AN- I am so bored right now. Last chapter, I promise. I just couldn't leave you all hanging there. I want Chinese food.

After we were all done with our buttsex, Neville walked into the room. We got down on the floor and bowed, because Neville is our master.

He's just awesome like that.

"Hey guys. I've decided that being goffik is just really pointless and silly." Neville said. "Since I am your master, I demand that you guys all wear Hollister and American Eagle and such. Also, you have to burn all your clothes from Hot Topic."

We gasped.

…The next day.

We all had decided not to ditch our love of being goffik and obey Neville. If he wanted to be some stupid prep, okay. But he couldn't make the rest of us. I was wearing something that the good people from Hot Topic called a Black And Purple Glitter Gothic Sparkle Dress. I wore black open-toed wedges, and I pulled my wavy black hair (that had red, blue, and purple streaks in it) to the side. I pulled on my plain black fingerless gloves after I put on my makeup (the usual winged tipped eyeliner, white foundation, and dark red lipstick), and I was ready.

I saw Neville in the Slytherin common room. He was wearing preppy clothes, so I went back upstairs since preps are gross.

"Hey," I said to Gianna, as I walked back into our room.

"Why are you back here?"

"Master is being a prep right now."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll get over this preppy phase soon." Said B'loody Mary, who had just woken up. We all nodded.

That morning while all the other Slytherins were eating our Count Chocula cereal with blood, Neville came up. We all bowed.

"Why are you all wearing your emo clothes?" he demanded.

"Master, we- we thought this was just some silly preppy phase you were going through." Ron said.

"Be quiet, orange monkey. Go stand in that corner."

"But I'm not orange anymore! I've dyed my hair black!"

"In the corner!"

Ron nodded and headed to his corner, leaving Neville to glare at the rest of us.

"If you guys don't want to be preppy like me, then that's okay," he said.

I was surprised, and so were my gothic friends.

"Why?"

"Oh, just 'cause. I've got a surprise for you."

We all squealed with happiness. Unintelligent people like us often liked surprises, as we thought that all surprises were nice ones.

… That night.

Neville was angry. Those rotten kids had deliberately disobeyed him. So what if he used to be a goth too? He was their master, and he told them to change. He'd give them one last chance… He got out his Hannah Montana CD and but it in the Slytherin common room's stereo. A horrible voice began singing,

"You get the beeeeeeeeest of both worlds…"

Moon came down stairs, saying, "Master! What is that horrid noise?"

Neville knew that if Moon Sue didn't like Hannah, she could never be a good prep. He took out his wand, and conjured up a guillotine.

"Go and get all your goffik friends, Moon."

A few hours later, Neville headed out from the castle. He wiped a drop of sweat from his brow. It was nearly dawn. He trudged up to the pumpkin patch, where Hagrid was tending to Buckbeak. Neville suddenly though of how hungry he was, and how delicious hippogriff meat was.

"Go in your hut, fatty. Go in your little fatty hut." Hagrid bowed to his master and went.

And so Neville ate Buckbeak, and it was delicious. This is where we finally end the epic tale of various Mary Sues, and trolling.

Peace out.