Summary: Garrus, Tali and Javik investigate the Batarian ship and find something they were no t expecting while Shepard deals with her own issues.
WARNING: Very dark.
Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter! It means so much to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and it's not too dark.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Bioware.
Joker looked up at Garrus who was standing next to him, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes darting from the console to the window, occasionally focusing on his visor.
"I repeat: this is the SSV Normandy of the Alliance Navy. We have the Primarch of Palaven on board. Identify yourself." Joker threw his arms up in the air and sighed. "They're not responding. They want to hail us and then not fucking respond. Typical." Garrus looked over at EDI.
"EDI, have your scans found anything?" Her hand glided over the terminal in front of her, pressing her mechanical fingers against the screen and shook her head.
"Nothing out of the ordinary. Preliminary scans have shown that the ship is functioning without impediments. I detect signs of life aboard, but there is no way to be certain unless we board."
"Then we go on board. Tell Tali and Javik to meet me at the airlock in ten," he said turning his back and heading for the elevator. Joker turned around giving him an incredulous look.
"You're going on?"
"Yeah, why?" He turned around, shrugging his shoulders.
"Um, maybe because they are Batarians and hate the Commander, er, Admiral? And oh, right maybe because it is just us out here with no one to call for back up? I mean, it's just a thought." Garrus gave a deep chuckle shook his head.
"We'll be fine."
"Yeah but- okay, suit yourself," he said turning back around.
"But what?" Joker sighed and once again turned around to look at him.
"Nothing, really." Garrus titled his head at him, raising a brow plate. "Fine," he sighed. "Look I know you used to be a C-Sec officer and you're the Primarch now and all but do you really think this is a good idea?"
"You don't think I'm capable of handling the situation?" Garrus asked giving him a small smile, his mandibles twitching.
"No! I just have a bad feeling about this."
"Shepard would go on board to make sure everything is okay, despite her feelings towards the Batarians."
"Yeah, well, you're not Shepard," Joker snapped at him. As soon as the words left his mouth he clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes. "Look, that's not what-"
"I know what you mean. I'm not Shepard and I'm not trying to take her place, but I am the XO and I want us to do what the Normandy has always done. Whether or not we like the Batarians or they like us we have to make sure that everyone aboard that ship," he pointed out the window. "is okay." Joker sighed.
"I know it just doesn't feel the same without Shepard." He swallowed and picked at an invisible piece of lint on his pants. He'd been under Shepard's command for so long it was strange to take orders from someone else. Garrus gave him a sympathetic look and nodded, an expression flitting over his face.
"Trust me when I say that I understand how you feel. We all do," he said softly, his voice a deep rumble. They were quiet for a few moments before Joker looked up and spun his chair around.
"Alright, enough with this pity party."
"Another party? I don't think I could handle another one so soon," Tali said coming to stand next to Garrus. He looked at her and shook his head.
"Are you ready?" She nodded as he turned and glanced at Javik who was carrying his rifle, tossing it to him.
"Let's go."
Tali stood by the airlock and waited as Javik and Garrus situated their helmets.
"What do we know?"
"Nothing really. EDI said that there are people on board but when we tried to communicate no one answered."
"That's odd. Didn't they hail us?" she asked reaching around to grab her shotgun.
"Yeah. I guess we'll find out what's going on when we get on." The door shut behind them as the airlock hissed open, the door sliding upwards.
They stepped forward onto the connecting platform and carefully made their way to other side. The door to the Batarian ship opened and the emergency lights were on, bathing the area in a pale yellow orange.
"Be on your guard. I do not have a good feeling about this," Javik said moving somewhere behind Garrus.
They moved into the corridor, behind the pilot seat and found no one. Garrus turned and motioned for them to fall behind him, gripping his rifle in his hands careful to keep his finger off the trigger. It was eerie. Emergency lighting lit up the floor, guiding their way through the darkened CIC. The only sounds they could hear were the creaking bulkheads and their own deep, even breathing.
As they moved past the map, Tali stopped and checked the message terminal on the wall.
"Anything?"
