I don't own Star Trek.

… .. . .. … … .. . .. … … .. . .. …

"Captain, my Captain." Sulu threw a mock salute in greeting as he set his tray on the table Jim was sitting at.

"Lieutenant-Ow! Bones!" Jim glared at the man who was not the slightest but subtle about elbowing him, before correcting himself. "Good morning Sulu."

"Morning McCoy, Mr. Spock." Sulu nodded to them both before fully taking his seat. "How are you guys doing this morning?"

"Fine." Jim shrugged.

"Good..." McCoy was watching him with a note of interest.

"My health is adequate. And your own?" Spock glanced up only momentarily.

"Good. Good." Sulu, shoved a mouthful of waffles down before tapping the table nervously and glancing around awkwardly. "So...uh...about...you know...that thing between you two..."

Jim groaned. "What about it?"

"Well, I was just wondering if you guys still wanted to try and convince the crew it was over, or if you were putting a stop to that for right now. I mean," Sulu gulped down another piece of waffle infested syrup. "It's been weeks now and that seems like an awful long time."

Jim sighed. "It's complicated. We're working on it, really, but now there's paperwork involved and we need to get that sorted out before we can do anything else."

Sulu whistled, low. "Dang. Okay. Well, I can't help with that, but if you need anything else, let me know, yeah?"

"Your willingness to assist has been noted." Spock told him almost sharply. "At current, you need not concern yourself with the status of our relationship."

Sulu stared at him for a good minute before returning his attention to his waffles. Jim shifted awkwardly in his seat. Partially because Spock had just completely dismissed him. The rest of it, though, was because he wasn't sure what to talk about. Sulu had seen him drunk enough to need a rescue and had been more than willing to help out and Jim had mouthed off in front of him too. Theoretically, that meant he should feel free to just start over. Sulu would understand if he asked questions that a friend should know.

"So..." Jim struggled to ask something, and glanced at Bones for help.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "How's it going learning Russian?"

Sulu flushed. "Uh...It could be better."

"You're learning Russian?" Jim prompted.

Sulu shrugged. "I'm kind of keeping it under wraps until I get a little better at it."

Jim was grateful for the fact that he apparently wasn't supposed to know this information. Sulu started talking about how he never really had time for the computer lessons and they seemed unnecessarily complicated to him. Spock reminded him that Uhura spoke Russian and would most likely be willing to assist him.

"If you need help with the computer program, I can get it running a bit more smoothly." Jim admitted.

Sulu glanced at him in surprise, before grinning. "I might just take you up on that. I think I'd have to relocate some of the flowers in my room before it would be safe for you though."

"I'm not allergic to that many things." Jim hissed, glaring at McCoy. "This is just ridiculous. Seriously."

"Actually," Sulu corrected him, "I was referring to how many carnivorous or poisonous plants I've got. I doubt Spock would want you anywhere near them. Hell, he chewed me out last time Chekov was in my room because a Rigelian fly trap sent him down to the sickbay for half an hour with a dermal regenerator."

"Ouch." Jim winced in sympathy. "Just what was Chekov doing in your room?"

Sulu turned his attention to his waffles. "It's no wonder he thought all the science personnel was afraid of him, I mean, Spock, you can be pretty scary. I think that's what so many of the science girls think is hot."

Spock raised an eyebrow at the obvious diversion. Jim narrowed his eyes, leaning across the table and taking in Sulu's slightly pinched expression and the faint dusting of red on his cheeks. McCoy rolled his eyes, glancing at Spock behind Jim's back.

"Just what nefarious things have you been up to with my navigator, Sulu?"Jim hummed, face full of suspicion.

Sulu squeaked out a cough. "Hey! I haven't done anything!"

"Yet." McCoy added cheekily.

"Jerk!" Sulu snapped. "Stay out of this."

"Lieutenant." Jim grinned. "Are you crushing on my navigator?"

"It isn't like that." Sulu blushed down at his food. "He's like, my best friend. And I hear all about his relationship troubles. I just...I'm learning Russian because that's what friends do, right? Learn to communicate in a new way, even though they don't have to...That's all. Honest. We just hang out and talk. I'm pretty sure he thinks of me as his big brother or something, anyway."

Jim grimace. "Sorry."

"Don't." Sulu waved him off. "It's fine."

With a sigh, Jim finished off his food and left for the bridge. He had kind of hoped Sulu would be comfortable enough to talk to him about it, but they weren't really friends. Not yet. And he got it. Talking unrequited feelings and stupid awkward crushes that snuck up on you when you weren't looking probably wasn't Jim's forte. Or something any guy really wanted to deal with. Sulu said it was nothing, so Jim was going to leave it at that.

He kicked back a moment in his seat, thinking to himself while he waited for his crew to finish their prep. His crew got along pretty well. They seemed to all have a surprisingly complex set of relationships built off of not only work, but friendship. Jim hadn't thought about it before, but now he was laying out the information that had been given to him.

McCoy was McCoy. He never changed his behavior for anyone, something Jim was grateful for. He knew for a fact that the medical crew loved him. He'd always seen that and had been jealous, a few times, of that fact. They came to him with everything. Chapel would snark back and all of them seemed to be picking up on Bones' attitude. He'd never once not been sassed, even when it wasn't Bones doing his check up or putting him back together. He'd thought it was just a medical crew thing, but it was more than that. McCoy was their boss and their friend, loved and respected in equal parts.

Giotto had only been a brief example, but Jim realized the little he'd seen was more than enough. Giotto's crew was willing to talk freely around him and he wasn't afraid to talk freely around them either.

Everywhere he looked around his ship, his crew trusted their commanding officers. He squashed that initial inclination to exclude himself. His bridge crew had proven that they liked him and wouldn't censor themselves. Most of the crew, to Jim's eternal chagrin, didn't seem inclined to censor themselves at all. Just because the first personal thing they had really came to him about was his relationship didn't necessarily mean they didn't think they could approach him. It was possible Jim was just so secretive about it that no one was going to pry. It was also possible, just possible mind you, that they wouldn't have minded if he pried. Sulu hadn't.

He wasn't friends with his crew yet...but maybe he could slowly start working on that?

