Numb: Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

Author's notes: Thank you all so much for the feedback, I can't express enough just how much I appreciate your kind words. I'm happy that everyone appears to be enjoying the story so far! Poor Kakashi, he has no idea what he's got himself caught up in. I admit that I do enjoy giving the characters a hard time, but that just makes writing the stories more interesting for me. I like challenges!

Anyway, I'm back after a computer scare. My laptop battery properly died, so I had to get a replacement one. I was freaking out because I had this chapter nearly finished and my computer wouldn't turn on! Ahhhh! The stress, but it's all ok now. Please enjoy the next chapter! :)

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(Kakashi's point of view)

"Kurenai… I'll… look; I'll call you back…"

"Kakashi! Don't you dare hang up that phone! We have a lot of talking…"

I hung up the phone without even realising what I was doing, it was just instinctive the second I heard Sasuke's name mentioned. My chest tightens and that all too familiar sick feeling latches onto my gut once again as the same nurse from earlier approaches me, clipboard still in hand. How long has it been? I can't even remember what time it was when I brought Sasuke to the hospital. Glancing at the clock on the wall I can see it's approaching eight O'clock in the evening. I've no idea how long I've been here.

I gulp as I make eye contact with her, desperately trying to read her expression. She doesn't seem upset or anything, my heart lifts with a sudden jolt of hope.

"We administered a drug to counter the heroin effects and thankfully he responded well and regained consciousness. But he's still very weak and experiencing some withdrawal but overall he's not too bad. You can see him now if you'd like Mr Hatake," she smiles, that wonderful look melting away the fears that had been consistently growing within me. It's like I can breathe again for the first time in hours, a heavy weight lifted from my chest.

"He's going to be ok?" I ask, my eyes brightening.

"Only if he stays off the drugs," she warns. "Another incident like that and it would be the end of him. He's extremely lucky this time, these cases end tragically more often than not, and unfortunately we see a lot of them in this area. Sasuke is not the first and he won't be the last."

My heart sinks again. It slipped my mind that the boy must be, in fact, addicted to the drug. It would explain those unpredictable mood swings of his, but I can only wonder how long he's been addicted. I let out a loud sigh. Getting this boy off the drugs won't be an easy task, but I did promise myself that I'd help him. I can't go back on that. Besides, hopefully this incident will have scared him and put him off wanting to take heroin again. He came so close to death.

"Come with me, he's in a ward just along the corridor to the right."

Just as I'm about to follow the nurse to Sasuke, the payphone starts ringing. Shit! I know in my mind that it's Kurenai; she must have called the operator to get the number of this particular phone. She must be furious that I hung up on her, but I will deal with that later when the time arises.

"Odd, that phone doesn't normally ring…" the nurse looks at it curiously.

"It's nothing, not important," I state. "It's just somebody trying to ring me back, but it can wait until later. Please will you take me to Sasuke?" I ask; the decision made in a split second.

"Yes, just this way."

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My heart beats frantically as I push open the door of the ward, not really sure what to expect. Sasuke has been put into a private ward to recuperate for a few days before they move him into the drug rehabilitation unit. I'm not sure how long they'll keep him here, but I offered to pay for all of his expenses, as I know there's no way he could manage it on his own. I can only pray that they'll be able to cure his addiction and more importantly, will Sasuke even want to stop it? What if he has no will to fight it? The thought frightens me, but I need to try and stay positive for his sake and hope that his encounter with near death will have set him straight.

Stepping inside, the overpowering scent of antiseptic invades my senses, but I quickly shake it off when I see a familiar figure curled up on the bed. My heart flutters excitedly. I'm so thankful that he's still alive; I brought him here in time. The sense of relief is overwhelming, but it feels so good. I haven't failed him.

"Hey Sasuke… "I whisper as I approach and pull up a chair next to the bed. "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," he groans, every painful, raspy word a huge effort. "Why ask such a stupid fucking question?"

Despite the insult, I can't help but smile. This boy has such a powerful effect on me that I don't think I'll ever begin to understand. It's a sad sight though. He's curled up under the sheets, shaking violently and still the colour of a corpse. My eyes follow a tube inserted up his nose to aid his breathing and keep his airways clear. His eyes are heavy and sunken, every breath still an effort for him. I'd give anything to take him into my arms and hold him until sleep carries him away for the night, but I quickly shake those thoughts from my head. I can't be thinking things like that about him, it's ridiculous!

