Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR.

Dose of Your Own

By: OurLoveIsForever

Chapter Three: Walls

The house was colder than usual. Perhaps that was why I planted myself so very close to the fire. With such wide expanses of open space within Greengrass Hall, it was completely normal for the home to be cool, but the temperatures had plummeted since my last visit. I watched as my Mother, an older version of my sister with her blonde hair pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head, poured some Darjeeling into the fine teacups on the small side table.

Father sat just beside her, the Daily Prophet lying on his lap. I assumed he was not actually reading, but looking at the pictures as he always had done. His handle bar mustache quivered when he spoke. "How is work, my darling?" I tensed at the endearment. It sounded foreign from his lips.

"Well enough, Father. I am expecting a promotion any day now."

"That's good, that's good. Any word on the proposal front?"

It took all self control I had within me to not scream. "Not a word."

Mother raised her head, still remaining poised in her flare of anger. "If you would simply allow me one single day, Astoria, I could fix that mop of hair and that horridly pale complexion of yours." Once more I had to keep my eyes from rolling. It never changed. Every time I came to visit my parents, they always said the same things.

Perhaps my hair was different than any other in the Greengrass family, being that it was brown and rather dull. Compared to the shiny Greengrass blonde, I could see where they might be confused, saying that it was utterly dreadful. As for my pale skin, I was no different than any other sane female who would rather not get sickness of the skin.

"I prefer to remain as I am, Mother, but thank you for your kind offer." I tried to keep the bite out of my tone.

She shrugged slightly. "Your sister will be getting married next month and yet, you still have not one man to even consider you. As a Pureblood, it is your duty…"

"To uphold the family honor by bearing the sons of another Pureblood family's loin. This is our wish for you dearest daughter of the Greengrass line." I quoted perfect, slightly imitating my Mother's haughty voice.

"Do not give me that expression." My Mother admonished, watching me with her head tilted back. "You are nineteen years old and yet you have no male interest."

"Yes, we all know how much you wish I were like Daphne. Sad truth though, isn't it? That I am a different person entirely?"

I stood, smoothing down the front of my skirt as I did so. Without saying anything more, I walked to the door. Before I could open it, I stopped. "I don't care what course you take, Astoria, but you will not make the coming wedding difficult. You have duties to you sister." I didn't need to turn around to know my Father was leaning in the doorway. "You will be the prime example of a sister, of a lady. I will not tolerate anything less."

For a moment, I simply stood there, my fingers wrapped around the ancient handle of the door. No tears came to my eyes from his harsh words. In fact, I was accustomed with much worse barbs than his therefore they should have been regarded as blessings.

My family could be compared to a rose. It was beautiful from afar: rich, powerful, and old. We truly did care for each other, sometimes. I knew that, but it didn't change the fact that there were thorns on that rose. Every time that I tried to grip it, I would bleed.

"But of course, Father." I conceded, pulling the door open and stepping outside. The next moment, I stood within my flat. "I will be everything you want of me."

An hour after my visit with my parents, Daphne arrived, her hair flipping and her nose in the air. I didn't offer tea nor did I make any move to make her more comfortable. She Apparated inside when I refused to open the door, the first words out of her mouth being: "Damn it, Astoria!"

I didn't look up from my book. I kept it on my lap so that she could not see it was a Muggle novel. I would have been given hell for that as well on top of all my other 'screw ups'. "Yes, dearest sister?"

She strode forward, hitting the book out of my hands. It fell to the hardwoods, clattering to a stop beside the leg of the coffee table. The pages bent this direction and that. I stared at where the book had been on my lap, slightly shocked. "You will not screw this up, Astoria!"

"I didn't know that I was." I responded dully, not allowing any frustration into my voice. "If I had known that I was messing up your life, I would have stopped living sooner. Pity..."

"Stop that! Stop being such a smartass! It makes you seem like a shrew! How do you expect to marry when you have the tongue of a serpent?"

I shrugged, moving to pick my book up from the floor. "Slytherin."

"Ah, don't pull that card! You were never a true Slytherin. You were only in that House because I was. The only reason you survived that House was because of me!" She screamed shrilly. I cringed, looking up from my position on my knees. She was in a rage, her blonde hair streaming like snakes from her head. Even her eyes seemed to glow red. I flinched.

Flashes of memories rampaged through my head. Screaming echoed, cries, shouts, pleads; all resonated from memories long buried within the recesses of my mind. I glared at her for bringing those thoughts to the forefront. They hit like a hippogriff, knocking the wind out of me. "My sister, the bona fide Slytherin, right? How could I forget? Excuse me for my lack of propriety, dear Slytherin princess! Thank you for sacrificing your reputation to help me, but wait, that's not right, is it?"

