A/N: this will be my last offering on this story for a while as I have exams coming up and after that, I go on holiday. I don't have internet access at home, sorry. So this is a gift from me to you, one of my favourite arcs KomuVitanD (didn't quite manage to do it justice but I tried) and then the answers to Allen's questions. I will however write and post when I get back. I have another 14th fic called Ohayou that deals with the fight in the orphanage from the fourteenth's point of view. This is still a bit away but I will be working through the holidays so I may actually reach that chapter so I would like to know, can I put in my one shot as a chapter in this story? If you don't like the idea tell me what you would like to see changed and I'll see what I can do. In addition, do you want to see the whole Timothy arc (as in from when they are searching for G) or just the Ohayou bit?

Disclaimer: I own -man, the sky is green with mauve polka dots and earth is completely uninhabitable. If you believe me, I am very impressed.

Answers

"I… huff… can't move…"

No what was wrong, I felt nothing wrong with his body, a little fatigue maybe, no more. Was I doing something to him, something that I had not foreseen? This was catastrophic, it could cost him his life! Had the stress on his body been to much? He needed to live and I needed a functioning body to fight the Earl! I quickly examined him externally through the reflections from the belts in the room. He did look a little worse for the wear; maybe mentally, he thought he could go no further? I hoped that was it.

"hah… Your bark is worse than your bite beansprout."

You also speak far to more loudly than necessary pup!

"No surprises here, then, Kanda… I guess I really can't hope to match you with a sword"

Now I knew something was wrong. I could feel his mind stirring, but what could he do if he could no longer move?

"Damn right you can't. Now shall I finish up by giving you a crew cut?"

I will shave you bald if you try

How I wished I could make myself heard.

"Now, now… I don't seem to recall EVER SAYING I'D LOST!"

I felt us jerk up and for a second my view of the world was lost in a swirl of motion. His opponent seemed outraged, I was just relieved. An excellent strategy though he must be careful who he uses it on, for those who like to gloat it is ideal but in a battle too many will go straight for the kill. I became more and more amused at their tom follery as what had began as a sword match turned into a fist fight.

"Hey cut that out" came a call from the side.

We crawled over to the side, I could feel multiple bruises throbbing. He would have quite a few lumps on his head I'm sure but I took comfort in the fact that the other one would too. In my appraisal of the situation I missed the reason for us ending our fight.

"Methure-menth?" my nephew queried.

It took all my self control to keep my laughter contained. Mayhap I should have laughed. I felt a sense of gloom settle in and, in a fashion I'd become use to, my emotions shifted a little to match my host's.

Come Nephew, why the long face? Smile a little, while you have time.

I could not reach him, my sympathy went unnoticed and I ached for this poor child. Part of me hoped as the boy who'd come for measurements rubbed his head and gave an affectionate smile. Doing what I wished I could. The mood however was ruined as the nurse appeared.

I warned you that you shouldn't leave the infirmary without permission Bephew.

***

I listened, intently, to the analysis of Lenalee Lee's innocence. Not only for information on how it had changed but to learn how innocence worked, knowledge that had always been denied to me. I carefully stored it in the back of my mind. I would need that knowledge one day for when I had innocence of my own, if that was possible and for the fight I would one day need to fight. In the safety of my nephew's head, I asked the question that the rest seemed afraid to.

Are you the heart child? Or were you affected by being in close proximity with the true heart? I suggest you find out, it will be life or death one day.

He delved deeper into the mystery surrounding this new innocence. It seemed a little blood would be enough to restore the weapon. Fascinating and how convenient,, the only problem would be if it got damaged frequently in a fight and her body could not replace the blood it lost fast enough. The rest it seemed not to agree with my analysis of the situation. In fact the idea seemed to be quite creepy to them. Crystallisation type huh? An interesting choice of name. I hope that is all it is, for your sake nephew, I hope it is just an evolution. I do not wish to harm what you love, for your sake, a gift, for carrying me and for being my brother's child. If she is the heart, I don't know, I honestly don't because I will do what I need to, to see the Earl fall.

***

It was 2, in the morning. I was in a foul mood, He needed his sleep, they had no right to keep him up this late. I eased him off to sleep, glaring round the room to see if anyone dared object. Too late I noticed that his head rested against a pile of books … with a potion on top! Oh no.

Nephew, wake up! Nephew! Nephew! Nephew!

Timcampy tried to help, sweet as always and that man, the one who felt the need to observe Allen stood and watched.

"No! Wake up Allen!" finally someone tried to help.

