Disclaimer: All characters belong to the great JKR.

Dose of Your Own

By: OurLoveIsForever

Chapter Four: Water

"You misunderstand me, Jenkins. I am asking if you believe my daughter to be worthy of the inheritance. I ask no more than that." My Father stated, his tone deadly. I leaned my head closer to the crack in the door. Father sat with his back to me, his hands articulating his words with tedious precision. "She is a disgrace. Four detentions within three months, indeed. She has publically humiliated us and Merlin help should another Pureblood clan rat us out to the Dark Lord. We could all be killed because of her."

"The girl feels that she was doing the right thing, be damned what you think."

Damn straight, I thought despite myself. They couldn't have been talking about me. Worthy of the inheritance? How would I survive on my own? How was I to look out for myself? If I was not worthy of the inheritance, I was as good as dead. I was not particularly remarkable in any aspects of my life. I was fairly street smart, but that didn't put galleons in your pockets. That didn't matter though, did it? I was of Greengrass blood...

"Carrow, tell me, just what have you done to her? She has been colder and more distant since her arrival for the holidays."

Suppressing my gasp, I listened harder. It couldn't be possible...

"Nothing too horrid, I assure you. Simply a couple Cruciatus Curses and her defiant streak became nothing more than a low growl. Before long, she won't even be growling." I felt my face heating up in anger. I had been tortured and my Father was doing nothing to stop it! If anything he was encouraging this!

My Father turned to Jenkins, a long, thin man of at least seventy years. His beady eyes glistened in the firelight. "What is your answer?"

"She is not worthy of the Greengrass Fortune. Her sister, Daphne, holds the truest traits of a Greengrass maiden. If you should place your hopes in that little girl, she will lead to disappointment. She is weak, a free mind…" My mind swam only catching certain words. "Weak…lethal…mortal…dangerous…"

I felt sick.

I felt sick as I leaned my head into my hand. My head was pounding relentlessly. Why was I remembering everything so vividly? It was nearly five years ago now! It was water under the bridge as far as I was concerned. They had made their decision. I was useless, worthless in their eyes. Nothing but the second daughter–

"Are you quite alright, Greengrass?"

"No." I responded automatically. My eyes widened. I hadn't meant to say that! It was none of his concern if I was perfectly well or sick in the head. "I mean, yes. Of course, I am."

He raised his eyebrows, sitting on the dark chestnut couch across from me. Nott raised the cup in his hand to his mouth, sipping out the delicious tea within. His thin legs were crossed right over the left.

Nott Manor was a warm and rather comfortable place. Dark wooden doors and flooring combined with the cozy colors of the walls made the rooms even more hospitable. It reminded me a bit of the Davis household, the home of one of my Slytherin friends from Hogwarts. They, too, had gone out of their way to make their home inviting. It contrasted greatly with the Greengrass homestead and Slytherin common room, dark, dank and forlorn.

"So, how are things with the Portkey office?"

"Disturbing, I believe." I said without thinking. What was wrong with me? I felt completely relaxed around this man but I never trusted anyone enough to confide my feelings on the current situation within the Ministry. Even so, I felt compelled to continue. "The recent breakout at Tremor Jaula prison on the Spanish coast has the higher ups concerned. I think that is why they refused so many requests to visit Azkaban." I felt a pull in my gut. Something was not right.

Gently, I took my cup into my hands and waited. As I raised the cup to my lips, I pinned Nott with a fierce glare. "If you want some sort of information, perhaps you should ask. Veritaserum? You are just as much of a jackass as Malfoy. It is just more understated with you. Two parts to a whole, the two of you! He's the outspoken prick and you are the quiet schemer!" Nott grinned at me, shaking his head. "You put it in my tea!"

"No, I most certainly did not."

"I don't divulge secrets to anyone."

"You just did."

"That's—"

His grin widened. "Uh oh, Astoria Greengrass…trusted someone?" He snickered behind his hand.

My glare became even more pronounced. "Merely a slip of the tongue." I had no reason to trust him! He was Draco Malfoy's right hand man. He was just as much of a wanker as well!

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Greengrass."

An awkward silence fell between us. Well, it was surely not awkward for him, sitting there as if he owned the place. Then again, he did own the place. Ah, I couldn't think straight.

What I said had been somewhat true. I didn't trust. "I don't trust." My voice was harsh, daring him to argue with me.