She stopped moving, her eyes widening. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't keep those people, those heathens, from attacking me. You didn't leave your ivory tower. Not once did you try to stop my punishments. You never really wanted the punishments to cease from those nutcases or our classmates. Never one to risk yourself! You forget that I know you. Ha! You may fool everyone, but the one person you cannot trick is sitting right here! I know who it really was! I'm no idiot." She opened and closed her mouth rapidly. In her nervous gesture, she wound a piece of brilliant blonde hair around her forefinger. "Nott blocked a large amount of the Slytherin retribution, right? That's why you hate him so much. I once heard that it was him from Zabini. Once I was able to piece everything together, it all made sense. After all, who would listen to you? You're all looks and no brain. No real power, just a pretty face and a knack for screwing your way in with those that have the power!"

Her hand had hit my face before I had time to stop it. My head snapped to the side with the force. "You weren't worth it! You disgrace the Greengrass name with every breath you breathe! How dare you sympathize with Mudbloods and blood-traitors?"

I didn't move. I was still in shock. In my nineteen years of life, she had never struck me. Then it hit me: the date. February seventh. My birthday. I narrowed my eyes as I stood up. With a sick sense of calm, I walked to the door and pulled it open. "Leave, sister, and do not return." I stared at her with my eyes as cold as possible.

"With pleasure!" She walked quickly to the door and stopped just outside, turning slightly so that she could see me out of the corner of her eye. "You'll be alone forever with that shitty disposi—"

I slammed the door on her insult. " And good luck with that bastard of a fiancé!" I called through the door. Sighing, I walked to where the book lay and picked it up, dusting the cover off I read the title aloud: "Much Ado About Nothing…indeed."

"Take the shot." I sighed, handing him the small glass of Firewhiskey. He shook his head, smiling slightly. For a moment, I thought he wouldn't do it, but I was entirely wrong. Within seconds, the liquid was gone and he slammed the shot glass to the bar counter.

"So you're telling me that you think I was the one that helped you all those years ago?" Nott asked, raising his hand for one more drink.

It had been nearly thirty minutes before when we literally ran into each other outside of the Leaky Cauldron. I fell to the ground, cursing the whole way down. He stumbled backward, not saying a word. He had leaned forward to help me up and upon realizing who I was, invited me to have a drink with him.

Thus we sat at the bar, taking swigs of the best liquor in London. The pub was dwindling in customers considering the time of evening. Dimly lit candles were the only sources of light and the only sound was the mutters of those half-drunk or lamenting their lots.

"I remember when you were sorted actually. You were a gangly little thing, shaking and quivering the whole way up. You sat there forever." He didn't slur a single word. Rather, he smiled goofily, setting his glass on the counter. "I was terrified when I was sorted. That blasted hat wanted to put me into Ravenclaw. I threatened it. If it put me into anything but Slytherin, it would find itself at the bottom of the Black Lake with a rock inside. It told me that I deserved Slytherin for my kind of intimidation."

"The hat was arguing with me. It wanted to put me into Ravenclaw as well, but I told it that my parents would disown me should I be anything but a Slytherin." I laughed a bit at the memory. "I won in the end."

"How so?"

"Started ignoring everything it said and when I did answer, I said random things. It said that I was far too clever." I shrugged. "Next thing I know I'm sitting at the Slytherin table."

"Go figure that all of your friends are Ravenclaws." He said slowly, running his hands along his charcoal slacks. "I suspect that you wish you had been in Ravenclaw now, right?"

"Not quite." I admitted. "For all the negativity that I bear toward our House, I do have a lot of traits common to—"

"Socializing with Lady Disdain! How the mighty have fallen!" Draco Malfoy's voice drifted to my ear.

I turned slightly and grinned widely, recalling the book I had been reading. "'Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Lord Malfoy? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence." I quoted the line perfectly. He glared at me, but somewhere in the darkest recesses of those liquid iron eyes I saw a glimmer of appraisal. "You've read Shakespeare, Malfoy?"

His eyebrows rose just slightly, but it was enough. He had given himself away. "Of course not, I would not read such muggle rubbish."

"Indeed." I raised my chin and gave him a silent once over before turning back to my glass. I glanced briefly toward Nott, who was watching amusedly. "You quoted it, Malfoy, and I do not believe your bullshit for a moment."

Nott snorted into his cup, his eyes widening at my blazon remark. I really couldn't understand what had come over me. Every time that he came near me, my mouth took over. Under normal circumstances, I confess that I rarely think through things before I do or say them, but when Malfoy was around, my brain melted into a vat of stupidity and the urge to demean him with every word within my vocabulary took over.

"You are the one that is full of shit, Greengrass!" He bit out, leaning against the bar beside me. He ran his hand through his hair gracefully. I held back a snide comment and allowed him to continue. "You are Pureblood and yet you still read Muggle literature, you socialize with scum and work for that damnable Ministry!"

Nott began to stand in defense, but I waved him off not wanting their friendship to be strained because of me. This was certainly my fight. "It would surprise you to learn that I don't give a shit what you say. Look at that, someone that doesn't take your ill-tempered, pansy-ass, Pureblood prince bullshit. You are just as much of a dick as you were in school!" Gathering what was left of my remaining stupidity, I shoved my way past him. I didn't look back, nor did I regret the words I had spoken. He had pushed me the wrong way on the wrong day.