It was too late, gravity took over and she was one of the things that always worked, more powerful than any human. With a crash, she won and for an instant smoke clouded his face. I did not feel anything strange happening and, curse this smoke; I could not see anything his reflection was blocked. He and Timcampy emerged, not slowly but like a bullet out a gun. Quickly I tried to assess the damage. It was just our hair, it had grown. I breathed a silent sigh of relief, it could have been much worse. Off task I wondered why they did not give little Lenalee some hair tonic, seeing as everyone had seemed so upset at the loss of her hair. Wait a second, Timcampy could grow hair? I did not remember something like that existing within him. then again based on what I had seen Earlier, these potions could go against the fundamental reality of something. Perhaps I should not be as surprise das I was.

"Don't worry it'll go back to normal after awhile"

So that's why they had not given her any.

Half heartedly, we went to sit with the rest of the infected. The shy woman organised our hair.

"At least we didn't end up with anything too weird."

I heartily agree nephew though what is weird for you and what is weird for Timcampy may be a totally different thing.

I glanced around at the rest of the victims. We were the only tall ones. Ha ha take that I thought at the boy who insisted on calling us beansprout. They were all child height, not that a potion had done that to Bookman, he was just small. Poor Bookman had lost his hair, it was now replaced by rabbit ears. The science department ignored all the accusations shouted their way and continued with packing.

"Link! Why didn't you wake me up?"

Yes I'd like to know that too.

"That isn't part of my job"

Oh please. I felt the slide that occurred when Allen slid from the present to the past. For once I was pretty sure I could guess what he was remembering even though I could not see it. this move, it was unsettling and yet not I sensed. He'd been used to it with Mana and Cross, moving homes frequently.

Since my brother's side, have you really considered anywhere a home nephew?

Silence, my usual response, sometimes I wished we could have a conversation. What would he think of me? Could we be friends? Then again how could someone love what ate them from the inside out? I chuckled at the irony of my situation, instead of him talking to a voice in his head, the voice spoke to him. would that make him insane or me? the memory changed again, this too I knew but it concerned me. since it was an indirect connection it was like trying stare through muddy water, instead I called up my own memory of the same occasion. Searching for what had struck him in it.

"Allen-kun, you know what the power of the musician is, don't you? General Cross referred to it as a song, as long as they know that song anybody can manipulate the ark."

Not quite, I had thought. You needed the gift, a connection, my gift, my Noah genes, my memories. Well there were others but all belonged to my family and I could not see them willingly giving up that ability so for now that was the limit. I hoped they were not interested in it for the reasons I thought they were. They were. He could teach it too them, it wouldn't make a difference, they did not have the gift, nothing would happen. I had felt melancholy fill him then. Heard his friends try to comfort him, truly when they were like this I regretted what I one day might have to do to them. It was a lie, a sweet lie, but a lie none the less. He knew it as well as I, because he knew the song he was suspected and nothing would change that. But that was not what bothered him. now I knew what he sought in that memory, answers that it could not give him. the loss of what was his and Mana's.

"No it's not that. It's just… it feels… wrong"

It does, does it not nephew. Our Mana should never have been brought into a war like this one, it was not right.

Written in a code that Mana and I made… a song that I have no memory of…

You cannot tell me alone nephew, they will desire an explanation, but they cannot understand, not like I do. So what will you say?
"Having something like this in me, something that I cannot begin to understand…"

Something of which you have still not fully grasped, not the magnitude, for it is more than just a simple song and gift. More than a perversion of a memory. It is me.

"It just feels wrong."

Right now I find ,myself unable to talk about this to any of my comrades.

Of course you cannot, who among thtem would understand?

Master!

He cannot hear you, only I can and I can do nothing to help.

I want him to tell me that it's all okay… that I can keep on trusting would be enough… if I could just know that, I could give it my all…

Allen

Then I felt him fall into another memory, one that I could see. One more poignant than so many others so now, enhanced by pain and confusion I could visit a place that should have been locked to me.

"Allen…I…love you"

My brother at least you could look after this child, you did not have to see him die, like you had to see me. I took some of you with me didn't I? At least you gave him that nephew, at least he felt some worth than, at the end of his life. So I echoed the words of his memory, that young Allen thought now.

I love you

He gazed at me then, straight into the mirror but I turned my head, unable to make eye contact. Shame and sorrow filled me in equal parts. I wished for a distraction, something, anything to take those eyes with me. eyes filled with a need for a reassurance I could not honestly give though I wished to with all my heart.

They say to be careful what you wish for. Within seconds, someone else fell victim to the science team's hard work. We spun to take stock of the situation and maybe to help. I laughed but I pitied the Bookman, caught a second time. He and Miss Lee talking like cats. If nothing else I never felt the lull here that I felt when I had stayed with the Earl, the easy going afternoons, waiting for him to have something for me to do or something to happen. We quickly restrained a young woman who seemed to be at fault, the one who'd done our hair. She was intent on becoming a cat herself as a form of penance. Miranda I think her name was.

"I hope you don't have anything worse hanging around now, do you?

Nephew you sound positively fearsome.

