I hate my alarm clock like a fat kid hates a diet. It would've been nice to have that alarm clock the beeps like a madman until you shut it off or break it even. But no, I had to get Sapphire as my alarm clock and she much worse. She'll jump on my bed and make all this noise; the worst part is that there is no snooze button. That's how I woke up for the first day of senior year of high school. I was still sleeping soundly, dreaming of Sora and how I wanted him to come home already along with Roxas. Then I felt another body mass jump on my fluffy bed what seemed like a million times. I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to push her off, but she was just as stubborn as me.
"Leave me alone." I muffled through the bed sheets.
"I wish I could but you need to get up; it's the first day of school, remember?"
"Oh, I remember alright…"
"Well then, come on and get your lazy ass out of bed." She continued while pulling all the nice and warm covers off of me.
I growled at her as I finally sat up. She was already dressed, but her hair was still looking like bed head. I chuckled and threw myself onto the floor. I hated school…but mostly it was because of that damn uniform they made us wear. I mean a white blouse with a blue plaid skirt? I never liked wearing bright colors, unlike my sister Sapphire here. Why must the girl's of my generation show off unnecessary skin… an image of Kairi popped into my head and I couldn't help but laugh to my empty room.
"Alright Rose, hurry up and get dressed; I'll meet you downstairs ok?"
With that, she got up and gracefully left my room. I rolled my eyes and picked myself up to get ready for this horrible first day. After taking about a good thirty minutes, I ran downstairs and sat down next to Sapphire; my expression was the same as always when I was at school: annoyed. Sapphire sighed, got up and helped pull my hair back in a blue ribbon. I sighed and looked up to the ceiling, which held a gold chandelier.
"Don't worry, I miss them just as much as you do, but cheer up, they're going to come back sooner than you think." She tried reassuring me.
"I know but…"
"They'll be home soon, and then, things will go back to the way were, you'll see." She turned me around and smiled.
I gave her a fake smile back. I loved how she was so positive with everything. No matter how dark everything may seem, she always finds some light to keep her smiling. But if only she knew the truth; I would've told her myself, but I could never bring myself to do it. Why bring her down? So I just act like nothing was wrong and pretended that they were off visiting an old family relative. After she finished putting my very long hair in a pretty ponytail, and I did the same for her. After, we sat down to eat our breakfast and just in time for our parents to show up and join us. They already dressed in their best clothes and ready to start their first day of work. Both of our fathers were bankers, while our mothers worked with fashion. Typical jobs for rich parents I suppose.
"Are you girls ready for you first day?" My mother asked the both of us.
"I guess…" I mumbled looking down at the polished table.
"You know we still could put you in a private school…"
"Mother, the place is already turning into a public school; why bother moving us?"
"Well, there are those boys…" her voice trailed off.
"Please do not start with that crap this morning." My hand balled up into a tight fist.
Sapphire looked at me and then to her untouched eggs. She never spoke her mind, especially when it came on this subject, and to me, that was her one and only flaw. I could feel my mother's cold eyes on me, filled with horror from my language. I looked back up at her with a glare.
"What did you just say to me?" she asked breathlessly, like I had committed a murder.
"I have to get to school; Come on Sapphire." I replied bitterly and pushed harshly away from the table.
I could tell that Sapphire was becoming very uneasy from the whole conversation for she pushed away from the table very quickly and was following right behind me. But it seemed like my mother was not done scolding me for what I had just said or for being with Sora and Roxas for so long…Sora… even just thinking of his name now caused my heart to sting. I closed my eyes tight and tried to escape from this damned place, but my mother took a strong hold of my arm.
"Don't walk away from me when I am speaking to you!"
"I'm going to be late for school."
"I don't care if you're three hours late from school! You are going to apologize to me right now."
I didn't respond, for I had no reason to. Why should I say sorry for something like this? All I was doing was telling her to cut the crap and let me leave to school at least somewhat happy, instead of going looking like I was about to die inside. The longer the silence went on, the tighter my mother's hand felt around my wrist. Sapphire was looking at both my mother and I, scared of what to do.
"You used to be so proper…I knew it was a bad idea for you to go to that public school…" she sneered.
"At least I have some right to stand up for myself, instead of being a coward!"
There was a loud slap that echoed throughout the dining room. Sapphire was now by my side, glaring at my mother. I put a hand towards my face, feeling it to be very warm from the impact. I could hear my mother's heavy breathing, trying to regain her composer. It made me sick on how she tried being so proper. I looked at her and shook my head. There were no words I could say to her. Sapphire helped up from the cold polished floor… I didn't even know I had fallen. From there, I got my bag and slammed the door behind me.
