A.N.: It will be a while before I update again - I'm going out of town for the weekend, and I've been visiting my cousin down at the Shepherd Center, so I haven't really had a lot of time to write.

Summary: Yamamoto visits Gokudera in rehab, and she tells him of her captivity, up to the first of six horrors.

I sit in the chair next to the window in my room, lost in thought. I am much stronger than I used to be, but I don't know if I am ready to face Yamamoto again. It was hard enough when I was first released from the hospital, but now that I've had time to come to terms with what happened, I don't want to let Yamamoto live through what I did.

A soft knock on the door pulls me out of my worried thoughts. I half-turn, and I see Yamamoto poke his head around the door. "Hey," he says softly, "can I come in?"

I nod with a small smile, and turn back to the window. I hear a soft click as the door closes behind him, and relax underneath the hand that lightly rests against my shoulder. In my lap, I hold the journal that I spent the last month or so writing in. It would be best if I told him now, a little bit at a time, so he has time to accept all that happened.

He kneels next to me, his head level with mine. "How are you?" He keeps his voice quiet, studying my face.

"Better," I reply, still staring out the window.

"Haya-chan." I turn and face him, but I still don't meet his eyes. "Are you sure?"

Finally, reluctantly, I meet his gaze. "Yes… My…psychologist has helped me out a lot. And therapy isn't as difficult anymore…"

His eyes flick to the journal in my lap before they track back up to mine. "Is it easier?"

I shift, moving my eyes away from his. "Y-yeah… a little…" I lower my head, looking at my hands clasped over my journal that contains my nightmares. "The nightmares stopped," I add quietly.

I see a small smile on his face out of the corner of my eye. "That's great," he murmurs quietly.

I nod and move my hands away from the journal. "I…" I hesitate. I have to do this… I turn away from the window. "You should probably have a seat," I mumble, opening the cover of the journal.

He pulls the nearest chair close and takes one of my hands. "Is that - ?"

I grimace. "Unfortunately, the shrink thought it would be a good idea if I wrote everything down."

"Why is that unfortunate?" He looks confused.

"Because it forces me to share the hell I went through."

An uncomfortable silence falls, and he pulls his hand away. "You don't have to - ."

"No," I say, interrupting him. "I need to do this, no matter how hard it is." I swallow and turn to the first page.

He sits back in the chair and waits for me to begin.

It started off as a solo mission, just checking out an empty base at the edge of Vongola territory, so I wasn't expecting an ambush. Bullets fly around me in every direction, and a few hit me, but I feel nothing. I know it's futile, but I continue to fight. I can't be taken captive. I'd rather die than be tortured; because I don't want to run the risk of letting the enemies know anything about our plans, but I also don't want to die. I grunt as a bullet slams into my shoulder, forcing me back onto my knees. This needs to end, and quickly, or I'm dead meat.

One second I'm standing, the next, I'm falling.

Searing pain jolts along my spine as the knife digs around, trying to pull out the bullet lodged right next to it. I scream into the bloody cloth held between my lips and try to keep my back relaxed. Whoever picked me up is clearly trying to help, but they aren't being nice about it. I hear a faint ping as the bullet hits the ground and sigh as the knife is removed. I feel myself rolled over, and I look on my rescuer for the first time.

His face is hidden in shadow, but he has broad shoulders and well-muscled arms. I stiffen when I see the insignia on his left shoulder – he belongs to an enemy of the Vongola. "Hello there, little girl," he says, and I try not to shiver at his voice. "I'll pick up a handsome reward from the boss for you… But first, I need you to tell me everything. If you refuse..." He raises the knife in his hand, and I try my best to conceal my fear.

We sit there for hours, Yamamoto listening silently as I read aloud from the journal containing the details of my torture. I watch his body positioning as I read, noting how he tenses up at some parts, and shifts with worry at others.

I stop reading after the first of the six horrors I endured and look up at him. He looks drained – scared, hurt, fearful, angry, and many other emotions I can't read. "Haya-chan," he says quietly. I swallow and reluctantly meet his gaze. "You don't have to keep reading. I know how hard this is for you…"

I shake my head. "That was the easy part. I've read that before, with the shrink." I turn to a new page, where I had just finished recording the second horror. "I haven't read this yet thought."

He reaches out and takes the book from me, closing it. "Please," he whispers, "I don't want to hear any more. Not today, at least. I just want to spend some time with you, and see you truly happy, for once."

I meet his gaze, and say nothing. He takes my hands, leaving the journal in the half-opened drawer, and leads me outside, to the gardens on campus. I've only been there once before, for a patient luncheon. I hold onto his hand as we walk slowly around the gardens, matching the pace I can manage without over-exerting myself.

He took what I told him better than I thought, and he's not treating me like I'm weak, or overflowing with sympathy. He's treating me with newfound respect, like someone more than an equal. "You're strong, Haya-chan," he says after a while, "stronger than I ever thought… Tsuna deserves someone like you as his right hand."

I look up at him with a small smile as we come to a stop next to the waterfall. "Thank you," I whisper, resting my free hand against his cheek. I say nothing else, but lean up and kiss him on the lips.