ATE: After so long I have finally managed to finish this chap. This is the longest chapter so far in this story (at 10,501 words long). I felt nice and decided to type up a long chapter to make up for the time it took me to finish it. I wanna thank kittygirl365, Crystalmaiden62, Diamond White, Mistress Megatron, 4elementsfan4621, Bumblebeecamaro38, Crazygal217 for their reviews on chap 9, and I wanna thank Diamond White again for the ideas she's given me. You've been so helpful. For this chap I covered Episodes 34 (Regeneration) and 35 (Rescue), just for those who are wondering when this chap is taking place.
Declaimer: I don't own Transformers, Transformers Armada, or Monty Python. I only own my OC Valerie.
WARNING: This chap contains some violence (with some mild graphic scenes) and mentions/attempts of suicide. I'm not sure if the rating of this story should go up, but if anyone things so, then feel free to tell me.
Chapter 10: Regeneration
We all stood in the observatory room in front of the large window that had the view of the med bay. I couldn't help but be reminded of when I last stood her and had been watching Red Alert work on Optimus. But this time Smokescreen replaced the Autobot leader. Smokescreen had done everything he could to protect the Mini-Cons from the Decepticons. And now here we were, watching as the orange Autobot would fight to stay alive. We were all worried about him. I…hoped that he would live through this, smile at us all and tell everyone that it was only a flesh wound.
'I really need to stop watching so much Monty Python.' I thought.
Multiple small device-like arms worked on his body, the medic bot being the one controlling the advanced machinery. One of the arms did something to his chest and soon I spotted a glowing orb of pale blue light, seeming to glow slightly brighter as it pulsed. I couldn't help but be reminded of a human heart when I saw it.
"Hey, what is that thing?" Carlos asked.
"That's the spark." Optimus answered.
"What's the spark?" Rad asked.
"It's what keeps us Transformers alive." Scavenger answered, turning to face us.
"So, it's like your heart then?" Alexis asked.
"Yeaahh…in human terms, I suppose you can say that." Jetfire answered, sounding a little unsure of how to explain it.
"You mean my heart looks like that?" Fred asked turning to face the Autobots.
I knew he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but I didn't thinking it was this bad.
"Nah, I'm guessing yours is a lot smaller." Billy stated.
"Aaahh…" Fred looked over at Billy, looking like he understood. I looked at Fred like he was crazy.
So that was what the spark looked like. I remembered Jetfire telling me about it when he had been over at my house, saying that it was similar to a soul. From what I learned I saw the spark being liked the human heart and soul combined, making it very important and necessary for a Transformer to even exist. If I thought of it that way I could easily understand why people say 'the body is really the prison for the soul'. I placed my hands over my heart and closed my eyes, not expecting what would come next.
I found myself standing in my room, causing me to become confused. Why was I here? How did I get here? I smelled something weird and I couldn't decipher what it was. It was faint, but it smelled heavy like…something was burning! I quickly went to my door and flung it open and I noticed that the smell was getting stronger. I saw that thick smoke was slowly making its way up the stairs and my eyes widened when I realized what was going on!
The house was on fire!
I quickly went downstairs in order to get out of the house and I was shocked to find more than half the first floor was on fire that was burning its way through everything it touched. I saw something on the floor sticking out from around the corner where the kitchen was and went over to it, only to have my eyes widen when I found that it was my Mom's arm and that she and Dad where on the were both lying in a pool of their blood, their eyes still open even after they were killed. Their clothes suddenly set on fire and the smell of blood, decay, and burning flesh caused me to gag. I felt nauseated from the extremely horrible and coppery scent and I clenched a hand tightly over my mouth to prevent the bile from escaping past my lips; I forced myself to swallow to get rid of it and felt sick from the horrible taste. I had to get out of here. I couldn't stay. If I did I would die from being burnt alive, crushed, or a combination of both.