"Oh no, don't forget it's us who makes these things"

And this was supposed to reassure us? I listened as the Australian man continued.

"We certainly wouldn't make anything like that…"

Like what?

"Yeah because this isn't bad enough already."

I was inclined to agree with what I know thought of as the Japanese boy-child. Well what else could I call him? he was half his normal size, but cats and bunnies, growth and shrinking, I failed to think of what could be much worse. Possibly other things that would not wear off?

The measurements boy added his penny's worth. "Yeah we'd definitely never make anything as nasty as the supervisor…"

The supervisor as in Komui. I was surprised, aside from the sister complex I'd heard so much about, the man seemed relatively harmless.

"oh really"

A shiver found its way down the memory of my spine. Allen was capable of being terrifying when it pleased him, did he know something about this Supervisor that I did not? The discussion didn't have the time to continue much further. Suddenly the lights went out and a noise permeated the room.

"hihihihihihihihi"

What on earth…? In all my time I had not heard anything quite like that and trust me living with Akuma can introduce you to some interesting noises.

"What's that"

I'd like to know that too nephew.

Part of me noted that my habit of addressing my nephew directly when I knew fair and full well that he could not here me was becoming worse. I would have trouble should he ever reach a stage when he could, then again maybe it would maybe make life more interesting for both he and me.

"A voice?" came a voice from below him, I assumed that made it one of the shrunken boys, probably the red head, the tone was not the samurai's tone.

"A-a-a- ghost?" this from the nervous Miranda.

"No way"

You sound convinced I commented dryly as Allen and the red head spoke.

"It's gotta be Komui messing with us."

To see cynicism from one who looked so young was unsettling to say the least. Apparently, there was something that I did not know about Komui. Was he a sadist, but then why leave his sister out of the look if he was such a sister complex?

"Wait. something is strange, I can't tell where this voice is coming from."

No none of us good, but from what I had picked up this blind man head what we could not, so maybe it would be better to heed him.

"THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE SUPERVISOR!!"

"SUPERVISOR WE ARE BUSY IN HERE YOU KNOW!!"

"TRY DOING YOUR JOB CURLY!!"

"SHH!!"

Yes be quiet, if he can hear so well you will benefit from his knowledge. Not only have you clEarly marked your positions with the amount of noise you are making but you have also effectively disabled your only means of garnering information.

"I hear another noise besides just the voice! It's coming closer…!"

I tensed my muscles and shifted into a defensive position, then cursed as I remembered that this body was not my own and as such I was stuck. The noise continued surrounding us as the door opened. The matron walked in but I was sure that something was wrong but I was unsure, there was only enough light for very dim reflections. I debated watching from Allen's eyes, I did not like this blindness of mine. Something bit us, hard on the innocence arm. The matron? What was this, it was unprecedented. I wanted to snap back at the group behind us that yes Allen had been cleared to leave the infirmary but another worry overtook that one.

Nephew! Tell your stupid friend not to go so close to her! She can still bite they've only held her arms!

Again I was too late. The urge claimed the nervous girl too and she bit the blind boy. He grabbed the Japanese boy-child and hauled him up by his arm. What was this? A fast acting rabies that had enhanced and changed symptoms? From my many vantage points, even in this light I saw them spread this infection, until only a tiny group remained. They pulled back, then they noticed what entered through the door. The matron was not the beginning of the infection it seemed. Instead she was one of many.

Move! Attack them fools, they are not themselves and they will change you too if you give them the opportunity.

They may not have been able to hear my words but they arrived at the same conclusion themselves. I panicked as my sight was cut by people piling atop of us. I caught glimpses here and there from button holes, what to do? My nephew was more resourceful than I gave him credit for; he activated his innocence and used it to remove them.

"I'm really sorry! I tried my best not to hurt you."

Memo to me, teach Allen not to be sympathetic in a fight. Now run!

As we fled my vision became a blur till we finally stopped and hid glass panels. Holding it closed even after they'd passed.

"What's wrong with those guys?"

"They're swarming and all."

"Fast too."

"Could it be another attack from the enemy?"

No. Trust me you do not threaten the Earl so much as you believe and even if you did he'd never sink this low.

"No"

"How should we put this?"

"I get the feeling it has something to do with our resident curly hair."

A new voice joined the conversation, one that struck me as familiar.

"if you get bitten, the infection will spread from you r wound, so be careful."

I thought as much. What was the infection though? How did it mutate and spread. I had never encountered an illness with symptoms quite like it before. I wondered where it had been contracted from.

"Infection?"

Nor had I seen one that spread so fast, with the possibly exception of the Akuma's blood virus. I couldn't be quite sure, I'd need to find a way to do tests, I probably wouldn't but-

"How do you know that's the case…"

Wait a second, that's right how would he know with complete certainty? Certainly, one could assume but the speaker spoke without doubts. I looked up for him and saw his face a second before he answered.