"Oh fuck…" he groans again and clutches his stomach. "Kakashi… beside the bed… the…"

Roaming my eyes down to the ground, I can see what he's looking for. They left a bucket for him to be sick in… how nice. I quickly pick it up and pass it to him as he snatches it from me in a state of desperation. Rubbing his back gently, I wait patiently until he's finished emptying the contents of his stomach, which isn't a lot. It kind of reminds me of that one time Kurenai had food poisoning and I had to sit up all night just like this, but for Sasuke I don't mind.

It's not long before he curls up under the sheets again, his skin clammy and damp, his small frame still shaking.

"I'm sorry…" he whispers.

"It's ok," I reply with a smile, my hand still gently rubbing his back. To my surprise he doesn't spin around and slap my hand away. He doesn't seem the touchy-feely type, but he's probably too sick to care about what I do at the minute.

"Why didn't you just leave me to die?"

"What?" his comment takes me by surprise. "Like as if I'd do that!"

"Anyone else would have. You barely know me…"

"I'm not like that, I'm not going to leave anybody to die," I sigh, a little disturbed by his comments. Surely nobody would leave him if they found him in that state. It doesn't make sense, but then again there isn't much about this boy that actually helps solve the ever growing riddle surrounding his life.

"But I stole from you."

"Yeah, well, don't do it again!" I smile and give him a gentle, playful nudge.

Suddenly he starts shaking more and clutching his stomach again, immediately causing me to jump up. I frantically look around for a nurse or someone, it scares me when he goes like this!

"Kakashi! The bucket…"

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I'm not sure how long I spent comforting him, but he eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep. A nurse assured me that he'd be under full observation during the night to make sure he doesn't fall into any difficulties, but she seemed pretty confident that he'd be alright, although his withdrawal would get worse.

They are still deciding what would be the best way to treat his addiction, but tomorrow they want to move him to the drug rehabilitation unit to begin his treatment… or so she said. Sasuke didn't look pleased by this at all. He hasn't said to me that he wants to give up the drugs; he never mentioned it once despite what he just went through. What if he isn't willing to try? The thought terrifies me. I don't want them to give up on him, and more importantly, I don't want to see him in that state ever again. He didn't agree to stay in the hospital either, although it was implied by the nurse that he should, Sasuke chose to ignore what she said and gave no response. I tried to encourage him by saying that I'd cover the costs, but he still wouldn't give an answer. That sick feeling returns to my stomach. I truly believe that Sasuke does not want to give up the drugs, and they can't make him stay here if he doesn't want too.

"Excuse me, Mr Hatake?" one of the nurses opens the door of the ward. "There's somebody here who wants to see you… um… I think she said her name is Kurenai and she seems quite mad."

Fuck! I forgot to call her back… again!

"Oh… um… alright…" I gasp, trying to hide my nerves. Kurenai can be really scary sometimes and I think now might be one of those moments. She's going to kick my ass!

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As I round the corner I'm met with a very familiar, yet unimpressed face. Her eyes are red and swollen, her normally perfectly applied eye make-up smudged into a black mess. It's obvious that she's been crying earlier and as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, my heart sinks. I had no idea I'd upset her this much. To be honest, I got so caught up in the moment and Sasuke that I completely forgot about her, and that has never happened before. I was expecting an angry reaction, but she just looks sad… sad and disappointed. I feel like the worst person in the world at this moment in time.

"Kurenai?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly. "I… I…"

"Hatake Kakashi!" she growls. "What is going on? I can't believe I had to drive half way across town just to get answers from you. I thought that on our wedding day we promised never to keep secrets from each other."

"Kurenai…" I sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry. I got so caught up in the moment and everything happened so fast… I really wasn't sure what was happening. I was going to tell you, I really was."

"Then tell me. What happened? Who is this boy you mentioned, and why was he in our house? What's so important about him that you couldn't tell me in the first place?"

"I didn't think it would become such a big deal. I thought he would just be a passing figure in my life and I'd never see him again. Things got out of control and the situation began to escalate so fast." I begin to confess, my arms reaching out to her. She seems almost relieved by the action and quickly falls into my embrace, her head resting against my shoulder. Her warmth is comforting and instantly I feel like everything is going to be alright. If I'm going to tell her, now is the time. She's calm enough to think about it rationally now.