I forced myself to run away, coughing from the smoke that filled my lungs. I managed to make it to the front door and wrenched it open before running outside. The slightly fresh air filled my lungs and I coughed a bit. But the relief I felt from finally making it outside disappeared as my face paled. All over the place I saw the bodies of my friends lying dead in the grass that was stained red. I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but instead I threw up on the ground, the scent of the bile only causing me to release more. By the time I was done I was breathing heavily, the aftertaste of the bile stuck in my mouth as my throat having a slight burning sensation. I lifted my head to look around and that was when I suddenly noticed the familiar forms of Hot Shot and Sideswipe on the ground with some sort of neon blue liquid staining the grass around them as it seemed to be leaking from their bodies. Was it their blood?
"Hot Shot! Sideswipe!" I called.
But despite calling them they didn't respond. And it was then I realized that their optics were deactivated. Were they-!
"No! You can't be dead! You can't!" I screamed.
Tears welled up in my eyes as the harsh truth settled in. They were dead. I started running off in a random direction, not caring were I was going. As I ran I saw that a good number of trees had been knocked down and (to my horror) the dead bodies of the Autobots scattered everywhere in the same state Hot Shot and Sideswipe were in' I started crying uncontrollably when I saw Optimus dead. But then I noticed that I didn't see Jetfire anywhere.
"Jetfire!" I called out, hoping he would hear me. "Where are you?"
I felt the ground shaking slightly along with loud footsteps walking unevenly. I turned in the direction it was coming from and my eyes widened in shock when I saw Jetfire limping his way over to me slowly, his right hand holding his blaster as that arm was hanging at his side while his left hand clutching the right side of his abdomen as it was slowly leaking neon blue liquid underneath it. His body was dented in various places with some circuits that were expose (which were normally hidden) sparked slightly from whatever fight he came out of. I slowly and hesitantly took a few steps forward towards him, the tears in my eyes falling with no intention of stopping.
"Jetfire…!" I said, shocked and scared to see him in this state..
"S…S-Sky…dancer…" He said weakly once he noticed I was there. I watched as Jetfire's legs seemed to give out from underneath him and he collapsed to the ground, groaning in the pain he was in. I cried out as I rushed over to him near his face. He gazed at me with his gold optics and he must've released his hold on his blaster since he placed his right hand behind my back, lightly pushing me towards his face until I was barely a foot away from his face. "S-Sky…dancer… T-thank Primus you're safe…"
"Jetfire!" I wrapped my arms around (or what I managed to) his face and held onto him. "W-what's going on? What happened here?"
"W-we tried…we tried…to protect you from him…" He told me. "T-the others…gave their lives to keep you safe…"
"I didn't asked for this!" I shut my eyes tightly as I hung my head, shaking it in disapproval. "I didn't ask for any one to die for me! Everyone's dead a-and it's because of me! I don't want you do die, Jetfire! Don't throw down your life just to protect me!"
"I-I can't do that Skydancer… I made a promise to you…one that I plan on keeping til the very end…"
"Promise?" I looked up at him, confused by what he meant. "What promise?"
"That's right, Jetfire. What promise?"
I gasped when I heard the familiar dark voice behind me and wiped my head around, only to have my eyes widen when I saw Sideways standing behind me.
"S-Sideways…!" I heard Jetfire growl loudly behind me.
I turned around to face Jetfire in time to see him weakly get up from the ground and aiming is blaster at Sideways as he crouched.
"What? Are you going to shoot me with that toy of yours?" Sideways asked, seeming amused.
"I won't allow you to lay a servo on her, you glitching virus!" Jetfire yelled. He started shooting at Sideways rapidly, not seeming to stop as he seemed bent on offlining him. "I'll protect her until my spark is extinguished!"
"Jetfire, no!" I pleaded loudly, my tears falling from my eyes again. "Don't throw down you're life just to protect me! I'm not worth it!"
Jetfire stopped firing his blast when there was barely anything left of Sideways. But to my horror I watched as this weird cloud of black flurry particles appeared on the places where Sideways was shot at and seemed to regenerate his body, looking as if he was never shot at in the first place. He chuckled darkly and sinisterly, causing me to shake in fear from the tone.
"Now it's my turn." He said darkly.
