Sorry for another long-awaited update. I've been going to the beach and getting a little more inspiration to continue, for I'm not sure whether I should end it just yet or not. That and it's been rather hard finding any good internet signal. I will probably have another chapter up because of another 6-hour car ride and utmost irritation with my family. 2 week vacations are the best and the worst *sigh*.

Well, tell me what you think (as always) and I'll be thanking you once more for the reviews so far.

With love to you all,

~The Phantom's Flutist~

Chapter 27:

The Fear of Goodbye

I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling, half-expecting to see Erik coming in at anytime, but all I received was a locked door and a sigh. I was angry, of course... he doesn't even trust me as much as to let me go around the house anymore. What could be worse than him having a coffin in his room anyway and the room evidently dedicated to me? I shudder thinking of what more he possibly could be hiding from me, things that are despicable... Well, on the other hand, maybe I'll just let Erik tell me when it's time, seeing that I really can't escape him anyway and I had no heart to turn him down again... He needed me more than Raoul, clearly...

The bedroom was the usual, something I've stared at and studied for a good long time, some of my things, thought, were out of place. With a furrowed brow and shaking hand, I went about the room scoping what was missing and what was not... I went into the drawer of my desk to find things mixed around, and all of the things I kept in here that weren't meant to be seen by eyes other than my own. Notes to Raoul, a few more leaves of paper from my diary were still in here, though more creased than I would have left them as.

Erik found me there, staring at the things that I held in my hands, and I heard his footsteps but I couldn't bring myself to look at him directly anymore.

"You... looked in here, didn't you?" I asked him trivially. He stuttered, and I heard his mouth open then shut, and breathed in a few times before answering.

"Yes," He answered ashamedly. I blinked a few times, and turned around looking at the creased folds of paper scrunched in my hands.

"You weren't... supposed to.." I stuttered breathlessly. "Those words-"

"I understand, Christine..." He replied softly, holding up a finger to silence me.

"But-"

"It takes time, does it not?" He asked me, tilting his head to the side, and placing his hand under my chin. "You said so yourself... From your... soft pink lips..."

I blushed possibly a bright tomato red, as his thumb ran over my cheek, he admired me quietly, fawning over what he had right now, and I could tell he was almost nervous by simply touching me. I felt goose flesh raise over my skin by his delicate touch, looking to the careful eyes behind the mask that made me feel like I was under some sort of x-ray.

"You don't pull away..." He noted somberly, "Do you forgive your Erik?" He asked suddenly.

I blinked a few times, thinking up a logical answer to this question, "I'll work on it." I answered honestly.

"One day, then?" He pressed, taking his hand away, and clenching it to his side and I nodded.

"Maybe," I replied, sighing, feeling my fingers let go of the memories of before written onto these little pieces of paper for they held my grudge for me right now, and all I needed was to unlock it to set them free... all I needed to do was forget... But I couldn't. How could I? I'll never be able to see Raoul again, I knew it... I said that before but now I absolutely know it from the look in Erik's scornful eyes those last few moments.

"Where are you taking Raoul?" I asked on a whim.

"Somewhere," He scoffed angrily, and turned around.

"Erik- don't be like this!" I said, placing a hand on his shoulder that stopped him in his tracks before exiting the room to leave me alone again.

"You are mine now... You shouldn't worry of others," He hissed, grabbing my wrist, and holding it up, and it hurt even more after the many times he's strained his hand over my wrist, the bone ached horribly.

"You're hurting me! Let go!" I cried, tugging at my wrists which were only beginning to hurt even more from pulling.

"I will never let go of you!" He exclaimed, only to clench my wrists even tighter with his bony fingers.

"Stop... stop...!" I pleaded, beginning to sink down again, "My wrists hurt from you doing this all the time... Erik... please just let go..." I begged.

He suddenly lightened his grasp and I dropped to the ground, disbelievingly, my mouth open and startled by his outburst. It was completely out of him once more, though before I would have thought he entirely meant it.

I found him on the floor again, and breathing in heavily, heaving in hacking coughs and I went into immediate panic.