That was exactly what he did. "I don't believe that for a second. You trust too easily. That's why you are hurt all the time."

I huffed my disagreement. How could I trust too easily when I didn't trust at all? This man was making less and less sense with every word he spoke and I was beginning to regret my rash thinking.

"You don't believe me." A statement, not a question. At least he could state the obvious.

"I think you're full of shit."

The corners of his lips pulled up into a derisive smile. He slowly leaned forward to place his teacup gently on the silver platter between us. I watched him like a hawk, searching for any sign of a threat. "Example: you were hurt by your family, yes?"

"No, that doesn't work." I argued, shaking my head. A strand of dirty dishwater brown hair fell into my eyes. I irately pushed it back. "That has nothing to do with it. You are supposed to trust your family."

"Wrong. Trust must be earned." Nott spoke with so much charisma and conviction that I really had a hard time not believing him. Charm, that was what this was called, and he had it in spades. "You trust those Ravenclaws."

I had not thought of that. To some extent perhaps I did trust them, but they did not divulge their darkest secrets so I saw no reason for me to expose my own. We were caught, each waiting for the other to move. "No more than reason." My tone was sardonic, punctuated by the roll of my eyes.

"You tell them things that no one else knows."

"That's different. The things—"

"Is it really?" He leant forward, placing his elbows on his knees. His hands ran through his lank brown hair. For a moment, while he was actually interest in the conversation at hand, I thought that he could be rather handsome, but that thought passed quickly enough when he began to speak. "How am I any less trustworthy than them? I helped you twice with the Carrows. I remained out of 'trouble'. I never took the Dark Mark. I keep Draco from hexing your hair off—"

I snorted, going to finger the mentioned strands of pale brown hair. "Let him. He'd be doing me a favor."

Nott ignored me. "What's the difference here? Age? No. Lineage? I should think not. Slytherin?"

I had been in the process of retrieving my tea from the table when those words hit me. I froze. Was that what it came down to? I didn't 'trust' Slytherins? How could I not trust my own House? I was a Slytherin!

"The pot is calling the kettle black, my friend."

"I—" We were acquaintances! Certainly not friends!

"You are just as cold-blooded as the rest of us."

For a moment, I thought of walking away. Leaving would be the best answer. I could escape back to my flat and never see Theodore Nott again. The world was big enough, I could achieve it. As soon as I made the decision to simply flee this sharp sword of a man, there was a knock on the door to the parlor. "Nott, your bony ass better open this door! We need to talk!"

For the first time, I saw pure panic in Nott's green eyes. It was unbridled horror that washed his features. "No doubt to rant about you again." He muttered, jumping up. He approached me with a determined look in his eyes. I raised my hands, forgetting to reach for my wand. There wouldn't have been time anyway. Unceremoniously, he slipped his arms under my knees and shoulders, picking me up with ease.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered, angrily. "Put me down, you arsehole!"

"Yes, yes. You're very threatening. Now, will you shut up for one moment?" He turned to a large portrait of an absolutely stunning woman. She glanced up from her book and sighed.

"Yes? The password, if you please."

"Thestral." The portrait swung open to reveal a small annexed room. I gasped in shock. We possessed nothing like this at Greengrass Hall. Hastily, he sat me down. I stumbled to regain my balance and in my distraction, he walked out of the passage, freezing when Malfoy's voice came through the double doors once more.

"Nott! I know you're in there! That fleabag of a house elf told me. You know you can't ignore me."

"Damn it. For once I wish I could!" He spun on his heel. "Stay in here until I allow you out." His wand waved, closing the portrait. I started forward, pulling my wand out of my robes. Like hell I would stay in there! Before I could even begin to protest, the brute cut me off with a silencing charm. Just as he finished the spell, the other doors banged open. I could imagine the Great Prat striding in.

"Still haven't learned the concept of patience, eh, Draco?" Nott asked in a bored tone.

"Why should I?"

"Why, indeed." Nott responded, noncommittally. There was a deep huff from a distant part of the room along with the chink of glass. The damn fathead was fixing himself a drink while I was locked in this prison!

"Did you have a guest? Darjeeling…a lady guest?" A sadistic chuckle. I shivered at what that laugh implied. Men. "Am I interrupting?"

"Would you care if you were?" There was silence before: "That's what I thought."

