I'm not Stephenie Meyer

Group therapy was a personal nightmare. There were only about 8 people in our block of the hospital. Almost everyone's story broke my heart, and I found myself wondering again if I was pathetic. I knew group wasn't supposed to be a pissing contest, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I wasn't exactly messed up enough to be in the hospital. The knowledge that I could walk out the door any moment made every minute seem like an hour.

I had to stop myself from jumping out of my chair when Tyler, one of the members in group who wasn't checked into the hospital told his story. His eyes were burning holes through Bella as he recounted that he liked to prey on people weaker than him, almost smugly. He was completely candid about his abusive tendencies but that he was trying to work on them. I wanted to put myself between the two of them, I felt oddly protective of this strange woman. I could tell by looking at her that she was weak emotionally and physically. She seemingly hadn't heard Tyler's disgusting tales as she looked down at her unlaced shoes. I could tell she was trying hard to keep her face neutral as I was forced to speak myself.

I gave little detail about the day Mike died, I figured if I had to revisit that it may be something better for individual therapy. The military strongly discouraged talking about specific events that didn't end in a victory to citizens, so the glorification of war could continue. Bella looked on sympathetically and it seemed my story was the only one she would actually listen to. Great. As soon as I was finished she went back to looking at her shoes. When the circle finally got to her, the girl sitting next to her nudged her. She tensed to the point of looking like a statue on the brink of shattering. She gasped loudly and for a brief moment had a wild look in her eyes as it became evident that she was somewhere else in her mind, somewhere she didn't want to be. I had to hold myself to my seat not to run over to her and assure her that she would be alright.

She didn't say much of anything, only informing the group that she was brought here because she jumped off of a cliff. I was shocked. I had tried my hardest not to assume anything about why she was here, but I never considered she may have tried to end her life. I had to find out what happened to this beautiful girl to make her want to put a stop to her existence. I listened intently, but she offered nothing else about it.

Group was done shortly after she spoke and we were told it was "recreation" time. She tried to high-tail it back to her room before anyone could engage her in anything. I contemplated following her for a moment, knowing it was a bad idea, but I couldn't resist. As I walked up to her I had conjured up this fantasy that she would befriend me, and that I could help her. That was not the case, she ensured that our exchange was kept brief, declining the invitation to join me out in the rec room.

I went back to the common area defeated, counting down the minutes until I could do my individual therapy just to have something to keep me occupied. I was hoping no one would come up to me, but alas, I had never been a lucky individual.

"She's hot." I heard a man chuckle beside me, I turned to see Tyler.

"Excuse me?" I asked, knowing already that he was talking about Bella. I felt anger starting to bubble up within me, one of the main things I needed to address in therapy. My father had raised me and Emmett not to speak about women like that. Of course, with our friends was one thing, but a random stranger? Never.

"Cute Brunette, kinda skinny. The cliff diver" he laughed again "I saw you get shot down in the hallway, tough break." he said as if we were palling around. I clenched my hands into fists as I tried to focus on my breathing. I would no longer be a voluntary patient if I knocked this asshole out. I gave him a stern look to urge him to stop talking.

"Aren't you not even checked in here?" I spat. "I think you're supposed to leave after group, and not concern yourself with the happenings in here." I informed him. The voice I was using usually sufficed to get people to stop, but not this one. I was on a mission to keep this man away from her. If I scared her, how would she feel being approached by this man who obviously had sick intentions.

"Girls like that are what keep me coming back. The damaged ones are always the easiest." He looked over to Bree and she gave him a sly smile. "That one," he said nodding over toward Bree, "she's been in and out of here for about a year. We have a lot of fun between stints." He sent her a wink, causing her to blush. Before I knew it I was out of my seat seething at him. He did say he had a problem with preying on the weak.

"Get out of here." I said, unsure of what I would do if he stuck around much longer. I didn't like his intentions with Bella, I didn't like that he had already made that sweet girl Bree a victim. I didn't like any men that treated women like that.

He again seemed unphased by my stance. He sent a cocky shrug my way, as he took off toward the hallway. I didn't know if he was headed to Bella's room, or if he was going to heed my advice. He had to pass her room to get to the exit. I tried momentarily to tell myself that she could probably take care of herself, but I failed, and followed him down the hallway. I was relieved to see that he went past her room without so much as a glance, but I went to her door anyway. I could hear her sobs through the paper-thin walls, and it took everything in me not to open her door and make sure she was alright. It wasn't my place, and I didn't even know her. She had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to befriend me.