"Erik?" I asked, coming closer to him, hurriedly. "You need help... something..." I said, trying to get his attention. "Erik, answer me..." I cried, feeling my heart thumping rapidly against my chest.

"Christine-" He coughed wickedly, "Christine-" he tried again, and I could tell he was trying to place something together, but I couldn't see. He was suffocating it seemed, so I only thought that his mask was worsening it. I leaned forth to untie it, but his hand came and weakly tried to stop me.

"This is making it worse... let me remove it," I pressed, reaching my arms back.

"No... Christine..." He pleaded with me for a moment, trying his hardest to get me away from the mask.

"You know it doesn't bother me... Come on..." I pressed, and quickly untied the strings, and placed the mask on the floor beside where I knelt down, and leaned him back, thinking hurriedly of all the things I could do... call 911 but he wouldn't like that, I'm sure. I needed help for I had no clue on medical things and I don't even know what his problem even was. I felt myself begin to cry in helplessness for he could be dying right now and I would just be sitting here just like my father.

"What can I do?" I asked him.

"Get Anne..." He coughed again, and I nodded and ran down the stairs screaming Anne's name, into the kitchen and in the living room until she finally showed showed herself coming out of the library.

"Christine?" She asked, tilting her head to the side, furrowing her brow, in her usual skirts

"It's Erik... he's having some sort of attack and I need you to help! He is coughing and heaving..." I said, my words coming together to sound like one big slur, but somehow she understood and nodded, and grabbed my shoulders.

"Where is he?"

"In my room." I answered, feeling tears falling rapidly, seeing that she was as worried as I in this situation.

"Lay him on your bed if you don't mind and I'll be right there." She said as quickly as I and scurried off to another door I am yet to see through, and I ran back up the stairs to my room, to see Erik laying there, as pale as ever, and his eyes shut, though I still saw his chest rapidly rising and falling. I wasn't sure if I could get him up there myself, for he was very tall and possibly at least over one hundred pounds- something I knew I couldn't lift up. He wouldn't be able to help me, so I don't think I'd be able to get him up to my bed without Anne. So, I waited, kneeling by Erik's side and holding his freezing hand, clasped in between mine.

"I won't let you go..." I sobbed, feeling the same horror I felt as my Dad was slowly passing on slowly becoming colder and colder until he was a light blue, and his breath had stopped. I couldn't do that... I couldn't see death again, I couldn't face it again without being in it, I've seen too much. No matter who it was... Erik who loved me so, Erik who tried to give me everything, I couldn't let him go. Saying goodbye was as much as a fear I have of mine that is as strong as death in itself.

I won't ever let you go... I heard his words come into my mind, and I felt his grasp somehow tighten on my hand. He said he wouldn't let me go... he can't leave me here! I never realized I needed him this much...

Anne came up, holding some sort of leather bag in her hands, and placed it on the nightstand, looking down to me and holding his hand.

"I can't get him up there myself." I explained and she nodded, grabbing his bony legs as I grabbed his torso, and lifted him up there, without him stirring one bit. He was surprisingly light and I remembered it was because he hardly ate at all, and if he ever does wake up, I'll make sure this changes. I placed his mask onto the nightstand along with the bag, and sat by his side, and grabbed his hand again.

"I need you to hold his arm out for me..." She pressed calmly, "And check his vitals... do you know how to do that much?" She asked, and I shook my head in the positive, turning his arm over, and pressing two fingers against his wrist, his heart was beating quickly, probably as fast as mine. I pressed my hand against his forehead, and it was rather warm, which was something like a good sign, for it was life, but I could be very wrong.

"He's warm." I said, looking to Anne who held a syringe, and I gagged in a gasp, remembering my fear and hatred of needles in itself.

"You can look away," She apologized, seeing the tint of possible green coloring my face, and I complied by turning away, holding my mouth from gagging anymore, my stomach doing flips.

"Finished," She replied, and I turned back around to see her holding gauze to the arch of his elbow, and I swallowed hard.

"Will he be okay?" I asked.

"He may or may not pull out of it in a few hours." She answered knowingly.

"Has this happened before?" I pressed further.

"One other time..." She answered this with a sense of sorrow, looking back, and pity.