"Because I created the virus."

Get him.

***

I don't know quite what happened only that nEarly everyone landed up chained to the wall, everyone except Komui that is. I didn't think that the robot had been quite that strong, maybe they had been unwilling to harm a friend? Or maybe I thought too much of them. The one member of the science team claimed that because it was what he did for a living was why the suspected him I did not agree.

He admitted to it, this is not suspicion it is knowledge! And don't you act indignant you deserve everything that is coming to you.

His sister tried to help, a bad idea in retrospect. He got even worse. Well what did he expect if he and his team left strange potions lying around? Eventually something would happen to her. He could point that Komurin X elsewhere. Finally, we got down to discussing a plan of action. I was quite shocked to find that the problem had been among the things that had been confiscated. KomuVitanD I could understand why from the explanation of what it was:

"It's a prescription that cures away all your tiredness so that you can continue working, you said. It's so powerful that it cures away all your logic and reason too, you said. It was a completely useless treatment for overtime zombies."

I wandered what would happen if you got that stuff into an akuma? Beside the point. What would we do know and why didn't they properly seal a problem like that. If in taking away a problem you would be careless with it yourself, it would be better left in the maker's hands. Something else was bothering me, Allen had been bitten so why did he remain unaffected? Was it me, or did his arm just slow the infection? Was he now a ticking time bomb? Komui went on to explain how the infection could be stopped; we just needed to get our hands on the antibody.

"Gentlemen find the source as soon as possible, so that we can continue our moving preparations."

He didn't create an antibody? For something like this, he made no cure?! Did he not realise that in trying to get a sample from the source we would probably get bitten? Actually how did he propose we found the source out of the few hundred zombies milling around? Try each one? For once, my nephew's keeper was not angering me, in fact he was doing the exact opposite, writing a report on the situation that named the main culprit. Unfortunately the culprit's Komurin was doing its utmost to destroy the evidence.

"How do you know where the source of the infection is chief?"

Excellent question.

"How? I guess you could say it's my sixth sense or something? Or maybe it is ESP or that instinct that veteran cops have when they are near their goal."

Terrible answer.

"Are you telling me it is just a hunch?"

Which waters down to 'I don't know so let's guess and hope I get lucky'.

Nephew? What's wrong.

I felt the shift in him, felt him fight it. That drug! It was still in his system, I hoped that his innocence had diluted it sufficiently so that his immune system could deal with it, maybe he could even build up a resistance to it. who was I kidding?

Stay strong Nephew. If nothing else be proud, your pride will save you from the fall, it will never let you take that step.

I hoped, I prayed. One of them noticed he was feeling ill. Johnny was it? Not quite what I wanted but if they could deal with it, it wouldn't bother me.

"Come to think of it Allen… you were bitten."

You don't say.

"No way… my pride won't allow me to become one of those drooling, sluggish corpses."

Yes, hold on to that.

"Don't worry we can turn you back as long as we get our hands on the vaccine."

"Is that so?"

"Yes it is."

"I wonder."

Who are you?

I had been close enough to death so many times in my life that I knew when I spoke with someone who had passed life. He, she, it? disappeared. Not before I felt the pull it let out. Drawing something here, but what? I did not have to wait long for my answer.

"BAD CHILDREN WILL BE PUNISHED"

A general in a towel crashed through the window and wall to get to us.

The arrival of the monster I told my nephew some what sarcastically.

"You won't escape me my pray."

Oh, joy.

"Even the generals are being infected?!"

"This is bad."

You don't say.

For some strange reason a memory made itself known right then and there, even though it was the most inappropriate of times.

"Come on, what's wrong, just tell me and I'll help you."

"Nothing. Go away Mana."

"I know that something is, you always speak in short sentences when you're upset and you get a little sarcastic."

"So what?"

"It doesn't help you know, nobody can help you if you chase them away and won't tell them what is wrong."

"You figure? The hell are you doing"

But I had gone to him, gone to those open arms so ready to help. Cuddled up in them and cried. Cried for a dead dog, who'd got caught out in the cold, like my parents.

For you Mana, for you I will try. We worried about the attack we saw, in truth, it was the other two generals that were the problem. They claimed two of our band which was small enough already. After finding out that, the corpses were hell bent on killing or converting us and that a certain Supervisor had abandoned the weaponry we did the only thing left to us. We dodged then left it to the robot. Who hit Allen.

Scrap metal. I promised.

***

I do not know what he saw, only that it worried him. I tried hard to force him out of his unconscious state when I felt the thing, the ghost enter his dream. I knew a malicious feeling when I felt one and that thing was anything but benevolent, so I removed it, forcibly.

"Crowley!"