I turned on my heels to head back to the room when I was just a few inches from Dr. Cope's face. "Edward, I was just looking for you. It's time for your individual session." she said as she looked quizzically between Bella's door and me. I nodded in acknowledgment as I followed her back to her office. It was comfortable and very clean. The tastefully subtle reminded me of my parent's house, and I yearned to go back there and be out of this place. But I knew I had already decided not to check myself out until a certain mysterious brunette was checked out as well. I had told her to agree to go back to group, my advice wasn't completely a lie, but I had to admit to myself that my motive for telling her that was so that I could ensure seeing her once a week. I'm definitely crazy enough to be here.

"Why don't you take a seat." Dr. Cope suggested kindly. I sat down in a comfortable brown chair and took a deep breath. I wasn't sure how this worked, or who was supposed to speak first. I eyed a pack of generic cigarettes on her desk, and my desire for an old habit was calling to me like fine brandy to an alcoholic. "Would you like one?" She asked, noticing my interest.

"Yes, please." I said, knowing it would make talking easier. What the hell. I pulled out the white stick and placed it gently in my mouth, she handed me a lighter and I set the delicate end ablaze. I took a long pull, while she stared at me with patience, clearly trying her best to make me comfortable before she spoke again.

"So how are you feeling so far about your stay here?" She asked generically.

"Fine." I answered shortly, I had to remind myself that honesty was key. "Actually it's a little hard to force myself to be here, when I know I can walk out the door any minute." I took another gluttonous pull of the cigarette. "Mostly because of the boredom. But partly because I feel like most of the people here are considerably more unstable than I am, and maybe I didn't need to go to such extreme measures." I finished my answer. She nodded and smiled.

"That's not an uncommon reaction from someone who is here voluntarily." She started, not giving me the answer I needed. I was kind of expecting her to stroke me ego, I wanted her to assure me that I was, in fact, not as nuts as some of the others. "So then what's keeping you here?" She prompted.

Bella. "I just know I need to stick with something when I start it. I've barely been here 24 hours, and this is my first session." I explained. It was a half truth at least. That should be my motivation.

"I commend you for your attitude towards this situation, many people, particularly military men, don't like to seek help." She complimented. "Why don't you tell me a little about your family, and your life growing up." She asked.

"My Dad is a doctor as you probably know, and my mom does freelance interior design. I have a sister and a brother, we get along great, they're my best friends." I answered shortly, this was a small town and she worked with my Father, I didn't think it was necessary to give a full description, but the look on her face told me otherwise, encouraging me to continue.

"I grew up in Chicago, I wanted for nothing. I had a good childhood with little trauma, unlike most it seems. I was never in much trouble in school, had good grades. I had a tight-knit group of friends in high school, and the military has been my life from then until now." I wanted to cut to the chase, and I was afraid she wouldn't let me.

"How did you come to the decision to join the military." She asked, sliding the pack of cigarettes to me again, I hadn't even noticed I was done with the first one. I took a deep breath, suddenly regretting my impatience to get to the point of why I was here, but I knew I had to do it eventually.

"Mike was my best friend all throughout school." I began, taking a shaky breath as a flood of fond memories came to mine. "He was a bit of a trouble maker," I chuckled. "there was no way he was going to get into college like me, and he decided to join up. He came to me one day and explained the process of enlisting under the buddy system." Dr. Cope was listening intently as I took a small break to ash my cigarette.

"I had divulged to him some time before that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life yet, but there was no way my parents would support me in just taking some time to myself before starting school. My dad wanted...wants..me to be a doctor just like him. I still haven't ruled it out, but at the time I just wanted to know what path I wanted to take before making such a big life decision. I was terrified I would go to college and study something just to appease my parents and then be stuck in a career I hated for the rest of my life." I admitted, returning to old fears. "So I enlisted with him, secretly declining all admittance letters from colleges, and didn't tell my family until about a week before I was ready to leave for basic. Which I regret." I sighed heavily releasing a cloud of smoke.

"Can you tell me why you regret it?" She asked, and I almost felt like I was done for the day. The exhaustion of just knowing I would have to get to the worst part soon enough riddled my body and mind.

"I regret it because I feel like it was cowardly. I was already an adult, I enlisted knowing full well that I wouldn't get a happy reaction from my family, particularly because no one knew I was even considering it." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I immediately stopped the action as I remembered Mike giving me shit about wearing my heart on my sleeve, and that he could always tell when I was frustrated or annoyed when I did that. "I didn't give my family or my girlfriend any time to ease into the idea before I was just gone. My sister took it the hardest, she cried almost non stop from the time I announced I had joined until the time I left." I smiled weakly.

