Rule 12: No. More. Parties.

Guess who's just turned 35... Yay...

I spent my birthday trying to avoid every other human being. I asked Fury for permission to ignore my schedule, and have everyone else's, so I could train and study in peace.

I quickly dashed by the cafeteria where Steve's mandatory once a week bonding lunch was currently being held. Come on Morgan, you can do it. You've just got to make it to dinner.

I hate celebrating. I never celebrated anything as a kid, and holidays and birthdays always hit me by surprise. I always forget to get a gift for someone, and then my panic attacks act up, and I end up in the infirmary on Christmas Day. However, I had promised Clint he could take me to Dinner. A quiet dinner, just the two of us, but he has to promise not to tell anyone that it was my birthday.

"Agent Morgan.." Coulson said as I ran into him.

"It's not my birthday!" I blurted.

He winked. "Sure thing, Agent Morgan."

"Sorry to bother you." I apologized, and kept walking, my head down to hide my face, although considering my hair, that doesn't really help.

5:30. Not a single person has wished me a happy birthday all day. Point one Agent Morgan.

I dug through the closet Natasha and I shared, searching for one of the few fancy dresses Pepper had bought me that I brought on the Hellicarrier. (You never know when you're going to have to infiltrate the presidential inauguration. It's a lot of fun, and I was the only one who didn't have to borrow a suit from Tony!) I finally found one in the very back of the closet. It's this pleaded gold shimmery skirt thing that goes to my knees, that I wear with a black long sleeved scoop neck tee shirt, white tights, and -gasp- black high tops. Pepper would kill me, but I don't think I've worn a single pair of high heels with the outfits she's bought me. Except for once when I wore my fancy spy heels (they've got knives in the heels, cameras in the soles, and lots of other goodies) on a mission.

There was a knock at my door.

"Good evening, Mr. Barton." I said in my best high British accent as I opened the door.

"There's been a change of plans." Clint stammered.

"What do you mean "Change of plans"?" I inquired.

"It wasn't me! I swear! Someone else told him!" He stuttered.

"Someone else told who, what?" I demanded.

"Tony's throwing you a surprise party." Clint gulped.

"He WHAT?!" I snapped

"SURPRISE." The room resounded as I walked in the door.

"Where is Tony Bloody Stark!" I fumed.

The Red Sea of strangers parted, creating a path way to where Tony was chatting with even more strangers.

I grabbed his throat and shoved him against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I shouted.

"Scarlette! Scarlette!" Pepper screeched as she attempted to pull me off of Tony.

"I am going to murder you in front of all your little house guests Tony Stark. It will be slow, and painful, and humiliating." I hissed.

"Someone help me out here!" Pepper wailed.

Most of the house guests evacuated to the other side of the room.

Tony's face started turning purple.

"Scarlette, stop. He can't breathe!" Clint demanded trying to help Pepper.

"That's the bloody point!" I snapped.

Clint managed to pry my hands from Tony's neck, grab me by the waist, sling me over his shoulder, and proceed to carry me back outside.

"TONY STARK YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH MY FRIEND!" I barked, kicking and hitting Clint as hard as I possibly could.

"We'll be back when she finishes her tantrum." Clint apologized, like I was a little kid.

He took me in the hall, and dropped me on the floor. I immediately stood up and socked him in the face as hard I could.

"Scarlette!" Clint shouted.

"I am going to kill that..."

Clint put his hand over my mouth to prohibit me from finishing.

"Are you done?" He asked, removing his hand once I gave him a nod.

"I need something to punch." I hissed.

"Punch the wall." He suggested.

I spun to the wall behind me and punched a clear hole straight through the wall next to the door.

"Tony'll fix it ." Clint promised. "You good?"

"Yeah." I mumbled.

Next Rule: Do NOT hide the coffee.

Thanks for reading, DFTBA :3

-Kitty