Chapter six
Damon wiped the sweat from his brow. It was Saturday morning and he had hoped to spend it sleeping in, cuddling close and keeping Alex out of trouble. Instead they were down in the mausoleum cleaning and preparing the room for her use.
"Maybe I'll tell Stefan to put me down here if you know… my body ever has to be disposed of." Damon said looking into the holes cut in the wall, where she now had candles and bottles of herbs, powders and gris-gris that he had no desire to know about.
"Not only is that morbid, I don't have room for you down here. You're just going to have to stay amongst the undead a while longer." Alexandra said.
Damon gave her a look. "I wasn't meaning any time soon." He told her.
"Good." She said sliding her arms around him. "But you know that's not a bad idea though… for in the distant future. Very distant future. Maybe I'll join you. There's enough places prepared. "
"Together forever?" He asked.
"One relationship or another… yeah."
"I like that." Damon said. "I stopped adding the willow bark to my blood this morning." He told her.
"You what?" She asked incredulously.
"You heard me. I told you yesterday what was going to happen."
Alex walked away from him. "No, you don't get to decide to be vulnerable." She told him "I don't have anything else prepared. You can't do things like this Damon. I won't let you."
"Then we'll get something prepared. You can initiate your workspace with it. "
"I've never done anything like that before. I don't even know if it will work." She started working again, moving about the room quickly and with purpose, as if she were cleaning at him instead of with him.
"Then we'll test it. " He moved in between her and the small shelf they had brought down. "We'll test it and if it doesn't work I'll start taking the willow again, alright? Let me take care of you like I used to. "He said. "You need me at your back if you are going to take on another necromancer. Especially one as powerful as you think this guy is. "
"Things are different now." Alex said stepping around him. "I can't do that to you. Not anymore."
"You're not doing it to me. I'm doing this with you. I know our relationship is unconventional, but I'm still your only protection. Why do you have to fight me so hard? "
"Because this isn't make believe for me." She snapped. "Because your emotions may be created by the bond but mine aren't."
"What?" He asked, taking a half step back from her.
"Why do you think I keep coming back, Damon? Do you think I have nothing better to do than come running when you need me? Do you think that I set myself up as your girlfriend instead of your master because I like head games?"
"Sacha…"
"I know." She said. "I do. I've always known. First it was Katherine, now its Elena. I know. But I care what happens to you. So no, you do not get to walk around defenseless. No we are not taking a chance on an experiment that may or may not work. "She stared at him for what seemed to her to be an eternity. "Say something."
"I'm so sorry." He said finally.
She nodded. "Yeah. Okay." She said "Go home, Damon. Just go home."
"Sacha-"
"Go home!" She yelled, pushing her will through the bond. She needed him to go, she had revealed too much of herself and he wasn't ready for it. He would probably never be ready for it and now it felt as if she were forcing herself on him.
Damon took another step back and sped out of the mausoleum and back to the bed and breakfast at top speed. He entered the door growling. He shoved everything off the nearest table to the floor then sent the table sailing after it. The book case toppled over crashing into a chair, another table crashed into the wall, breaking apart, taking a nearby picture with it.
"Damon!" Stefan yelled as he ran down the stairs and somewhat cautiously toward his brother. "Damon calm down."
The older Salvatore stood staring at the younger, his breathing hard and irregular as he struggled to control his emotions. "I think." He said and took another long breath. "I need a drink." He walked over to one of the few pieces of furniture in one piece, the bar, and poured a glass of bourbon.
"What the hell happened?" He asked, setting his book aside stepping closer still to his brother who downed his drink, refilled it and moved away.
"I trashed the parlor. I would think that was obvious, Stefan." Damon said sarcastically.
"I was thinking more along the lines of what drove you to trash our home."
Damon shook his head. "I should never have come back here, you know that? I should have stayed as far away from this town as possible."
"Whoa, back up, did you and Alex have a fight?"Stefan asked, completely confused.
"It was a lot simpler before I came back. Katherine was in her tomb or so I thought . I had never met Elena… " Another empty glass quickly refilled.
Stefan tucked the book he was carrying under his arm, picked up the bottle and another glass. "Come on. " He said leading the way to the kitchen and the table there. "Sit down, and tell me what really has you upset."
Damon finished his drink and poured another one. "She said she loved me." His voice cracked.
Stefan did his best not to laugh. "Damon you two are all over each other. You say you love each other all the time. Why is that suddenly a terrible thing?"
