Disclaimer:

I think Santa hates me O_O Cause he didn't give me Twilight!

---Bella---

Jasper took me home, I was more quiet then I usually was. I tried to think of what I was going to do. Was I just going to give myself up? That would be the easiest route but what would my family think of me? It wasn't an option. I cared too much about them. Do I care that much about myself? Not really. As Jasper drove me home, he took quick glances at me. Panicked glances. He pulled over to the side of the road. It was down pouring. He turned to me. His eyes with fear.

"Bella, I want to know what happened." I shook my head. I couldn't hardly process that it even happened to me. "Please, Bella. I thought we were friends." I snapped my head over to him.

"Really?" He used that card and I felt like I was going to fall into pieces from everything. What have I done to deserve this? I opened my door and got out into the freezing cold rain. I slid down to the cement and held my head in my hands. Jasper came over to me. I stood up when he started trying to comfort me. I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I cannot take this anymore! I have a brother." Shock went across his face. "Yeah, a fucking brother. And since I put my father in prison he is here to kill me. To get fucking revenge." Tears were coming down but they were hardly notice able in the rain. "If you don't mind, Jazz, I want to walk home. It'll clear my head." I put my hands in my pockets. A long walk will do me good. Jasper looked unsure but okayed me to do it.

I started down the road and Jasper took off. I tried to work out problems in my head. I pulled up my soaked sleeve and looked at the bruises that were starting to go away. I wasn't use to being around people who were stable. Who cares for you and won't hurt you. That wasn't something I was use to. Everything that has been going was starting to take effect on me. I was about to break at any minute. I looked around and I kept my head down as I walking. I looked up from the ground and for some reason, everywhere I looked, I saw his face. James's face. Everywhere I saw darkness, I saw red eyes and a dazzling smile. I fell to my knees and held my head and screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs. The rain wasn't doing me good. The walk wasn't doing me good.

I saw a nearby bar. It was the closets thing that was there. I staggered in and took a seat in the far back corner. My hair was dripping as I kept my head down. A boy who looked my age sat down across me. He had some weed in his hand. "Bad day?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I chuckled humorlessly. "You have no idea." He passed me some weed. I looked at it. "I don't smoke, thanks though." He nodded and smoked a mouth full or whatever. A song came on in the background of the bar. It was Cut Up Angels by The Used. I started to tap my foot along to the beat and started singing along to it. "If we cut out the badWell then wed have nothing leftLike I cut up your mouth The night I stuffed it all inAnd you lied to the AngelSaid I stabbed you to deathIf we go at the same timeThey'll clean up the messI lost my head You couldn't comeThis lust to my brain almost feels like a gunWatched you bite into the bottleWatched me kick out the chairLet you chew up the glassAnd laughed as you just hung thereI have thought of rose petals mostly perfect and pureThen I thought of your petals And the abuse they've been throughI lost my head You couldn't comeThis lust to my brain almost feels like a gunYou lost your headI couldn't comeThis lust to my brain almost feels like a gunWhoa whoaI told the angelsCant stay in heavenI asked the devilIf we cut out the bad well then we'd have nothing leftLike I cut up your angels Yeah you stabbed me to deathI lost my head You couldn't comeThis lust to my brain almost feels like a gunYou lost your head I couldn't comeThis lust to my brain almost feels like a gun" The boy across from me smiled. This was one of my favorite songs.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

I shrugged. Like I cared. "I guess. Make it Sex on the Beach, please." He went away and was back in a second with my drink. I took a sip and got up. I needed to get home and I didn't have my motorcycle. "Can you give me a ride?" I asked. I knew it wasn't smart to get a ride from a stranger but I already have the worst luck in the world, so I just didn't care what happened now. He nodded and I got into a ratty looking car. He drove me at a good pace that I didn't think was too fast and he dropped me off in front of the house. Edward came outside and looked at me. I bent over and looked in the window. "Um, thanks. Later." I smiled, and left. Edward looked scared for a second.

He half ran over to me and pulled me into a hug. I awkwardly hugged him back. "Are you okay?" Panic was in his voice. I nodded. "Lets get you inside. Your soaking." I kind of walked in a daze, still. He noticed that. "Okay, um, lets get you in the shower? So it'll warm you up?" I shrugged. A shower did seem like a good idea. There was a bathroom in my room. He pulled me into the bathroom and started the shower up. I got tense as soon as I was in my room. Edward just about to leave and I grabbed his arm and pulled to me. I hugged him.

"Don't go. I'm scared," I said into his chest. My voice broke.

He held me tightly and whispered into my hair. "I won't. Not ever." We hugged for a long moment and I pulled away. I got his shirt all wet and I grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry," I murmured.

"Its okay. Get in the shower, okay?" I went out into my bedroom and got some PJ's. Edward was about to leave my room to give me some privacy. I gripped my pajama's tightly.

"Edward?" He turned around to me. "Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone." I bent my head and looked down. He came over to me and lifted my chin with his finger.

"I'll stay with you as long as you want me to."

"Thank-you," I whispered.

I took a shower, and since I couldn't stand to be alone, Edward had to stay in the bathroom with me. He wasn't in the shower with me but he was sitting on the toilet, waiting for me to get done. I looked at myself in the mirror. Edward was still in there. A towel was wrapped around me so Edward couldn't see anything. I looked around the bathroom. There was a vent in there. I tightened and Edward came to me and hugged me. I relaxed a little but not all the way. "I'll let you get changed." He was about to leave but I couldn't have him do that. I couldn't peel my eyes away from the vent either.

"Please….just…don't," I struggled. "I cannot stand being alone, not even for two minutes. I'm scared of everything now, Edward. Just….stay in here while I change?" He turned to me and frowned but nodded. I grabbed my bra and took off the towel, Edward quickly averted his eyes. Thank goodness. I got changed quickly and my hair dried quickly as well. I went over to my bed. It was pitch dark out and I was looking outside. I was looking all around my bedroom. Was he watching me now? I got under my covers.

He sat on the edge of my bed and petted my hair down. "Do you want me to stay the night?" I barely nodded and scooted over in bed. I turned on my side so I was facing him. He put his arms around me and held me tightly. Let him hold me, it felt nice. To be embraced. I nuzzled my head into his chest and smiled. Right then, right there, it felt like everything was right. He bent down a tiny bit and whispered in my ear. "I love you." My heart did flips and turns and then it stopped beating all together.

"I love you, too," I whispered back. We said nothing else for the rest of the night. That was all that needed to be said. I drifted off to sleep. I had a nightmare of James. I woke up many times that night. Each time I fell asleep, every dream was different. But the pattern in every dream was that James was torturing me. Killing me slowly, and loving every minute of it.