I pressed through passing bodies, gasping when an elbow accidently made contact with my gut, knocking the air out of my lungs. Weaving through the crowd, I felt a strong hand take hold of my wrist and jerk me into the cool night air.

The next second, I was pinned against the alley wall, protruding bricks digging into my back. I gritted my teeth together against the pain. The light from the moon caught on strands of pale blond hair, making them silver in the moonlight. Malfoy stood over me, a fist slammed into the wall beside my head. The other hand was harshly holding a wand to my throat. "Silencio!" I began to become frightened, never before had I seen such an inhuman glare in his eyes, in anyone's eyes. "You listen to me, you damn harpy. I will stand for none of this!" He lowered his tone and kept his eyes on mine. "Do not pick a fight with me or you will come to regret it."

He continued to glare. While he was distracted by the best insolent face I could muster, I slipped my wand from my robes. With some smooth agility, I pushed him away, pointing the wand at his chest. If there was one thing that I was certainly not, it was a duelist. Spells took a considerable amount of concentration for me; a trait frowned upon by most Pureblood clans. Yet another reason for the displeasure of my dear family, no doubt. Nonetheless, he did not know my lack of proficiency and for that I was thankful. I gently snapped my wand back, ending the silence spell.

"You will never touch me that way again or I swear that you will find yourself in the countryside with no memory and not a scrap to your name!"

"You know what I think?" He replied, keeping his wand level with mine. "You're bitter."

I bristled. Somewhere deep down, I knew that he was right. I was bitter. Why no one ever noticed the unassuming, pale sister of Daphne Greengrass, why not one person in my family supported me when my world was turned upside down, why I could never do anything right in the eyes of those most important to me. Those facts and questions haunted me every evening and every morning. I narrowed my eyes over my oak wand. "You know what I think, Malfoy?" When he didn't respond, I dug the remainder of my grave. "I think you're scared. I think that under that jackass exterior is a frightened little boy! And while I may be a bitter, miserable hellion, you are a cowardly, resentful—"

"That's what you think?"

"Yes, that's what I think!"

He glared at me before stepping forward. "You had best stay out of my way."

"Oh yes, I'll do my best!" I retorted, equaling his forward step. As I looked up at him, I noticed just how much taller he was than I. Pushing back my slight twinge of fear, I kept my eyes steady and my heart calm. There was a tension pulling and ebbing between us as we stood within inches of each other, neither stepping down. We both were too proud to back away.

I wondered then if I may have been right. Perhaps, deep within the man in front of me, was merely a boy who was frightened by the world. As I stared further into his eyes, I hit a wall. I couldn't see further than his barefaced hatred of me.

In a final symbol of his hate, his lips curled over his teeth in a sneer and he practically hissed, slamming me back against the wall. I felt my heart rate speed to an uncontrollable pace, my control fading. It beat relentlessly against my chest. I gasped, clutching my hand to my chest, when he turned on heel and walked away. His black cape billowed around his retreating body, making it appear that he had simply disappeared into the darkness that surrounded him.

With what strength I could muster, I made my way back into the bar. Theodore Nott stalked to my side, his eyes showing some vague form of concern. I knew that he expected Malfoy's reaction, but his nonchalant reaction made me hot with anger.

"You knew he would react like that!" I accused, pointing up at him.

He nodded his head slightly, grinning. "I knew. Of course I knew. I don't see how I couldn't have known. I mean, considering the fact that Draco and I have known each other since we were but small children."

Without forethought, I slapped him across the shoulder. "You should have stopped me!"

Nott gave me a sarcastic smirk. "You really think I could have stopped you? Ha!"

A smile broke on my face without thought. He was right. There would have been little he could do when I was in that kind of mood. Rolling my eyes, I conceded. "I feel that I have pissed him off thoroughly this time."

"That would be my guess as well." He replied. His eyes darted around the room before resting on me once more. I thought I saw a flicker of raw distress before it was hidden once more by his blasé exterior. "Come, would you like to visit Nott Manor? Dotty makes the best tea and I find myself in the mood for a good discussion."

I felt a bit confused by his offer and couldn't help but feel as if I was being tricked. Perhaps it was my distrustful self coming out. I pushed the feeling into a deep recess of my mind. "I would like that. Thank you."

As if sensing my vague apprehension, he leaned forward, smiling. "Think nothing of it. Believe it or not, Astoria Greengrass, I'm not as evil as people seem to think I am."

"Same thing could be said for most of us, right?" I asked, only half interested.

He froze in the process of pulling on his cape. The cape looked like it would swallow his thin form whole. "Yes. I suppose it very well could." He held out his hand, which I took, ignoring the jolt in my stomach before we disapparated.

Surely this won't be something I will regret, I thought somewhere between the two places.