She shook her head, her eyes continuing to scan through the most recent messages. One caught her attention and motioned for Garrus. "This one," she pointed to a message. "This is a general distress message that they tried to send right before hailing us, but the sending failed. Something isn't right here Garrus. Where did they all go?" Her glowing eyes looked up at him and he shook his head, at a loss for any possible ideas of what could have happened.
How could they send a distress message, try to contact the Normandy and then just disappear? Why were they so far out and away from the rendezvous point? Were they at Earth and were somehow trying to make their way to the Exodus Cluster? Why did they wait until seeing the Normandy to send a distress message? Something was very, very wrong.
"Joker. Have EDI, Alenko, Vega, Liara and Cortez secure all points of entry on the Normandy. I don't like this," Garrus said.
"Will do."
"Alright, let's get to the lower deck and see if we can figure out this mystery." He moved towards the elevator and pressed the button to summon it. Nothing happened. "Fantastic." He looked around for another door, but didn't see anything.
"EDI, can you pull up schematics of this ship? The elevator is out and there are no stairs leading to the crew's quarters." Almost immediately his omni-tool pinged.
"I am seeing that there are ducts that run from beneath where you are standing to the next level. However, it is not meant for someone of your size, Garrus." He looked at Tali who gave him a horrified look, stepping back and shaking her head.
"What? No! I had my fun with vents, shafts and ducts back on the Collector base!"
"You do not have a choice. You are the smallest one here, Quarian." She shot Javik a scathing look and pointed at him.
"EDI said that Garrus is too big, she said nothing about you. If you take off your shoulder guards then you should be able to fit just fine. I am not willing to go down into a creepy, dark duct that leads to another deck without any knowledge of what happened, if anything, to the people on this ship," she argued, crossing her arms over her chest, giving a pleading look to Garrus. He looked between her and Javik trying to make a decision.
She was the smallest, but her combat skills, in case she had to fight, were not as honed as Javik's. Tali could hold her own so long as she had a team with her, but on her own… he wasn't sure she'd be able to make it. Then again, on the other hand she was the tech expert. She would be able to get the elevator working again and if need be he could send Javik in after her if things got out of hand. He cast her an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry Tali, but I need you to get the elevator working." Javik bent down and pulled up on the floor, lifting the grate and pushing it to the side. Tali threw Garrus a look that clearly said they would be discussing this later before lowering herself into the duct. He leaned over and peered down, watching as she disappeared from view.
"Okay, I'm down here. I don't see anyone or hear anything except for the ship," came Tali's voice through his helmet, startling him.
"Can you get the elevator working?" When she didn't answer he nodded at Javik who began to lower himself into the duct. "Tali?"
"Oh, Keelah," she whispered. Javik looked up at Garrus who held up his hand to stop him.
"What is it Tali?" He felt his heart pump faster and his hands felt slick inside his gloves.
"There is blood everywhere." Quickly Javik dropped himself into the ducts without a backward glance at Garrus, leaving him alone.
"Do you see anyone?" He was answered again with silence until Javik answered his question.
"No bodies. This is not good," he said quietly.
Garrus crouched down and pressed his back against a nearby crate, trying to slow his breathing and his heart rate. This didn't make any sense. They were more than just a few million miles away from the nearest civilized planet and for some reason this Batarian ship was out here doing God knows what.
He tried to sort through the information, trying to pick at the inconsistencies and continued to come up blank. How could they send a general distress message just minutes before hailing the Normandy and there be absolutely no sign of life? EDI had said… EDI. She had said there were signs of life, but not what type of life.
"EDI?" he called frantically over his radio. "What life did you detect on board this frigate?"
"I couldn't discern what type of life, only that it was giving off heat signatures indicative of life." He cursed and thought about Tali and Javik.
"Tali, Javik you have to get up here as soon as you can. Fuck the elevator, we need to go. Now!" No sooner had the words left his mouth he heard Tali's high pitched scream echo through the dark and empty ship.