"She didn't say I love you, she said … she meant that she loved me. "
"Again I'm failing to see the problem"
"I choked." Damon told him. "I told her I was sorry. She knows how I …."
"Feel about Elena." Stefan finished for him.
" I never wanted to hurt her- I never thought that she would actually fall in love. Not with a vampire." He poured another glass of bourbon.
"Easy brother." Stefan said and pulled the bottle away before another instant refill could happen. "How do you feel about her?"
"Right now like I've just lost my best friend… again." He said with a sigh.
"Think she'll give up on you just because you choked?"
"No. I think she'll rip my heart out of my chest and feed it to me. Literally." Damon slowed down with the current glass . He wasn't ready to fight his brother for the bottle.
"I don't think it's the literally part you're worried about."
Damon glared at him.
"Tell me I'm wrong."
The glare intensified, only to be met with an amused look from Stefan.
"You're afraid to fall in love again. "
Damon scoffed. "Don't go getting me confused with you. I am not the emo brother."
"Just go buy her some flowers, graveyard dust and coffin nails, whatever it is that makes her feel all warm and fuzzy, go over there and apologize. Man up. They're only scary when their crying."
"That's what you think." Damon said, but he almost smiled.
Stefan left Damon to his bourbon and went outside. He took out his phone and called Bonnie. "I think you're right. He's enthralled. What do we do about it?"
"I don't know yet. I don't think she'll hurt him. Everybody else might be in danger if we aren't careful though. I'll keep looking for a spell to break the bond. Any idea why she would be looking for Tyler though?"
"None. Jeremy is going to be trying to get that information out of her during their sessions. I've got to find a way to keep closer tabs on Damon without either of them figuring out I know the truth."
"He'll be alright." Bonnie said."Just keep that in mind. He'll be alright." Not that she cared what happened to Damon. He deserved anything that happened. It was Jeremy that she was worried about. Particularly if there was a chance he could contact Tyler.
Caroline sat on Matt's sofa and sighed. "Something's going on." She said. "Bonnie's different, Elena's different…"
"Care, so are you." He said smiling at her. "It's okay. People change. We grow up."
"This is different. It's not growing up its growing weird." She said. "Bonnie is freaking more than I am about someone looking for Tyler. Elena is … I don't know what she is but she's different. "
"She's weirded out by Alexandra. That's all. She didn't expect Damon to move on. I guess she thought he'd always be hovering in the background waiting for her to change her mind. " Matt reasoned.
"She totally loves Stefan more. I don't get the need to have them both. Must be a doppelganger thing. Apparently Katherine couldn't make up her mind either except to torment Damon."
"Glad to be out of that weird romantic … what is it now… a trapezoid? We've gone way past triangle." He said handing her a beer.
"I think you're right." Caroline laughed. "I don't know… I kinda like Alex. I definitely like her influence on Damon. He's fun when he isn't one big ball of angry sarcasm and pain." Not that the pain had been obvious. All that had been obvious to her when she'd first met him was that he was mean and liked way too much control.
"Guess there was a reason Mr. Saltzman didn't just stake him in his sleep." Matt said smiling. "So what do you think is going on with Bonnie. We can pretty much write Elena off to weird adjustment period "
"I don't know. But you know, Mrs. Lockwood called me to go over to her place last week. She was asking if it was possible that Tyler was still alive." She said. "You don't think it's possible do you? Cause that … as much as I want him back, it would mean that Klaus is still alive."
"Tyler's not alive." Matt said. "You can believe that. He'd never leave you behind. "
Caroline smiled a little sadly. "I know."
"Flowers." Damon said as he looked through the florist shop. Well he had no idea what kind of flowers to get her. He was pretty sure Roses were out. Everyone gave roses. He walked over to the cooler and smiled. "How many of these do you have?" He asked, looking at the magnolias in a vase. He left 20 minutes later with a bouquet of Magnolias, Gardenias, Night blooming Jasmine and ivy.
He was nervous as he drove toward Fell's Church road. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He hadn't known how to respond. His life had been spent pursuing what he couldn't have. He didn't know how to deal with a normal relationship. Wow there was something he never expected to think. Normal relationship. Ironic the closest thing to normal in his life was his relationship with the necromancer he was bound to.
There was no light on in the house as he came up the long drive. "no no no don't have left already." He parked the car and went inside the house turning on the lights as he went. Her things were still there, and he let out a long sigh of relief. He lay the flowers down on the table and ran for the mausoleum and down into the lower level.
"Sacha… "he said and paused noticing she was in the middle of a spell. "What are you doing?" She rarely did actual spell work. It was taxing and tended to send up a beacon to the spirits.