All of a sudden I heard the sound of metal groaning and Jetfire screaming out in pain. I turned around and my eyes widened as I watched Jetfire's arms and wings seemed to bend the wrong way unnaturally from some unseen force, all the while his circuits sparking like crazy as his arms and wings started having that neon blue liquid fly everywhere. The metal on his chest seemed to cave in on itself (reminding me of someone crushing a soda can with their hands) and he let out a ear-piercing, blood-curdling scream that expressed the intense pain he was feeling before his spark suddenly burst out of his chest as if some invisible hand ripped it out of the spark chamber that held it. I screamed, watching as Jetfire's gold optics deactivated and his body fell lifeless to the ground with a loud thump! I watched as his spark faded away like spreading smoke and that was when I broke down. I suddenly felt a stabbing pain in my heart and fell to my hands and knees, gasping as I clutched a hand desperately over it, but nothing seemed to make the pain go away. It was painful, like my heart was being ripped in half and like I lost a part of myself. I couldn't stop crying!
{How tragic.} I heard Sideways say as I heard him approaching. {That pathetic Autobot sacrificed his life to protect you and paid the ultimate price for it.} I suddenly felt a hand roughly grab my arm and jerked me into standing up. I saw that Sideways had shrunken down to the side of a human like before. {I bet you're wondering why your fleshy human heart is in so much pain. If only you knew the truth.}
"Why?" I cried, feeling pathetic and weak. "Why all of this?"
{To show you consequences.} He replied simply. He placed his free hand under my chin, grabbing it as he forced me to look at Jetfire's dead body. He knew just looking at the Autobot's body was painful for me and merely chuckled. {This is one of the many outcomes that will happen if you don't fulfill your end of our deal. What you see is merely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what I'm capable of doing. I can do even worse than this, sweet Valerie. So worse that it would make your nightmares seem like peaceful dreams.}
"Errggghh…" I suddenly heard the loud sound of metal hitting metal, snapping me out of my thoughts and whipped around to see that Hot Shot had slammed his fist together. He looked extremely pissed about something. "Man! Megatron's gonna pay for what he did to Smokescreen! C'mon, Sideswipe. Let's go get 'im."
Hot Shot started walking away towards the door that lead into the hallway.
"Uhhh... Sure." Sideswipe replied. "Where?" He added, realizing that he had no idea where the yellow Autobot was going.
I looked around at my friends, a little relieved that they were alive. But then I remembered seeing their dead bodies all around me and felt terrified. Even if it was just something Sideways made me see in my mind's eyes, it all felt so real. I even thought that it was actually happening! I tried so hard, but I couldn't make myself forget the way Jetfire died and the sound of his scream. I couldn't get it out of my head!
"Skydancer?" I looked up at Jetfire and saw that he was gazing at me with his gold optics. "Are you okay?"
"I'm…" I sighed, suddenly feeling sad. "I'm fine, Jetfire." I finished, my voice sounding hollow.
Everyone seemed surprised by how I responded to Jetfire's question.
"Valerie?" I heard Alexis ask, sounding concerned.
I walked out of the room and down the hallway as I made my way outside. I couldn't stay in that room any longer; if I did then everyone would've started asking questions. I'm not sure how long I could handle the fact of what I got myself into yesterday when I made that deal with Sideways, but I knew it wouldn't last. Not with the guilt I felt, along with what he showed me a few minutes ago. I suddenly felt worry and concern invade my mind, but I forced myself to push it back. It kept persisting and I kept pushing it away. I mentally thought of a wall in my mind in hopes that it would block the feeling.
{Skydancer, why did you leave?}
I ignored his voice, continuing to walk.
{Where are you going?}
"Outside."
{Why? What's wrong?}
I was starting to feel a little frustrated. As he was talking to me I could feel the worry and concern trying to get inside my head. He was trying to distract me by drawing my attention to talk to him while he tried to push past the mental wall I put up. But the fact that he wouldn't stop or give up was starting to irritate me. As much as I hated to do this to him and how horrible it'd make me feel afterwards, I had to do what I was about to do next, no matter how hard it was going to be.
