There were nineteen messages on her answering machine. Yumi threw her bag on the bed unceremoniously and as she followed suit, she hit the playback button clumsily. The majority were from her mother -- she deleted those before they reached the three second mark -- and some were from university. A systematic warning to all students on winter break; class was to resume in two weeks and they weren't to forget it. Yumi made a mental note to pick up her books from the school book store, re-apply for financial aid, and do her mounting laundry before classes resumed.
If she managed to survive Ulrich's parents that was. Oh yes, and the bitch that was tagging along with them. After Aelita had thoroughly informed her of all those cute little stories of childhood nuisances which involved this girl, Yumi was starting to see why the nickname suited her. Apparently, the girl had a horrible temper, a penchant for being nosy, and a nagging talent for conceit -- without reason, Aelita had clarified.
Odd had systematically briefed her on the life long struggle to disassociate with the girl. Unfortunately, and the face Odd made was laughable, because Ulrich's parents liked her so much, or at least the pretense she put up, she was to remain in Ulrich's life until,
"Ulrich realizes he's madly in love with her and can do nothing else but marry her," Odd's voice had been solemn. The slight curve of his mouth, however, gave him away.
Ulrich, it seemed -- and Yumi wasn't sure, she never was when it was concerning Ulrich -- didn't like this girl at all. In fact, he seemed to have a sort of apathy for her, a lurking dislike that was only hindered by his natural instinct to be polite and agreeable. It was a redeeming quality, and Yumi wondered to what extent this girl had bothered him in order for him to develop such negative feelings for her.
This was all too much. Too much effort, too much concern, too much feeling. Fleetingly, Yumi wanted out from it all; from Ulrich and his secrets, from Odd and his banter, from Aelita and Jeremie and their all too blatant tragedy. For what? What was she winning? Where was the benefit of it all?
All of the building panic in her chest was only surmounted by the memory of Ulrich driving her home. He hadn't so much as graced her with a look, simply driven with precision. He hadn't even been in the state of mind to open the passenger door to let her out. Yumi accidentally slammed the door shut on her way out. Okay, so maybe it wasn't so accidental, but whatever feelings she was experiencing at that moment, she doubted Ulrich wanted to hear about them.
Aelita had coerced her into meeting her in the morning before planting a brief, social kiss on her cheek. The action was complemented by the sinister, scheming smile that Aelita wore as she walked away. Jeremie took her hand, shook it, and then followed Aelita. Yumi wondered if Jeremie treated everything as if it were business, and if so, what an unlikely pair he and Aelita made. Aelita seemed so full of feeling, vibrant with emotion. Perhaps they were different in private, or perhaps they were so attached that it didn't matter if the ends didn't quite match up, if there was an imperfection to it all. They loved each other and they didn't care.
Yumi found it kind of ironic that she had such excellent introspection into the lives, hearts, minds of others and yet she couldn't guess at her own. And was Ulrich like her? Was that why she couldn't see into him? The riddle drove in circles and Yumi closed her eyes in frustration. It seemed she spent the majority of her life on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what was it exactly that she did that seemed to twist her life into tangles.
It was late and she was tired, Yumi didn't bother to slip into something more comfortable. She did, however, put monumental effort into not dreaming about Ulrich.
She failed.
Ulrich actually called her in the middle of her self loathing. It was fifteen to nine, and Yumi was having trouble deciding on whether to skip out on Aelita's offer and face her wrath or give in to whatever maniacal plot she had concocted. The ringing of the phone was a sharp contrast to the silence, and after two rings, Yumi picked it up.
"Hello," she bleated out.
"...I didn't wake you up or anything," Ulrich asked slowly. "...because I can just call back later."
"Don't worry," Yumi replied systematically. Though, in truth, he had a lot to worry about. She would end up killing him if he continued to make her this way. Yumi Ishiyama did not have consecutive, implicating dreams about boys. Yumi Ishiyama did not fight over boys with other girls. And, Yumi decided, if she kept thinking of herself in the third person she was going to personally enroll herself in a clinic.
