DISCLAIMER – Stargate: Atlantis is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. This is a work of fan fiction only. I am making no profit and no copyright infringement is intended.

Dr. Itzhak Perlman is my original character

RATING – This story is rated T

ARCHIVE – Feel free to archive this story if you wish.

A/N – First of all, I want to say thank you once again to everyone who has been reading this story (there certainly seem to be a lot of you!) and especially to those who have left me such wonderfully encouraging reviews!

Okay, now it's time for the shout-outs! Thanks to NenyaVilyaNenya & nwfairy for enlightening me about male Sues and adding the term "GaryStu" to my fan fiction vocabulary. Thanks also to 001ElvenWarrior for the suggestion that male Sues should be called "JoeBob". I really, really liked that, and now you'll all have to watch out for my JoeBob fic! -mad laughter- Yes…I am 99 certain I'm going to attempt to write a Sue fic, as scary as that seems. (I've heard there's actually a MarySue Challenge, somewhere, but I haven't actually seen the challenge in print…-shrug-)

Anyway, here's chapter Twelve for you. This one's somewhat lighter in tone than the last chapter, but it's got John and Rodney together with the virtual reality kids, so how could it not be light? Enjoy!

I have no beta, so all mistakes are mine.

All Fun And Games

12. Are Two Heads Better Than One?

Getting Carson and his two patients out of the room had been a lot easier than John had anticipated. He'd imagined himself and Carson attempting to convince Itzhak and Radek they needed to leave the room, only to be met by irrational arguments and vehement protests. Much to John's relief, the undertaking had been relatively trouble free, which was more than he could have said about the way his day had been going so far.

As it turned out, Radek had been more than glad to go when Carson told him that he'd be safer in the corridor. The engineer went out of the room on his own with no fuss at all, though he peered anxiously around the edge of the door until Carson and John emerged from the room again with Itzhak.

Itzhak had been a bit more difficult to manage, but John had expected that. He appeared to be in a far worse condition than Radek. The engineer was capable of being reasoned with to a degree, and although he was clearly frightened, he seemed to understand that the things he saw and heard weren't real. On the other hand, no amount of persuasion could convince Itzhak that he was still in Atlantis with his friends and that he hadn't been critically wounded by enemy fire in the middle of some war. In the end, John and Carson had to carry him into the corridor.

With the belief that his three friends were safe for the time being, John re-entered the Ancient room and went back to the second device. This time, when he let the machine's contact points touch his hands and head, he knew exactly what to expect. He was able to relax his body beforehand, which only increased the pleasurable sensation he felt when the device induced him to close his eyes.

John felt the now-familiar sensation of drifting weightlessly. He told himself that he needed to open his eyes right away, but the floaty feeling was so enjoyable that he let himself drift for a few extra moments. Vaguely, he wondered if he should be worried about what the machine was doing to him, but just like the last time he'd experienced this phenomenon, he decided he didn't really care

When he finally managed to open his eyes, he found himself in the white room where he'd begun The Game. All the stuff he'd created the last time was still there, right down to the bowl of popcorn between the two beanbag chairs. Jack was there, sprawled in the same beanbag he'd been occupying when John left, except now the general was in his civvies and he was eating a piece of pie. Somehow, a television had materialized in the room. The general was watching football. He raised a hand by way of greeting.

"Hey, Sheppard," he said. "Miss me?"

John waved vaguely at the television. "Did I create—"

"Well, I'm sure you didn't imagine me sitting here and staring at the walls while you were gone," Jack said cheerfully. "You know, you could've put a hockey game on TV for me, though. Want some pie?"

"Uh…no."

Jack shrugged one shoulder. "Suit yourself, but you don't know what you're missing. It's apple pie. Just like Mom used to make."

"Sir—"

"Ah…Sheppard, I told you to call me Jack. You know, you've got a great imagination, but a really short memory," Jack said. He set the plate with his half-eaten piece of pie carefully on the floor, and then got up from his chair. "So, did you get all your business taken care of while you were out there in the real world?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Now you're ready to begin The Game."

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"We can start whenever you want."

"I want to start now, but I have to know a few things first," John said. "Is Rodney still on level two? Can I still join him?"

The general looked thoughtful, and scratched his head. "Actually," he said. "The other player isn't in the second level any more."

"You're kidding? Are you saying I have to pass two levels before I can get to him?"

"No," Jack said. "You can join him right this minute, if you want to. He's in the diagnostic program."

John definitely did not like the sound of that. Rodney being in The Game's diagnostic program could only be a bad sign, the ramifications of which John was sure he really didn't want to know. Bravely, he asked anyway, "What's he doing in the diagnostic program?"

"Diagnosing stuff?" the general said unhelpfully. "Look, I'm not programmed to tell you what he's doing in there. You can enter that program and see for yourself, or you can begin The Game now. It's your choice."

""Send me to wherever Rodney is," John said.

"You got it," said Jack

The general snapped his fingers and everything started to fade. Even the floor began to dissolve, and John let out a startled "Hey!" when he realized there was nothing but a thick fog beneath his boots. John plunged downward into an all-obscuring mist.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rodney sat with his chin in his hands, staring at the virtual representation of the machine with the missing control crystal. Why was it, he wondered, that nothing ever seemed to go smoothly for him? Usually, things worked out okay in the end, but not without a dozen unnecessary complications along the way. Just once, he thought, he'd like a situation to resolve itself normally, without any problems whatsoever. He supposed it was a futile wish. Some things were just too much to hope for.

Rodney was jolted out of his self-pitying thoughts by mini-Shadow tugging persistently on his sleeve and mini-Radek's exclamation of, "Rodney, look!"

