Something is wrong. Something is wrong. Something is wrong. Those words rose, twisted and fell, and transformed into a prayer, a secret wish. If she had ever wanted to believe in someone so desperately, Yumi couldn't remember. She wanted to believe that the words that were coming out of William's mouth would change nothing, that they would simply breach her ears and retract without a fuss. More than that, more than anything, Yumi wanted to believe that at the end of this, Ulrich would still be good, and right, and not what every single man in her life had turned out to be.

This was impossible.

This hope was hopeless. Why was she even trying? What was the point of it all?

Optimism, optimism was good; Yumi just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Well, look who decided to come," Odd swam into her line of vision, moving like a marionette. A pinpoint precise smile was at his lips, humorless, and his attention was on William. He didn't even acknowledge Ulrich. "The last time I saw you, your nose was broken. Care for an encore?"

"Don't be stupid," Aelita appeared next, Jeremie following at a relative distance. Annoyance was the least of the expression on her face; she was furious. Her focus shifted from Odd to William and something flickered across her face. Too quick to categorize, and Yumi felt lost, and outsider exposed to an inside joke. "Dunbar," the lack of intimacy didn't fall on deaf ears. "Crashing parties was always your style, wasn't it? Leave, or I can have security escort you. Either way," a cracked smile. "I'll be much happier."

"Aelita," Jeremie placed his hand on her ivory shoulder. "Don't get overemotional, it isn't good for you."

"Einstein has a point," Odd agreed. "Stay out of this, princess."

"You're obviously not wanted here," Ulrich spoke up, cool and controlled. "Why don't you just leave and spare us a scene?"

"That's funny," the sarcasm in William's voice was unmistakable. "The last time I checked, you were the one causing scenes, Stern. You were the quite the drunk, weren't you? The last I heard of you was that you were sent to a hospital for --"

"William, stop," Aelita pleaded. The change in tone was so radical that Yumi tensed. Her attention, however, was primarily on Ulrich. "This isn't --"

"It was a mistake," Ulrich interrupted. "That was a long time ago."

"Holding grudges is unadvisable," Jeremie intoned. "Don't tell me you've come all this way to expose, and I use that term liberally, Ulrich, for something that occurred well over two years ago. You're being ridiculous, Dunbar. I suggest you leave the premises or --"

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

All eyes turned to Yumi. There seemed to be a consensus as whether to considering her request or not. Finally, Ulrich spoke up,

"Yumi, we should go inside," his voice was devoid of any emotion.

Yumi put her foot down, literally. "Don't even think about it, I'm not moving from here until someone gives me an explanation."

"Gladly," William interjected. "You see, Ulrich is --"

"Yumi," Ulrich interrupted. "If anyone should be giving you an explanation, it should be me, but not here," he managed a small, sad smile. "You don't deserve to know like this."

By this point, optimism was nearly impossible.

"You didn't ... kill someone, did you?"

"What? No, I didn't kill anyone," Ulrich had the gall to smile at her. "Its nice to know to you think so highly of me."

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Yumi hissed. "That speaks volumes of how highly I think of you."

"Right," a soft, tender smile touched Ulrich's features. Yumi had never seen Ulrich so kind. It terrorized her. "I'll tell you everything you want to know, but not here. Come with me -- trust me."

Fight or flight. Old scabs were torn anew, wounds bleeding once again. Was it okay to feel this way? Yumi couldn't tell, didn't know. Maybe if she got her hands on some statistics, some facts -- maybe she could rationalize this. Nothing was available to her fingertips, nothing except the way Ulrich was looking at her and it was devastating.

Now, now, Yumi don't look at me that way --

Just a girl, remember that, and someday like your mother --

Hey! Why does he get to go out?

Because he's your brother, Yumi, and men always go out.

Never too far, never too fast, just like this father?

I love you, Yumi.

"I'm a ... an aspiring songwriter."

Thoughts waged war in Yumi's head; Ulrich, why? Why such deception? Why does everyone have to protect me from the truth? I'm not that breakable, I promise.

"Wait for me."

Wait for me.

Wait --

Yumi shook her head, shook those visions out of her eyes, a vague feeling filling her chest, filling her. It occurred to her that she was empty. All of that pain, disillusionment, sarcasm -- they all failed to fill her up. Yumi ached for something solid, something tangible, something whole and wonderful and not dark like her memories. Slowly, gaining momentum, a spark had started in her hallowed chest. Yumi couldn't pinpoint when or from what, but it was shining, calling, fighting -- fighting for her, for Ulrich, for them. It was the way he handed her coffee, the way his fingers flickered through pages, the way he smiled with irrefutable enthusiasm, the way those forty three muscles never failed her. It was those conversations through the door, the warmth of his arms, the selflessness of his intentions.

And finally ... realization, triumph.

"I'm waiting."

Ulrich paused, confused, "What?"

