Okay, first of, I'm sorry to everyone who isn't liking Bella losing her virginity to Mike. I just want to explain. Its just Bella was really confused with her feelings, what with Edward and then dating Mike. And she does have a bit of a pride issue, she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't have feelings for Edward, of course we know differant. Once again, sorry. Bella won't be having sex with Mike again, don't worry, she'll come to her senses very soon!

Also, sorry it took longer than it usually does for me to update. But it is summer so you can't really blame me.

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I don't own anything except the plot in this.

BPOV

I lay awake in bed at two o' clock in the morning. I couldn't sleep. What had I done? How could I have done that? I started to realise the mistake I'd made in having sex with Mike. I'd never regretted anything more in my life.

I thought of what Renee would say to me if she were here. She'd probably be ashamed of me. She'd told me so many times not to rush into sex, and what had I done... I'd dated a boy for two weeks and had sex in a closet! That was the one thing I'd promised myself I would never be, a slut. Sure girls my age had sex all the time, but I wasn't like those other girls. I had always been the more mature girl. I couldn't deny that I'd enjoyed it at the time, but now I wished more than anything that I could change it.

I began to cry, knowing that I'd broke so many promises that I'd once made to myself. I hated myself so much. Of course I planned to sleep with Mike, eventually, but not after only two weeks! And worse, you did it in an attempt to take your mind of another guy... Yes that was the thing I felt most guilty about.

The reason I had done this to begin with was to stop thinking about Edward and the rest of his family. That fact made the whole thing a lot harder to deal with. Mike didn't deserve to have his virginity taken from him that way.

I felt worse as I realised that Mike would be expecting more next time I saw him. But I didn't want to have sex with him again, not for a long time. I groaned in frustration, how was I going to explain to him that I didn't want to sleep with him again? I hadn't been exactly reluctant today, so how could he possibly believe me if I told him I wanted to wait before doing it again. And even if he did accept it, knowing Mike he'd be asking more than often if I wanted to anyway. I wished so badly, for the hundredth time during the past fifteen hours, that I could go back in time and change what happened today.

But there was no taking it back now. My virginity was gone. I wrapped my arms around myself and curled into a small ball as I continued to cry.

I remembered Alice and Emmett's faces as they had passed me today, how sad and disappointed they had looked. I imagined how Edward's face would have looked as he realised what I had done and I cried harder. I'd hurt him in so many ways, rejected him so many times. He didn't deserve to go through so much pain. No one did.

I was startled when I heard a tap on my window. My thoughts immediately went to Edward. I felt excited thinking that he might have come to see me, and that frightened me. I shouldn't be feeling that way.

I crept up to my window and saw Alice's face. I opened the window for her, and oddly enough, I felt comforted by her presence. She landed in my room and spread her arms out for me.

"I saw you crying and thought you might want a hug" she said, smiling kindly at me.

I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her small frame. I just stood there and cried everything out into her shoulder as she soothed me. She eventually brought us over to sit on the bed, still rubbing small circles into my back.

"Oh, Bella" she sighed "Why did you do it? That's not like you"

"I k-know" I sobbed "I was j-just s-s-so confused... w-with everything... I didn't think... I j-just-"

"Shhh... its okay"

"I f-feel horrible. I wish I could take it back"

"I know, I know, Bella"

My sobs slowly turned into tiny sniffles. I looked up at her.

"What did Edward say?" I asked quietly, not really sure if I wanted to know.

She sighed and seemed reluctant to answer "I've never seen him like that. It was worse than when you first..."

I flinched at the reminder of what he was like when I first rejected him. I could only imagine what he must think of me now, yet he still had to love me. He had no choice but to love me even though he might be disgusted with me. No matter how he may despise me underneath, he was still forced to love me.

"Is he angry with me?" I thought I knew the answer to that.

"No!" she said as if it was obvious "He could never be angry at you or think badly of you!"

I looked confused. How could he not think I was a slut? How could he possibly not regret imprinting on me?

Alice saw my confused expression "He isn't angry with you. He is however extremely mad at Mike... he was using the walls as punchbags to stop from killing Mike"

"But... I was the one that dragged him into the closet"

"He knows that"

I was amazed. He still wasn't angry at me even though he knew it was me who started it? He was more angry with Mike than me? I had been so sure he would hate me.

"How can he not regret imprinting on me?" I had to ask.

"He could never do that. We can never regret anything when it comes to our imprints. To us, our imprints are like gods. Everything they do or say, even if sometimes those actions hurt us, they are of the up-most importance to us" she explained.

I shook my head. Any other guy would have stopped caring about me the second they found out, but not Edward. Then again, Edward wasn't a normal guy.