Jim hummed, tapping his foot in the air a bit as he looked around. His crew was finishing their start up routine. Jim stood, and was only mildly surprised to find very few people glanced in his direction. He was free to move around however he wanted until he was ready to talk. That made him feel pretty good.

"Alright everyone." Jim called for their attention, ignoring the little part insisting that wasn't quite formal enough. "We've got orders to hang in orbit on a near by planet for a few days for observation. If we're good, we may just get to head down planet side and take some samples too."

"Alright!" Sulu cheered.

Jim rolled his eyes, and glanced over at Spock. "I'm trusting you all to be on your best behavior."

"Should I be making ship vide announcement?" Chekov giggled.

Jim grinned. "Sound's like a plan. Let everyone know they'll have something more interesting to do soon. When you're done, set the heading to the planet marked on your starmap. It should take us about two days to get there and then the watching starts."

"Yes sir."

Jim took a deep breath, half listening as Chekov did as he said. His crew gave him acknowledging smiles and nods as he walked past their stations. Uhura smirked at him when he sauntered past. Jim found himself leaning over Spock's station though, grinning like a fool.

"Looking forward to an observation mission?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "It is the primary function of this vessel."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but is this fun, or would you rather be doing meet-and-greets? First contacts and negotiation work?"

"Ah." Spock glanced down at his station before returning his gaze to Jim. "It is illogical to base your actions around a concept such as fun, Captain. However, I find my skills are best suited to scientific endeavors."

Another grin, followed by a suspicious smirk. "If I didn't know any better, I would swear you just implied you have no diplomatic skills at all. When you aren't scaring everyone, I have very good evidence that you are more than suited to diplomacy. Actually, I have on good authority that you're pretty diplomatic even when you are scaring people."

Spock raised an eyebrow, turning fully from his station. "I do not know what you are referring to."

"Mm-hm." Jim patted his shoulder, standing back up straight. "Carry on."

Spock watched him walk back to the command chair. Jim settled into his chair, feeling pretty good. He could get used to that whole having fun with his crew thing. He'd figure it out. He'd start with the people he knew and trusted. Or was learning to trust. If people saw him joking around and speaking freely with his command crew, maybe they'd approach him more. It was a sound theory, in his head, and Jim knew he had to start somewhere.

… .. . .. …

"I'm not sure I want to know what is happening here." McCoy announced.

Jim glanced over to see Bones standing just inside the door to his room. The door had slid shut behind him, and he was half-leaning on the frame, staring at the room. The room that was so utterly messy that Jim wasn't even pretending to walk through it without stepping on things. Jim, who was half-naked and rooting through his dresser again.

"Hey Bones." Jim greeted tugging at something. "Why the heck does Rand insist on putting my jeans at the bottom of the drawer?"

"A mystery." Bones drawled. "Why am I here Jim?"

"Uh..." Jim braced a foot against his dresser. "Well. I could use your help figuring out how to properly wear cologne."

McCoy opened his mouth to protest his involvement, but paused. With one quick yank, Jim had freed his jeans, as well as most of the other clothing in his dresser. He disappeared behind a cloud of clothing for a split second before clambering back over towards his bed. McCoy noticed the collared shirt laying out there and furrowed his brow.

"Why are you wearing cologne?" McCoy finally asked. "You hate cologne."

"Well, yeah." Jim mumbled from where he was struggling with his shirt. "But that's no reason not to smell nice. You said my cologne was nice when I wasn't drowning in it."

"Uh-hu." McCoy took another look at the surrounding mess. "Why do you care how you smell? What are we getting ready for?"

"I'm not getting ready for anything." Jim shrugged, trying to smooth out the shirt, before realizing he had the buttons all wrong. "Am I not allowed to feel special when I have time off?"

"Okay." McCoy relented immediately, raising his hands in defeat.

He was still highly suspicious as he headed to the bathroom to retrieve the cologne. He could hear Jim changing into his jeans in the other room, whistling to himself. Right. Not getting ready for anything. And he was dancing a two-step with a Klingon.

McCoy stepped back into the bedroom and had to smile. Jim looked so earnest and confused. McCoy glanced at the bottle in his hand, and not for the first time felt a warmth around his heart. They may have been close to the same age, but somehow brother didn't quite fit. He wouldn't go so far as to say he felt parental towards him, but it was a near thing. He was frustrating, and obnoxious and such a stupid boy and McCoy loved him anyway. He wasn't afraid to be proud of him.

"Come here Jim. It's about time someone taught you how to wear cologne." McCoy smiled affectionately.

Jim grinned. "You're the best."

"I know." McCoy agreed. "Quick piece of advice, if you don't want to be drowning other people in this, don't apply any more until after a shower. I don't care if you can't smell it anymore, it's still there."

He proceeded to show Jim how to apply a very small amount. When Jim complained that it was hard to notice, McCoy told him that was the point. Wearing it light meant people had to get closer to smell it properly, rather than distancing themselves so they weren't choking. Jim laughed.

"Thanks." Jim clapped a hand on his shoulder, goofy smile dimming into something more noteworthy. "I can always count on you."

McCoy shook his head. "Just don't make me do any more of this father thing any time soon."

Jim laughed, winking. "Shouldn't you be scolding my boyfriend while you clean a phaser or something Daddy?"

McCoy smirked, jumping on the opening. "Am I going to have to have a long talk with him about what is going to happen if he hurts my little boy? Or are we to the point where I should be stressing how anything he touches you with that doesn't have protection on it is getting removed surgically?"

Jim flushed at the same time as a somewhat sick sensation washed over him. "Other points aside, please don't threaten to cut anything off of anyone."

McCoy shrugged. "Don't tell me any details then. And realize I actually have experience as a father and will use that against you."

Jim ducked his head, but he was smiling. "I...Thanks...Really."

McCoy sighed, setting his hand on his shoulder. "You're welcome. Now stop standing around here like an idiot and go. If you keep that green-blooded computer of yours waiting much longer he may just come get you. And I'm sure you don't want him to see your room looking anything like this."

Jim flushed, glancing around. "It is a bit of a mess. I'll go-Wait. How did you know I was going to see Spock?"

McCoy had to cover his mouth with his hand when he couldn't properly fight down his smile. "Consider it a hunch. I'll see you tomorrow Jim."

Jim frowned. "Good night Bones."

