Chapter 20:
Unbroken

I don't think I could have rebelled, for I was at a complete loss for words. I threw all my clothes from the wardrobe onto the bed, making them into a big pile onto the bed, sobbing each time I ruined something Erik once bought for me, looking at my bracelet still on my wrist. I sighed after a while, and planted myself, face-down on the bed, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Erik didn't bother to interrupt, I guess he was doing the same thing I was.

It didn't take long to angrily throw all my clothes back into the few bags that I brought with me not bothering to put the dresses I could've worn once more onto a hanger, and felt something that I couldn't make out in the deep pit of my stomach. Guilt again, huh? I grabbed a glass from the counter near the sink in the bathroom and filled it with water, thinking I could drink out my guilt, but nothing happened.

Sighing, I went back, groaning ever so often. The worst birthday ever. I liked it much better when I decided that I could ignore my birthdays like an old woman, without feeling and no smile, and no birthday cake. No party, no gifts, because I felt like I had no actual reason to live anymore.

That was the same feeling I had right now, staring at the clock. If I couldn't love Erik, he still won't ever let me go, and he's carried out every promise he's made thus far. He's made me happy for a certain length of time, he's married me, and he treats me as his wife as I treat him as dirt. If I couldn't love Erik, and I couldn't return to Raoul, than what was the point of being here anymore? I groaned and pulled the pillow to my face, and just laid there for a while... I got what I wanted, at least, no longer could I feel anything anymore after a length of necessary pain.

Erik came through the door finding me like this on the bed, looking like a mess.

"Clean yourself up, child!" He hissed, and I could feel him coming closer. "We're leaving in a half an hour." He ordered briskly, and dryly. "Christine, did you hear me! Get up!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" I screamed into the pillow.

"I am your guardian, and I can tell you what to do as much as I want! Unless you want to be locked up here for who knows how long, I suggest you get up!"

Slowly, I rose from the bed, feeling as light as some dead creature, and I faced him with a scornful glare.

"Did you mean it?" He asked quietly, despite his even harsher glare to me.

"Mean what?" I asked.

"You said that... you loved me..."

I had no answer to that, and he simply dropped me back down to the bed, obviously becoming more angrier as I remained silent. He dashed out of the room awkwardly, losing a little of his patience within each second of my obvious insubordination.

I finished packing my bags and waited for Erik to come and fetch me, sitting by the open window and looking down to the streets below and Florence all and all again, saying my farewell for I barely got to know the city. Oh, well...

He walked in too soon, seeing me at the window.

"It's time to go," He whispered delicately.

I nodded, and rose from the chair, taking the bags into my hands, and over my shoulder and walked out behind him, as he took my free hand firmly.

The plane ride was horrifically silent, so I slept for a few hours, not wanting to read, watch television or do anything, really. I hardly wanted to breathe.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly, and I responded by blinking a few times.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, feeling like a mother.

"For ruining everything." He said quietly.

"You didn't ruin everything..." I replied, looking out the window, putting my head against my hand.

"I honestly didn't know-"

"I know." I rolled my eyes.

It was awkward for a moment, and I felt in my bag for a book that could possibly keep me busy.

"From now on, I'll listen. I'll do anything you would like me to do. Just don't think horrible of me when I only wish..."

"I get it," I replied acidly.

"Could we start over?"

"No." I replied without making any thoughts about the question itself.

He sighed, and that was the end of the only conversation we shared in the six hours of the plane ride, and it seemed to go by quicker than the last one.

Even the car ride home was awkward, it was like being tugged by just my hand. Ugh... I can't believe I'm calling Erik's mansion home now. It's my only home, though, it's the only home I've ever stayed at for this long and hated it because I had no other choice.

I guess what happens next is something like... wishful thinking. I couldn't make it out to begin with, and I was utterly startled when I came across it. There was a car in front of the mansion, and man. A familiar man. I blinked a few times and looked to Erik who looked no different from where he was, and beginning to tense up with some murderous glare.

"Stay in the car, Christine." He demanded under his breath, and swiftly got out, leaving me entirely befuddled and no explanation as to what Nadir was doing here, and why he was so angered.

"Let her go, Erik." Was what I could make up from the man's heavy accent. I couldn't hear the rest, but Erik was crumpling slowly by every word the man seemed to utter, becoming lower and lower, but finally straightened himself out over time. My pulse began to speed, wary of whatever was coming next.