What had I done? Why did he shout so? The by-product of a nightmare? It did not matter, his friends gagged him as soon as he started. Well nEarly all of them, the ones that had come with us and the Komurin that sat weeping in the corner. They lean against a door and I felt him return to his dream. What had he seen there that bothered him so much and why had I been unable to follow? Neither of us had time to brood, we were interrupted by knocking on the door behind us.

"Allen…Lavi…"

What was so special about this voice, he seemed to connect it to his dream?

"It is I, it is I, open the door."

No

"Allen, Lave, it is I."

"This voice, isn't that Crow-chan?!"

"Crowley?"

"It is indeed I, please let me in. Just open the door."

Which part of no do you find incomprehensible? Nephew don't do it, look at the situation logically. He was unconscious in a bed near the matron. Who bit you? The matron. So whoever got her probably got him to, he was unconscious so he couldn't even fight back.

They were not willing to leave their friend on the other side of the door but none were willing to open the door. Eventually they settled on the robot. He needed a little persuasion but Allen was happy to oblige. Where did he learn that, not Cross, surely? A monster armed with chains entered. Worse, in his own way, then the rest.

I hate to say I told you so.

It took me a few seconds to get my bearings after that, being swung round by the foot did not co-ordinate most people. We were aware in time to defend the boy from the science team, Johnny. We needed to keep him safe, for all we knew he was the last one capable of creating a cure.

"You know Crowley this really takes me back. Why it is exactly like the first time we ever met."

Do you make a habit of fighting with your friends when you meet them Nephew. He punctuated his statement with a blow to the stomach and an apology. Something flew out. We received yet another beating.

"After him everyone!!" a little gnat screamed.

You did not even fight him, let's see you injured to this degree and still energetic.

"Look what Crowley just spat out of his mouth. A cap! It's the bottle of the cap that KomuVitanD was being kept in!"

I needed to teach Allen a little thing called subtlety, one of the things you did not do was run out shouting into a lair of angry, mindless, drooling beasts is not a very bright idea. No, not at all. Especially when those monsters are right behind you.

***

I knew the we were falling, only because of slight glances I caught from passing things, I was nEarly blind in this confused world. the next thing I knew was when we came to, and then we were bitten. The last thing I was properly aware of was the little science boy trying to protect this body. The drug should not have been able to affect me but it seems I underestimated the strength of the bond Allen and I shared. There was little enough for me to see from, most of it destroyed so it may have been that which created the darkness not the infection,. Even when there was something to reflect from were in the middle of a crowd more often than not. Still there were instances where I could truly see.

***

There was the ghost, the source of the noise, that "hihhihihi" possessing the girl, the sister complex's sister. So this had been planned, not an accident. I wondered if that was what it had been trying to do to Allen, possess him? I thought not, it'd felt fare to malevolent, it stank almost of a killing intent. It had just not counted on the fact that his body would already have an occupant other than himself. Then there were names, so many I was lost half way through the list.

***

The source being cured and the robot with the cure destroyed. Then everyone fell.

***

A blond man entering the building through the ark with four other people. Come to help with the move.

***

The same man running to greet Lenalee and asking Komui if he'd reached new heights in sister protection seeing as he was drooling. The head of Komurin X, miraculously survived, telling him the story.

***

Seeing someone coming towards us, we couldn't turn fast enough so a needle entered our neck. We chased then, helped spread the cure.

***

That night lying in bed, I wondered if he could hear me.

Nephew, can I kill him? The supervisor I mean.

He groaned what sounded like a negative, I like to think that it was in response to me not just the noise of a hurt, tired child.

Please?

Perchance this did not bother me so much as I thought it did. No one else would see it but it had done him good. Four days where he did not worry about me and did not have to feel people's eyes on him, gazes heavy with suspicion. Now too tired even to begin to debate what was weighing him down. Yes possibly this was not all bad.

***

A new gate, so many of those these days. I could not see in here but I could feel. I always knew when he called on my ability. Part of me was not interested in seeing, like on the boat. I had never had good sea legs, in fact, of the 8 times I'd spent on a boat, nine of them had involved me being seasick. Yes, I meant nine I was not unable to count. I could get sea sick just looking at a boat. I closed my eye and drifted off into a semi sleep state. I could have looked if I really wanted to; I was no longer bound to mirrors and windows, where my reflection shone through, it was easier there but no longer necessary. I could pull myself behind him, surround him with the shade of my cloak. Shock and surprise drew me from my cocoon. We were encircled, gripped by Crows. His left arm bound with magic to stop him using it. he was even expected to change his clothes.

Do they think you keep me in your pocket nephew?

I was not worried for myself, what could he tell them about me and even if he could, what could they do to me? no I worried for the change that was about to come in my Nephew's life. I did not know without a doubt but I was very sure. It was not a step I wanted to be taken yet. Let him remain innocent part of me begged. The other part of me told me not to be selfish, to give him the piece of mind that knowing what is happening will bring him. Moreover, the horror that will come with that knowledge the other side of me shot back. Nevertheless, I knew it would have come eventually. Was there a point in denying the inevitable? One of the Crows took me from my reverie.