After another check in the bathroom mirror, a little more consideration of McCoy's words, and forcing himself not to put more cologne on, Jim stepped out into the hall. He wasn't near as nervous as last time, at least partially because they had actually planned this meeting. Spock was quick to open the door when he chimed for entrance. Jim smiled winningly, but the exceptionally dark look in Spock's eyes had him faltering.

Spock proceeded to stare as Jim cleared the doorway and it shut behind him. It was definitely the shirt. Jim didn't give in and glance down. He had already checked and double checked and his shirt was pressed and buttoned properly and fitting snugly in all the right places. It was the same dark blue button down he had picked out of his closet because he liked how it made his eyes practically glow. Jim had thought it was a similar blue to the science uniform and had joked with Bones before about how he'd look damn good in a science uniform. Whatever scrutiny Spock was casting on his shirt, Jim was not clued in on it.

"Spock." Jim smiled awkwardly in greeting.

Spock's eyes snapped to his own, and he narrowed them slightly. "Jim. You are 1.35 minutes late."

Jim chuckled. "Sorry. I was talking with Bones."

"It seems it would be prudent to end your discussions with Doctor McCoy a minute sooner, Jim." Spock's eyebrows had flinched in a moment of some emotion.

Jim didn't know if he was joking or not, but he laughed anyway. "Yeah. Sometimes I get that feeling too."

Dare he think it, Spock almost looked pleased for a split second before gesturing towards his couch. "You may have a seat."

Jim moved to do just that, sliding past Spock. He missed the little head cock and curious look on Spock's face, but things still happened even if he wasn't observing them. He could still feel Spock's eyes on him, though. That was hardly abnormal. After all, he was in Spock's room, demanding his attention. It would be just rude if Spock were ignoring him. Jim plopped down, sprawling into his seat and looked up at Spock from under his lashes. Yeah. Definitely had his full attention.

"So." Jim grinned lazily.

Spock quirked an eyebrow as he moved to sit next to him. "Yes?"

Jim knocked their knees together, leaving the lower half of his leg pressed to Spock's when he didn't pull away. "I guess we should get started on this whole playing around in each others heads thing."

"It would be prudent not to delay." Spock agreed, but made no move to do anything.

"So..." Jim hummed, tapping his foot on the floor and feeling his leg slide against Spock's. "Normal mind meld, meld through the bond, or should we try just having it open?"

Spock seemed to hesitated there, which was strange because he went from not doing anything to not doing anything, but in an entirely different way. "You expressed previously a hesitation at the mental contact required for a meld. I believe it would be most beneficial to continue acclimating ourselves to the existence of the bond without further mental contact."

Jim nodded, but he couldn't quite keep the pout off his face. "Okay. That sounds reasonable. Yeah."

He glanced up at Spock to see his eyes lingering on his lips. Jim couldn't fight the smile then. Yes, pouting was highly illogical. Especially when he didn't want his first officer in his head. Jim was an illogical guy.

"Do you wish to be in contact before I remove the shielding?" Spock asked primly.

That shouldn't sound near as dirty as it did. Jim flushed. "Think of what Bones would say if he realized we were removing layers of protection."

"I do not wish to discuss Doctor McCoy at this juncture."

Jim noticed the slight discomfort in his tone and smirked. "Oh? I see. You can't give me brain herpes or something can you?" Spock raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I know that healer guy said our minds were perfect for each other or something, but I don't want a mentally transmitted disease or something. And you aren't going to get me brain pregnant or anything, are you?"

Spock looked completely helpless and lost, so Jim laughed, slapping his arm. "Teasing. Spock. I'm teasing."

"Indeed." Spock straightened himself. "While it is possible to achieve sexual climax through mental contact, it is perfectly safe. Further, one would have to enter another being's mind with the intent to do so."

Jim flushed, sitting up straight, eyes wide. "Are you serious? Oh wow. That's...wow. I don't even..."

Spock almost looked smug and Jim flushed darker. Okay. So Spock had won that round. That didn't mean Jim couldn't gracefully one up him. Which he proceeded to do as he lowered his eyelashes and ghosted his fingers over Spock's, shifting to invade his space. Spock's face went green and Jim smirked, sliding one hand up Spock's forearm and using it to brace himself as he held himself inches from Spock's mouth.

"I think this should be about enough contact." Jim purred. "If it isn't...well, I'm certainly in the right position to remedy that."

Spock gulped, staring up at Jim like he was the personification of illogical things everywhere. His voice was tight as he attempted to contradict that thought. "A logical proposal."

It wasn't a very good joke, Jim decided a moment later when Spock lowered the shielding between them and Jim found himself pressing his lips to Spock's. It had been instinct, he told himself, but it was incredibly awkward. Jim valiantly didn't think the word kiss, because CPR was more romantic than what he was doing. Jim's mind decided now would be a good time for a mutiny attempt, because when he tried to pull back, he found instead that he was pressing closer. Spock hadn't moved either way, obviously having expected this a bit more than Jim did.

Spock wasn't putting the shield back up, so Jim was going to have to figure this out on his own.

The only thing he was really getting through the bond was a sense of amusement and exasperation. Jim certainly hoped he was getting his annoyance back, and not so much the embarrassment.

He took a deep breath through his nose, considering what to do next. Clearly he was going to need to shift contact points, if he wanted to at least stop smashing his mouth into his first officers. One small point of his brain pointed out that his tongue was an entirely different point of contact, but it was ignored, because Jim didn't really like that thought. Somewhat aggressively, Jim yanked on Spock's arm. While it did shift their positions slightly, making for a slightly more interesting mouth to mouth scenario, it accomplished a much more important goal. Specifically, Jim laid Spock's hand against his lower back.

Spock hesitated for a moment before splaying his fingers across bare skin. Jim broke their lips apart with a gasping little sigh. His mouth was practically numb and he felt like his lips were going to bruise. He couldn't even imagine how it would feel after if they had actually kissed.

"Sorry." Jim murmured, lips brushing Spock's ever so slightly as he spoke.

"I had believed you were prepared for the shield to be lowered." Spock declared as though he thought it was his fault.

Jim hummed, pulling back a little farther. "I guess I had it coming. It was my own damn fault."

"Affirmative." Spock quirked an eyebrow and shifted his hand slightly.