"I was, um, getting dressed to meet Aelita," she lied. Yumi made a motion to search for something feasible to wear and found nothing. She really needed to do her laundry -- ninety percent of her clothes were dirty and all that was left in her closet was the kind of clothes you push to the back, praying you'll never be desperate enough to wear them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"You don't have to go, you know," Ulrich said uneasily. Wait, he didn't want her to go? Now Yumi really wanted to go. "Aelita can be ... imposing, you know? I can make up an excuse --"
"It's okay," Yumi interrupted. "I want to go."
Ulrich's voice seemed deflated when he answered, "Well ... okay, if you want to."
"I want to," Yumi repeated.
"Yumi," Ulrich seemed unsure. "You trust me, don't you?"
"I--," Yumi faltered. "Why?"
"Never mind," Ulrich's voice was resolute. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay," Yumi affirmed. Then she added, hesitantly, "... If there's something you have to tell me, say it."
A breath on the other end of the line heightened the anxiety of anticipation in Yumi's chest -- she held her breath. Her hand pressed the receiver to her ear, impossibly close, and the cold steel cushioned pliantly against her flesh.
"Yumi, I love you," there was no space for doubt in his words. "I really love you."
Yumi exhaled slowly, carefully. "Okay," she answered back, shaking. Then, quietly, tremendously heavy with underlying intent, "Thank you."
She hung up.
Aelita waved her over from where she stood, an established fashionista with a Gucci purse dangling from one arm, pale dress fastened to her body. It was a Valentino classic, she later informed her, a present from Jeremie when she'd graduated. Her smile was in place, and the slightest hint of blush glimmered when she tilted her face to the sunlight. They settled for an outdoor cafe, Yumi ordered coffee and Aelita politely declined a replica of her order in favor for some tea.
"Aren't you cold," Yumi shivered. It wasn't nearly as cold as it had been in the past weeks, but for someone who wore nothing but a flimsy jacket over a dress it was nearly impossible not to catch hypothermia. "I'm freezing."
"A little," Aelita admitted. "But I like the smell of the cold air, and I haven't been around snow in the longest. Jeremie and I are always traveling, and whenever it gets cold in Europe we just head someplace warm. He doesn't like the cold very much."
"Hmm," Yumi said as she sipped her coffee.
"So, have you made a decision?"
Yumi raised her eyes, "About what?"
"About Ulrich, of course," Aelita made a motion as to say that she was being silly for not knowing. "Why else do you think I called you here? To talk about your wardrobe? Though, now that I think about it, maybe we should go sh--"
"Don't even think about it," Yumi threatened. "I hate shopping -- no, don't look at me like that -- I do."
"Wow," Aelita laughed. "You and Ulrich do belong together. He hates shopping too."
"Well," Yumi replied humorlessly, because belonging with Ulrich made her heart ache. He made her heart ache. "If he did like shopping, I think I'd be worried."
"A sense of humor, good," Aelita smiled. "I don't know if you're aware, but, you've officially passed the best friend approval preliminaries. Of course, if you so much as hurt Ulrich in any shape or form, Odd will have Kiwi go after you."
"I'm frightened, really," Yumi's voice was deliberately deadpan. "But there's no reason for you -- or Odd -- to worry about me hurting Ulrich. I'm not going to be with him. That way, there will be no chance of me hurting him."
"Hmm," Aelita sipped her tea indulgently. "Is it because you don't want to hurt Ulrich or because you don't want Ulrich to hurt you?"
Yumi stood abruptly, "Listen, if there's nothing else you need to say to me I'll just go."
"Yumi," Aelita's tone was less sweet, a little bitter, and very hard. "Don't make me regret admiring you."
Yumi stared at Aelita in disbelief.