"Leave me alone, Jetfire!" I snapped, regretting every word that escaped my lips, but I couldn't let that stop me. "I don't want to talk right now! I just-" I shook my head. "I just need some time to think!"
The worry and concern I felt seemed to stop as hesitance joined the other emotions trying to invade my mind. They seemed to slowly disappear from my mind before they were gone. I finally went through the doorway leading outside and saw that the sky was blue. I sat down on the ground.
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Jetfire was shocked as he felt the faint feeling of Valerie's presence whenever they talked telepathically disappear from their connection. The connection between them, he figured, was more or less similar to a bridge that connected them. It was when they would talk telepathically that it would've been like they were meeting halfway on the bridge in order to talk to each other face to face. In the metaphorical sense, of course.
But what Jetfire didn't understand was why she was pushing him away like this; it wasn't like her to act the way she did. Yesterday Valerie had been her usual self, but now she was different. What could have happened that caused her to change so unexpectedly? Did something happen after she left the base that had her acting like she was? Jetfire knew that this wasn't like the last time after she had been on her first mission (and had beaten herself up over the fact that Optimus got hurt protecting her). He knew without a doubt that this was something entirely different. But why?
'It doesn't help that she blocked me from getting in her head.' He thought. His spark felt heavy from the fact that she pushed him away. 'Skydancer…'
"Jetfire."
The shuttle mech shook his head to clear his thoughts before turning to look at his leader.
"Yes, Optimus?" He replied.
"Can I have a word with you? Alone?" Optimus asked.
"Sure thing."
Jetfire was confused as he followed Optimus out of the room, making their way down the hallways in the direction of the Autobot leader's office. He wondered what it was that he wanted to discuss to him, especially if it was in private. He went through his CPU to see if he could figure out what could possibly be the topic of discussion. Jetfire felt his spark skip a pulse as he realized something.
'Did he find out that I snuck out of the base to see Valerie a few days ago?' He thought, suddenly feeling anxious. 'If that's the case, then I'm in deep slag.'
Both mechs came up to the door leading into Optimus' offices sooner than Jetfire would have wanted, and as he watched his leader sit behind his desk silence set in. A tense silence that had him dreading whatever words were going to come out of Optimus' mouth.
"Jetfire, why do you think I wanted to talk to you?" He asked.
"To be honest I don't know." Jetfire replied.
"I wanted to discuss something that occurred yesterday. And before you ask, you're not in trouble."
Jetfire sighed in relief, but it was short lived when he realized that he was referring to something that happened yesterday.
"What about yesterday?"
Optimus was quiet and he knew that he was thinking. He lifted his head up to look at the shuttle mech with his gold optics.
"You are aware of what happens whenever we powerlink in battle."
"Yeah, we become one!" Jetfire answered as if it was common knowledge.
"And that also means that we share the same thoughts in order to make it easier to cooperate with each other." Optimus explained. "It was when we powerlinked yesterday that I felt emotions that I knew weren't yours, along with hearing Valerie's voice." Jetfire was shocked that Optimus knew about that and went quiet. He seemed to realize this since he heard him sigh. "Jetfire, you know something, don't you?"
"Yes." He managed to say, his voice serious. "But what I'm about to tell you is something I don't want you telling anyone else. As in whatever is said in this office stays in this office."
"Go on." Optimus nodded his head.
'This is it.' Jetfire told himself. 'There's no backing down.'
"…Valerie's my sparkmate."
"What?" Optimus was surprised by this news. "Jetfire, you know what this means."
"Of course I know what it means!" Jetfire voice rose as he slammed his fist into the wall that was closest to him in his frustration, causing it to dent from the impact. "I've known ever since I first laid my optics on her! I'm aware that she's human and because of that she could be targeted by the Decepticons if they ever find out!" He felt his fist start to shake as he tried to hold back his anger and the fact that he realized how telling Optimus this could change everything now between Valerie and him. "You have no idea how important she truly is to me. Ever since the day my mother was offlined I've treated this war like it were a game for me. I originally wouldn't have cared if I were offlined since I had nothing to lose. But now that I've found Valerie to be my sparkmate I have a reason to fight and live! The engagement connection has already been established between us! You've got to understand, Optimus!"