Jim smirked. "Was that payback for all these Vulcan kisses I've been stealing?"

Joking always made things better. Always.

"For you to steal them, they would have to have not been given freely."

Not always.

Jim flushed. "Just because you aren't actually protesting it because of the whole bond thing and feeling guilty about jumbling up my head a little doesn't mean anything. Besides, it's a human saying referring to kissing someone unexpectedly."

Jim pouted folding his arms over his chest. A second later he realized that his only point of contact with Spock was the firm hand on his lower back, grounding him. Spock was gazing up at him, still too amused. Finally, he quirked an eyebrow. Jim flushed, but refused to budge. He wasn't gong to lose this...whatever it was they were having at the moment. The bond sang in the back of his head, trying to make him giggle with the sudden strange and infectious amusement Spock was feeling. Jim was not going to smile.

"It isn't funny." Jim protested.

Spock slipped his hand a little higher up Jim's back and earned a hiccup for the action. "Indeed."

Jim scowled. "You aren't going to win."

"Win?"

"This." Jim gestured between them. "I've got years more experience teasing over you. I'll win."

Spock damn near smirked. "I was unaware we were competing."

"The hell you were." Jim growled. "I'm a natural flirt. I can be seductive in my sleep. I will win."

Spock's eyes raked over him before he settled on his face, giving him a deceptively neutral look. "Most fascinating. How do you intend to demonstrate this Jim?"

Jim felt like his organs just started playing hopscotch, because they were flipping around all over the place. If the first time he'd had a discussion about using his first name with Spock had zero inflection, this time it had all of it. How something could have all of the inflection he didn't know, but if there was something that hadn't just been communicated through that word, he had missed it. He directly attributed this to Spock being far better about this teasing thing than he had previously let on. Apparently he was getting a lot of practice with Bones. That annoyed him a bit more than was strictly fair.

Jim leaned down, ignoring the way Spock's hand inadvertently slipped down to his ass with the action. "You don't want to test my boundaries, Spock. When I get in a teasing war, I always get my way. This will end with you begging me to stop."

Spock's eyes flashed with that darkness. "I do not beg, Jim."

Jim's breath hitched a little and he decided his heart was speeding up at the challenge. He stood up straight, eyes locked on Spock's. He was still ignoring the hand that Spock hadn't seen fit to relocate. With a huff, Jim turned, darting out of his grasp. A second later he remembered the bond, which up until that point hadn't seen fit to complain about their contact ratio. It made its protest known immediately and Spock was out of his seat before Jim's knees could give out, wrapping his arms around his torso.

Jim gasped, shaking fingers gripping Spock's forearms. "That wasn't one of my better decisions."

Jim could feel Spock hesitate at his back a moment, before he leaned down and pressed his nose to the skin right behind Jim's ear. It sent a very warm sensation through Jim's entire body. He shuddered a little as Spock inhaled deeply.

"You have changed your scent." Spock declared softly.

Oh. The cologne. "It's just cologne." Jim protested.

Spock shifted, so he was almost pressing his lips to the nape of Jim's neck. "It is a most peculiar scent. Is it Terran in origin?"

"Uh." Jim tried to block out the little sparks shooting through his skin and concentrate. "Yeah."

"It mixes well with your natural scent." Spock observed. "Objectively speaking."

Jim chuckled. "Objectively. Right. It's a pain to get just the right amount. So I don't wear it often."

Spock didn't respond, simply took another deep breath. Jim felt himself warm a bit with embarrassment, but he couldn't quite fight down the fact that he was pleased. No one wanted to be told they smelled awful, he reasoned. He actually felt a bit sleepy, with Spock wrapped around him like that and Jim brushed it off. Logically, it was a good thing he wasn't having his usual reaction to being in someone's arms. That would be weird. So in the long run dozy was strange, but not alarming.

"I don't think I'd mind smelling like your incense though." Jim murmured, feeling weirdly content and he figured that was just the bond relaxing after its little panic attack.

Spock's grip on him tightened and he straightened, pulling back from where he had been 'inspecting' Jim's new scent. "I see."

Jim frowned, wondering just what he'd done wrong. Spock all but vacated his space, keeping a hand lightly on Jim's wrist. Just two fingers pressed to the sensitive flesh. The bond wobbled a bit, but Jim ignored the concern. Spock wasn't going to just stop touching him. He was still right there. Spock would be there.

It felt like something clicked, just then, but Jim couldn't quite grasp it.

Gently, he pulled his hand back, dragging the entire way until his fingers slid past Spock's and he was left without a contact point. Well, almost. The bond was still there. Jim ignored the little bubble of panic that was starting to set in at not touching Spock, plunged into his own head and touched the bond briefly, reassuringly. Spock went very still next to him. They were still both there.

Oh. Jim hadn't realized before, but the bond was just another living part of him. Just like his gut, or his heart, or his brain, and sometimes his hands and other pieces of anatomy, it had needs, it had desires. And just like his gut, there was instinct involved in it. He'd acted on bonds before, when he thought about it. His bonds had just never had the ability to make him sick the same way his gut did. If that was all it was, then Jim could handle it. Beyond just the skill to ignore certain instincts, Jim could understand where it was coming from. The reason they had such violent reactions when the shield dropped was because the bond wanted to protect itself and felt like it was starving when there was no contact between them.

And like how he needed excitement, and challenge, and to learn, he needed just a little more contact with Spock now.

"Could you always feel this?" Jim croaked. "How starved the bond is?"

Spock looked genuinely awestruck. "Yes."

Jim frowned. "We...we're hurting it."

"The bond will not be so profoundly affected-"

"No!" Jim felt more alarmed than was probably necessary. "I...I know I can't keep it open constantly. I'm not there yet, but I will be. We just need to practice keeping it open longer and longer."

Spock nodded, eyes still wide with muted wonder. "I understand."

"Good." Jim swallowed hard. "Now I think I'm going to faint."

Spock immediately caught him as his knees buckled and replaced the shield. Jim felt exhausted. Spock was mindful enough to place Jim on his bed, rather than the couch. Jim tried to ignore the way he could instantly smell Spock all over the sheets. He'd sort of half figured Spock's sheets would smell like detergent, in that totally never thought about it before way. Spock sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at Jim in a way he just couldn't scrutinize. Jim figured maybe having the bond open was helping him figure out what Spock was thinking a lot more than he had thought.

