-Chapter 24-

It was almost a week before Ginny came out of her room for something other than using the bathroom. After the interrogation she had barred herself in her room, not letting anyone in. Although the trays Hermione would take her at meal time would always appear outside of the door empty the glimpses Hermione would catch of the redhead when she waited outside the door indicated Ginny was eating very little, if any, of it.

Saturday morning Hermione took up Ginny's breakfast tray and knocked at the door. To Hermione's surprise Ginny opened the door before Hermione could set the tray down on the ground. It almost ended up on the floor anyways, the sight of Ginny almost caused Hermione to lose her grip on the tray. Ginny looked like she hadn't slept at all, the dark circles under her eyes could easily be mistaken as bruises, her eyes didn't shine and her muscular figure had lost quite a bit of tone in the short amount of time Hermione figured Ginny hadn't eaten.

"Hi 'Mione," Ginny mumbled.

"When was the last time you ate, Ginny?" Hermione said as she pushed her way into Ginny's room and put the tray on the desk.

"My trays come out empty."

"That doesn't mean anything and you know it. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I just haven't felt like eating much. I have eaten, I promise."

"And sleep? I hear you pacing outside on the landing at ungodly hours of the morning." Hermione felt her eyes burning, wanting to well up with tears but she wouldn't let them.

"Some."

"Have some breakfast, okay?"

Ginny nodded and sat down at the desk and ate while Hermione straightened up the bedroom. She changed the sheets and gathered up the random piles of dirty laundry.

"I'm finished," Ginny said as she pushed the half empty tray away from her. "I haven't eaten that much at once in a while so don't push me to eat anymore, okay?"

"Okay love. Do you want to come downstairs?"

"Not really. Would you stay up here though? Maybe we could lay down for a bit?"

Hermione dropped the laundry in the corner and nodded. Ginny curled up on the bed and Hermione followed. They faced each other and Hermione wrapped her arms around Ginny's waist.

"Can I ask you something, 'Mione?"

"Anything, sweetheart, you know that."

"What's it feel like…how do you know you love me?"

"Well…I can't picture my life without you, for starters. You're really good with Lennox…"

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean…what do you feel?"

"I smile when I think of you, my heart flutters when you kiss me or touch me…it's something I don't feel when I'm with anyone else. It's really hard to explain…why, Gin?" Hermione looked at Ginny, almost terrified.

"I don't know…I don't…I don't feel…I'm not saying I don't love you, 'Mione. I know I do…I know it is somewhere inside me…"

Hermione held Ginny tighter but the redhead whimpered and pulled away, rubbing her chest.

"Did you use the Bruise-Healing Paste I sent up?"

"Yeah, it worked on some of them. Others not so much. Think maybe you could try?" Ginny sat up and pulled her t-shirt off.

Hermione tried not to let her eyes linger too long at the bruises that still remained or the ridges that were Ginny's ribs sticking out. The older witch nodded and retrieved the jar of paste from Ginny's bedside cabinet. Ginny lay down on her back and Hermione started dabbing the paste on the bruises and gently rubbing it in. She let her lips graze one particularly deep purple bruise before applying the paste.

Ginny whimpered and a tear slid down her cheek. She knew it was Hermione, she could see her and smell her and her touch was light and innocent…but something in her head cried for it to stop. Ginny felt weak for allowing the thought to penetrate her mind, she knew it would though. Every time she tried to think about being with Hermione the flashes of the horror she twice encountered would interrupt her attempts at having happy thoughts.

"Sorry Gin…I couldn't help it…" Hermione said as her fingers massaged the paste into Ginny's skin.

"It's okay…j-just ask me first next time."

Hermione finished with the paste and got Ginny a clean t-shirt from her chest of drawers. The redhead put it on and the material clung to the wet paste. Hermione sat back on the bed with her fiancée and tried to think of what to say.

"H-how are you feeling?" Hermione asked awkwardly.

"I'm not."

"Not what?"

"Feeling. I'm not feeling anything."

"Ginny that's impossible, you have to…"

"No, it really is possible, trust me."

"How is it possible to feel absolutely nothing? Not tired? Not sore? Not angry? Nothing?"

"It's easier than you think when everything you thought you knew about yourself was torn apart in a matter of about thirty cumulative minutes." Ginny stood up and started pacing the floor with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"You know what my last thought was before…before what happened? It was you. I thought to myself that I wouldn't let any of this bother me because at least it was me and not you. I promised myself that after I got out of that wretched place, no matter how long I was there or how long I had to go through any of it, that I wouldn't ever let it bother me. I wouldn't think on it again, I would just come back to you and we'd get on with our lives."

"I…I don't understand how that changes who you are, Ginny. You-you're brave and courageous and…"

"No I'm not! I'm weak! Don't you get it?! I'm a bloody weak fucking coward. I am letting it get to me, every time I try to think about the future and I think about you these images of him just push their way into my brain. I can't control it, I don't know why it happens I just know that I am so weak that I can't even fucking get over a memory!"

"Ginny no one expects you to get over this in just a few days!" Hermione stood up and stopped Ginny from pacing. She cupped the redhead's face in her hands. She could tell Ginny was struggling not to cry. "You-are-not-a-bloody-coward," she spelled out. "It would concern me more if you did get over this in a few days than if you didn't, love."

"It just means I'm weak."

"No, it means that you have a heart. You say you can't feel anything, it's a lie. You just won't allow yourself to."