"I understand, Jetfire. You've made some valid points about what this could mean, but none of them were what I was implying."
Jetfire stared at Optimus with wide optics. He must've looked like a 'deer staring into the headlights', as the humans would say.
"It…wasn't?" Jetfire asked, feeling completely confused and surprise.
"Correct. What I was trying to imply was that you have to tell her." Now Jetfire felt like an idiot for blowing up in Optimus' face. "The fact that you've already established the engagement connection with her is even more reason to tell her."
"I-I know have to tell her! It's just…" Jetfire trailed off, unsure how to tell Optimus what he wanted. He was never afraid to speak his mind and even tell his leader he was wrong to his face if he ever thought so. But here he was, afraid of telling him what he thought for once.
"Alexis recently told me that Valerie is having a performance tomorrow night." Optimus told him. "Red Alert has finally finish the project he's been working on as well."
At this Jetfire's optics widened in surprise.
"You mean Red Alert has finally managed to finish it?" Jetfire asked.
"Yes. I asked him to get as much work done on it as possible." Optimus stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his Vice Commander before placing a servo on his shoulder. "I know how important this is to you, but you have to realize how this is affecting Valerie. She's scared and confused because she doesn't have a clue what's going on or why it's happening. So tomorrow night you will tell her the truth."
Jetfire was surprised that his leader was encouraging him to do this, but then he smiled behind his face mask.
"Yes sir!" He said.
"Good. I won't tell anyone about this." Optimus said. "I think you should check up on her and see how she's doing. With the way she acted earlier I have a feeling something's troubling her."
"You think so too. Don't worry. I was actually going to check up on her after this anyways."
With that Optimus allowed Jetfire to leave and the shuttle mech headed directly to his next destination: outside.
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I stared off at the sky, but instead of helping me clear my head the vision that Sideways made me see kept coming back, along with the fear, dread, and guilt I felt from when I made the deal with him. I had a feeling that he wouldn't let me forget what happened no matter how much I wanted to and was constantly reminding me. I didn't like this at all. Was this heavy feeling I felt the same one that a lot of fictional characters in fantasy books had when they had the weight of the world on their shoulders? I wasn't sure, but it felt like it. I sighed. I couldn't let the others know of this. If I did, would I be called a traitor? But what would I do if they found out?
"I don't think I would be able to handle it…" I said to myself.
"Handle what?"
I jumped slightly before whipping around to find Jetfire standing behind me. I quickly recovered, frowning as I knew what I had to do. I couldn't let him know what was really wrong and had to act distant (as much as I hated doing this to my friends).
"What do you want, Jetfire?" I asked, instantly hating how hollow my voice sounded. If I didn't know better I would've thought my voice belonged to someone else.
"I don't always have to have a reason to be around, but if you must know I'm trying to help a friend who as of late has been acting unusually stubborn, distant, and has been pushing her friends away." He told me. I knew he meant me and I didn't miss the emphasis on the words 'unusually' and 'friends'.
I quietly laughed humorlessly.
"Some friend she is." I said cynically, turning around to look back at the sky. "You sound like you know her really well."
"I do. But what I don't know is why she's pushing her friends away when they could help her. She didn't even explain or give us a reason for why she's acting like she is. If you ask me, I think she's using it as a cover in order to hide what's really troubling her."
My breath got caught in my throat and I tensed up. How did he know that I was acting like I was as a cover up? Thinking fast I got up as I decided to go back inside. I had to get away before Jetfire started asking questions.
"As interesting as this discussion is I think I'm going to go back inside." I said, as I was about to walk past him. "See you later, Jetfire."
"Oh no you don't!" Suddenly Jetfire snatched me up in his hand, successfully preventing me from getting away as he lifted me up so that I was in front of his face. "I don't know why you're acting like this, Valerie, but I want answers! And I'm not letting you leave until you do!"
"Let me go!" I told him, forcing myself to be mean.
"I don't think you heard me correctly, so let me repeat myself. You're not leaving until you tell me why you're acting like this! So you might as well start talking!"