Instantly he released the latches on his armor, dropping the heavy pieces to the floor of the ship with a loud clang and scrambling to grab his rifle as he tried to maneuver his way down the duct cursing at his ridiculously large cowl, but managing to fit however uncomfortable it might be.
"Garrus? What's happening? Why did Tali's life signs just drop off?" Panic slithered through him and gripped him tightly as he pulled himself out of the duct, quickly scanning the darkened area for any signs of Tali or Javik.
"I don't know."
"You don't know? What the hell is going on over there? Javik's vitals are dropping!"
"Joker, now is not the time!"
At the end of the hall he saw Javik leaning against the wall, holding his side. He made his way over to him and crouched next to him, opening his omni-tool to apply medi-gel.
"No, you have to find Tali. It took her that way," he said pointing a shaking hand towards the other side of the ship.
"What is it?" Javik shook his head and Garrus noticed that his helmet was missing.
"I've never seen it before, not even in my cycle. I'll be okay, go get the Quarian." Garrus nodded and took off in the general direction that Javik had told him to go, swinging his rifle into position and carefully, quietly, made his way.
He turned to look behind him when he felt a rush of air but didn't see anything. He whipped around at the sound of Tali's voice and sprinted towards it, moving faster now that his chest piece was off. An emergency light was flashing and it was bouncing off of Tali's helmet as a reflection.
"Tali," he said, nearing her body. She was saturated in her own blood, a giant gash running from her right shoulder down to her left hip and her leg was twisted in such a way that he knew instantly that it was broken. He lowered his rifle as he came in front of her but her frightened gasp made him stop and turn in the direction that she was looking.
He saw a blur and was thrown backwards, his rifle leaving his hands as his back his the wall with immense force. He lifted his head and felt his blood run cold at the sight of the creature in front of him. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before and he had seen a lot of things in his life. The animal stood taller than he did and was covered in a mix of feathers and fur. The head on the thing was larger than a Krogan's hump and it had ears that protruded from its head on the top.
It snapped its massive jaws, shaking its head and flung saliva across the area. Its yellow eyes glinted in the pale emergency lighting as it looked at Garrus who was scrambling to pick himself up off the floor and get to his rifle.
The creature charged towards him, releasing a deep, thunderous growl and sank its claws into Garrus' shoulder making him jerk back in pain. He kicked out at the animal, digging his boots into what he assumed was the abdomen and it relinquished its hold on him, pulling back with a whimper. He kicked it again and scanned the ground desperately looking for any type of weapon he could get his hands on.
He tried to grab some broken glass but was yanked back by his leg as the creature took a hold of him, lifting him up and throwing him at Tali. She tried to move out of the way, but he collided with her; his body searing in pain and tried to ignore her cries.
He looked behind him at the creature that was standing there, panting and drooling like a rabid beast. His shoulder was gushing blood and he was sure that his back was fractured. Something next to him glinted and he reached out, grabbing a hold of the object and relief washed through him when he realized it was Tali's shotgun.
He screamed in pain as he felt the sharp teeth of the abominable creature sink into his leg through his armor and tried to turn his body to shoot it, but he couldn't get the angle right. If he tried to shoot it he was likely to hit himself instead.
Tali was trying to say something but it was incoherent and he couldn't understand anything. He looked at her. "I'm sorry I made you go into the duct," he choked out, trying to ignore the pain that was ricocheting through his body. Weakly she shook her head before her eyes closed and her movements stilled.
The creature pulled his mouth away from Garrus and he turned, pointed the shotgun and fired. The animal screamed and blood spurted from it, spraying Garrus and the wall behind him. It stumbled back and fell against the wall, growling at him. Quickly he expelled the heat sink and fired again, trying to aim for the heart but he wasn't even sure where it would be located.
The beast cried again and fell to the floor, writhing in pain. Again he fired and got it in the head, watching with satisfaction as the side of the head flew off and the animal stilled once and for all. He dropped the shotgun and pushed himself off of Tali.
He laid there and looked at her still figure, fighting to keep his eyes open.
"I'm sorry, Tali," he whispered. His last thoughts before he succumbed to the darkness that enveloped him were of Shepard and her smile.
