Chapter 6: Mattie
It had been child's play for Gideon to convince the building's proprietor to give him a key to her apartment. A few white lies and the trusting elderly gentleman bought it. Gideon was certain that neither Morgan nor JJ, especially JJ, approved of the way he had lied to the landlord but they both understood the practicality of the action. They needed access into the writer's apartment and Gideon was in no mood to wait around. After the small debacle at the publishers and with the woman's agent Gideon was in no mood to play things by the book. He desperately wanted to know if this woman really was Matilda. If she was then they had a lot of catching up to do.
Morgan and JJ followed the senior agent into the quaint little apartment uncertain of what it was they were looking for, Gideon did not help any by shutting door and locking it then sitting down casually at the small kitchen table.
"Gideon what are we doing here?"
"We're waiting Derek, pull up a chair." Was all the answer Gideon gave him reluctantly the other man sat down without a word JJ followed suit.
They were not waiting long before they heard the distinct sound of a key turning in the lock. Slowly the door opened and someone stepped in. The light from the hallway showed a petite form silhouetted in the doorway, whomever it was stood there for a moment with the agents in plain view before fully entering the apartment and turning on the main light. At that Gideon stood as if it was his cue, he stared at the petite brunette recognizing her immediately. She returned his stare, seemingly unsurprised to find him waiting for her.
She was wearing a blue-gray flannel shirt; unbuttoned with a gray tank top underneath it. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and hanging off her shoulder there was a leather bag. Her jeans looked well used and there were specks of dirt on them as well as the brown boots she wore. She looked like she had just been at a horse barn and Jason remembered how she used to be an avid rider. A faint fragrance of horse reached the profiler's nose confirming his guess.
"How are you?" He asked with fatherly concern. She waited a beat before finally answering.
"Just dandy. How about you old man?" She replied with a saucy smile. Despite himself, Gideon found that he was smiling back. She had always insisted on calling him that, even when she was just a young thing. It had been a blatant act of defiance against her mother's insistence on having manners and showing her elders some respect; one that slowly became habit. Poor Susan Higgins, she had been a single parent trying to raise the hellion that was Matilda.
"I've been better," Jason answered honestly. He paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue. She watched him intently waiting for him to make the next move. Matilda had to be well aware of how strange this sudden meeting was after all these years. Vaguely Gideon was aware of the confused Morgan and JJ sitting awkwardly at the table.
"Do you still speak with him?" He asked, she blinked rapidly as if she had been taken off guard by his sudden question. For a while, her only answer was a blank stare.
"In a roundabout fashion yes," she answered slowly, "I'm sure that half the time he isn't even aware of it."
"He is," Jason said remembering the dedication in the book Steve had shown him, "but if you don't want to contact him directly why do it at all?"
"I can't just kick him out of my life," she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I have known him forever. Are you speaking with him now?"
Now it was the agents turn to be stunned by an unexpected question. However, in hindsight knowing her he should have expected it.
"Yes, I am"
"When did you start?" Again, she went to the heart of the matter.
"Over a year ago," he answered slightly ashamed that he waited so long to reconnect with his own son. "Why did you leave him?" Once again, his question was greeted with a stony face, and then she actually began to laugh. It was not genuine laughter; there was no mirth in it. Instead, there was a mocking tone to her laughter.
"Why are you and your fellow agents here Gideon?" She asked avoiding his last question by changing the subject.
She slipped her bag off her shoulder and reached out to set it down on the couch, something about her bare wrist caught his attention. Moving quickly he covered the space between them and grabbed her arm. He pulled her arm out into plain sight only to find the shockingly vivid white scar running parallel to the blue vein beneath it. Unwilling to believe what he saw Gideon grabbed her right arm only to find an identical scar, running form her wrist to halfway to her elbow. He looked up from those scars to level an accusatory glare at her. She stared defiantly back at him, the depths of her hazel eyes fuming with the effort to control her temper. He opened his mouth to chastise her but she cut him of with one forceful word.
"Don't."
Matilda then pulled her arms out of his grasp and rolled down her sleeves before whirling away from him and storming over to the small kitchen. She flung open the fridge and grabbed a beer she then slammed the door shut with her foot while roughly twisting off the cap. She flung it into the sink then took a quick swig before facing the FBI agents again. Her whole posture was a challenge.
"Why?" He could not help but ask.
"We all make stupid mistakes Jason, I just happened to survive mine," was the tart answer.