"When?"

"A few days ago," She knowingly replied, shaking her head and sighed, leaning in to feel his forehead as well. I swallowed hard again, feeling my hand begin to shake as I ran my finger through his thin black hair, and wiped my tears away.

"While I was gone... when I betrayed him..." I moaned, feeling bad simply petting his thin hair back.

"It's not your fault," She said hesitantly.

"Yes, it is!" I moaned, "He could have died... he could have died without seeing me again, and that would be horrible... Erik..." I said, leaning into his chest feeling his labored breathing beginning to soften.

"But Christine, it's not you...it's him..."

"How could he make himself do that, then?" I furrowed my brow, looking up. She sighed and shook her head.

"It's something he never should have even thought of doing... I don't feel obliged to tell you." She said with a sort of finality, and it gave me hope that she meant he wasn't about to die in front of me... so that he would be able to answer my many questions she just presented to me. I nodded, and looked to the clock... which read midnight. I massaged my temples and looked to Anne.

"Will he be fine for the night?" I questioned.

"He should be waking up in the morning..." She replied, nodding her head, and looking down to the sleeping man who looked like a resting corpse which only perturbed me slightly if I didn't know any better, if I knew I couldn't shun him any longer just because of his appearance.

I knew he wasn't in his right mind for some sort of reason... I knew he was better than that.

I prayed to God that night to heal him so that we both may start over... if we started over everything would be okay again, right? This was just a scare... right?

I laid down next to him on the other side of the bed, and watched him rest, looking more peaceful than ever, and it was kind of relieving in many ways... Watching him like he was a child before me, doing anything and everything... His chest moving evenly up and down, and his head back to... something like a normal temperature, at least. I didn't sleep for the longest time, trying to take the day in, and swallow it whole just to have my own moment of peace, but probably two hours later, I fell into a dreamless and shaken up sleep, nestled near Erik's unconscious body.

I woke up at nine in the morning, finding myself above the covers and Erik stirring next to me, showing at least a little bit of life other than last night. That was a good sign, at least... He might wake up soon...

I took a shower, finding a few pieces of clothes that were left behind before he took me to the Conservatory, jean and a sweatshirt which was fine enough, and found extra toiletries in the cabinet, using them to get ready for the morning, and blow-dried my hair.

I walked out, and found Erik just beginning to wake. I quickened to be by his side, grabbing his hand.

"...Christine?" He asked dully, squinting his eyes, looking over to me.

"Yes, I'm right here..." I replied comfortingly.

"Don't leave me..." He replied, still very dim and dreamily.

"I'm not," I replied sincerely.

"Close the blinds..." He ordered, shutting his eyes against the bright morning light, and I nodded, walking over to the window and closed the curtains, looking back to him.

"Where did you go?" He questioned, his voice was hardly containing it's usual beauty.

"I was right here the entire time, Erik." I replied.

"You left me..."

"No, I didn't... I never left you... I'm right here..." He wasn't in the right mind once more, seeming to be delirious. He winced, and looked up to me, those golden eyes glistening. It hurt me seeing him like this, not the usual Erik, but his usual strength stolen away from him which was all he ever had in the world.

I stayed there, talking to him, reassuring him that I wasn't going to leave, and every so often we would have a somewhat usual conversation. He wouldn't reply with much, but enough to show me he was still there. I hummed a tune I knew and he went to sleep holding my hand. Knowing that he wouldn't wake up soon, I went downstairs to the library and took in a few books to read for the time being. Anne didn't approach me to give me any company... so I was alone in this huge house, waiting for my captor to wake up... how strange must this be?

Time was horrible... I found myself looking into Erik's dark music room which was the only door in this entire house without a lock. Well, that's what Erik said once, and then followed that explanation with some long statement about the world, and I found myself paying no such attention, so I can't give you the exact reason. It was nice, at least... It seemed music still lingered in this empty room, as if haunted by it. His opera seemed to play over and over again in my head when I looked over to that hateful stack of music resting on the music holder on top of the piano. He never told me its name, and for fear it would be something I didn't want to know, I rested without asking him.