"General Cross Marian is beyond this door."

Now I knew.

***

We returned to a memory, one I still wasn't sure I belonged in. I'd been conscious in those Early days, maybe this process would have been faster if I'd remained like that but there was that one thing that put me to sleep. I should hate you for it nephew and somehow I don't, perhaps it was because I always struggled to hate what Mana loved?

The previous night had been the first time he had seen Mana, id been so excited, the first ray of hope since my death and finally this host had decided to go and talk to him. impatience filled me. I had not bothered to pay attention to why he wanted to see Mana at that stage, in truth I hadn't cared. He had been nothing to me, just a way to a means. To me the end justified the way. So I had not seen how desperately this little boy had needed the acceptance the dog had showed him. I was so happy to hear Mana's voice again that I ignored the content, marvelling at how little he'd changed then again not much time had passed. Death had a way of making you feel different and expecting everyone else to be too. Delight became me, made me a better person and so I was more charitable to this child after seeing Mana, I started to listen to what they were saying. Laughing as my brother tried to make my host laugh.

"Hey why aren't you crying?"

Why should he it is just a do and now he has a brother back, a small price to pay. That too had been cruel of me, I had underestimated the need for a companion in my Mana's life after losing me.

"You lived everyday with this dog didn't you? Are you not even sad?"

He lived everyday with me.

"I'm so sad I could die."

"STOP THAT!"

Again I laughed at Mana's speed of thought and body, it had saved him on more than one occasion, it was nice to see it put to use for fun instead of necessity.

"Actually I can't cry. Maybe my tears have all dried up. They just won't come no matter what."

Mana what is wrong, you shouldn't be talking like this, like I'm still gone, like I haven't returned to you. You remember the plan, right? Please, remember the plan.

"The hell, that's stupid. This guy, what was his name? I petted him yesterday and he licked me, his tongue was warm. So today I thought I'd… why… that's all, so why am I crying?"

Did you see me than Mana, mirrored in that child, in my tears for a dead dog?

***

A protective spell sprang to life, for a second I knew it drew Allen's attention from Cross. Not for long. His red head friend was here, but not the book man, which was interesting. It meant that something else more important as going on else where. Why else would the apprentice be here instead of the master? I knew the Bookman order, they would not risk losing important information to train a child. There were several key pieces missing. A thought struck me, was this conversation being watched in another room, where people could discuss what was said? Certainly it would be recorded, unless the order had grown extraordinarily slack since I had been gone.

"Mana, had something to do with the fourteenth, didn't he?"

I'm sorry, if it helps, I too would have like to have kept him from the war. Even if it was not the place of the younger brother to look out for the older.

'Yeah, the fourteenth had a blood relative, an older brother. The one and only person who was by his side, up until he betrayed the Noahs, until the very moment he was killed by the Millennium Earl. That brother was Mana Walker."

I was selfish, I would not deny it, I should have sent Mana away, made him hate me, kept him safe, but I could not. I had wanted him there, with me and I was so glad when he was. I realise now that I destroyed him in doing that, nobody could or should live through the pain Mana did and remain unchanged, see and hear what he did.

I am sorry Nephew.

Useless words because I would not have stopped Mana coming if I had a second chance and I would not have chosen a different host.

"Brothers… Mana and… the fourteenth"

It hurt you to say that didn't it.

"Master…you knew the whole time, didn't you?"

Another betrayal from someone you thought you could trust. Welcome to my world.

"I knew all along. When the fourteenth died I promised him I'd watch over Mana."

And I'll never be able to thank you enough for doing that, old friend.

"And if I did that some day you'd return to Mana's side. That's what you promise me Allen."

No, what I promised you. Let him be himself, just for a little while longer.

"Or should I say, fourteenth. It's probably not really awake yet…"

I'm sorry but it? You and I need a serious heart to heart. Further more define awake, I am conscious or do you refer to the fact that his body is still his own? Perhaps but I am awake, just not in control, not ready for control. No, that is a lie, if need be I could take control of this body in a heart beat but, I do not wish to, I wish to give my nephew as much time as possible.

"… but surely you have started to feel the fourteenth's presence inside you, haven't you Allen?"

Once again define feel Cross. He knows me, he has seen me, heard me talk, I have even manipulated his body from within my mirror but part of me does not believe he has felt it. Even in his 'dream' when we were closer together than we had been in years, close enough to touch, I don't think he understood. I don't want him to understand. He does not realise that these gifts and sightings come from something rooted within him. why must he be told, now he will not stop looking for me. you will force a consciousness of something and he will never cease to look over his shoulder. For me. in his actions, n his words, and in his thoughts.