"But I promised her I would return safely. Thanks to Mike, I did." I finished, hoping this session was almost over.

"Let's not get into that just yet, Edward." Dr. Cope broke in, sensing my discomfort. "I'd like to talk more about before you joined. Tell me about this girlfriend, are you still together?" She asked, and she seemed slightly hopeful that we were.

"No, we split shortly after I left. She sent me a letter while I was on my first tour in combat effectively ending things." I answered shortly, not seeing what the relevance of some girl I hadn't thought about in years could be.

"Tell me about her." she urged me to continue, and frankly, I was glad we weren't getting into the day of the attack just yet.

"I feel kind of bad about it now, but she was much more serious about me than I was about her. Her name was, or still is I guess, Lauren. She was really good friends with Alice, my sister. She still is friends with her, unfortunately. She was nice enough in the beginning and pretty. I didn't have a girlfriend before her, and I haven't had one after her. But I can still see that the relationship wasn't all that healthy." I explained. It was strange for me to talk about her, even though I didn't have any residual feelings.

"Is a healthy relationship with a woman something you want out of life?" She asked, and I couldn't really tell where she was going with this.

"I guess eventually. I see how happy my siblings are, they're both in strong, good, healthy relationships. I trust my sister's boyfriend to take care of her, and I trust my brother's girlfriend to put him in his place when he needs it." I chuckled. "I'm not in a place where I could be in a relationship I don't think, but I have recently begun to think about settling down, now that I am out of the military and can actually participate in a relationship." I admitted sheepishly. I hadn't thought all that much about girls in that way. I wasn't into the bar scene, walking around too much and dancing hurt my leg.

"Well Edward, I think you've given me enough for the day. We'll have another session tomorrow." She smiled. I put my cigarette butt in the ash tray and walked out without so much as another word, feeling awkward about the direction of that conversation.

I made my way back to the rec room and saw Bella sitting on the couch reading a book. I decided to try again to strike up conversation. I had never been one of those annoyingly persistent men before now, and I was slightly ashamed, but the curiosity was killing me.

"I see you decided to join us." I smiled brightly at her, as she looked up from her book. Her eyes were still slightly red and puffy.

"They said I'm not allowed to stay in my room during rec time, it encourages 'anti-social' behavior." She replied venomously. Obviously not happy about the revelation.

"I actually came over here to see if you were doing alright, I heard you...in your room earlier." I said quietly, wary of her reaction. I had initially planned not to mention it to her, but couldn't resist.

"I'm fine. I just want to get out of here. I need to go home, this is torture." She said in a shaky voice, I could see her eyes well up with tears that threatened to spill over. For just a few seconds she was vulnerable to me, and I placed my hand gently on her shoulder. "Don't." she warned looking at my hand. The mask was back on, and suddenly she looked as if she didn't have a care in the world. She was very good at this. I reluctantly pulled my hand back.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to see if you were alright. Do you want to sit with me at dinner tonight?" I asked, staring intently into her deep brown eyes. Several emotions passed through them, and I could see that at least one of them was excitement.

"I don't understand you." she finally spoke, breaking our gaze as she looked at her delicate hands in her lap. "Anyone in this place would be more than happy to sit with you, why me?" She looked up again, her face painted with utter confusion.

"I'm not sure, you just seem like the most normal person in here." It was the best answer I could come up with that was true and not creepy. "It's not like I'm asking you out of a date, I just want to sit with you at dinner, then no one else will bug you or me." I tried to appeal to what I knew she wanted.

"I know you would never ask me out on a date." She whispered, blushing furiously. I decided that now was not the time to tell her that I probably would, actually.

"That's not what I meant." I answered shortly. "So what do you say?" I was pleading for an answer, she hadn't shot me down immediately and that left me hopeful. The anticipation of her answer was killing me almost as much as her relentless chewing on her full bottom lip was as she mulled it over.

"I say, I don't think it could hurt. You need to know I'm not a good friend to have, though." She finally gave me relief, but I could tell she was nervous about her answer. Something was holding this girl back and I just wanted to know what it was, but I could sense that I couldn't push her.

"I'll be the judge of that." I decided not to go further into it.

"Suit yourself." She said, as she got up immediately when Dr. Cope walked in the room to collect her for her own session.

This was going to be a very long few hours until dinner.

New chapter coming soon, Probably Sunday. I'm officially making Sunday an update day, as it's the best for my schedule I'm a little disappointed in the lack of reviews, they're always appreciated and I do read them and even heed advice from them. Up next: Bella's therapy session and Dinner with Edward.