I went into the living room and turned around to see Erik sitting on the couch casually, with his mask back on and acting like he was there the entire time. I nearly screamed, dropping the book I was reading onto the floor.

"I thought you were sleeping," I noted breathlessly.

He seemed to be amused, but he stared at me for a few long seconds before taking an answer.

"I couldn't leave you alone to the house," He said as if I was the one in the wrong here.

"But-" I hesitated, looking him up and down, "You were- you were..."

"Yes, I was rather ill, wasn't I?"

"Why? You scared me..."

"I have a remarkable ability to heal quickly, darling..." He sighed, and outstretched an arm for me to come near. I stayed my distance, but stepped further into the living room.

"But why were you sick... I thought I lost you..." I huffed, feeling almost stupid myself.

He sighed roughly, and stood up and came near me, taking me gently, but firmly by the arms and led me back toward the couch, as if I was as light and easy as a feather, and sat me, by force, next to him.

"I don't understand," I whispered dimly, as he took strands of my hair and ran his fingers through them, trying to calm me, it seemed.

"You don't have to understand everything." He answered, trying to get me to be lulled with his light voice, but I was too determined to know what he was hiding.

"Erik... explain to me..." I plead. "If I am to stay here with you, I need to know why you are sick..."

"I'm better right now to have you near me and that's all you need to know." He said softly, and I felt like a doll of some sort being forced to sit here.

"Erik-" I moaned, but he shushed me sweetly, running his hands through my hair even more, and I was almost lulled to lean back against his chest, his arms wrapping around me, and it was all so gentle, so careful.

"What do you want to do, my Christine? Are you hungry? Would you like to sing?" He asked, and I shook my head in the negative to both.

"Oh, won't you sing for me?" It was so bittersweet that all I could possibly feel was suspicion.

"If you do something for me, then I'll sing for you." I replied, furrowing my brow.

"It's not worth it then." He sniffed. I forced myself out of his grasp angrily.

"Now you're just being stubborn. Why won't you answer me?" I begged, feeling like I should stomp my foot, other than look like a fool.

"Because singing isn't supposed to come with a price..." He answered innocently. "It should be something you'd want o do anyway."

"It is... but-"

"I'm not laboring you, Christine." He said automatically. God... he was so good with this avoiding thing, he should be paid for it. On another thought... he probably is somewhere down the line. I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. I knew what may get him out of avoiding anything, but I fought with myself to do it, for it would be forcing myself and that wouldn't be necessary. I leaned forth, kissed his jaw, and stayed on the couch to see his reaction. He shut his eyes lightly, and then looked to me curiously.

"You can't buy me, either..." He said almost comically. I forced a smile, and crossed my arms again.

"Sure I can. Come on..." I pressed playfully. "You know you enjoyed it."

"It wasn't convincing enough," He said inevitably avoiding it even if I did manage to kiss him for the third time ever. I knew what he was hinting at.

"Don't be a child, Erik..." I grunted, rolling my eyes.

"Kiss me like you did last night, and I'll explain it to you."

"I think you're trying to buy me." I hissed using his own words, becoming more angered by the second just because of his whit and selfish teasing.

"Oh please, Christine? Please...? Just one more time... and I'll explain the world to you. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise?" He was now animatedly begging, clasping his hands together, once more being a child. I hissed again, and rolled my eyes. This man was impossible... how many times do I have to say that, anyway?

"You promise, then?" I questioned.

"I promise!" He confided excitedly, looking to me expectantly like a boy begging for a Christmas present. He would deny me nothing... and at the moment I couldn't either with the longing to know what his problem was.

"Fine," I whispered, coming closer, trying to be natural to please him as much as I could. "Close your eyes," I hinted, "So you're not distracted." I whispered, pushing myself further toward him, putting my hand against his mask, and raised it over his thin, twisted lips. I only intended on kissing him lightly when he pressed himself toward me, putting his hand in my hair again so I wouldn't get away. I waited until he was content, and then I backed away expectantly.

"You make me so happy, Christine," He mused for the slightest second. I narrowed my eyes, and crossed my arms.

"Erik..." I groaned. He sighed, and looked to me invitingly.

"I'll tell you everything, then..." He sighed.