Yumi shook her head, shook those visions out of her eyes, a vague feeling filling her chest, filling her. She couldn't understand it, didn't even try to -- Ulrich was waiting and she was ... she was tired of wasting time.

When Ulrich outstretched his hand, Yumi didn't hesitate to take it.

"Come on," Ulrich squeezed her fingers in reassurance. "We have a lot to talk."

"Isn't this sweet?" Yumi had nearly forgotten about William, but his voice filtered through her epiphany with unpleasant acuity. It was impossible to ignore. "I thought you were smarter than this, babe. Don't tell me you think you're going to ride off into the sunset, now? You don't even know who he is, what he's done --"

"Shut up, William," Aelita's voice was shrill. "Shut up or I will make you."

"Hush," Odd whispered as he mussed Aelita's hair, tension etched on his face. He wasn't fooling anyone with the lighthearted gesture. "How about you and Prince Charming go inside and handle the plague, hmm?"

Aelita looked at Odd, and something intangible flickered between them, an agreement, "Are you talking about Elisabeth?"

"Eh, Elisabeth ... the black plague, the cancer that just keeps coming back, you get it."

Aelita seemed placated as she joined Jeremie, who, interestingly enough, maintained his distance. Odd cracked his knuckles, a perverse grin carved into his face. For a moment, Yumi thought she ought to be frightened, but with Ulrich beside her it was almost impossible to feel anything but exhilaration and something else she couldn't name.

"As for you, old buddy," Odd took of his jacket and rolled back his sleeves. "We still have unfinished business, huh?"

Ulrich chose that moment to haul Yumi by the arm, effectively silencing the feud between Odd and William. Yumi did, however, manage to hear Aelita holler one last request at Odd,

"Odd Della Robia, if you get blood on that shirt I will --"

"Yeah, yeah," Odd yelled back, almost playfully. "I'll be careful, mom."

Aelita might have made a retort but it was lost, swallowed up by the darkness and the pounding in Yumi's ears, heart.

Ulrich behaved as if he were taking her somewhere without any extraordinary intent. He opened the passenger door, saw her in, buckled her seatbelt with annoying care, and then proceeded to the other side of the car.

The boxes in the back of Ulrich's car were never more comforting. They were almost a symbol of how far they had come in spite of the brevity of all; how far she still had to go. The difference between then and now was that Yumi knew where she was going and she was unafraid. Well, that was a complete lie, but, she was willing to face those fears despite the pain they might bring her. She had endured enough pain to know her limits, and Ulrich, thus far, was safely within those bounds.

Yumi prayed he wouldn't overstep them.

"Do you want go somewhere?" Ulrich seemed anxious now, agitated. His fingers tapped on the steering will, almost thoughtfully, and his eyes squinted through the darkness of the car, hoping to catch some expression. "... or, would you like the interrogation to begin here?"

He meant it as a joke, Yumi knew, but the cracked quality of his voice at the end of the sentence betrayed him in its totality. He had done something bad, something really bad.

"Ulrich," Yumi's voice was deafening in the silence. "... How bad is it?"

"There's not a day I don't think about it," Ulrich replied, solemnly. Oh God, Yumi thought to herself, frantic. He really was part of the mafia! "But I've changed Yumi, I swear to you."

"How do you know William, and what was he talking about you in a hospital? You being ... drunk, and causing scenes?"

Ulrich ran his fingers through his hair.

"You know what they say," a nervous, strangled laugh. "The families that pay together stay together. William and I come from very affluent families, I guess you can say. There's this school in France called Kadic, it's a boarding school of sorts where all the children of people who can't bother with them and can afford to send them away, go to. William came in second to last year."

"I hated Kadic, Yumi. I didn't like any of the people there, I didn't have any friends. All I had was soccer, and even that was worthless. My teammates hated me, I hated them too. William came in with a similar view of the world; he hated everything, hated that his parents didn't care enough about him to put up with him, hated how shallow his entire life was. We agreed on so many things that we became friends. This was before Odd, by the way -- Odd was the reason William and I stopped being friends and eventually turned into ... well, what we are now."

"Anyway, William and I decided to take revenge on the world by doing everything our parents had warned us about. I knew that my parents valued their reputation above all, so I set out to trash it. It was terrible, Yumi. I was sixteen and I was going to underground parties, drinking, disappearing, staggering through the halls like a drunkard. I," this seemed the part he was most ashamed of. "-- I was with a lot of girls Yumi. I took advantage of them, well no, it was mutual I guess. They wanted my money and I wanted some fun. I hate the person I was then, but back then it was euphoria to me, nirvana. It was like letting go of all the feelings I couldn't express; it was like telling my father off, like talking back to my mother. It was everything and I couldn't stop."

