shepard.

"It just feels like a second nature to me. I've been leading and commanding since I was twenty-two," Shepard said, lying down on her pillows and wincing. Miranda pulled a syringe from the drawer and slowly pushed its contents into Shepard's IV.

"I understand Shepard, but there is nothing for you to worry about anymore. The galaxy is safe. For now anyway," she added laughing. "I gave you something for the pain and it's going to make you tired. Rest for now and in a few hours I'll bring you something to eat," she said, tossing the syringe into the disposal unit. When she turned back Shepard was already asleep, her breathing slow and even. Miranda turned away and walked towards the door giving one last look to the sleeping woman in the bed and smiled.

She was sitting on the couch in her cabin looking at her breather helmet, checking it for any damage. She turned it over, running her fingers over it and traced the outline of the N7 logo.

"Shepard, I thought you might be up here," came Garrus' deep rumbling voice. She looked up at him and gave him a smile. "What're you doing?" She looked back down at the helmet in her hands then stood and walked towards the bed.

"I thought I heard the casing crack during that last fight," she said quietly then tossed her helmet at him. He looked down at the helmet then back at her. She looked at him, at the expression on his face, memorizing the blue clan markings then sat down. "It must have just grazed me." He smiled at her and set it down on her coffee table.

"You know what the best part is about a battle that decides the whole fate of galaxy?" He asked as he walked towards her and sat next to her on the bed. She smiled at him.

"Winning it?" He looked at her and smiled.

"I was thinking it's a good excuse to remind the ones you care about that, well, you care about them. Want some company?" She laughed as she took his hand and squeezed it, looking into his blue eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from him.

"You read my mind," she said, sliding closer to him. She wanted him to hold her, caress her. He smiled and leaned towards her.

"Hm, guess I'm getting pretty good at this," he said, sliding his hand through her hair. "But some more practice wouldn't hurt." She laughed and leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, letting her eyes close as she felt his hand slide over her back down towards her hip, gripping her. He pulled back and she opened her eyes to look at him. "I have a question I wanted to ask you and I know that this is probably not the time, but we have hours until we reach our destination." She laughed and moved up the bed so she could lean against the headboard.

"Ask away," she said. He turned his body so that he could face her and leaned down against the bed resting his body on his elbow and caressed her leg. She suppressed a shiver at his touch.

"What are your plans for after this war?" She looked at him thoughtfully. Truthfully, she'd never given it much thought. She would be damn lucky if she made it out this god forsaken war alive.

"I don't know. I think I'd like to live in the mountains somewhere. Some place quiet," she replied watching his fingers dance her leg.

"Any particular place?"

"Honestly Garrus I haven't given it that much thought. I want to win this war first and then go from there," she said, leaning her head back. She felt him move closer to her.

"So you're telling me that the great Commander Shepard has no dreams or fantasies?" She laughed and looked at him.

"I do, but why think about it when there is a high chance I'll never get it?" He jerked his head up and his eyes pierced hers. "Come on Garrus, you can't tell me that you haven't thought about it either." She watched the emotions flit over his face.

"I'd rather not think about that. Instead I think about what our future holds, not your death," he said softly. She reached her hand out and touched his face, forcing his head up to look at her. Her eyes searched his.

"I have no illusions that I'll make it out of this alive. I had a second chance thanks to the Lazarus project but I don't get two," she whispered. He jerked away from her quickly and stood. He paced at the side of her bed, silent before looking at her again. She watched him quietly, letting him gather his thoughts. He paused in his pacing and turned to her, crossing his arms over his chest. His mandibles twitched slightly.

"I think you'll make it out alright. You're strong," he said. She gave him a small smile. "You have been through hell and back. We made it to Ilos, we made it through the Omega-4 relay, you died once and now you're sitting in front of me. I don't think this is your final fight." He sat back down on the bed and took her hand in his.

"Maybe you're right," she said looking at his large three fingered hand holding her smaller five fingered one in his. His free hand slid up into her hair and made her look at him.

"I know I am," he said, his eyes boring into hers. "Now amuse me. Forget your dark thoughts of dying and tell me what you want after this war is over." This was why she loved Garrus. He disagreed but he didn't press the issue. He tried to prove how she was wrong with examples, not with words. She licked her lips and smiled.

"Okay. Like I said, I want to live in the mountains somewhere with not a lot of thru traffic. I want to build a house near a lake and raise a family."

"You really think you'd like civilian life?" He laughed. She threw him a look.