The sun was still coming up the horizon, making everything a peaceful red color. I could care less however. I rubbed my sore cheek looking down at the dirt ground. The walk was quiet and tense. Sapphire's eyes kept wondering from me to the sky. I knew she was worried about me. The relationship between my mother and I wasn't one that I liked to talk about. After walking in silence for so long, Sapphire finally spoke.
"Maybe your mother wouldn't be so mean if you told her more things that go on in your life."
"Are you kidding me? If I told her about the things I feel for she would disown me on the spot! And you're one to talk about my parents. I mean, you're no better than me."
Sapphire quickly looked down at the ground and didn't say anything more. I shook my head, trying to stop my tears again. It's like my eyes were broken or something, for I haven't been able to stop crying since I returned home from the night… I stopped in my tracks and looked overhead to the school and then behind to where the island was. Sapphire pulled me to school, already knowing my plans of skipping. But what was the point in even going? If he wasn't there, why even bother? She stopped suddenly, making me bump into her. When I looked up at her, she had a very concerned look. I turned away, not wanting to look her in the eye.
"I know, it hurts me too, but they'll be back soon… But what's going on with you? You act as if they're in some type of danger… What are you not telling me?"
I don't have the heart to tell her. What was I supposed to say? If I told her the truth, she would surely go crazy and never speak to me again… I didn't want her to carry this burden with me. This was something I could only know… If she knew… Who knows what she would do. No… this was the one and only thing that we cannot share. I want her to keep going on being happy and full of life; being sad and upset was my job anyway. When I didn't answer, she just sighed and continued onward. My legs seemed to do the walking for me while my mind was still in the distance. I sighed and looked up to see her still walking ahead of me.
"I just miss them a lot and you know how they are, well Sora anyway. I'm just worried that he'd fallen and hurt himself already." I lied through my teeth.
She turned to me and gave "that" look. The look when she tried to see through my words and see if there is any truth behind them. I looked at her in the eye to help back up my lies; I have done this so many times with my mother and many other types of authority that it didn't seem to be that big of a problem to do, but I never did it to Sapphire… unless I had to. She stared at me for a little longer before giving me a smile and grabbing me into a tight hug. I kept smiling but at the same time I was punching myself in the gut on the inside. As we walked, more people started to appear and everything was acting like nothing was ever wrong or going on. Sapphire laughed with Selphie while the boys were joking around and trying to act the alpha male. I was the only one lost in my thoughts that everything outside my body seemed like a dream. When we reached the school, the bell had already ringed and everyone started going at a quick pace to class. Sapphire had said her goodbyes and left me to fend for myself.
"Ohhh hey Rose!" I heard a voice call from behind me.
"And so the nightmare begins." I growled, and turned with a smiling face to Kairi, who was running at her fastest pace to catch up to me.
"Thanks for waiting;" she said while getting a paper out of her pocket and looking it over, "Hey it looks like we have the same class." She smiled again.
Something was up with her. Last time I checked, she wanted to put six feet under and now she acts like she wants to make friendship bracelets. I smiled back a little as my feet turned to walk into the class, with Kairi following behind me, going on and on about how her summer was such a bore, considering that her dear old boyfriend was gone with the wind. But since when has that stopped her from having any fun? I know what kind of girl she is and just because her "one and only love" has disappeared, it doesn't stop her from lifting her skirt to every guy that shows slight interest. When we reached our seats, she plopped down right next to me, still with that smile on her face. I couldn't take it anymore for some odd reason. Maybe it comes from the fact that I know all of this is act to get something out of me or to rub something in my face like she always does. I didn't have time to confront her, for the teacher had already started class and I would like to stay out of the office for the first day at least. My eyes kept wondering back to her, trying to figure out what was with the whole nice act. The whole day went on like that. Every time the bell would ring she would be waiting for me or catching up to me. Sapphire found this very strange as well, for she also knew what kind of person Kairi was to me. She gave me a look a few times but all I could do was shrug and we just kept on walking, tuning out Kairi whenever she opened her mouth. When she finally kept quiet for more than two minutes I finally looked at her.
"Hey is something wrong?"
"Nothing just wondering if…" her voice trailed off as she pulled out phone to look through its contents. She sighed when the thing she was looking for didn't seem to appear.
"Are you alright?" I asked again.