"Look where?" Rodney said.

Mini-Shadow pointed up.

Rodney gaped.

Far above his head, Rodney saw a shape that looked very much like a person. The person-shaped object was hurtling straight downward.

"It's the second player," mini-Carson said.

Hearing that another player had entered The Game had been bad enough news. Learning that the new player was falling from the sky was, quite possibly, even worse. As the second player descended, Rodney saw clearly who it was, and he also saw that he was directly in the way of the falling individual.

"What the…?" Rodney began. He scrambled to his feet in an effort not to be crushed by the plummeting body.

"It's all right," mini-Carson said. "There's nothing to worry about."

With a casual flip of his hand, mini-Carson made a second Infirmary-style bed appear just in time to catch a dishevelled-looking John Sheppard. Rodney groaned. Somehow he'd just known John would do something heroically stupid; something like letting himself get trapped in a malfunctioning Ancient device because he thought he was being helpful.

John landed on the bed with a bemused expression on his face.

"Weird," the colonel said.

"Sheppard!" Rodney exclaimed.

John surveyed his surroundings and his gaze finally came to rest on Rodney. "Hey," he said. "Nice diagnostic program you've got here, McKay. I love what you've done with the place."

"Very funny," Rodney said. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Sure. I'm rescuing you," John said. He slid down from the bed and crossed the room to join Rodney and the children. "So, who are your little friends, here?"

Rodney made a vague sound of annoyance as he pointed to each child in turn. "Carson and Radek, and the one drooling all over her hand is Shadow."

"Really? Wow, you guys look…different."

"Everyone looks different here, so I've been told," Rodney said.

"General O'Neill looked pretty much the same as he does in real life," said John.

"You saw General O'Neill?"

"Apparently, I created him." John said. "He said he represents the user's manual for The Game, and he told me to just call him Jack. Pretty cool, huh? You should've seen the stuff I created in that other room."

"Look, Sheppard, this might be all fun and games for you, but it isn't for me. I'd really like to get out of here, if that's possible. This is no time to be…hey! What are you doing?"

John reached into one of the pockets of his tactical vest and pulled out an orange lollipop. He gave the candy to mini-Shadow. She removed her thumb from her mouth and smiled angelically at him before happily tasting the treat he'd given her. John laughed.

"There. That's a lot better than your fingers, isn't it?" John said to her. He looked around at mini-Carson and mini-Radek. "What flavour do you guys like?"

"Red!" the two little boys said in unison.

"Red isn't a flavour," Rodney said.

John conjured up two red lollipops for the boys. "See? I told you I could create really cool stuff. Rodney, do you want one of these, too?"

"No," Rodney said and then, remembering the peanut butter flavoured power bar, amended, "Well…all right, if you've got another red one."

John took another red lollipop from his vest pocket and handed it to Rodney. He snapped his fingers and made a yellow one appear in his hand for himself, which Rodney thought was an unnecessary display of showing off.

"So," John said around the candy in his mouth, "Any particular reason why your game guides are all kids?"

"They're here to annoy me," Rodney said.

"We're part of the challenge," said mini-Radek.

"They'll tell you anything you want to know, as long as it's not remotely helpful or constructive in any way," Rodney grumbled. "They'll throw your concentration off, and they'll interrupt you while you're doing something important, like trying not to get killed by exploding mines."

"Mines?" said John.

"Rodney thought he couldn't fly through them," mini-Radek said. He bestowed an admiring look on Rodney. "He did. We knew he could."

"Hmph," Rodney said.. "No thanks to you and your little friend."

"You're cold, McKay," said John. He ruffled mini-Radek's already tousled hair with big-brotherly affection. "Seriously, how could you not like this kid?"

"I have no problem disliking him, I assure you."

"You really should feel honoured to have him around. I mean, how often do you find someone who looks up to you like this?"

"Plenty of people look up to me."

"Really? Name one."

"Sheppard, we don't have time for this!" Rodney said. "I really would like to get out of here before my fortieth birthday, you know, so if you could at least try to be serious for a change, I'd really appreciate it."

"Getting out is easy. All you have to do is think about it,"

"Yes…thank you for nothing! I already knew that, and if it'd actually worked, we wouldn't be standing around inside our own heads and having this conversation, would we?"

"You cannot exit from here," mini-Radek interjected. "Even if you wanted to. You must return to The Game, first."

"I thought this was The Game," John said.

"This is the diagnostic program," said mini-Carson

"Right," said John. He crouched in front of mini-Radek so that he was on the little Czech's eye level. "Radek, can you go to a place where it is possible to exit?"

"Yes, I can," mini-Radek said.

"Oh no…" Rodney whispered as the room began to fade.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

John stared.

The spot where mini-Radek had been standing less than a second ago was completely devoid of the little boy's presence. When John looked around, he realized Rodney and mini-Shadow were gone, too.

"What the hell just happened?" John demanded aloud.

From behind him, a little voice answered, "One of the players just exited the diagnostic program."

John glanced over his shoulder to find mini-Carson peering guilelessly at him. John said, "What are you still doing here? For that matter, what am I still doing here?"

"I belong here," mini-Carson said. "I'm a representation of the diagnostic program. You're here because you can't join a Game in progress until you've reached the level the current player is on."

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

"You can stay here, or you can return to the beginning of The Game. You can't exit from here," mini-Carson said.

John dragged his fingers through his hair and exhaled noisily. "Peachy."

When a basket full of peaches appeared on the floor in front of him, it was all he could do not to yell at the top of his lungs.

TBC
--------------------