She was running, always running through the dark, misty forest. The whispering voices caressed her skin, their breath tickling the back of her neck. It was never ending; the forest stretched on as far as the eye could see, the ground a dark, muddy color and silent beneath her pounding feet.
The whispers coaxed her, devoured her and she felt as if she could not escape them. There was no escaping this place. No matter how hard she tried, how fast she ran there was no end to the madness, no end to her guilt.
Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams appeared and ran with her, her face contorted in hatred. "You left me to die!"
She shook her head, her breath silent even though she could feel the constant, rapid thud of her own heart beating against the inside of her chest like a caged, broken animal trying to escape.
"You can't run, can't hide from your guilt," she whispered, pressing her lips against her ear. "You were a coward."
"Coward," the whispers echoed, the wind carrying their voices between the dark, dead trees. Thane Krios stood some fifty feet away and she shouldn't have been able to hear him, but she did. She always heard him.
"You could have saved me." She willed her legs to move her faster, darting between the trees. "You just stood there and let him stab me with his sword. You are no siha."
"No!" It wasn't true; there was nothing she could have done to stop the bastard Kai Leng from murdering him. His usual serene face changed, shifted, into a look of rage and he pointed a finger at her.
"Yes! You watched as he sliced into me. You never fired, never ran to help or call out."
Her bare feet pounded the ground. She dug her toes into the Earth, her hair whipping out behind her as she kept her pace. There was no stopping, no matter how much she wanted too. It was as if there was a force controlling her, pushing her forward of her own accord.
He disappeared as she ran past him, shimmering into nothingness. Mordin Solus and Legion suddenly flanked her. Mordin's eyes flashed in fury as Legion's normally bright blue light turned a deep, dark red staring her down.
"Krogan and Turian support more important than me, Shepard." She clasped her hands over her ears, shaking her head. This wasn't real, they knew, they understood.
"Shepard-Commander believed peace between Creators and Geth would last, but for what?"
"Let me go, let me die. Less important than precious Turians."
"You easily destroyed us, killed us in a fraction of a second to save your life."
"Lead me to believe work on Genophage wrong! Only to push me to death!"
"No," she whispered, tears cascading over her lashes and splashed on her cheeks. She wanted to stop, to quit running. She had to explain but her voice wouldn't work. Their whispers too loud in her ears. "Someone else might have gotten it wrong," she sobbed, remembering Mordin's words.
"Pointless, pointless waste of life."
"You let me die only to kill the Geth."
Their forms dissipated, leaving her alone again but she knew. She knew she was never alone in this forest. They were always watching her, goading her. She could feel them pressing in on her, she felt as if she was suffocating but would not die as if her body would not allow it.
Saren Arterius ran behind her, his talons ghosting over her skin, his mouth plates pressed close to her ear. She shivered, but her pace never faltered. The leaves slapped against her face, stinging her cheeks. There wasn't supposed to be pain in dreams. In this world there was always pain.
"You made no difference." His breath danced over her neck, his hand sliding over her arm, bringing her body flush with his. She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to look at him. He waved a hand in front of them, "Look at who you sacrificed for your goals."
She opened her eyes and turned her head away. His hand left her arm and jerked her face toward the small crowd, gesturing wildly. "Their deaths were in vain," his words ripping into her, pulling a groan from her throat.
They were lying in a pile; their bodies stacked one on top of another. Their blood mingled to create a deep, putrid color and she felt the bile rising in her throat. She tried to swallow and shook her head.
He jerked her to a sudden halt, spinning her to face him, his hands fisting into her hair and forced her face up to his. His blue, mechanical eyes bore into hers and no matter how hard she fought she couldn't tear her eyes away from his unrelenting gaze.
"I tried to save the galaxy," he growled, tugging her towards him. "But you," he whispered, bringing his head down and scraping his teeth over her soul bond mark. "You saved no one."
She lifted her hands and shoved at him, knocking him to the ground, anger slithering through every inch of her skin. "No!" she screamed. Her body started to run again, jumping over the pile of bodies. "I saved the galaxy."