"I will call Doctor McCoy."

"No." Jim shook his head. "I'm okay. Just...really tired all of a sudden. I'm guessing actually trying to touch the bond with my practically psi-null brain is a bit more exercise than I'm used to."

Spock watched him for a moment before nodding. "This is likely. You must not induce undue mental strain, Jim."

Jim nodded, before dropping it for a more interesting thought. "Hey...uh...My mom contacted me a little while ago and, well, she hasn't gotten back in contact with me yet, but she wanted me to ask if you'd be willing to talk to her. I know it's weird, and it's bad enough we're lying to your family about our relationship and now my mom is being all 'I want to meet your boyfriend Jimmy' and it's weird and I'm sorry."

Spock raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to stop rambling. "I would not be adverse to speaking with your mother."

Jim smirked, then yawned. "Okay. Great. Now she can't complain."

"Rest for a moment, Jim." Spock instructed. "You are still weak from your attempts to asses our bond."

"Mm." Jim nodded, finding it suddenly very hard to keep his eyes open.

"I will be here when you wake, Jim."

Jim smirked. "Careful. I might seduce you in my sleep."

Spock froze in the middle of standing, his eyes darting over to look at Jim. He had curled up though, and closed his eyes, so Spock disregarded Jim's teasing. He straightened up fully and watched Jim for a moment before turning from the bed. There was no need for him to be anything less than productive at the moment.

… .. . .. …

Jim woke feeling somewhere between super fantastic and absolutely awful. It was the somewhere under the normal curve, though, because he managed to all at once feel even better than that and even worse. His head was killing him. Like, someone forced him to drink Romulan ale then hit him in the head with a hammer five times, killing him. Somewhat contradictory in nature, was the overall sense of well being. Jim sighed, glanced at his bedside table, and froze. He had a clock on his bedside table and unless someone was playing a sick joke, that was not his bedside table.

Well damn.

The pain eased a bit and Jim started to recognize his surroundings. He had fallen asleep in Spock's room. That...could have been significantly worse than it was. He sat up to look around himself and was distinctly aware of the fact that Spock wasn't in the bedroom area. Okay. How long was Jim out for?

He stood carefully, being as quiet as he could. The headache was subsiding much more quickly now, and would probably be gone well before his shift. Assuming he could figure out when his shift was. Jim took a quick assessment of himself. Aside from the pain and the strangely feeling good, he was perfectly normal. His clothes looked absolutely awful, but that was what happened when you slept in nice shirts.

Deciding that could be worse and he'd worry about his clothes when he got back to his room, Jim crept for the door.

He came to a complete stop when he spotted Spock. He was asleep. He was laying on the couch, asleep. He was laying on his side, knees curled slightly so he fit on the couch, his arm pillowed under his head, and his hair mussed, asleep. Jim felt his heart stutter to a stop. It was both the most human and the most alien Spock had ever seemed to him.

Jim wanted to wake him up. Wanted to kneel down and tangle his fingers in his hair and absolutely beam at him when he opened his eyes. Wanted to catch him looking sleepy for even a split second and wanted to see the confusion when he woke up to Jim and couldn't quite control his facial expressions or even begin to fathom why his illogical captain was smiling at him like that.

Jim crept out of the room without waking him. Hopefully Spock wouldn't be upset by that.

Jim froze when he caught sight of Scotty. Scotty, who was staring at him almost slack-jawed. Jim knew exactly how it looked. He had just walked out of Spock's room at god knows how early in the morning (considerably early if Scotty was wandering around that deck) in clothes that looked like they had spent the night on the floor. Jim flushed.

"Ah. Scotty. I-"

"It's nothing Jim." Scotty insisted quickly. "Ah know it isn't any o' my business."

"It isn't like that." Jim insisted quickly, feeling like he desperately needed to clarify. "We-"

"Nay, Cap'n. Don't worry about it." Scotty insisted, shifting awkwardly. "Ah should be leaving. Ah'll hear from ye later Cap'n."

"Ah...But..." Jim frowned after him as he all but raced down the hall.

Fantastic. Now Scotty was getting weird impressions of him. Jim slunked into his room. It was still a mess. He was grateful of that, because if Rand had gone in his room and was aware of the fact that Jim hadn't slept in his room, the entire ship would know. At least he knew Scotty would probably only tell Keenser. With that in mind, Jim made a mess of his sheets quickly. There. At least it looked half slept in.

He checked his clock and found he had about three hours until his shift. Not too bad, considering he usually only left himself an hour and a half. He was going to blame falling asleep before he was used to for waking up early. His head was feeling considerably better. He figured he'd take a long shower, get some food, maybe try to set things right with Scotty, but that was a stretch. He might let that sit for a while so it isn't quite so awkward.

The sonic shower was warm and pleasant. By the time he was done, only the pervasive sense of feeling good was left.

Cleaned, happy, and feeling like a million credits, Jim sat down at his computer to check his messages before he left to get something to eat. Most of the usual stuff. Sam had responded again. Jim had finally sent him a message saying they could talk, but that was it. Apparently Sam had jumped on that. Also, a message from his mother. With no header. That was odd.

Jim was still glowing, so he'd probably check Sam's before he ate, but definitely his mom's first. He was shocked to find it was just one word. A rather emphatic 'WHAT'. Huh. He sort-of recalled the message he had sent, but he wasn't actually sure what she was asking about. He'd re-read his sent message later.

Time to brave Sam's message. It wasn't a video this time. Jim was going to take that as a good sign that Sam wasn't going to be beating him over the head with this whole brotherly bonding thing.

.. ..

Hey bro,

First, thanks for letting me back in. I would dwell on this a little longer, but I guess I'm supposed to talk to you?

Mom called me the other day practically epileptic. I'm not sure what you did, but she's freaking out. I am sure you did it because your name came up twenty times in a ten-minute babble fest.

I know it's probably not my business, but could you try not to freak her out so bad?

Sorry. And thanks, a lot. Love you Jimmy.

Sam

.. ..