She put away and smiled at me, but this time there was a hint of a smirk behind those pretty little teeth.
"I was just hoping Sora called me or something. He's been talking to me constantly since he got a phone; he's been calling everyone to see what they're up to."
My heart felt like it had stopped beating. She had to be lying. I mean, I went to the castle myself, and talked to Roxas myself, and he told me exactly what was going on. I heard and saw everything straight from the source. There was no way that he could talk to her, or anybody outside of the damned place. I could feel my head going in circles with questions I wanted to ask her; where was he? How was he doing? Has he said anything about coming home sooner? My hand slowly went over my heart as if that would shock it back to pulsing blood throughout my body. My eyes moved to her, and her face had completely changed back to her normal glares and smirks.
"Has he… just called you?" My voice managed to say.
"Yes, I know everything that's going on with him. Don't tell me that he hasn't made any contact with you." She made a theatrical gasp.
My mind quickly snapped back into my own world. I knew where Sora was not her; she was probably just trying to bring whatever happiness I have left down. I just shook my head and made a small laugh. She looked at me strangely like I was broken or something. My eyes didn't look hurt which must've surprised her, for she took a small step back, trying to think of something to counter with before the words even came out of my mouth.
"It's funny that you should say that because no one else has said anything about Sora or Roxas, even Sapphire which, need I remind you, is Roxas's girlfriend so I would he'd do the same in calling her as well don't you think?" I smirked.
"I'm not surprised you don't believe me. You've always been the one to stay in denial until the ugly truth comes out and rips out your heart." She sighed.
"What ugly truth? There's nothing truthful about your claim of Sora or anything. If you are telling me the truth then show some damn proof, and I don't mean messages; I want to hear his voice."
My insides were laughing. I knew more about him then she ever did. She never knew anything about him. She merely uses him to make some kind of statement to everyone on the school grounds. She shrugged and pulled out her phone with ease, without any hesitation or fear. That's something I didn't expect, I thought to myself. She handed to me with her voicemail number already punched in. Suddenly, my heart felt like it sank into my stomach and a lump started forming in my throat. I pressed the call button and time just seemed to stop when her messages began to play through.
"Hey Kairi, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I finally was able to get a phone and call some people; Of course you would the first one I'd call. I also wanted to tell you that I might be coming back into town soon…"
Other messages said similar things along those lines; about much he misses her and everyone else and how she should keep it secret to everyone that he was going to be coming back. Hearing his voice was like music that was never loud enough to hear or long enough to enjoy its sweet sound. But I thought he was locked away… I thought that he was going to be in that place for a whole year and I now I find out that he might be coming in a matter of weeks? But there's just no way, Roxas told me so… She had to be lying. But it was the exact tone of his; it had the same warmth the same caring sound, everything. How was she able to pull something like that off unless…
I didn't say a word, for my voice felt like it dried up completely. Everything felt like it was falling apart. My mind and my heart were having an all out war. My head was yelling to believe Kairi because she would the first one Sora would call, but my heart was screaming that she was lying about everything. But what could I believe? What if she really was saying the truth and she was just waiting for the right time to rub it in my face? That wouldn't surprise me. She looked up at the ceiling suddenly and smiled her usual smile and waved. Her words were inaudible as she turned and skipped away. I stared and at the back of her head until it was nothing more than a small annoying red dot. Everything seemed to get dead quiet as the minutes seemed to pass by. It wasn't until Pence, one of Roxas's close friends, came to my aid, trying to snap me out of my mind. Everything he tried to do, I didn't hear or feel. It was if I was standing outside my body watching myself. He pushed me hard, making fall into the lockers. I looked up at him with slight anger.
"I'm sorry, but I had to. It was like you weren't even conscious."
"It's alright."
"I saw Kairi hanging out with you all day today. I guess she finally got under your skin?" he chuckled.
"Something like that… It's just… Have you heard anything from Sora or Roxas?" I asked suddenly; this was my only chance to know the truth before I went insane… Wow. Sora might actually drive me into another type of insanity. And all of this was just because of what Kairi was saying? I think I love him a little too much.
"Um not really, I haven't heard a thing since Roxas had said they were going to see some family up in Twilight Town. If that's what Kairi is telling you, brush it off your shoulder. Besides, even if she has some proof, it's probably just some friend sending her all that stuff. Don't worry Rose; you'll see Sora sooner than you think." He smiled.
"Thank you Pence."