"There's nothing wrong. You're overreacting."
"Wrong answer. I may not be a lie detector, but I know you're not telling me the truth. So why don't you just make things easier by just telling me?"
"You can't handle the truth!" As cheesy as it sounded, it was still true.
"Try me." Jetfire growled menacingly, his voice sounding dark that I had barely managed to suppress the shiver that went down my spine. It reminded me too much of Sideways. He narrowed his gold optics as he brought his face closer to the point that I would've been able to just reach out and place my hand on his face mask.
"You really want to know what's wrong and why I'm acting like this?" I shouted, finally fed up with him being persistent. "It's because Sideways somehow managed to invade my mind and forced me into a deal that I literally had no say in it whatsoever yesterday! And despite everything I do to try and forget about it, it just seems to come back and haunt me!"
My eyes widened when I realized that I told him the one thing I was trying to hide from everyone and clamped my hands over my mouth in shock. Jetfire seemed just as shocked by the news I just shared with him since his optics were wide. The grip his hand had around my body loosened to the point that I could just pull myself out with ease and took the chance to get away. I was surprised at how quickly I managed to climb to the ground and I ran inside.
'He's going to tell everyone now!' I thought, feeling tears start to form in my eyes as I ran to the rec room. 'I can't continue like this! I have to end it!'
Before I knew it I found myself running into an empty rec room and made a bee line into the small kitchen, rummaging through the drawers for what I was looking for. I didn't have to look long and I pulled it out, my reflection looking back at me on the sharp blade. I felt my tears fall from my eyes as I realized what it was I was going to do next as I slowly made my way over to a table that happened to have post it notes and a pen. Uncapping the pen, I quickly wrote on a post it note my last message to everyone.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to betray anyone.
Valerie
More tears fell as I read the words over in my head. I held the knife in my right hand as I lightly pressed the blade to my wrist. I gulped as I contemplated whether or not I should kill myself. It was so hard that I was having second thoughts about it.
'It's either this or be branded a traitor for the rest of my life.' I told myself as I continued to cry.
I hissed in pain and I suddenly realized that I had accidentally pressed the blade on the side of my wrist near my thumb instead of the vein I had been aiming for. Some blood oozed from it, but I could honestly say it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the cut I got on my arm a week ago. The pain made me realize that this wasn't right. But it was the only way…
"Valerie!"
My head shot up in the direction the voice came from just in time to see Jetfire running towards me. He suddenly scooped me up in his hand and I dropped the knife, which hit the floor with a clatter. I was too shocked to do anything or protest and just stared off into space, tears forming in my eyes as I realized, in my guilt, what I had been so close to doing. I almost committed suicide. I hung my head as I started crying. I was so stupid! I hadn't even thought of what could happen if I had killed myself. I didn't think of all the people that would've been sad. And the worst thing of all, I didn't think of how it would affect Jetfire, especially after he told me about Astera.
"Why, Valerie? Why would you try to offline yourself like this?" He asked me, bringing me close to his chest where his spark was. "All this just because of that twisted fragger."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said, feeling guilty.
I felt Jetfire moving around and I lifted my head up slightly to find him sitting down on a large transformer sized chair. I heard him sigh.
"What was this deal that Sideways forced you into?"
"He didn't say. All he told me was that I had to wait until the time came to serve my purpose. He said that if I refused everything I cared about would be destroyed."
"And earlier? Was that why you wanted to be left alone?" I shook my head. "Then why?"
"He reminded me of the deal when he showed me a vision today of one of the many things he'd do if I didn't complete my part of it. It was like I was actually there and it felt so real."
"What happened?"
"I was inside my room and I smelled something burning. It turned out that my house was on fire…a-and Mom and Dad were dead and were being burned. I went outside and I found Alexis, Rad, Carlos, Billy, and Fred dead in my front yard, along with Hot Shot and Sideswipe being dead with this neon blue liquid leaking from them. It was like blood or something…"
"That's because it was. The neon blue liquid you saw was energon, our lifeblood." His voice was quiet. "I know this is hard for you, but please tell me what happened next."