Hu. Well that probably explained why his mom could only muster up a single coherent word. Jim also had no idea that Sam and his mom were in contact. Who reached out first, he had no idea, let alone how long it had been going on for. His mom hadn't ever brought it up. That was probably a tactful decision on her part. Jim sent off a quick reply, telling him he'd look into it. The only thing he sent to his mom was that she needed to clarify her message and that Spock had agreed to talk to her, so be less weird.

Content that that was all handled, Jim left for breakfast.

That was when his day got weird. Not because people were glancing over at him, because that was perfectly normal. What was odd was the way Uhura was in the canteen whispering to crew members and immediately stood up straight and vacated the room when he entered. He had thought Uhura liked him, but she practically ran from the room. Hu. Something was up there. Jim would approach her later, when he could corner her reasonably, and find out if everything was alright.

It wasn't long before McCoy made his way up to get food and spotted Jim. "Morning. You're up early."

"Got to bed early." Jim smiled.

McCoy froze, staring at him like he had sprouted foot long pink antennas. "Good lord."

"What?" Jim frowned.

"You...uh...how was your night?" McCoy sat down, having forgone his meal, looking shocked.

Jim fixed him with a thoroughly confused look. "Fine. Bones. Why are you staring at me like that? It isn't a crime to go to bed early."

McCoy shook his head a little, eyes never leaving Jim's face. "So...nothing unusual happened?"

Now Jim was starting to feel a little panic. "No. Bones. What's wrong?"

Bones continued to gawk at him. It was making him very uncomfortable. He started looking anywhere but McCoy in the hopes of finding a distraction. It was provided to him by his first officer walking in the room. McCoy must have seen something on his face because he whirled around to gawk at Spock. A second later he was on his feet and following him towards a replicator. Jim scowled after him.

Across the room, he watched as Spock turned to address McCoy. McCoy's stance went from aggressive to shocked. Finally he seemed to relax. Spock cocked his head to the side and settled into something of a relaxed stance himself. Jim didn't feel near as relaxed as they did.

By the time they had gotten their food, Jim was feeling his stomach twist. He wasn't really feeling all that hungry at that point. Spock and McCoy made their way back to the table.

"Content now?" Jim huffed, glancing between them.

McCoy shook his head. "Don't worry about it Jim."

"Good morning Captain."

Jim looked over to Spock and smiled shyly. "Morning Spock."

McCoy sighed, sinking into his seat with a shake of his head. Jim and Spock both turned to look at him, but he just started eating. It was fairly obvious he wasn't gong to share what was on his mind, so Jim returned to pushing food around his plate. Spock watched him for a moment before turning to his meal.

It was hard to ignore the fact that it was incredibly awkward sitting there. The night before not withstanding, Jim couldn't get the image of Spock asleep on his couch out of his head. It was incredibly distracting. For all they had managed to go through up to this point, he hadn't really stopped seeing Spock as his first officer. Now...now this was entirely different. When did Spock become a person?

Jim didn't feel guilty about that, because he was sure Spock was actually cultivating the robot persona he put forward.

Blew that when he told everyone he was dating Jim and spent the next week blushing, didn't he?

"Eat Jim." McCoy ordered finally.

Jim ducked his head a little, grinning, but forced food into his mouth. He still wasn't quite hungry, but he knew he needed to eat. Sitting around on shift on an empty stomach wasn't going to help him concentrate at all. By the time he needed to head for the bridge, he'd actually managed to nearly finish his food. In the process of cleaning up their trays, the back of Jim's hand brushed Spock's. His heart started racing and that stupid, giddy sense of well being returned.

McCoy swore, breaking the moment. Jim snapped his head to him, and McCoy was wiping up his coffee. "You okay Bones?"

"Fine." He ground out. "I'm fine. Just...go. Leave already."

Confused, Jim did as he asked. Spock followed him into the turbolift, keeping very quiet.

"So...uh...thanks." Jim murmured. "Are you...um...that is, did you sleep well?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "My sleep was adequate, Captain."

Jim glanced away awkwardly. "Oh. That's good. You could have woken me up...you know."

"I had not deemed it important...Jim." The little hesitation was no doubt caused by using Jim's name when they were almost effectively on shift.

Jim rolled his eyes. Yeah. Everything was back to normal. Well, as normal as the command team for the Enterprise could be. Jim took a step off of the turbolift, straight into streamers. He stumbled back in shock straight into Spock's chest. He was momentarily too alarmed to notice that one hand was on his bicep and the other braced against his lower back. Extremely lower.

Chekov was beaming at them. "Congratulations!"

Jim blinked, shifting slightly. It would be great if Spock would move his hand.

"Hi. Ensign...Chekov." Jim noted the amused looks on almost everyone's faces. "What...are you doing?"

"Today iz third month anniwersary!" Chekov announced excitedly. "Is good for celebrating!"

Jim opened his mouth the chew him out. Chekov knew damn well they hadn't been dating that long, let alone actually dating. He paused, because most of the bridge crew was not aware of that. Devious little brat. Jim shot a look at Sulu, telling him he needed to have a conversation with his 'best buddy' about this weird obsession over their relationship.

"Thank you Ensign." Spock drew Jim's attention back to the matter at hand. "However, it is illogical. Further more, your well wishes are unnecessary."

"But-"

"Chekov, it's three months." Jim cried in exasperation. "It isn't like it's a year or something. Do you have so little faith in me that you don't think I can handle a relationship for three months?"

Jim froze, instantly feeling bad. Chekov looked like he was about to cry. The rest of the crew was staring guiltily, like they had probably encouraged his behavior because they agreed it was awesome. Sulu looked a little pissed. Uhura just looked tired. Spock shifted how he was standing, moving so he had one hand between Jim's shoulder and the other at his side.

"Jim." Spock murmured reproachfully.

Jim sighed, pulling himself straight. Okay Captain, you just made your negotiations significantly more difficult. Time to fix things. Jim set his hand on Chekov's shoulder, smiling tightly and squeezing gently.

"Sorry. Thank you. Honestly." Jim noted the way his eyes light up and gave a little looser of a smile. "It's just...I don't really do public anniversaries, you know? Too embarrassing. Besides, everyone always asks to see hugs or kisses and that's not happening."