He was right. Out of all the people I should even consider about thinking she knows anything besides rumors, was Kairi. What was I getting all worked up for? He was still going to remember me no matter how hard those damned Organization people try and erase me from his memories. I was being ridiculous and over thinking everything once again. Everything will work out for the better and soon, it will all be back to the way it was. With saying my thanks and goodbyes to Pence, I now went to my next class, which I was super late for. I now know why Kairi left so quickly back there. And here I thought it was just her way of showing some victory over me. Everything about the remainder of the day was just the same old same old, minus my favorite person in the world. As I looked up into the setting sky as we walked home from school, all I could and think about was him. My heart started pounding very fast with every step I took. Sapphire always seemed to notice of everything going on with me and she couldn't help but giggle to herself. I looked over to her and just smiled as well.
"Someone seems to be in a better mood since this morning."
"Well after Kairi let me be, I was able to think straight again."
"I ran into Pence earlier today… He told me about the encounter he had with you today."
My smile disappeared as I looked toward the distant island, where everything seemed to make sense there. Sapphire had had enough with my moping, for she dropped her stuff and pulled me back in front of her. I admit I am acting down a little bit, but wouldn't you be the same if you're one and only love was ripped away from and you were powerless to do anything about it? I tried turning my head away, but one of her hands came below her chin and forced me to look at her face.
"What is going on with you? Ever since we had word about Sora and Roxas being gone you've been acting like something horrible is going on with them. You're taking this a lot harder than me and, unlike you who keeps her feeling bottled up inside like a scared dog, I actually have one of them as my boyfriend so you better spit out. What you know about them, because I can tell whenever you're hiding something from me."
Her words struck me to the core, making my heart pound against my chest. Why was she so determined to share this burden with me? I understand everything that she says, but she doesn't need to know this. Yet why can't she see through my actions and eyes that this is something I don't want her to carry with me? Why must she push the subject? I moved my eyes to the ground and didn't answer her. She wasn't giving up that easily for never let me go, and her hand started to squeeze my shoulders. I couldn't tell her, if that means that she has to stop talking to me for awhile then so be it. I took in a small breath of air, ready for the consequence that I was about to be given.
"I'm sorry Sapphire but I really can't tell you; it's something I must carry on my own and something that I know will break your heart especially considering the fact that will be awhile before the right person decides to tell you… If that's not the answer you're looking for then I'm sorry but I just can't tell you."
With that being said, I pulled away from her and started walking ahead of her. I was tired of looking at her face and her interrogation. I half expected her to come behind me and try again or at least trying hitting me with a rock or something. But she just followed behind me quietly. With Sora being gone I'm not exactly myself. It's like a part of me resides with him and without him by my side day after day, I'm just an incomplete person walking the world, trying to find her other half. She sighed as her eyes stared at the back of my head. She was right on some levels, but did she really have to say it so mean? When we reached our street, Sapphire ran ahead of me and as I looked over to her running figure, I saw tears falling into the wind.
"They better get home soon… All in one piece too." I thought to myself as I looked up to the clouds.
This year was going to be tough but I just needed to stand up and let things be the way they are. What could I do at this point? No matter what I'm powerless to stop whatever they're doing to him and at least Roxas is there making sure everything goes smoothly. I'll just smile for him… and hopefully that will be enough to keep me going.
The following months of school began to slowly turn into routine. Every day became the same old thing. Wake up, take crap from my mother, and get to school to take crap from Kairi, walk home and then the cycle repeats. After a while, school had gotten better since I just let my worries of Sora go into the depths of my mind. It was very difficult but I was eventually back to my normal self… or at least what was left of me. Sapphire must've noticed my brave smiles for whenever she looked at me I could tell that her looks were concerned and sympathetic. But nothing was going to make me open that door for as long as he was away from me. Only then will my smiles be real. It took all of my strength to keep myself busy. It was the first time that my grades were solid A's and B's. My parents never took notice to them as always, but the grades weren't for them, they were him; to show him that when he returns that I was doing alright with him gone. Everything was going fine and dandy and I thought life was going to have to be like this for awhile and I was starting to be content with the fact that he might not ever come back, that he might not even remember me when he comes back; Yeah I was starting to let my love for someone that I knew I was never going to have, slip even more into the door that I had intended to lock up and throw away the key. But fate just loves to throw curve balls at me. I mean, really it must be true because first it takes the one person I loved with my whole heart away from me. The next, I'm sitting in my seat, waiting for the cycle to take its course, when suddenly the door opened and the one who had my heart had returned…