"I-I ran…just like that. I saw that everyone else was dead as I ran, but I didn't see you anywhere. And then I saw you limping into the clearing I was in. You were so badly damaged…and you were holding your side to stop energon from leaking out of your side. You were making your way over to me when you collapsed and you told me that you were glad I was safe." I left out the details that would've normally made my face heat up, but it didn't at the moment. "You said that everyone died trying to protect me, but I told you that I didn't want anyone dying because of me. Then you said something about a promise you made to me but then Sideways appeared. You tried to protect me from him, saying that you'd protect me until your spark was extinguished. A-and then he killed you in the most horrifying way…" I felt tears fall from my eyes as I remembered everything so vividly. "Your body was literally bent and crushed and there was so much energon. Your spark was ripped out of your body…and it just faded away. I can't forget the way you screamed. I can still hear it. My heart was in so much pain, like it was being ripped in half, and I felt like I lost a part of myself…"
I couldn't stop myself from crying uncontrollably. I didn't think it would be this hard to tell anyone about the vision I had, but it didn't help that I could remember it as if it were happening right in front of me. The hand Jetfire held me in started moving upward, but I didn't really pay too much attention to it. Suddenly I felt something lightly nuzzling the crook of my neck and I lifted my head up to find that Jetfire was nuzzling me with his face mask; his optic were dimmed and realized that he was holding me with both hands. My face heated up in surprise since he had never done this before. It was almost intimate, but strangely enough I didn't mind.
"Shh… It's okay, Skydancer." Jetfire said quietly in a soothing tone. I felt his face mask slightly vibrate as he spoke and it tickled a little.
Jetfire started humming the Cybertronian Lullaby to me like he always did whenever I was like this. As I listened to the calming song I felt myself relax a bit and eventually I managed to stop crying. I closed my eyes as I imaged Astera singing the lullaby to Jetfire when he was just a sparkling. It wasn't hard since I knew what his mother looked like in the picture he showed me yesterday.
"Please…don't tell anyone about this…" I begged after I had calmed down a bit.
"I won't. I promise." His optics lit up and he gazed at me. I suddenly felt something; it was similar to the reassurance he sent me yesterday, but it was warm, caring, and…affectionate? Something about it made my stomach do flips. "I think it's time I took you flying."
My eyes widened in surprise, and everything that happened to me and the horrible vision all seemed to not matter anymore. I smiled a small smile before spreading my arms across his face mask.
"Thank you, Jetfire." I said.
"It's nothing." I giggled quietly from the vibration that came through his face mask. "Why are you laughing?"
"Because your face mask vibrates whenever you talk. It tickles."
"It tickles, huh?" He chuckled, and I had a feeling that if I could see his mouth he'd probably be smirking. "I should remember that for future reference."
I pulled my arms away from Jetfire's face mask as he stood up to leave and I found that I missed him nuzzling me as he pulled his head away. As we left the rec room to go outside I couldn't help but think of the first conversation I had with him after I met the Autobots. It's funny how he was the first one to really get to know me, but I was glad it was him. And now here he was, taking me flying. I felt the breeze on my face and I realized that we were outside the base.
"I hope you're ready to fly." Jetfire said, still holding me close to him.
"I am." I told him.
"Are you nervous?"
"A little. More than anything I'm scared of falling."
"Don't worry! I'll always be there to catch you when you fall."
Before I could register what he said Jetfire suddenly flew off into the sky, still in his robot form. I thought he would've transformed into a space shuttle before doing this and on reflex I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel the wind whipping my hair around as he continued to flying through the sky.
"Skydancer, open your eyes." Jetfire told me. "Take a look."
Hesitantly I opened my eyes and I was surprised at how high up we were. Jetfire didn't go so high because the altitude would've affected me, but we were high enough so that anyone looking at the sky couldn't tell what they saw. This was so much different than flying in a plane. Whereas you were sitting inside the plane while flying, I was experiencing something that a human would hardly get the chance to. You could actually feel the wind and there wasn't a window blocking me from the sky. No words could describe what I was feeling.