Jim jerked his head towards Spock, who raised an eyebrow right on cue. Definitely no PDA's happening there. Well, excluding the accidental ones. Jim was willing to discount those though. Chekov laughed, and everyone on the bridge seemed to relax. Uhura was giving him a scrutinizing and amused look. Jim clapped him one more time on the arm and Chekov trotted off happily. Spock pressed gently on Jim's back, kneading his finger tips into the coiled muscles. Jim hadn't realized just how much he had tensed until he relaxed.

He gave Spock a grateful little look and stepped fully onto the bridge. Spock reported to his station without a second thought.

… .. . .. …

Jim was considering marooning Chekov. Just a little. For, like, an hour. He'd pick him right back up. Honestly. He just wanted him to stop reminding the entire crew it was 'three months'. He was so excited, you'd think he genuinely forgot they weren't actually together. And the rest of the crew was taking the opportunity to celebrate. Jim kept finding letters of congratulation tucked into things being handed to him.

He was a little stunned they were going through the effort to actually replicate little pieces of paper.

A few crew members also had made various projections and screens read out well wishes. He didn't feel like he was getting anything accomplished. At least when announced it, they were still on break. He couldn't imagine them getting any work done for a week when they actually made it to one year.

Jim dropped his PADD, eyes going wide with horror. What was his brain doing? They weren't going to be together a year. They would have taken care of it before that. There was no way they would keep lying for that long. There's no way they would. It was only going to be a little longer, then they'd have it figured out and they'd stop. They just needed a little longer to figure out how to handle it. One year was ridiculous. They wouldn't even make it to six months.

"Captain." Spock had moved from his station, most likely because Jim didn't respond when he asked about the PADD.

Jim shook his head, trying to right himself and get rid of the odd thought. "I'm alright."

"You shift will end in 2.734 minutes, Captain." Spock informed him. "Perhaps rest will be in order?"

Jim sighed, kneeling down to pick up his PADD. "I'm fine Spock."

"Fine has variable meanings, Captain."

"Yes Spock. One of which means my health is adequate." Jim looked up sharply.

It was a surprisingly interesting vantage point. Jim sprang to his feet, scowling. His head was clearly getting away from him. Maybe he was more frustrated than he thought. Fortunately, a scowl was fairly appropriate for the situation, so it went unnoticed. They stared at each other for a moment before Jim smirked.

"You've just wasted time arguing with me, Spock. Doesn't that mean you are being unproductive?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am often considerably less productive in your presence captain. Approximately 6.22%."

"That's considerable?" Jim hummed, smirking. "Clearly I haven't been doing my job."

"You have performed the functions of you position within expected human capacity." Spock informed him with a light tilt of his head.

Now Jim leveled him with a heavy look, eyes dancing. "Not that job, Spock. We're off shift. I wasn't talking to you as your Captain."

Spock's eyebrows raised sharply, but Jim had already turned on his heel and was leaving the bridge. Curious. Uhura came up to put her hand on her arm, drawing his attention.

Jim wasn't all that surprised that Spock had left him to his own devices. He had other things that drew his attention. Besides, it would kind of ruin his dramatic, flirty exit if Spock followed him. Which would be right in line with most of their interactions, but that was really not the point.

He had managed to get a dinner that had the potential to make McCoy happy when he spotted Scotty. Just the guy he needed to talk to. Perfect. Jim slid into a seat across from him, beaming. Keenser looked between them suspiciously. Maybe he hadn't heard yet.

"How are you?" Jim asked, staving off his health food as long as possible.

Scotty shifted awkwardly. "Fine. Cap'n. What can ah do fur ye?"

"Let me apologize for our misunderstanding this morning?" Jim implored.

Scotty flushed a little red. "Ye don't-"

Jim raised a hand to stop him. "I got sick. That's all. It wasn't so bad I needed to go to sickbay, but you know how he is...if I wasn't going to get checked, then he was going to keep an eye on me, you know?"

Scotty nodded firmly. "Ah see. It's naw a surprise. The lad does care fur ye."

Jim blushed a little, busying himself with his food. "So yeah. Sorry for the shock to the system."

"It's nothing Cap'n."

Keenser muttered something, Jim was only half listening, and Scotty reprimanded him immediately. He just smiled awkwardly when Jim gave him a questioning look. Jim brushed it off after a moment and turned the discussion to the Enterprise. Yes, technically he was talking work, but she was also Scotty's first love. A lot of his crew, actually, adored their work. He was reminded of the young crew members dragging Vulcans up to him to talk science.

"Hey Scotty." Jim half interrupted a ramble, but he didn't seem to find it all that insulting. "You hang out with your crew off hours, right?"

"Yeah." he blinked, wondering where this line of questioning was going.

"What do you guys usually talk about?"

Jim was immediately bombarded with more engineering. That answered that. Most of his crew really liked their jobs. Was that why they were so eager to talk to him about work and why they liked him? Because he was talking about their hobbies with them? That didn't explain the awkward lulls in conversation whenever he entered the room, but it did explain why he could know absolutely no personal information about them and still have them think he was their best friend.

… .. . .. …

Jim glanced up from his PADD, over towards his computer. He was finishing preliminary instructions because they were going to enter orbit while he was asleep. His computer was beeping incessantly, informing him that someone wanted a live video conference. With a confused sigh, Jim set aside his work and headed over to his desk. His mother.

Jim shrugged a little, settling into his chair. It was probably a bit too late to get Spock, but he could talk to her on his own. It might even be a good chance to set down ground rules.

He pulled the chat up with a smile. "Hey mom."

"JIM!" She shrieked, causing him to flail back from his computer. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Jim stared at her for a moment, rubbing his ears and subtly turning down the volume on his computer. "Ow."

She was heaving in alarm. "Are you out of your mind? What's wrong with you?"

"My guess would be a lot." Jim snapped. "What are you angry at me for now?"

Winona paused, eyes softening a little. "Jim, baby. I'm so sorry. Just...talk to me? Are you alright? Is everything okay between you and your boyfriend?"

Jim scrunched up his face in confusion. "Me and Spock? Yeah. Everything's great. Why?"

She seemed to relax a bit, but the worry in her eyes only intensified. "What...I mean...how is your relationship...progressing?"

"Um...What exactly are you asking me?"

"It's just...well, I know you Jim." She gave a guilty little smile. "Well enough, anyway. And...you're satisfied with your relationship? And...well, your intimacy level?"