"On my way home from that nightclub I was at with Iruka, a boy kind of crossed my path. His name is Sasuke and he'd gotten himself into a lot of trouble. He'd borrowed money which he couldn't pay back and he was about to be beaten up, possibly even killed. I had to help him. I don't know why exactly I did what I did, but I offered to pay his dept for him…"

"What?" Kurenai angrily backs away from my embrace. "You gave away our hard-earned money to some worthless street scum? He must have borrowed that money to buy drugs and you go and hand it back to him on a silver platter? Scum like him should get a damn job and stop leeching off decent folk who work hard for their money!"

"No, I gave him my hard earned money, not yours. How was I to know at the time he was a drug addict? I was simply trying to do a good turn… and you don't know anything about him! How can you say things like that when you don't even know him?"

I'm surprised at myself for jumping to his defence so quickly!

"And I suppose you know everything about him then…" she sneers as she folds her arms tight across her chest. "Go on, tell me everything you know about him other than that he's a heroin addict!"

My mind freezes. As much as I hate to admit it, she's right. I know nothing about him myself… I only took his word that he'd been trying to find jobs previously. I guess I really don't know for sure.

"I'm waiting!" Kurenai presses, her foot now starting to tap the ground in impatience. "Tell me about him."

"I… I… he's… I…"

"So you don't know anything, do you?"

"I…"

"So you gave away money to a jobless drug addict who you know nothing about. You probably risked your life to save him and who knows how many people he's probably robbed for drug money. He robbed you didn't he?" she stares at me, that glare piercing straight through me.

Again she's right. Sasuke obviously steals money for drugs, he's probably a criminal wanted by the police or something. My heart sinks that little bit deeper. What if she's right? No, she can't be.

"Well… he did take money but that might have been a one off, there's no way of telling if it's something he does regularly. I just wanted to help him Kurenai. He looked so vulnerable at the time and I was afraid he'd be killed. Everyone deserves a second chance and I want to continue to help him."

"Fine Kakashi, do what you want. I don't care anymore, but don't get your hopes up. He's probably a lost cause anyway, but whatever. I'm going home now. You know how I feel about the situation. Do what you have to do, but do not ever bring him to our house again Kakashi, do you hear me? He's not welcome there. I don't want a thieving drug addict anywhere near me or my belongings, thank you very much."

With that she left. As I said before, Kurenai is not a heartless person. She worries a lot, and with good reason too. I really don't know a thing about Sasuke, but it makes me determined to dig a little deeper. If Sasuke will let me, I want to learn more about him. Despite the warning signs, there's something about him that compels me to get closer. I want to unravel the mystery that surrounds him. I know he's a good person at heart; I just have that feeling about him. If given the right opportunities that he's missed out on, Sasuke could be happy. I promised myself that I'm not going to give up on him and I stand by that.

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FLASHBACK – Sasuke's past: (WARNING: Upsetting scenes).

It was a particularly bitter November night. A dense sheet of fog masked the street outside, as the moonlight struggled to creep though any visible cracks in the thick blanket. Small flakes of ice had formed in the corner of the window as condensation continued to spread across the inside, only to be wiped away by a tiny hand, the child inside wanting a clearer view of the outside world. Dark eyes glanced at the street outside, taking in everything that moved; anything that would become clear amongst the heavy layer of fog. Nothing out of the ordinary tonight, but then again it was the slums. Nothing of great interest happened there anyway. The child had seen it all before. Angry couples yelling at each other in the street, young people shooting up some substance unknown to him, fights breaking out amongst big gangs of people, cars being broken into: it was nothing new. He barely batted an eyelid.

The small hand continued to trace shapes along the condensation, a slight smile spreading across the young boy's face as he took simple delight in creating a messy picture. The shouting from the next room was becoming louder and harder to ignore as the sound of smashing glass made him jump. He recalled earlier that his daddy had come home with a lot more of those bottles that he likes to drink from. The boy didn't know what exactly was in them, but from past experience he knew that it made him angry. It was best to stay away when his parents drank or he would get caught up in their fight. Shaking painful memories from his mind, he breathed on the glass to try and create more condensation to play with. He pouted as the patch he'd breathed on disappeared more quickly than the rest. So much for this game!