"Yes," Aelita continued. "I've heard a lot of things about you and now I've confirmed the majority of them. I admire you, Yumi. I admire your strength and your determination -- you're a good friend and loyal." Aelita stood. "... but, like all of us, you have your flaws. You have trust issues Yumi -- no, don't look at me that way, I majored in psychology -- and it may not be any of my business, but ..." She paused, thoughtfully. Yumi thought she might break into pieces. "You're both so sick for each other. I refuse to let two perfectly good people go to waste because one of them is too scared to try and the other too scared to push."
"Aelita--"
"It doesn't have to be now," Aelita interrupted quickly. "Just ... be fair to him, Yumi. Let him know that he's not alone in this. It's not fair for you to hold out on him this way. I know what it feels like to love someone and not know whether it's all a waste."
"Jeremie?"
Aelita looked away momentarily, when she turned back to Yumi, her face was different. It was twisted into an array of emotion, each so painfully clear that Yumi wondered what exactly had happened between Jeremie and Aelita.
"Jeremie and I --," she paused. "It's a very long story. I'm not your therapist Yumi, I have no obligation to make cute little stories so you feel as if you can open up to me. I want to be your friend because I think we'd be great friends, but, it's only fair if you try."
Yumi was suddenly aware that this was one of those moments in life that you never got back, one of those fleeting opportunities that were so rare. All of this time, fighting her parents, fighting William, all of it and for what? Yumi didn't want much, which was something her parents never understood. She didn't want luxury or some great adventure. Yumi wanted life, she wanted friends, she wanted happiness, she wanted --
"Ulrich," her voice sounded cracked. "Does he ... does he know you're--"
"No," Aelita cut her off sharply. "Ulrich has no idea I'm talking to you about this. He's scared of losing you, because, well like the rest of us, Ulrich has made some mistakes. He's done some stuff he's not exactly proud of, and as it is, he's not exactly standing on stable ground. But that's not my business to tell you. He'll tell you when the time is right."
"Does it have anything to do with his room?"
Aelita actually laughed. "His room? Not really. Unless ... Well, if he's taking it that far then I guess he loves you more than I realized."
Someone yelled in the distance. Yumi's heart thundered in her chest, she tried not to cry but the tears were already brimming in her eyes. All all her repressed emotion was leaking out, bit by bit.
"I'm sorry," Yumi managed. "I didn't mean to --"
"Cry," Aelita interjected. "None of us do, I'm sure. Now, it's getting late and I'm sure that Jeremie is probably ready to report me missing ... Hey, it's alright," she fished out a satin handkerchief from her purse and handed it to Yumi. "I promise you that ... well, they told us promising things is bad, but you're not my client so whatever. I promise you that things will work out. So long as you try."
"Now," Aelita smile, her face brightening considerably. "You're going to hate me for this, but, I am dragging you to the mall. No self respecting friend of mine is going to go out in public wearing ... what is that?" She rambled off a few designer brands Yumi didn't recognize.
Yumi wondered if this is what happiness felt like, and for the first time in her life she began to realize the damage that her father had done to her, the damage that she had done to herself.
"...and shoes, you have to see the shoes. They have this music store right next to it, so we can look at the ..."
Yumi wasn't paying attention to Aelita, or the cars blurring in front of her into a haze of gray. The streetlights twinkled distinctively, red, yellow, green -- again, again, and again. People talked, people laughed, children ran and adults walked.
For the first time in a long time, Yumi felt alive.
Probably one of, if not the most, important chapter in the entire story. Sorry for the delay, school has been really hectic. I revealed a little about Ulrich's "secret", and Yumi is finally undergoing a metamorphosis. Those who were expecting the dreamgirl/Ulrich's parents this chapter will have to wait -- but they will come, I promise. Anything in particular you liked about this chapter? Any lines you liked? I love feedback, and I love when people point out things to me -- it makes me feel as if every single word I write counts. Thank you for reading.