"Well if the prudish Theo Nott has finally decided that getting some would be rather nice vacation from virginity, who am I to stop it?" They both laughed as if at some inside joke. The tone of the silence that followed could only be described as uncomfortable. "Why—"

"—were you drinking with 'the Grandest Bitch in Britain'?" I could hear the mocking tone in Nott's voice. I felt my hair standing on end with anger. The feelings were more than mutual. If he thought I was the biggest bitch, he had no idea who he was dealing with! "What a shock, Draco! I have other friends."

We're not friends, you great buffoon! I thought, rolling my eyes.

"You never buy women liquor."

"I didn't buy it. She bought it herself. Self sufficient to a fault, that one."

"That's not the point, Nott! The woman is a hag, an infection, a scourge..."

I continued to listen to Draco Malfoy rant about how I was the pinnacle of evil for nearly fifteen minutes. My own head pounded with irritation so much so that I could barely understand how Nott could endure it. The blond couldn't seem to calm down. He just continued and continued. I was conceited, a bigot (laughable, indeed), that all of the ills of the world flowed forth from me and infected all other aspects of life in general.

At some points during his rage, I wanted to laugh and during other moments, I wanted to cry.

"Lady, are you feeling quite well? You have sat in that spot for half an hour now. I worry for you down there." I jerked and glanced up to a painting on the wall. Sitting within the frame sat an elderly gentleman with Nott green eyes. Not bothering with silence, I stood to walk over to the frame.

"Sir?"

"Thomas Nott at your service, mi'Lady, but I must ask why you look so very miserable?" He raised his gray eyebrows in question. I raised my own, the sadness that I had been fending off hitting me with full force.

The walls seemed to close in with intensity unrivaled. The room was tiny, so very tiny. I had been so focused on Malfoy's voice that I had overlooked just what size room I was in. I tried desperately to keep my panic in check. Despite the dim light that filtered in from a small round window fifteen feet up, the room was dark and damp. My heart sped with my breaths. Oxygen was not reaching my lungs enough as my limbs began to tingle.

"M'lady?" The elderly Nott asked desperately. I could not answer. I could not breathe!

My only thought was to escape. I had to escape. If I didn't, there was no telling…

I dragged myself toward the heavy oak I had come through. With what strength I could muster, I threw my shoulder against the wood. Each time I slammed against it, a sharp pain was sent through my body. Damn this to hell, I thought. One final time, I hit the door. Nothing.

"Let me out!" I gasped, falling to the floor. The walls were closing in, boxing me into a tomb.

It was happening again! With no restraint, I allowed the tears to stream out of my eyes. I hated crying but when you are near complete collapse, one tends to lose restraint. Tears fell violently from my eyes and sweat beaded my brow.

I couldn't focus my eyes. They were looking into the past, into latent memories.

"Defiant whelp." Amycus Carrow spat down toward me. The horrible substance landed just beside me in the dirt. "I've heard from your dorm mates that you are afraid of small spaces?" I simply glared up at him. His head shook from side to side. "I'll never understand you children. You are the offspring of the New Age and yet you refuse to behave."

"I refuse to bow to anyone!" I yelled, my throat sore from screaming minutes earlier.

He let out a crazed cackle. "Yes, Davis said the same thing last night, but do you know that she is singing a different tune now?"

"I know that I will not change my song." I bit back, leaning against the wall, the edge of my dirtied skirt dusting against my knees.

"Five Slytherin usurpers! Not one person in the other Houses knows of you. We keep you a secret, a plaything in the background. You are merely tools now, complete fools for your cause." He pulled his wand from his black robes. "Now, you little twat, let's hear that Greengrass scream!"

He began to fill the cylinder oubliette with water from his wand. I stared up at him indifferently as the water lapped at my heels. What was his plan? Then I saw it, a thin invisible shield just five feel above my head.

I was trapped.

The water kept rising and rising, eventually reaching my shoulders. I still refused to scream, even with my nerves becoming ragged. No one would come. We were in the depths of the castle. It was Easter, late into the evening, within the dungeon rooms. These rooms were where students from every house were tortured. There seemed to be the misconception that students only from Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Hufflepuff were punished within those walls. There were five rebels from Slytherin: Tracey Davis, James Cash, Kale Riggens, Ing Freyer, and myself. All kept under wraps, all kept secret, far more cautious than that daft Dumbledore's Army. After all, who would want word spreading that even Slytherins were rebelling? Stuff like that wouldn't be good for public relations.