Alice examined my face. My eyes were probably all red and puffy, my nose felt a little stuffed up too.

"Are you all cried out? Or do you still need the shoulder?" she chuckled the last part.

I smiled at her "Yeah. I think I'm all done now. Thanks for being here"

"Not at all. You know, even though you're not with Edward, I think of you as my sister. We all think of you as our family"

I involuntary smiled at that knowledge, but my smile disappeared as I was gripped with my guilt.

"I know you don't feel like you need Edward in your life, but you really do, Bella"

I glared at her. How dare she say that! I don't need Edward! I have Mike. Is she really trying to convince me to give Edward another chance?! My anger rose when I realised that was why she came in the first place. I bet Edward was in on it too!

"Did Edward tell you to say that?" I continued to glare but she didn't flinch once, she still wore that calm smile.

She shook her head "No. I was simply stating the truth. And you'll see it soon, you'll see how much you want Edward"

I shook my head angrily and stood up.

"Get out" I hissed and pointed to the window.

As much as I was grateful to her for comforting me, I couldn't help my anger. She looked unsurprised by my anger and took a graceful leap from the window.

EPOV

I growled and roared loudly as I ripped the cushions. Feathers flew everywhere. I went over to the wall and punched into it until it made a giant hole in the wall. But it wasn't enough. I needed so badly to continue hitting things to take out my despair and my anger.

I gripped onto my hair and started pulling at it in frustration as I continued to growl. I looked out into the dark night and saw the trees in the dark forest. Perfect. I don't think Esme has any special trees...

I ran from the house and took off into the forest. I didn't take a moments hesitation before I resumed from where I started.

There were barely any trees left standing in that area by the time I was done. Now all that was left to do now was allow my sobs to take over my body, they did so almost at once. Just like before, I hunched over in my pain and roared with everything I had. This pain was worse than any pain I had faced before now. The images I wanted so desperately to forget would not stop creeping back into my mind.

I sat down on one of the many trees I had knocked down, my arms wrapped around my middle as I sobbed. One thing was certain to me, I would not be able to go to school tomorrow and see Bella with Mike, not after today. I over-looked my options- first option, flee away from Forks and Bella. I shuddered at that option. The pain I was faced with now suddenly seemed small compared to the pain I would feel it I did that. Any length of distance between me and Bella was too much to bear, any permanent separation from her I was positive I would be unable to live through.

So that option was out of the question. Option two, kill Mike and go along with the plans of my darker mind to make Bella mine. No, no, NO!!! I quickly dislodged that train of thoughts, but underneath I couldn't deny how very appealing that option was.

Option three, just never go back to Forks high school. That seemed to be the best option. I could still watch Bella at a distance whenever I could, when she wasn't with Mike. She would simply think I'd left school. She would probably be relieved to not have to bear the guilt anymore, I was sure she would not miss me.

I sat there for a long time trying to calm myself, because I was still very close to finding Mike and tearing him into shreds.

Just then, Alice appeared in front of me with a sympathetic look on her face. But I could see that she was hiding something from me. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What, Alice?" I asked.

She shook her head. She was smiling now, but her control was slipping.

"Tell me!" I yelled this.

She debated, then with a resigned sigh she sat beside me on the tree.

She showed me the conversation she had with Bella just minutes ago. What? Bella crying? The sight of her tears made my heart ache with need to comfort her. But why was she crying?

(Alice's mind)

"I was j-just s-s-so confused... w-with everything... I didn't think... I j-just..." Bella sobbed

"I know, I know" Alice comforted

"I f-feel horrible. I wish I could take it back"

I was stunned with what I saw in Alice's mind. Bella wishes she hadn't had sex with Mike? She wishes she could take it back? But I was sure I'd seen in Mike's mind earlier that it was Bella who had insisted they have sex, then why did she regret it? Even more so, why did she do it to begin with? What could have possibly confused her mind enough to do something like that?

I thought back to anything what could have happened today which would have made Bella do that. Everything had been fine with Mike(my chest automatically throbbed when I though of them together) up until lunch it seemed. Then I remembered the look me and Bella had exchanged in the cafeteria today, just before... So that was why!

I realised that must have been what caused her to act that way. My pain I had before actually doubled in its strength as I knew it was my fault. I had caused her to lose her virginity. I by my own accord had inflicted this pain upon myself.

"She wants you too, you know" Alice said.

I whipped my head around to stare at her in shock. Bella wanted me?

Vision

Bella and myself lying next to each other in the middle of the meadow, just staring into each other's eyes with love and adoration.