Before I knew it, the door opened, and a black gloved hand was outstretched for me to take, and it was trembling ever so slightly. I took it, and he helped me out of the car, and nodded to his "friend" and the man named Nadir drove away.

I looked up to Erik, completely confused.

"I'll explain later, love, let's go inside, shall we?" He asked, and I didn't respond, keeping a hand on my back and led me inside.

"Why was he here, Erik?" I had to ask though I knew he wasn't going to answer.

"I must tell you later, but for right now, don't even think about it." I nodded, through I knew I wasn't going to follow exactly that.

Anne met us at the door, and grabbed my bags with a reassuring smile, and turned to put them upstairs, without another word, seeing Erik's demising sullen outlook, which was quite odd to see without him bluntly hiding it.

"Could we sing, Christine? I have a surprise for you today, a birthday present, if you will. All I ask from you now is that you sing. Will you do that?" He asked shakily, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, feeling my heart drop. This must be something horrible, then... I hate surprises now, I just really didn't want to know what this was to be.

I nodded slowly, and he grabbed my hand with all the care that he once had before, and led me to the music room without even bothering to let me rest for a little while. His thumb rubbed over the top of my hand as he looked at it fondly.

"You're so soft...so soft..." I heard him whisper, once we reached the room. "Now, Christine... please give me your best this lesson, okay? I just really want to hear your voice again, because you and I both know that it's an angel's voice. I've taught you well, have I not, Christine?"

This was now really getting odd. He never was this intimate before a lesson, usually he turns from whatever he was before to business-like and all... Well like the incredible musician he is, that I always wanted to meet, that I'm always left awestruck after he plays something.

"You do want to study music, did you not? What your father wanted, of course, right?" He sounded like he was reassuring himself things.

"Erik... I don't understand..." I replied, furrowing my brow even more concernedly.

"You will soon, my beautiful Christine, you will." He sat onto the piano bench, straightening himself out once more, and placed his fingers over the keys. "On 'do', begin," he said methodically, and raised his hand to signal me to sing. I took in a deep breath, and sang the notes in the melodic order, and went up a step just like always, trying to perfect it so we wouldn't have to go over it again. It was just like Italy never happened, like he intended it on being.

"Good, now the aria we were working on, please, I believe we still have polishing. Where we left off, of course..." He said, assuring himself once more, throwing his hand back and handing me the sheets of music, and I looked over it again, and looking to him oddly when he was reluctant to begin playing the opening. When he saw I was looking at him very strangely, he turned back quickly and hurriedly went into the lush notes, sweeping the room with sound.

He directed me when to start singing, and I did so, taking in a deep breath, opening my throat, aligning it, and let the sound come out like a door opening, just as he told me to imagine it as.

I sang with as much emotion as I should, colliding everything I was feeling into that song, and it was probably the most emotionally-draining piece I've ever sung. It was like I was saying goodbye again, to my father, saying goodbye to everyone else who has affected my life dearly and critically.

I gave my soul to music in that piece, I gave it all away for I had no place to put it elsewhere. And in a strange and utmost feeling to it, it was like I was locking those feelings to Erik as he played the beautiful piano, going with the music as he usually does, his eyes shutting underneath that horrible mask of his.

It was much too soon that the aria ended, and I wanted more... I wanted more of it to let go, I wanted to listen to this music, and cry at his feet, begging for forgiveness, I wanted to leave everything and run away with the music. It's all I've ever really wanted.

As if he read my thoughts, he began to play the opening to the duet, and began to sing... oh, how his voice was so heartfelt, how it spoke to me, how I felt like I could cry when all I could do was sing and cry... at the same time, and how horrible it felt... how indecent that we couldn't come up with this.

Our voices were like one, admitting my hidden love, and him admitting his own, and it was probably an opera within an opera, dramatic... and so overwhelming, as if I was floating with him.

But it stopped, and I felt myself stopping instantly, and dropping to the floor, holding both sides of my chest to keep myself from breaking

I blinked a few times, disbelievingly.

"Go to your room, Christine," He said quietly.

"But..."

"This is all I've wanted from you tonight. Get some rest, and be ready to wake early." His voice was drained from any emotion that he had through his music.

