Disclaimer: Don't own. If I did, I would, I dunno, teach Nudge to be focused, then make her the Debate Club prez. Admit it; if that girl could stay on topic, she would pwn the world!!! You can't stand against the power of focused ramblings.

Graci for the reviews!!! I feel loved. I was originally planning for Nudge to be in her period, but there's only so many times Nudge can think she's expiring……..BTW, I'm a girl, so I have full rights to talk about this stuff. Not that you can't if you're a guy, but you know…..

'Goooooood Morning, Max!'

'…Nudge, it's nearly noon.'

'Oh, well then, gooooooood almost-noon, Max!'

'Um, good almost-noon to you too, sweetie.'

'Hey, Max, do you use pads or tampons?'

'Um, Nudge…sweetie…where the heck did that come from!?'

'Because when we were at school – normal school, not The School- I had a human growth and development class and the teacher said that to soak up the blood, which is issued from the female body due to-'

'Tampons, Nudge.'

'-natural human occurrences, - Tampons? Really?'

'Um…yeah….'

'Oh, okay. Can I borrow some?'

'What? Why?'

'…no reason.'

'You haven't started your, um, you know….'

'Ew, NO! I don't need to use them yet, I just wanna be prepared.'

'….uh-huh.'

'Plus, I can use them to scare Gazzy! Because whenever I say something, he's all like, 'Ohmygosh, stop lying!' 'cept, you know, he doesn't go all OMG since he's a guy and guys don't like going OMG which I don't really get because it's really fun to say, you know? Like, OMG, OMG, OMG-'

'What does this have to do with tampons, exactly?'

'-OMG, OM- What? Oh. SO whenever he starts being mean and stuff, I'll wave my tampons in his face and be all like, 'Don't MESS with me when I'm using THESE!!!' and he'll get really grossed out and leave me alone.'

'…Nudge?'

'Yeah?'

'The scary thing is, that would actually work….'

'I know, right? I only thought of it 'cause that time when Iggy blew up your favorite sneakers and you got really mad and started yelling at him – I don't blame you, by the way, those shoes, were, like, super-cute – he started sulking in his room and asked Fang how he could've fallen in love with a girl who was constantly PMSing, and Fang was all like, 'You get used to it.' And Gazzy was there and was all 'What's PMSing?' and Iggy and Fang went 'Uh…..we'll tell you when you're older, Gaz' and Gazzy went all 'EWWW, that must be girly stuff!!!' and ran away.'

'….-processes information- Wait, let me get this straight-'

'Go step-by-step, it makes life easier.'

'Um….okay? Well them, 1. Iggy said I was PMSing after I yelled at him for blowing up my last pair of good shoes…and they were cute, weren't they?'

'TOTALLY!!! …If that's one, then what's two?'

'2. Fang agreed that I was PMSing, and 3. Gazzy can be scared away by mentioning girly stuff.'

'Duh, that's why I'm borrowing your tampons!!!'

'…right. So, that means I'll have a good reason to yell at them…oh, IGGY!!!! FANG!!!!'

'But Fang said he loves you! Well, not directly, but you know, he's the father of your children!!!'

'…Nudge, sweetie, I'm not pregnant.'

'Oh, yeah….then he's the father of your future still-unborn children!!!'

'Well, that is a good point…hmm. How 'bout I yell at him for, say, 10-15 minutes, then let him watch while I yell at Iggy for the rest of the hour?'

'That's sounds great!!! Can I watch? …Wait, what are you yelling at them for?'

'Um…I know! Your favorite watch is missing, and we'll blame Iggy and Fang for that.'

'My favorite watch? You mean that pink one you got me for, like, ten dollars? The really cute one?'

'Yep. Now go hide it!'

'Aye-aye, cap'n!'

'OHHHHHH IGGY!!!!!!!! FAAAAAAAANG!!!!! WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUU???'

[somewhere by a tree]

'Iggy, Max is calling.'

'I know, man, I know.'

'…I'm scared.'

'Why?'

'…For the same reason you're trying to hide in the tree.'

'I'm not scared! It's just….'

'Just what?'

'Well, whenever Max uses that voice, she's gonna yell at us for an hour or so about something we didn't do…and then do evil, evil things and say we deserved it.'

'-snicker- By evil, evil things, are you talking about the time she dyed all your clothes pink and didn't tell you?'

'Shut up, Fang….I wore that to school!!!'

'…my point exactly.'

'So, are we gonna run away?'

'No.'

'What? Why not?'

'…because she yells at you more than she yells at me, and it's fun to watch. Come on, Ig. –starts pulling him out of the tree-'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! FANG'S GONE TO THE DARK SIDE!!! NOOOOOOO-'

'-is pulling Iggy across the lawn- …dude, there's a reason I wear black.'

'-OOOOO!!!!!! Wait, Fang are you serious?'

'-nods- Oh. I just nodded, Ig.'

'Holy shit, I'm surrounded by crazy people. I'm moving to Canada!!!! Wait, is this the doorway? NO! Wait! Don't take me to Max!!! She's gonna eat me!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!'

…….lol. By the way, Iggy was being dragged across the lawn, and he felt the doorway and stuff, so…yeah. Heheh, go Max! If she seems out-f-character, it's 'cause she's in her period. Personally, I think that Max would act like this if she was in her period and bored and not in danger…Damn, I got really off topic. Doesn't the summary say this is about the facts of life? Meh, oh well.

I was gonna end it here, but then I realized I'd left out Total!!! And Omega!!!! (Because if Eggs-chan regained his emotions, etc he wouldn't know a thing about the facts of life!!!!)

BTW, Omega is that stuff in eggs (I think), so I call him Eggs inside my head.