The water rose to six feet, lifting me off the floor. Dark, murky, dirty liquid surrounded me, mixed with the dirt from the floor underneath. I was sure that blood was mixed in, from my own wounds and from others that came before me.

Four more feet…three…two…

I was nearly submerged in the icy water, only my face remained above the surface. The whole time Amycus Carrow laughed and laughed over head. When I refused to beg for my life, he turned his back and began to walk away. "You're Father will be so disappointed."

The water began to rise again, but this time, the invisible shield had risen just another two feet to slightly prolong my suffering. I screamed.

"Greengrass!" A voice echoed through the dungeons. "Astoria!"

I snapped my eyes open.

A pair of gray eyes stared at me from mere inches away. I felt the hard stone floor under me. Glancing desperately around, I realized where I was. Those events had been long ago, long forgotten. I sat up quickly, making Malfoy jump backward to avoid getting hit.

"Are you—"

"I'm fine!" I said quickly, growing a bit dizzy. I placed my hand to my head to steady myself.

Malfoy snorted. "I was going to ask if you're insane, but I feel the question is rather unnecessary." He spun on heel and proceeded to whip out his wand. "Nott, care to explain this now?"

"No, not really." Nott shook his head, coming to kneel beside me, ignoring Malfoy's drawn wand entirely. "Are you truly okay? Thomas came to his other portrait alerting me of your attack. I should have thought. I apologize."

I shook my head. "Just help me stand. I need to return home."

"The hell you do! I want to know why you're here!" Malfoy yelled petulantly. "You shouldn't be here!"

"What are you? Four? Sometimes we don't get what we want. Shut the hell up and deal with it!" I snapped tiring of his ignorant attitude. My head was already throbbing so I certainly didn't need him screaming his indignation.

"Draco, leave her alone for one moment." Nott said tiredly.

"You will not order me ar—"

Nott leveled a fierce stare in Malfoy's direction and the blond immediately shut up his face becoming indifferent. I had never seen Draco Malfoy listen to anyone before. "Whatever." With seemingly nothing more to say, he strode from the room. Nott did not speak again until his footsteps faded into nothing.

"What was that all about?"

I didn't respond. He didn't need to know. I was completely fine now so there was certainly nothing to worry about.

"Astoria, tell me what happened."

Gently, in the most understated of gestures, he took my hand. I stared at where his slightly tanned skin met my pallid complexion. For a moment, I sat completely stunned. His hand was smooth and yet calloused at the same time as if covered by tiny scars. I had never felt anything like it. The overwhelming urge to tell him all that I had ever thought came over me, but I fought it back.

It seemed that was all I ever did: fight my feelings back.

"Claustrophobic." I murmured softly, so softly that he had to lean down to hear me to listen again. "I have claustrophobia."

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to laugh, but it may have just been a play of light for he gave me a solemn expression the next second. "Was it…"

"The Carrows? Yes."

"They always played on the worst fears of those they tortured." He growled in his throat and stood, walking toward the other side of the room. "What did they do?"

"That's none of—" I stopped, giving him a once over. He had invited me to tea, hid me from the Great Prat, and saved me from my own nightmare. Even in school, he had saved me in some sense. Who was I to be a bitch to this man? I sighed, mentally defeated. "I was nearly drowned in the dungeons on Easter my fifth year." My voice was cold, with little emotion. I turned off any feeling that I had toward the matter. I could compartmentalize with the best of them.

"That's why… I didn't know." He ran his hand roughly through his hair. I could see his shoulders tighten in his anger. "Damn them! How could they?" His voice was growing louder and louder. "We were only children! What were we to do? If I had known, oh Merlin, if I had known how bad…" I watched him with sick curiosity. I had never seen Theodore Nott even show a semblance of true emotion before. Now, he was overflowing with it. Suddenly and with an intensity I had never beheld before, he locked gazes with me. "I should have stopped it. I could have. My Father was high enough that I could have worked the strings, but I was too scared…too immature to save anyone's hide but my own. I-I'm sorry."

The scariest thing happened then and I'm not sure what caused it, or what price would come of it. I was unaware if the planets had aligned or the hellhounds were roaring somewhere in the distance, but in my haze, I moved forward, wrapping my arms around the man in front of me. He looked so pathetic, so much like a victim that I couldn't stop myself. Even if he was Draco Malfoy's friend, I still felt a connection with this man that I hadn't felt for years.

I won't regret this, I thought.

"Nott, none of us could help what happened. It's just something we must live with."