He flushed scarlet, realizing exactly what had his mother in such a fuss. "Are you seriously worked up because Spock and I aren't sleeping together?"

She blushed a little. "Well..."

Jim groaned, smacking his head on his desk for a moment before fixing his mother with a wholly unamused look. "Seriously? This was worth bugging Sam about? No, Spock and I aren't having sex. Yes, I am perfectly content in this situation. Geez, mom. Is it such a bad thing that I'm not sleeping with my boyfriend? Our relationship is built off of more than just sexual gratification. In fact, currently it isn't built off of that at all."

Winona smiled. "You must really like him."

Jim blushed. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you wouldn't be in a romantic relationship with someone if you didn't." She looked unfairly pleased. "You don't sleep with people for their personality. And you don't sleep with people if you like their personality. Now, admittedly you haven't slept with him yet, but you don't do romance if you like people either."

Jim narrowed his eyes. "I think you've been reading too many tabloids. You've got the wrong idea about me."

"Then what idea should I have?"

Jim didn't know how to respond. Not without telling her that their relationship was a lie. So he just shook his head. When he looked back up to meet his mother's eyes, she had reigned in some of her giddiness. She was still far too happy for her own good, or Jim's for that matter, but at least it looked like she was content to leave it alone for now.

"So when do I get to meet him?" She demanded, changing the conversation.

Jim scowled. "Not now. It's late. He's probably meditating."

"Would it hurt to ask?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"Mom!" Jim snapped. "We can make plans. But I'm not going to just spring this on him because you want to talk now."

She paused, pouting. "Okay. I'll send you a message with my schedule. We'll set up a time to talk. Soon, though."

"Yes mom." Jim sighed, smiling a little. "I'll talk to you soon. I promise. Good bye."

She looked momentarily surprised, before nodding. "Good bye."

Jim shut his computer down, remaining perfectly calm until the correspondence was closed. With a growl, he then stood and slammed his fist into his wall. What was with everyone calling him a slut? He found himself storming out of his room and pounding on Spock's door. It was only a second after he started banging that he realized what he was doing. Somehow, he was still too angry to stop himself.

Spock opened the door with eyebrow pre-raised. "Jim."

Jim gritted his teeth. "Can I come in?"

Spock stepped aside quickly, and Jim immediately raced into the room. He moved to sit on the couch, with Spock following closely.

"Am I a slut?"

Spock lowered both eyebrows in something of a glare. "You are not. Inform me who used this term to refer to you."

"No one." Jim waved his hand dismissively. "It was just implied. How can you be sure I'm not? I mean, I used to be a bit loose in the academy, but I don't sleep with that many people."

"I am aware of your previous sexual reputation. Your behavior has never been excessive for a human. Further more, Jim, you should not allow anyone to attach a base connotation to your actions." Spock knelt in front of him. "Inform me who insinuated this about you."

Jim blinked, surprisingly pleased that Spock didn't care and didn't think less of him for it. "Don't worry about it, Spock. Thanks."

"I am not worried." Spock informed him curtly. "You can not allow any crew member to behave in such manner. Inform me who has insinuated this about you."

"It wasn't a crew member." Jim frowned. "It's nothing. Spock. Hey, Spock...It's okay."

He leaned forward, resting his hands on the side of Spock's face, shifted them back towards his neck. He was surprised, could feel a tremble of anger through the bond, through the shielding. Jim rubbed his thumb just below Spock's ear, watched him flutter his eyes shut. Spock looked significantly calmer. He brought his hands up, gripping Jim's wrists softly, thumbs rubbing circles against the pulse points there. Jim slid off the couch, so he was kneeling with Spock on the ground. Spock opened his eyes, watching Jim silently.

"It's okay." Jim repeated. "It's okay Spock."

Spock leaned into his touch, breathing deeply through his nose. "Jim. I do not wish to allow anyone to insult you. I apologize for my anger. I am...protective of you."

Jim grinned. "I hadn't guessed."

"Jim." Spock fixed him with a surprisingly open, flat look.

Jim's smile softened and he shook his head. "Take down the shield Spock. It's okay."

Spock hesitated, his eyes showing a degree of uncertainty, but he did so. Jim could feel immediately a good deal of anger coming from Spock. It made Jim feel good, better that he should have. Carefully, gently, Jim pushed that back, used the bond. He fed it the comfort, the happiness, everything Spock was making him feel. There was no anger left, no disappointment or anything like that.

Spock jerked back, the shield flying up between them almost painfully.

Jim gasped, leaning back against the couch. "Spock..."

Spock stood sharply, placing his hands at his back. "I apologize, Jim. I was unprepared for the...efficiency of the bond for transferring emotions."

Jim winced. "Shit. Sorry. I didn't even think...I'm a colossal jackass making you deal with my emotions. God. I'm sorry."

"You do not need to apologize, Jim." Spock righted himself. "You have been very efficient in expressing your...feelings...on the matter."

Jim snorted out a chuckle, lifting himself out of the extremely awkward position he had slid into and onto the couch. "So it's no big deal now?"

"Indeed." Spock raised an eyebrow at him. "How is your current mental state?"

Jim paused, actually thinking about it. "A little bit of a headache...feeling a bit tired...but good. I feel...really good."

Spock's eyes softened a little. Jim grinned.

"Sorry that I bothered you over all that." He stood up from the couch with a little shrug. "But thanks. It helps a lot knowing I'm just over reacting to things. My ever logical first officer as always, you always set me straight."

Spock eyed him a moment before nodding curtly. "If there is nothing else, Jim, I wish to return to my meditation. We will discuss the matter further over breakfast."

"Yeah. Okay." Jim nodded.

After a quick goodnight, Jim was back in his room. Significantly fewer cat calls greeted him as he was leaving Spock's room. Apparently you just didn't mess with a guy who already said he wasn't doing PDA's on his 'anniversary'. Jim couldn't help but snort out a laugh at that. Uhura hadn't been kidding about Chekov. Oh well, he'd set him straight or he'd make him sad with the rest of the crew when they 'broke up'. Either way, it wasn't going to hurt anything. Jim finished sending off those orders and turned in for the night. Tomorrow they'd be on a new adventure, and nothing could dampen his spirits at that.

… .. . .. … … .. . .. … … .. . .. …

Poor Scotty. He just doesn't know how to handle Jim.