"You don't know shit about what I can and can't do!" Ginny pulled away from Hermione and continued pacing the room. "I can't feel anything, Hermione. I have tried! I've tried thinking about you and Lennox and the future and anything to try to feel some sort of something for you."

"What do you think of Rabastan? Of what he did to you?" Hermione almost hated herself for what she was doing. She knew from experience though that burying things deep inside and not letting them surface would only make things worse and she wasn't about to let Ginny go through the emotional trauma all over again someday when something reminded her of it.

"Get out of my room," Ginny said. She stopped pacing and balled her fists up at her sides and stared at the wall.

"No."

"Get the fuck out of my room right now, Hermione."

"No."

"Hermione…I am warning you. Get out, now."

"What are you going to do about it? You want to feel something? Then deal with this and stop trying to push me…push it away."

"I'll deal with it however I damn well please!"

"Starving yourself and not sleeping isn't exactly the best way to do that, Ginny!"

"Thanks for that, Miss Know-It-All! Are you an expert in 'psycho-collegry' or whatever the hell that Muggle bullshit is about?"

"Maybe you are a coward, then! Barring yourself up here, not wanting to face a problem head on! I must admit, that is a pretty weak thing to do."

"Get out, Hermione."

"If you want to feel happy then you're going to have to get through this first, not just bury it." Hermione put a hand on Ginny's shoulder and the redhead whipped around, her face a deeper red than her hair.

"So what you're saying is that you want me to be miserable? After everything I just went through you really want me to be more miserable?"

"If that's what it takes for you to get through this then yes."

"You really are a sadistic bitch, you know that?"

"At least being pissed off at me is better than feeling nothing."

"You'd be pissed off if you were being told by your fiancée that she wants you to be miserable!"

"Already there, Gin!"

"Oh so this is about you now, is it? Just…get out. Get the fuck out and don't bother coming back!" Ginny pulled the silver ring off of her finger, turned around, and slammed it down on the desk. The stone broke out of its setting and bounced off the desk and rolled around on the floor. Ginny turned back around, her eyes turning even redder. "Are you fucking deaf? Get-the-fuck-out!"

"You angry at Rabastan for any of this yet or are you just going to keep yelling at me?"

"Stop talking about him you fucking Mudblood!"

Hermione gasped and her jaw dropped. "What...what did you just...No! I don't care what the hell you say to me right now Ginny. This is about you. You can't do this! Rabastan Lestrange took from you a lot that you're never going to get back but one thing I will not allow him to do to you is make you afraid of feeling anything!""

"What the fuck does it take to get you out of here!?"

It had been a while since Hermione had felt the sharp pain of the palm of someone's hand making quick contact with her cheek. She brought her fingers up to her cheek, the skin was hot to the touch. Her momentary shock was broken by the repeating sound of Ginny's fist making contact with the solid wood bedroom door and then the sobs of the redhead as she collapsed to the floor holding her hand and swearing and crying.

Hermione knelt down behind Ginny and put a hand on the hysterical redhead's shoulder. Ginny cried harder. Hermione sat in the floor and wrapped her arms around Ginny and sat silently. She didn't know how much time passed, she guessed it was at least an hour but when it was over with Ginny had run out of tears. Her face was red, her eyes swollen. Ginny was exhausted, she lay back against Hermione who hadn't once moved. Ginny let out an occasional sob, Hermione would simply squeeze her tighter. She summoned a handkerchief from the bedside cabinet and gently cleaned off Ginny's face.

"I'm…so…sorry…Hermione…" Ginny managed to get out between sniffles and sobs.

"I'm sorry too, baby." Hermione moved one of her arms to hold on to Ginny's bruised and bloody hand. The redhead winced in pain. "I should've used spongify on that door."

Ginny turned around and brushed her other hand across Hermione's cheek which was now a shade of bright pink. "I d-didn't m-mean to..."

"We'll talk about it later."

"N-never again. I p-promise."

"We'll worry about it later. Right now I think we need to see what your mum can do with your hand."

Ginny nodded and Hermione stood up. She pulled Ginny up with her. Their faces were only centimeters apart. Before Hermione could think anymore about boundaries and which lines she might cross she felt Ginny's lips against hers for a brief moment before the redhead walked to her bed and sat down. Without a word Hermione went downstairs and fetched Molly to take a look at Ginny's hand.

Molly came up to Ginny's room with her wand, a bowl, bandages, and a bottle of Murtlap Essence. She held out Ginny's hand and aimed her wand at the bloody mess.

"Episkey," she said. Ginny jumped and whimpered when she felt the bones she had broken snap back into place. The bruises lightened a bit and the bleeding slowed. Molly poured some of the Murtlap Essence into a bowl and Ginny soaked her hand while Molly gathered the pile of dirty laundry Hermione had dropped in the floor.

"Thanks Mum," Ginny mumbled.

Molly patted Ginny on the head and smiled. "Would you like to join us for lunch today, dear?"

"I don't know. Who will be here?"

"Just the four of us and Ron, he'll be passing through on his way to the stadium for this afternoon's match."

"Okay. I-I'll come down."

"I'll set you a place then. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes, come down when you're ready."

Hermione and Ginny nodded and Molly left the room with the pile of laundry. Hermione sat next to Ginny on the bed.

"I hate him, 'Mione. I hate him for what he did…not just to me but to all the girls he did that to. I hate him for making me hate myself."

Hermione nodded and wrapped an arm around Ginny's back. "He can't hurt anyone anymore."

"Wh-what exactly did you do to him?"

"Sectumsempra."

"Did he suffer?"

"From what I saw before we disapparated, yes."

"Good."