"But Erik..."

"Please, Christine. Just go. I don't want to see you right now."

That was like a knife stabbing through my chest. Ouch, it hurt. I nodded slowly, and felt my feet beginning to move when the other part of me was standing where I stood when singing, leaving my heart behind as I trudged out of the room, shutting the door ever so lightly.

I stayed outside of the room for a moment, until I heard frighteningly angry music playing. It reminded me of a ship in the sea with a storm beginning to loom over it. It was so pained, every note, as if every note was killing the player himself. I covered my ears, and ran to my room where I thought I could escape from this madness, but to no prevail.

It was still in my mind! It was playing over and over, those dreadful notes, and they were all I could hear through these thick walls, directly below me.

I didn't have the strength to cry, I didn't have the strength to just jump out the window right now and run. I laid on the bed, my eyes pried open by something unseen, staring at the ceiling with about as much life as a doll would have when the stuffing has been taken out.

"Christine." Erik's voice was through the door suddenly, but he wasn't standing there yet, and when he stood before me, he looked astonished that I was still awake. "I-I thought you were sleeping..."

I stared at him, with no reaction at all.

"I didn't mean to... do anything, you know... I just wanted to... to be near you. Is that too much to ask?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head in the negative, clasping the covers. "I can't sleep," I noted dully, and looked to him hopefully. "Will you sing to me again?" I asked with a small voice.

"Yes, of course... anything, my angel..." He sat in the chair, looking like a ghost in this dark room as he moved across, his eyes glowing in the dim light of the moon, and I had to look away. He sang a familiar lullaby he used to sing for me before he forced marriage, and when he tried to comfort me away from my fate of being with him for all this time. I didn't want to remember, I wanted to do what he said,"to start over". And I somehow found myself doing so, when drowning myself into his voice, letting my eyes lower, and I felt his fingers run through my hair with reverence that he's always had when touching me so.

I was so soothed, that I forgot the dreadful music he played on the piano that night when I left the room, I fell into a deep sleep... but it wasn't so deep that I wasn't dreaming.

The sun was just setting, and we were standing on the cliff facing the familiar lighthouse in Maine, and nothing was heard except for the waves crashing against the rocks swiftly, most tourists gone from the location at this hour. I sat on the rocks next to Erik, just as old as I was now, and he the exact same.head to see that he was no longer there. I looked around, feeling my heart begin to pace. "Erik?" I asked the thin air, seeing that he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was playing a trick on me. Maybe this was all a game.right there like he always is, always at my reach when I need him.

"Isn't it beautiful, Erik?" I asked, leaning my head against his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair. He didn't answer, and I didn't seem to care at the moment, simply enjoying his presence."I told you it would be splendid, didn't I? I don't think anyone could live and not want to see this, right?" I asked myself.

"This is like an artist painted it," I said, my eyelids lowering from the peace I had in myself. It wasn't for a while that I noticed that Erik wasn't about to answer to any of my comments, and I turned my

"Erik?" I asked even louder, beginning to run around the plateau where the rocks reach the sea. I called his name over and over, expecting him to be

I went back to the spot where we were sitting to find him still not there. With a sudden horrible thought in my head, I looked down the side of the tall, pointed rocks to find Erik falling into the water, and disappeared into the depths of the ocean, half-expecting a monster to come and eat him up.

"ERIK!" I screamed, beginning to sob.

A hand was on my shoulder, and a smiling Raoul greeted me, smiling as I sobbed.

"He's gone now," Raoul said with the tone of a hero just winning in a battle. I looked at him disbelievingly, and called Erik's name, going against Raoul's arms as they wrapped around me, trying to get to the sea, and try to believe it wasn't true.

That was when I was nudged to wake up, and my eyes opened up brightly.

"Christine, wake up... I'm right here... Christine..." Erik's voice was soft in my ear, and he was right there in the dim light. I gave a sigh of relief and felt tears already staining my cheeks. "What is it?"

"A horrible dream..." I replied slowly, wiping the tears away, not bothering to explain what, exactly, it was, for it was strange, and I was too fascinated with the bite of reality coming back to me. "I don't want to think about it." I whispered, looking to him. "It was so real..."

