NCIS' Got Talent!

Chapter 5- Ducky & J.P.

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: So here's chapter 5 out of 6 or 7 (more probably 6).

If you wanna know who J.P. is, read camcampgirl's review for ch. 4 of this story or simply read till the end of this chapter ;)

Abby's lab, Wednesday morning

"Abby, have you seen Mr Palmer?" NCIS pathologist Dr Donald 'Ducky' Mallard asked as he stepped into the room. His assistant Jimmy Palmer was usually on time, but this morning he wasn't, meaning Ducky had to bring whatever evidence he had found to Abby's lab himself.

"No, sorry... Maybe he's still with his girlfriend? I'm sure he'll be there soon. So, what've you got for me?"

Ducky placed a small glass container on the table next to Abby. "This bullet was stuck in our second victim's chest. Can you find the gun it was fired from?"

Abby feigned offense. "Ducky! Of course I can... well, at least I can try."

"I know you can do it." Ducky smiled, looked around the room and spotted the black box on one of the tables. "Is that your famous karaoke machine?"

"Yeah, erm, no. It's my cousin's, I'm just looking after it while he's on Hawaii."

"Oooh, Hawaii... I've been there, too."

"Really?"

"It was many years ago, but I still remember the woman I met there... What was her name again? Oh, Maria, right."

Abby grinned. "Maria. Some exotic Hawaiian beauty, huh?"

"Not exotic at all, she was from Edinburgh. But you were right about the beauty part."

"And after a few cocktails, you two ended up singing 'Auld Lang Syne' on the beach, right?"

"Not quite. We only had one cocktail each and then joined a group of Scottish travelers in singing, 'Scotland the Brave'. Unfortunately, we were told to leave the beach after the first stanza because some people apparently didn't like the sound of our bagpipes."

Abby went over to the karaoke machine and switched it on. "You wanna sing the rest of it while you're waiting for Jimmy? I kinda like bagpipe music."

"Yes, why not? But I don't need the lyrics, I know them by heart."

Of course he does. "Okay Ducky, there you go," Abby agreed before pressing the 'Start' button:

Hark when the night is falling
Hear! hear the pipes are calling,
Loudly and proudly calling,
Down thro' the glen.
There where the hills are sleeping,
Now feel the blood a-leaping,
High as the spirits
of the old Highland men.

Towering in gallant fame,
Scotland my mountain hame,
High may your proud standards gloriously wave,

Land of my high endeavour,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart forever,
Scotland the brave.

High in the misty Highlands,
Out by the purple islands,
Brave are the hearts that beat
Beneath Scottish skies.
Wild are the winds to meet you,
Staunch are the friends that greet you,
Kind as the love that shines
from fair maiden's eyes.

Towering in gallant fame,
Scotland my mountain hame,
High may your proud standards gloriously wave,

Land of my high endeavour,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart forever,
Scotland the brave.

Far off in sunlit places,
Sad are the Scottish faces,
Yearning to feel the kiss
Of sweet Scottish rain.
Where tropic skies are beaming,
Love sets the heart a-dreaming,
Longing and dreaming for the homeland again.

Towering in gallant fame,
Scotland my mountain hame,
High may your proud standards gloriously wave,

Land of my high endeavour,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart forever,
Scotland the brave.

"Doctor Mallard?" Jimmy Palmer was standing in the lab door. "Sorry I'm late, I was with Breena and..."

"It's okay, Mr Palmer. Believe it or not, there was a time when I was young as well. Plus I also had a little fun with Abigail's karaoke machine while I was waiting."

"Really?" Jimmy would never have picked the doctor for someone who enjoyed karaoke. "What, uh, did you sing?"

"Scotland the Brave," Abby replied in Ducky's place. "Big surprise... Now that you're already here, d'you wanna sing a song, too?"

Jimmy glanced at Ducky before turning back to Abby. "Well, yes, but since I'm already late..."

"Don't worry Mr Palmer, I'm sure our dead Marine will forgive us for spending five minutes enjoying a little music before starting his autopsy."

Jimmy swallowed and went over to the table with the karaoke machine on it. "Okay. Fair warning though, I'm not exactly a great singer."

"Well, that's not the point of karaoke anyway, it's all about having fun," Abby calmed him down. "Have you picked a song?"

"Yeah." Jimmy suddenly smiled, causing Abby to rise her eyebrows in question. "Oh, I just remembered that lecture about lung diseases in medical school where the professor suddenly ran out of the room screaming." With that, he pressed the 'Start' button:

I've been afraid of big words since I was a kid
I thought that I'd get over it, somehow I never did
Usually it's no big deal, but every now and then
you're audaciously loquacious- ahhh!
It kicks in again

I went to a specialist and said, what's wrong with me
Based upon your test results, it's not hard to see:
You're afraid of lenghty words, you're not the only one
Here's what your condition's called, but this won't be much fun:

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
If you're afraid of big long words, here's one you should know-a:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!

I'm not even joking, believe it or not
Though it's absurd, that's the word, I don't like it a lot
There's one thing I know for sure, so listen if you please:
Whoever came up with the word did not have the disease!

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
If you're afraid of big long words, here's one you should know-a:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!

I was in my science class when I started screaming
it was 'cause of a video
the teacher was streaming
It was about a lung disease, I hope they all get better,
but whoever named it gave it way too many letters!

(I mean really, who would name a disease
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?)
Not very sensitive to people who have

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
If you're afraid of big long words, here's one you should know-a:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!

"So your professor was scared of long words and ran out screaming when he tried to tell his students about this ultra-microscopic-volcano disease," Abby stated the obvious when the song was over.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. And yes, that's exactly what happened... But now I really have to start working."

Ducky nodded. "I'm afraid our newest autopsy guest is calling."

When Ducky and Jimmy had left, Abby allowed herself a small victory dance. Almost done, the only one missing is Gibbs. If I can record him today, I'll have tomorrow to arrange everything so that I'll be able to show them my surprise on Friday. Maybe I should invite Nick, too- it's his karaoke machine after all. But now I really have to start working.

A/N: Okay guys, there'll be one more chapter with Gibbs singing and Abby revealing her surprise... or maybe two separate chapters, one about Gibbs and one about Abby's surprise. But I think there'll be just one.