Backing away from the window, he curled up under his blanket on the floor. It wasn't much warmer inside than it was outside, his breath was clearly visible and his thin blanket wasn't much use, although it was better than nothing. He closed his eyes and tried hard to fall asleep, but the racket going on in the next room was too much. He tried plugging his ears and hiding his head right the way under the blanket, but nothing helped. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he sat up again. Surely by now he should be used to this, they fight nearly every night! The boy knew, however, that if he could only get rid of those bottles that mummy and daddy would be happy and stop fighting. He hated those bottles so much. Mummy would be kind and caring one minute, then she would drink from them and the problems would begin. His daddy was never caring but when he drank the problem was made worse. The boy had often heard him say that he wished he'd never been born, and often he'd tell him just how much he loathed him directly to his face. The child was used to it now; he didn't get upset now as much as he did in the past. Daddy hated him and that was just how things were and would always be. It was just another thing that was completely out of the ordinary for him.

Unable to take it anymore, he pulled his thin, undernourished body to his feet and made his way to the door of his room. The noise was coming from the room next to his which meant that they would not be in the kitchen. He wanted his mummy and daddy to be happy so badly that he knew what he needed to do. The bottles had to go! Cautiously pushing the door open, he paused when it made a creaking noise, worried that he'd been heard. He held his breath as he froze to the spot, but the noise coming from the other room continued.

Mummy was now yelling at daddy to stop, that it hurt and she didn't want it. The boy didn't know what was going on in there but he'd heard the word 'rape' mentioned a few times in the past, but he assumed that this must be a normal mummy and daddy thing to do. They seemed to do it a lot so it must be a good thing. Walking towards the kitchen, he stopped when he reached the place where daddy kept the evil bottles. The old, wooden cupboard door was heavy and it took all his might to open it, but as he fell over onto his bottom, the door flung open with him. Success! The boy reached inside and pulled out one of the bottles that was kept in there. It was already more or less open; he just had to pull a loosely placed cork from the top. It didn't take much effort at all. He nearly choked on the smell alone as he took a sniff, it was horrible! It smelt like daddy's breath. How could mummy and daddy drink this stuff and not be sick?

The sink was out of his reach, but he was determined. This was to make mummy and daddy happy. It would make them stop fighting. It didn't take long before he pulled a chair up beside the kitchen counter and crawled up, the evil bottle still firmly in his grip. Another small smile spread across his face as he knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do. He took comfort in the thought of his parents being happy and not hurting each other any more, or him for that matter. All he had to do was get rid of this fowl smelling substance. Without hesitating he began to pour the dark red liquid down the sink, coughing again as the stench hit his nostrils even stronger than before, but smiling as he watched it disappear into darkness forever. It had been quiet for a while in the other room, perhaps his parents were sleeping now. He was concentrating so heavily on what he was doing, and his daydreams of a happy family, that he didn't hear the door open. He didn't hear the angry footsteps marching towards him until it was too late.

The next thing he knew was that he was on the floor, looking up at the chair he'd been standing on, his face stinging and the taste of blood on his lips. He hadn't felt the blow this time until he'd hit the ground, but it had happened so fast he could barely remember it.

"YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE FUCK!"

He cried out as a foot made contact with his side, knocking the breath almost clean out of him.

"What do you think you're doing? That stuff is worth more than you are! Why are you so goddamned USELESS?"

The venom in the older man's voice drove terror into the little boy's heart. He knew what was coming as he's experienced it many times before. Daddy was in a rage now and there was nothing he could do until he decided to calm down and leave him alone.

"Just wanted you and mummy to be happy…" he sobbed as he clutched his sore sides.

"The only way for me and mummy to be happy is if you were dead. You were a mistake, an accident. You shouldn't even be here!" he hissed as he moved close to the frightened boy's face, the child's nose wrinkling at the all too familiar smell from the evil bottles. He screwed shut his eyes as he saw the curled fist rise aggressively above him.

Those cruel words remained deeply rooted in his mind as he blacked out. It was something that would remain with him forever.

End of Chapter 4

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Thank you for reading! Ahhh! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry I was so cruel to poor little Sasuke, but I wanted to use this chapter to try and explain why Sasuke is the way he is. He's troubled for a reason. There will be more flashbacks of Sasuke growing up as the story goes along, but eventually he and Kakashi will become closer and he'll open up to him.

Please review and let me know what you think! Pretty please! It gives me the incentive to update faster when I know people are enjoying my work. As for next the chapter, can Kakashi convince Sasuke to stay in hospital and get the treatment he needs? Somehow I don't think it will be so easy. Kurenai will have to try and come to terms with the situation as well. More flashbacks will probably ensue! Also, I'm not a doctor, so please don't flame me if there are a lot of inaccuracies in this chapter... which there probably are! lol

See you next chapter!

Laura xx