"Letting you go." She said as she took out the vial of blood she had taken just for just this occasion.
"You don't have to do that." He said stepping closer to her. "I don't want you to do that. I'm sorry. I'm a dick. I know that. You should know that by now. I didn't say things how I meant to say them earlier. " he stepped closer. "I need you, Sacha ."
She shook her head. "You're stronger than you think . You don't need me to give you strength or resolve or even to keep your attention off of Elena." She said as she added the blood to the bowl.
"That has nothing to do with why I need you." He told her. "Come on, I brought flowers and everything. I'll even take that damned concoction if you want me to. "
"Tell me that in the morning." She said using a candle to ignite the contents of the bowl. "I can't pretend anymore, Damon." She stirred the ashes, touching them with her finger. "I need that illusion of hope, more than I need the illusion of love." She touched his forehead, then grabbed him, easing him down to the floor instead of letting him hit the ground.
"Seriously? Don't blow it, Damon. " Alaric said staring down at his friend on the ground. He shook his head. "You have to be careful. People are changing. "
"What?" Damon asked.
"You okay?" She asked.
"I don't know. Did you just break up with me?" He asked, not moving from where he was.
"No." She said.
"Good. " He told her. "Cause… I brought flowers. You can't break up with a guy that brings you flowers. "
She laughed then and leaned over to kiss him. "God you're insane, but I love you."
Damon sat up and caressed her face gently before kissing her. "I would love to be in love with you." He said honestly. "Give me time?"
"I've been giving you time since Baton Rouge. I've got no reason to stop now."
"Good." He said standing and helping to her feet. "And now you have to find an alternative to the herbs because I'm no longer protected from possession or witches." He pointed out."Unless you want to –"
"You said you would take them" She paused looking at him incredulously.
"I said that to keep you from breaking the bond. You broke it, so I'm no longer obligated."
She sighed in frustration and headed out of the Mausoleum. "Fine. I'll work on something you can wear if you promise to take the herbs until I get it done."
"You'll actively work on it? I know you. You're as slippery as I am." He told her. "It's one of the reasons I really enjoy you, but this is serious."
"Yes it is, that's the point it's serious." She said sharply then sighed. "I have something in mind already. Its source is a little … unpleasant but it should work."
"Define unpleasant." He said taking her hand as they walked.
"It's made of bone." She said. "But don't worry… the spirit connected to the bone, was willing to make the sacrifice in exchange for help crossing over."
"Bone doesn't bother me."
"Good we'll work on it tomorrow then. If it works I can merge some of it with your ring. Or create another ring. "
"No reason not to do both." He said. "back up. Is there enough to make one for you as well?" Damon asked. "Embed a little essence of vervain in it. Should work by the same principle and it would keep you safe as well."
"Matching rings? People will talk." She said laughing, but it was a good idea.
"Let em" Damon said with a shrug. "No one needs to know what they are for. I do mean no one."
She looked at him quizzically.
"Taking to heart the warning of a friend of mine." He told her. "He said to watch out, people are changing. He likes you though."
"Ah the man I saw at your house. He does what he can to watch over Jeremy as well. He was just beaten out of vicinity when the kid was swarmed."
"Ric… the real him… was a good guy." He explained the rest of the story as they walked back to the house.
"And this is why my mother warned me off of vampires." She said. "You are nonstop drama. Fortunately for you I never listen to my mother."
Damon opened the door for her and let her inside he smiled as she spotted the flowers on the table. He loved the way her face lit up when she smiled, the girlish way she rushed to scoop them up and breathe in their scent. There was so much he loved about her. Now if he could just actually learn to love HER.
"They're perfect, " she told him going to get a vase to put them in.
"That mean I'm forgiven?" He asked going to get a glass of bourbon.
"There was never anything to forgive. I wasn't mad at you for not loving me, Damon." She said. "I was mad at me for forcing you to feel the same."
"I knew the difference between real and unreal, Sacha."
"Doesn't matter now." She said. "We're okay. You have your free will again and we have a compromise on the whole protecting you from other necromancers thing. "
"Yes. However my brother can keep drinking the stuff along with the vervain." He said.
She set the flowers on the island separating the kitchen from the rest of the house, and admired them a moment longer before walking over to him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome" He said caressing her face. He wasn't in love with her, but he did love her and even if he could never fall the rest of the way, he'd make sure she never knew. He had spent his entire life chasing after a woman he could never have. He'd do whatever it took to make sure she never knew that pain.