"What drove you to make such a mistake?" Gideon pressed, before making any kind of a reply Matilda took another swig from the bottle.
"Answer my question I'll answer yours," she said gruffly. The two stared at each other neither one willing to back down.
"We are here investigating a serial killer." JJ said earring a glare from both Gideon and Matilda.
"Well I figured that, I know all about the BAU and what it is you guys do. What does it have to do with me?"
"You have to answer my question Matilda," Gideon reminded her.
"I did not ask you Jason, I asked her so I don't have to answer your question." She replied logically.
"Miss Higgins," JJ told her, she was torn between being surprised at the way Matilda addressed Gideon or amused by it. "You are apart of this investigation because we suspect that you were this particular unsub's first victim. Ever since you left Manhattan," Matilda flinched visible at the mention of the city, "this guy has been killing young women who bare a remarkable resemblance to yourself. We were hoping that you would be able to give us an idea of who this guy is and by doing so help us to capture him."
"Don't see how I could be of much help."
"Well you could start by telling us why you left Manhattan." Morgan told her in a brisk tone, he was getting sick of her dodging questions. "Then you could tell us why you attempted suicide, why it is that every time we mention New York City you flinch visibly, and why you are so wary around Gideon and myself."
"Ah, now won't that be telling." She replied snippily taking yet another swig from her beer.
"Matilda, we are here to help you." Gideon told her and for some reason that took the wind out of her sails. She sighed rather theatrically then leaned against the kitchen counter methodically passing the beer bottle back and forth between her hands.
"What is it that you want me to tell you?" She asked and it appeared to be a rhetorical question for she went on talking. "Do you want me to tell you how I was happy in Manhattan living with and planning to wed my childhood sweetheart? Do you want me to tell you how that turned into a nightmare right before my very eyes, hmm? Do you want to know how the worst thing imaginable happened to me how he…" she trailed off then caught the beer bottle and finished it in one go.
"Matilda did Steve hurt you?" JJ asked standing up and laying a hand on Matilda's arm.
"No, never," was the quiet yet vehement reply.
"Then who did?"
"I can't tell you, he told me that if I told anyone he would kill Steve."
"That was years ago Matilda, do you think he really would kill Steve now?"
"I know he would, why do you think I left Manhattan the way I did, and told Steve to drop the missing person's report? Why do you think Steve is still alive? It's because I've kept my mouth shut that's why."
At that particular confession, JJ looked up at Gideon for guidance on how to proceed. The older agent motioned for her to continue, she was clearly getting somewhere with Matilda.
"Alright, you don't have to tell us who, at least not now. But you need to tell us what he did to you."
"What do you think he did to me? He raped me that's what he did. Now does that answer your question agent?" She asked looking directly at Morgan. Her eyes were red rimmed and it was obvious that admitting to being raped was shameful to her. They could all see the tears beginning to form in her eyes despite her best efforts to prevent them.
"How long did this go on?"
"For months, I had to hide it from Stephen and it was killing me. That's why I took off without any warning I didn't want him asking any questions, and I did not want to hurt him. "
JJ looked like she was about to say more but suddenly there was a knocking on the apartment door. Matilda stared at the door for a moment, her face registering her confusion. The knocking continued and then something dawned on Matilda for she pushed herself off the counter and wiped at her eyes, before rushing towards the door. As the knocking grew persistently louder, it was accompanied by a young woman's voice that they could faintly hear through the door.
"Mattie, Mattie it's me Nicole!" By now, Matilda had reached the door and she opened it to find a teenage girl with a diaper bag slung over one shoulder, on the opposite hip she was balancing little girl and holding on to the strap of the diaper bag there was a little boy who looked to be the exact same age as the girl.
"Oh Nicole!" Matilda exclaimed slamming the palm of her hand on her forehead, and causing the children to giggle. "I'm so sorry and it's nearly 8 o'clock too!"
"That's alright Mattie," Nicole reassured her handing over the children and diaper bag, "Cally and Gabe are such little treasures to baby-sit." The teenager turned to leave then but Matilda stopped her.
"Wait Nicole," she said digging into her back pocket and pulling out a couple of wrinkled twenties. "Here take this," Nicole looked ready to protest but Matilda insisted. "No really it's the least I can do, and you can use this as part of your prom money. Consider it my contribution to a good cause."
Nicole blushed with pleasure and took the money thanking Matilda profusely. Matilda waved the thanks off and wished Nicole a good night before closing the door.