"What! What are you-?

"Don't bother playing dumb, you knew the song of the player. That is his memory."

He is not, it is genuine.

"You are the human implanted with the fourteenth's memories, the host for his revival into the mortal world."

I hated them then, hated central because my nephew, my Allen had to find out like this. Mana's precious little boy, he could have been given more time, Cross could have been gentler, though maybe he would not have been, but it did not need to be cruel. Like this. Something crucial change in him, at that second. I delved into his mind, desperate to find what was wrong and try and right it. not that I could, it was not probable. Silence swallowed me, and stillness. I was vaguely aware that Cross was saying something but his voice faded into the background, then I felt Allen's vision dim. He was staring but not seeing and Cross' words fell on deaf ears. His mute lips struggled to form the confusion in his head, but mute he remained. Senseless images swirled round, emotions that he could not put into words overwhelmed him, and I, the ever silent watcher, could do nothing but that, watch. Fire exploded in his left cheek and I quickly removed myself, teeth bared, who presumed to do such a thing? I would have their head on a silver platter. It was Cross.

You and I, sir, will have words.

"Don't just stand around like that; we've still got talking to do."

Do you treat him like this because of what I was like before? My casualness when I thought of a host? I have changed, maybe I will be more lenient because you do not know, but you need to change, quickly.

"When you say… implanted … when did he?"

When I had no other choice and I found a body that could carry me. do you think the innocence was a mistake? No. If your body could house parasitic innocence I knew one day it would have the strength I needed.

"Huh? Ah—sorry no clue about that.

"WHAT?"

Surely he had to have some idea.

"Wait, I can guess!"

See Nephew it is not as bad as all that

"Probablyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… sometime before the guy died.'

You figure? Of course it was before I died, what did he think I was. I could not return from the dead to cast a spell to allow me to do exactly that. It had to be done in life so that my mind could escape when my body died. I call this state death, it is not, in truth.

"YOU DON'T KNOW AT ALL, DO YOU?"

No, he was always stupid like that.

"THE HELL DO YOU WANT, I SAID I WAS SORRY, JUST FORGET THAT PART!"

All the sighing I had begun doing lately could not be good for me.

"Anyway I didn't know whether to believe the guy either. Until you showed up that is."

Ah so that is it, you don't know because you weren't listening when I told you. I was not in the habit of joking.

"It was a hellish state of affairs for him, after he tried to kill the Earl. Him and Mana, living like fugitives, constantly in danger from the Noah clan."

Hellish? That's one way of putting it, even now I remembered that period with absolute clarity. I'd tried too soon. An impetuous youth. After that we'd been fugitives. Running, hiding, crawling below tree roots at night to sleep. Sleep? I make myself laugh sometimes. That was a sorry excuse for sleep. One I constantly open, ready to move the instant movement was demanded being scared to move too much or breathe too loud. Clinging together for a semblance of warmth. We'd done everything we could to make ends meet. No, I lie; Mana had done everything he could, the destitute clown. I had stolen when there was no money for food. I remembered praying to a God I was not sure about. Oh I knew he existed, one way or another but part of me had never been able to muster true faith. I envied the churchgoers, who truly seemed to find peace with God but it was not something I ever attained. Some nights a church would be our shelter and our sanctuary but not often because Akuma were not what scared me most. In a way I could pick up when someone was an Akuma and I could identify my family in any form, provided I saw them before they saw me we were safe. No what scared me the most was the Black Order, I had no precedent on how to behave with them and sometimes I did not understand the Rose Cross. When hunger and fear drove me I would often forget, and then there was Mana. I felt terrible then because I had brought him into this but he was the one person I had left in the world and I had been unable to let go. Part of me had broken when I'd seen him try to defend me from an enemy even I would have had trouble with. I hated myself for it, to this day and I loved him all the more.

"I don't think the Fourteenth had the luxury of worrying about 'when' or 'who'."

No not really, only about who would be suitable, strong enough, even then I was running out of time so I just took the first opening.

"When there was a chance, he took it, and just picked a host from the people who happened to be around. Thinking of nothing but using you to kill the Earl."

Forgive me.

It was all I had time for, I wasn't thinking, not of you. At that stage, even Mana had become a secondary issue. Poor Mana who had looked after me through it all, moved to the back of my mind. The desire to survive erases all else. All but hatred.

"So he really… picked me?"

"Some bad luck for ou, wasn't it. the implanted memory will erode away at the host little by little… and eventually you will turn into the Fourteenth. You've seen the signs, haven't you?"

The only thing I can offer you is that it will not be painful, not physically. Emotionally? Mentally? I can say nothing, I will try to ease the pain, but that is up to you Nephew. I tried to smile, to put my pride and sorrow into that smile, for him, but all that came was a predator's grin. Maybe because that was all I would ever be, who was I kidding when I tried to be anything but?