"It's better than trying to raise kids on ships. I think if I make it out of this war, the Alliance would understand. What? You can't see me as a home maker?" She smiled at him.

"You? Making dinner and baking? Attending school functions? No, not really," he said, smiling at her.

"When you put it that way no I can't. Though I don't exactly see you tossing a ball around a big yard with our son," she said, looking at him. His eyeplates lowered over his eyes and she felt his fingers tighten around hers.

"So you see us in this mountain setting?" She pulled back and looked at him curiously.

"Of course. Why? Do you have plans where I am not included?" she asked, giving him a half smile.

"No, I just didn't think- well, I've thought about us getting married and having children but I didn't know that you had as well," he said softly, playing with the ends of her hair. She saw something in his eyes and felt a tug at her heart.

"I told you that I had dreams. All of which revolve around you and I. I love you Garrus," she said softly, leaning forward to press her lips against his. His hand tightened in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck, maneuvering her body so that she was sitting on top of him. She felt his tongue slide of her lips and greedily she opened her mouth and ran her tongue over his, sighing.

His hands slid down her back and came to rest on her hips. She pulled back and grasped the zipper of her dress and pulled it down. He leaned forward and pressed his face against the crook of her neck, breathing deeply.

He slid the dress down her arms, exposing her soft tanned skin. She sighed when he ran his hands over her naked torso and leaned down to kiss him, sliding her tongue over his as she deftly undid the buttons on his jacket. She pushed the jacket off his shoulders and ran her hand over his bare chest. She loved the feeling of his plating and the feel of his skin. She moved off of him to shimmy out of her dress while he removed the rest of his clothing.

He tugged her hand and she laid on the bed with him between her legs. His hand grabbed her leg and pulled it up as his mouth did things to her that made her moan and thrust her hips up to meet his. She felt the urgent need of having him inside her and vocalized it. She reached between them and guided him to her entrance, her eyes never leaving his.

He was much larger than most men she'd been with but she felt whole when they were connected like this. She pulled his head down to kiss him as he slid out of her and back in. He hit her spot and her back arched. She ran her hands over his back moaning his name, digging her nails into his flesh every time he hit that special spot.

He pressed his hip against hers, rubbing his body against her clit as he slid in and out of her. She pulled her legs up and wrapped them around his small waist. "Garrus," she said, feeling nothing but overwhelming love for the Turian she was making love with. She tightened her muscles and felt a surge of intense pleasure as she ripped a long, low moan from him.

She ran her hand over his fringe as her other hand grasped futilely at his hip urging him to move faster. He understood and pulled back slightly. She felt her stomach muscles tighten, her breathing speed up and knew she was close. His body tightened above her and she knew he was too.

"Garrus," she moaned, looking into his eyes. She tried to convey her message with her body and eyes. He paused and looked at her.

"Are you sure?" he asked, running his hand through her hair and down her cheek. She nodded and pulled him down. He started sliding in and out of her deeper and faster and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. She moaned, feeling the pleasure build.

"Elizabeth," he groaned, slamming his body into hers placing his lips at her neck. She felt his breath hot against her neck and it intensified all the surges of feelings she was having. She loved him, she wanted this. She opened her mouth and clamped her teeth down on his neck, feeling a slight tickle of blood flow over her tongue. He moaned and with one last thrust, he sank his teeth into her neck while both of them succumbed to the intense pleasure of their simultaneous orgasms.

She'd never felt something like what was happening. She felt her life dancing and twining with Garrus', as if the very essence of her being was being tied to him; it was the most intense thing she had ever experienced. The aftershocks of her orgasm dimmed and she pulled her mouth away from his neck, feeling different, but it was a good different.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly as Garrus rolled off of her to lay next to her on the bed. When he didn't say anything she began to worry. She turned to him and propped herself up on her elbow and tentatively touched his chest. "Is something wrong?" He opened his eyes and captured her hand in his.

"No, nothing is wrong," he said. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that not everything was okay. "I've never bonded with anyone before. I had heard that it was powerful, but I think that bonded with you transcended everything in this galaxy."

"Is that not good?" she asked worriedly. He gave her a smile.

"It's very good. How do you feel though?" She gave him a thoughtful look.

"I feel whole. I feel complete now," she said and leaned down to kiss him.

Shepard woke with a start and blinked, trying to figure out where she was. She heard the quiet beeping of the monitors and realized with a wave of relief that she was in the hospital. She was alive and that was good. Garrus was right, she thought with a smile.