He shook his head, and rubbed my cheek carefully, as I laid there looking up to his masked face. I didn't know what to think when my hand raised up to stroke his mask, as if it was always his face, when the corpse and the different man lay under it. I'd never forget that... I never have, I just chose to wipe it away from my memories. He took my hand and took it away from his head, carefully putting it back onto the bed.

"You should get dressed. I have a surprise for you today, and I think this will be your favorite one." He said this with as much emotion as a rock.

That hurt, too... what was he getting at? I obeyed without any question and got up from the bed, watching him leave me be once more. I dug through my packed bags, and got out a random shirt and jeans, took a really quick shower, and walked out of my room with a feeling that this may not be something I will thoroughly enjoy.

He was sitting there at the dining table, watching me with as much intensity as ever, and I could hardly eat. I only took a couple bites of the pancakes and looked at the rest of the dish as if it was going to eat me whole if I resumed eating from it.

"What will we be doing? You know I hate surprises," I noted dully.

"I'm afraid, this time you'll have to see for yourself." With a shaking hand, he handed me my cell phone, placing it before me, and looked to me expectantly.

I looked at him questioningly.

"You'll need it later." He replied quietly, and rose from the table. "Are you finished?" He asked, his voice already breaking. I nodded in the positive and followed him out of the room, and eventually out the front door.

He helped me into the car, into the front seat, after watching the butler close the trunk after putting something I couldn't see into it, I couldn't peel my eyes off of Erik, who looked like he was crumbling slowly at the driving wheel.

"I have to do this, you see..." He began silently, his voice breaking even more, but fixed his eyes strictly on the road in front of him. "I have to do this because I love you and I want you to be happy. I love you more than life itself... Know that much. Whatever harm I have brought to you, I do not mean... I did not mean to make you so broken... Oh, how much I hated that... I never wanted that for you."

I had nothing to say, of course, still startled out of my whits, and trembling all over. What was he doing?

We drove on a few more minutes, reaching society finally, and into a town with several high-rise buildings.

"I know you wanted to be with friends, and I hatefully admit that I have denied you that... you belong in the light, Christine, where everyone can awe of you just as I have." He added on, driving through a red light, obviously not paying attention, but nothing was effected too horribly.

We stopped in front of a large building that looked like apartments. "You're older now, of course... and enough to go to where you'd like to study..." he sighed, finally looking to me with these eyes that I swear held all the sadness a human could ever contain.

"And so, Christine, I'm letting you go to where you need to be," He reached into a pocket and pulled out an envelope, "I've already filled out the forms for you, and there is no need to audition, I have recorded you and sent it in, and then they willingly took you in, just as I have imagined. You'll find your friend, Meg, who is studying here as well. This is all the information you'll need, including your dormitory key, tell them who you are and everything will be taken care of." He sighed, and I could tell he was holding back another sob. "Your bags are in the back, and enough money to last until you're able to make it up, for I believe you are ready."

I looked at him, entirely awestruck, not able to move. He grabbed my hand, and looked at the ring with reverence once more."Christine, you must know how much I love you, once more... I know you'll dazzle them with your voice just as you have always. Your father would be very proud." He said fondly, lifting his mask up slightly, and pressing his lips tenderly onto my hand, and, with my other hand, I opened the door.

"My number is on your phone, of course, if you ever need me again, which I don't think you will." He said sadly, and I felt my hand go to the pocket where my much fought over cell phone lay.

"And you will wear the ring, won't you? If you wear it... Erik will remain your friend... if not... then he will not be able to protect you any longer." He said just before I got out of the car, grabbing my hand once more.

I nodded slowly in the positive and, with a fluttering heart, I stepped out of the car, looking behind me to see "Peabody Conservatory" titled on the building.

"Goodbye, Christine..." He whispered under his breath, letting my hand go, and shut the door.

*Sniff Sniff*... I was crying when writing this... I'm such a crybaby. In fact, I cried in the new Harry Potter movie which I just saw yesterday... *sigh*... Well, things will be a little less of a bumpier ride since Erik backed out. It's what is best for my characters, at least... Well, tell me what you think. Good, bad, horrible? I need your opinion, of course, but I'm afraid I can't oblige by everyone with the plot I have in my mind still.

REVIEW!

Love to all g'night or g'day to whoever cares.

~The Phantom's Flutist~