"Is that what you think?" He was up and following her, hot on her heels. He grabbed her arm and swung her around to him, motioning to the forest. "What do you see, Shepard?"
She looked past his shoulder and her stomach heaved. The scene had changed. There was no forest, not anymore. There was only death and destruction. Everyone she had ever known was little the ground, their bodies stiff and unmoving. Buildings from across the galaxy lay broken and smoking.
In this world it was only her and Saren standing amid the ruins of all galactic civilization. He circled behind her, his whispering voice flowing over her. "The man you love is gone. The Quarian you held so dear is rotting somewhere down the road, can't you smell them?"
Her nostrils flared, smelling the burnt and rotting bodies and she heaved, spewing whatever contents she had in her stomach onto the broken pavement, tears flowing from her eyes. "No, no I-"
"You spoke to them?" He finished her sentence and his silky laugh enveloped her, drowned her. She couldn't breathe. "That was but a dream." He pushed her broken form to the ground and she crawled towards Garrus' lifeless form, throwing herself on top of him.
She cried over him, touching his face, pulling him into her lap and rocked back and forth. "No," she whispered, her anguish taking a hold of her. His eyes that had once held so much life, stared up at her blankly. The bright blue a now dull, milky color.
"You failed your bond mate," Saren goaded, bending down next to her his hand sliding over shoulder and down her back. She jerked away from him and squeezed her eyes shut at his cold, quiet laugh. He grabbed a hold of her hair and ripped her from Garrus, dragging her and throwing her down in front of Liara. "Your ex-lover you left behind."
He continued this, throwing her down upon the bodies of the people she cared about most saving her mother for last. "You killed her because you are a coward!" his whisper hissed into her ear.
She shook her head. It couldn't be true. None of this could be true. It had felt so real, talking to Garrus on Earth and then her mother.
"Of course it felt real," he read her thoughts. They were always inside her head, calling her name.
She felt herself being thrown and collided with a nearby vehicle, her back slamming into it making her dizzy. She groaned and tried to stand, but Saran stood over her whispering in fervent tones but she couldn't understand any of what he was saying.
He bent down, took a hold of her shoulder and sunk his talons deep into her shoulder. "You failed, Admiral." He pulled back and she felt the familiar rush of warm blood spilling over her shoulder, lifting her hand and touching it.
"No, I saved them. I had to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure life." She tried to move, to get away from him.
She had to find a way out of this place or she would die here. Would that be so bad? A voice asked inside her head. She squeezed her eyes shut against the hot, stinging tears that threatened to erupt. You already wish you were dead. But she didn't.
"That's why you're a coward!" His voice ceased to be a whisper and instead became a deep, thundering bellow echoing off the empty streets.
He dug his talons into her leg and she cried out, trying to kick him away but to no avail. "You wanted to live. To not give up anything and instead doomed an entire race to extinction."
He dragged her to him, his talons sinking deeper every time she moved until his face was hovering above her speaking to her, but she couldn't hear him. His voice was fading. The scene was disappearing.
Her eyes flew open, her hand grasping at the bond mark as Garrus' name was ripped from her throat in a scream. It wasn't a dream but something was wrong. Her hand stilled over the mark and her mind searched for something. Something triggered her nightmare to change.
She didn't know how and she didn't know why, but she knew there was something definitely wrong with Garrus.
End Notes: I feel that I must apologize, profusely, for how dark this chapter turned out to be. However, I found that it was necessary. My husband is Army and I know what soldiers can go through after being in war. It seems natural that Shepard would suffer from some form of PTSD and her reactions are those of someone who blames themselves for the deaths of people she wished she could have saved, but couldn't.
As for Garrus and the others, it didn't seem very logical that they would be the only ones out in Space. Since I'm not fond of Batarians and I think that they are, well, stupid I decided that it would be them to find an unknown creature, bring it aboard and not take the necessary precautions. However, more WILL be explained in the next chapter.
I am sorry if you didn't enjoy this chapter, but hopefully you did, regardless of how it turned out. I was going for something different but this just seemed the best for the plot line.