"All good things must come to an end, right?" Yumi listened mutely. "In the last month of that year, Odd came to Kadic. Jeremie and Aelita were attending Kadic too, but in a different division, for the gifted -- they were, are brilliant, y'know? That's why I'd never met them. Odd, I guess, was like the link. He introduced me to Jeremie and Aelita ..., but, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was really trashed after this one party; I ended up in the hallway of the gifted division. Odd was on his way to visit Aelita and he saw me and dragged me into her room. They didn't care that they would get in trouble; they sort of held me captive in there until I got sober. I say held me captive because that's what it was; I'll never forget the things I said to them at first, God I was an asshole..."

"Anyway," Ulrich repeated. "Odd knocked some sense into me -- literally. Aelita spoon fed me the worst soup I have had to this date, and she called it punishment for my 'wickedness'. I think she enjoyed it though, she's always been a bit of a sadist if you ask me ..."

"I went back to my dorm a few days later; William asked me where I had been (we were roommates), and I told him. I thought he would be happy that I was finally getting some common sense, but instead, he got really angry. He told me that I didn't believe in the cause anymore, whatever that meant. I think he felt betrayed, like the one person that understood him was betraying him. I still feel rotten about that..."

"We couldn't stay friends, naturally. I got the school to let me room with Odd, and William and I avoided each other as much as we could. Odd joined the soccer team, Aelita became our personal cheerleader, Jeremie stayed up really late calculating statistics and provided us with warm chocolate every morning. It wasn't perfect, but, it was as close to perfection as I had ever come."

"I think I realized I wanted to be a writer when Aelita was quoting poetry -- Neruda, I think -- over lunch one day. Odd was always making stupid dance videos, so one day I borrowed his guitar and tried it out. I wasn't half bad, and before long writing and playing became the replacement for drinking and partying. I loved it, I even auditioned for the Sub Digitals once ... but that's another story."

"There was this big soccer match one day and my parents, namely my father, decided to come. I was under a lot of pressure; the last time I saw my parents was when they decided to drop me in -- then hell -- Kadic. It meant a lot to me to play well."

There was an unexpected pause, but Yumi didn't dare interrupt, she didn't even dare breathe.

"I played well -- so well in fact that my father started talking to me about going pro and scholarships and how his friends could set it all up for me. I did that day what I had never done before, I told my dad what I wanted, I told him that I wanted to be a singer and a songwriter."

"He didn't believe it, he thought I was joking. Then, well, then he disowned me."

Yumi inhaled sharply, it sounded like a hiss.

"Tuition at Kadic isn't cheap, Yumi," Ulrich sounded slightly resentful. "I had no way to pay for it. Aelita and Jeremie stepped in and paid for it without so much as denting their savings account. I didn't want them to, but, you know how persuasive Aelita can be."

"We graduated from Kadic, and for a month or two, I played in a few clubs and tried to decide if all I had lost -- my family -- had been worth it. A producer from MTV heard me one night. He was in charge of the You Ought To Know tour in France and he liked my sound. I graduated, packed up, and moved to New York."

"Aelita didn't want me to leave, but eventually she realized that she wasn't my mother and she couldn't do much about it. She did, however, provide me with the apartment I live in now and most of the things I own. It's not free, though. She makes me pay for it every time she drags me to one of her horrible parties..."

"I met you a couple of months later -- and yes, I lied. I played the foreign kid card to talk to you, I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of another way that wouldn't end up with you biting my head off. The rest you know -- Jeremie, Aelita, and Odd came down to visit. My parents spontaneous decision to check up on me was due to the fact that my mom heard one of my songs on the radio and decided to see if I was alive," a bit of bitterness there. "That's why I wanted you around; I wanted to show them that I had done well on my own, that I was happy without them, and that I had found someone who appreciated me for what I was, not for my last name, and not for my -- nonexistent -- social standing."

"Yumi, I love you. I never deceived you or manipulated you into believing that for any other reason than because it was the truth. I know I lied about being an aspiring songwriter, but it was only a half lie, and anyway, I just wanted to know if you wanted me for me or for my fame. I know I should have told you who I was, but I -- every time I'm around you I turn into an idiot. I don't know what to say or what to do. The person who I am now is relatively new, I don't really know how to be, I guess."

"I guess Aelita felt she needed to come to my rescue, that was the original reason for her visit, you know. I guessed she figured out how obsessed by you I am and decided to help me not screw up things. I tend to screw up things a lot..."

"So, Yumi," he was giving her his winning smile, though it was frayed at the edges. He took up her hands which were trembling. "Will you forgive me for ... everything?" A hopeful smile overtook his charming one, an earnest expression of how he felt. Yumi had no doubts about her answer.

"No."

My longest chapter to date : 3,061 words. Feedback on this would make me insanely happy, because I fabricated a lot to get this chapter across -- I really worked hard on it. Do you love it, hate it, are coming after me as part of an angry mob? Review and tell me :)