"So that's … that's why… it's not … fair. When Mana said 'I love you' was he telling… me or … which was it"

Would you believe me if I told you that was why I love you Nephew? I love you because I wish I knew myself. You've no idea how much it hurt watching after all that time and wondering, wondering if it was me he saw… or you. I have never studied a person's eyes so intently in my life, looking, praying for that flash of recognition. Grasping every word he said, twisting and turning them in the hope that I would find a hidden meaning, one that would tell me that he knew it was me. I never found it. he remebered something, the knowledge I think but the people? The places? The experiences? I wondered, I still wonder. I was once told that in order to protect itself the human mind would erase painful memories, I didn't believe, didn't want to believe it but the more I watched… you gave him life Nephew, life that I took from him. you put colour in his cheeks and his grin became genuine. You gave back to him all that I took. You became a balm for the wounds I opened. I know because you returned the tears to his eyes. Made him whole. I was so glad when I heard that he wept for you. I am sorry I was not there to see it, but I couldn't have been. It hurt too much to watch, so I slept. Slid into a coma and stayed there. I always was a coward.

"The day the Fourteenth died, Mana lost his mind."

My fault, all my fault.

"I don't know whether he remembered the past or not."

Part of me hopes not, because I fear I would have disappointed him. I stole a child's mind and body, made him a tool in an ancient war. It was wrong, he never would have said it but I know he would have felt it. I should have taken one whose future did not have so many possibilities.

"But the way it looked to me, watching from the outside… kind of ironic isn't it?"

Yes, yes it is. I fought this war for him, turned against the Earl for him.

"Should've picked some poor bastard nobody'd miss for his host… not to kind of him, was it?

Kind? Me? perish the thought. I was always a fool, jumping in head first with thoughts for myself and no one else. I've learnt but my lessons were painful. A certain measure of piece, nearly unnoticed in the hell that was my nephew's heart entered as Cross embraced him. Per chance I would not be so harsh with him.

"Can't laugh about the thing with Theodore either… Geez… if I told you that when you turn into the Fourteenth, you'll have to kill all the people that are important to you? Then… what would you do?"

Is it not better that way? Rather see them dead at your own hands than have to watch them die for you? I don't know anymore, I honestly don't. I am a changed man, I will do my best to keep his dear ones safe but you never know.

Nephew, I, too, am lost.

"Wait a minute. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M GONNA KILL SOMEONE I LOVE"

I'm sorry Nephew, it is the way of the world. to save one thing you must sacrifice another. I know that, so much better than many others.

"Master."

Leave him.

Do you not see how the crow pull him away Nephew, time is up, our audience is over. They fear you learning more about me so they will keep you from him. one day, you and I will teach them.

"Listen to the Fourteenth. There is another side to this war. Don't die before it's over this time."

That is probably the soundest advice you have given Cross but you do not need to worry, I do not make the same mistakes twice and this time, things are a little different. The element of surprise is mine now and I have a weapon I did not have before, one he cannot anticipate even though he has seen and fought it before. I know he is alive but he does not know I am. He would not listen, struggling to get to Cross against the guards.

Tim, look at Tim nephew he is right by your head.

Whether he heard me or he happened to have the same thought I do not know but he hit Timcampy, quite accurately, towards Marian. It hit, not the ideal reaction but certainly he tried to stay. Admittedly, this time it was to try and kill us, but still. He was rash, but not that rash. Not by a long shot.

"Please leave the room general."

"Huh? What? I couldn't hear you."

Typical.

"Wh-when I joined the organisation… I swore to Mana that I'd never stop no matter what, that I'd keep walking till I died. I'm the one who swore. I don't know how much I've been influenced by the Fourteenth's memories, and honestly I don't really know how to take the news about Mana."
Who would? It is no crime.

"But I still love him, these feelings, come from my heart, from the real me. so I'm going to keep my promise to Mana. That's what I've decided."

I admire you Nephew. So few would have the guts to say that, would understand Mana after what you just heard. That you can still remain so loyal is one of your best traits. I will never forget it.

"I don' care about the Fourteenth. I won't let him have this."

I care about you Nephew and I would never try to take it, I was never even able to watch it. it is yours and Mana's and nobody else's, but Mana is yours and mine together.

"Stupid master."

***

As they released us, undid the bonds on our arms, let us get dressed normally and then let us go our own way, the only question without an answer remained. Prominent enough that I heard him thinking about it.

Who were you saying it to Mana? Did you love me, like I loved you?

He needed to know, I could feel it. needed to know that his world had not been built entirely on lies. Needed to know that someone had loved him in lieu of the parents who could not.

I love you child, though I know it is not enough.

Still it remained, persistent and dominating.

Who was it Mana? Who did you love, was it him, or was it me?

I wish I knew Nephew, I truly do.