"I love you" I whispered

"I love you, too" Bella whispered back.

End of vision

Could such good fortune ever be bestowed upon my existence? Was it possible that so much happiness would ever find me? I didn't think it could ever be earthly plausible that what I had just been shown would ever become a reality, but just watching the scene play in my mind filled me with so much warmth and joy and hope that it would have left me breathless, if it were possible.

"What was that Alice?" I asked in an awed whisper

"A future which is certain to happen" she replied "There is no doubt that it will happen"

Certain? No doubt whatsoever?

"But Bella said-" I was unable to say the words without pain strangling my throat.

"I know she did. She has too much pride. She's trying to deny her feelings, but in the end she won't be able to"

"What about Mike" I spoke his name like a filthy word.

"Oh, that relationship isn't going to last" she said smugly.

BPOV

"But... yesterday-" Mike said, still confused.

I sighed in annoyance.

"Look, Mike" I started "I'm not saying it wasn't good, I'm just saying that we shouldn't have rushed things like that. So... I want to wait before we do it again"

Mike looked frustrated for a few minutes. We'd been having this conversation since I arrived at school, and the bell was going to ring in two minutes. Then again, I could hardly blame him for being all confused after I practically threw us both into the janitor's closet in my desperation the other day. Finally he composed his features into a resigned smile and he nodded, but I knew him all too well to think that he would give up that easily. I was right.

He continualy sent suggestions at me all week at in and outside school. Passing me notes, drawing us closer to the janitor's closet at all costs, kissing me at whatever chance he got, stroking his hand up and down my thigh, going over to his place without any intention of doing homework. I was getting a little frustrated with his attempts to seduce me into having sex with him again. His attempts were in vain. My mind was else where.

When I entered biology that first time I was still angry after the previous nights events with Alice. I was still assuming that Edward had told Alice to convince me into giving him another chance, but he never showed up for class. I didn't want to admit that I had waited for him all through the hour, but in truth I had. I had never longed for his presence so badly, despite my previous anger towards him. The next day I was anxious to see him, but was filled with disapointment when he didn't show again.

All week I waited for him to make an appearance at school, but he never did. I was getting worried.

Why are you worried? I thought angrily to myself as I lay on my bed. I looked over at my alarm clock. It was half past six. Charlie had called about an hour ago saying he wouldn't be back until at least eight. I'd had dinner and done my homework, now there was nothing to do but be left to my thought of the Cullens, one Cullen in particular. I groaned in frustration.

I guess I could call Mike for a bit. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Mike's number. After ten rings he still hadn't picked up. That was strange, whenever I called him he always picked up during the first three rings at least. I let it ring another eight times then hung up. I was left with my previous thoughts once again. Well why not go and see him? He comes and goes here after all, so theres no reason why you shouldn't.

I went downstairs and grabbed my jacket and keys. Mike's place wasn't that far from my place so I was soon there. I knocked on the door, no one answered. I stood outside for several moments before I pulled the handle to see if it was locked. It wasn't locked so I just stepped in. There were sounds coming from upstairs. It sounded like... moaning.

I hurried up the stairs and to the door which I knew to be Mike's bedroom. The moans were louder now. I slammed the door open and was shocked with what I saw.

Both Mike and Jessica were naked on the bed and Jessica was giving Mike a blow job. They hadn't even noticed my entrance, my eyes filled with tears.

"Mike!"

That made them look up. Jessica's face looked smug.

"Bella! I'm really sorry!" Mike said desperatly.

"What's going on?!" I yelled.

Mike was about to beg again when Jessica spoke, smirk still in place.

"Mike and I are going out now, he wants me"

I was surprised when Mike contradicted what she said.

"What! No, Bella we're not! Honest! This was the first and last time, I promise!" Mike pleaded.

Jessica's face became mortified "What! I thought you would dump her!"

"Not for you, slut!" Mike yelled at her angrily as he shoved her off the bed.

But I didn't care if it was me Mike wanted. He'd cheated on me and I could never trust him again. I didn't listen to his exscuses anymore, I went away from Mike's, tears still streaming down my face, and went to my truck. Mike had wrapped a towel around him now and was yelling after me to come back, but I didn't look at him once as I drove away. I didn't drive home, I wanted to cry. I parked up next to the park. I walked over to a wooden bench and sat down, letting my tears run loose.

I'd really thought Mike liked me, enough that I'd be enough for him anyway, but obviously I'd been wrong.

"Bella!" I heard a voice call.

I would have expected it to be Mike, but it wasn't his voice. It was that beautiful velvet voice I felt as if I'd known my whole life. I looked up and was met with two golden eyes.

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