"This is so amazing." I said. "Is this what it's like whenever you're flying?"
"Sure is!" He laughed, flying around a bit. "I could do this many times and I wouldn't grow bored."
I continued looking out at everything and suddenly I felt sad.
"I finally accomplished my dream to fly." I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice.
"Skydancer." Jetfire started, carefully turning me around to face him. "Just because you accomplished your dream to fly doesn't mean you stop dreaming. There will always be dreams to accomplish, you just haven't realized what they are yet."
"What about you? What are your dreams?"
Jetfire was quiet and I assumed he was thinking before he answered.
"My dreams are to find the one that was meant to become my sparkmate."
"You mean you can't choose who you want to be sparkmates with?"
"For us, you could say that our sparkmates are predetermined by Primus himself. We can't choose just anyone to be sparkmates. And you know when you've found them when you see each other for the first time. It's kinda like what you humans call 'soul mates'."
I was surprised by his explanation. I didn't know it would be that meaningful for a transformer to find their sparkmate. The way he said it made it sound so important and my stomach seemed to do flips.
"How long does it take to find one's sparkmate?"
"It depends. It could take as long as long as a million years and you wouldn't have found them yet. In cases like that it's usually because the significant other hasn't been created yet."
I felt a little chest fallen. It was hard to believe that a transformer would likely have to wait over a million years just to find their sparkmate. But then I couldn't help but wonder, had Jetfire found his sparkmate or would he have to continue searching for years until he did.
"There was a reason why I brought you here." I looked up at Jetfire when he spoke. "There's something I want to tell you, but I can't say what it is until tomorrow night."
I was suddenly curious about what he was talking about, but then I remembered something.
"But I have a performance tomorrow night." I told him.
"That's okay. I can always tell you afterwards." I had a feeling that if I could see his mouth that he would be smiling. "I think it's time we've got back."
"Okay."
I felt a little disappointed that we had to head back, but I knew that we would have to got back eventually. I kept my eyes opened as I watched Jetfire fly back to the base and I had wished I hadn't kept they closed when we first took off.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Jetfire and I had gotten back to the base that we went to the command center where we found everyone. It was just after the Vice Commander placed me on the floor when I suddenly found myself being hugged by a worried Alexis (who immediately asked if I was okay). I was grateful that Jetfire kept his word and didn't tell anyone about what I told him or that I tried to commit suicide, and because of that something inside me felt something I couldn't explain.
Suddenly the alarm went off, taking all of us by surprise. Jetfire went over to the monitor and we saw that one of the screens showed a jet fleeing from something big that was shooting at it.
"That's strange…" Jetfire mused quietly.
It was quiet and I think I could feel the tension in the air. On another screen I could see Hot Shot and Sideswipe leaving the base.
"What is it, Jetfire?" Optimus asked, breaking the silence.
"Hot Shot and Sideswipe have headed out on their own." The shuttle mech looked at Optimus. The monitor showed that the two young Autobots were heading in the direction of the two objects that were flowing around in the sky. "I dunno why they'd do something like that."
"Hot Shot wants to get revenge." Scavenger stated, as if it were obvious.
"Yeah! Go get 'em!" Carlos cheered.
"Yeah, it's payback time for Smokescreen!" Billy said.
"And freedoooommmm!" Fred…exclaimed? What the hell did freedom have to do with avenging Smokescreen?
"We should get out there, Optimus." Blurr urged.
"No." Optimus said. "Wait a minute. Look at the monitor."
We all looked at the monitor and my eyes widened in surprised at what, or who I saw.
"It's a chase. And that's Starscream." Alexis said, sounding surprised.
"It doesn't look like a decoy strategy, either." Scavenger noted.
"Hmmm…" Optimus seemed to be thinking, but after awhile he spoke. "Let's head out, Jetfire."
"Roger!" Jetfire replied.
"But what if it's a trick?" Blurr asked.
"Trick or not, we still have to help. And if we're lucky we might have a potential ally."
With that Optimus and Jetfire left. I turned back to look at the monitor to see Hot Shot was up against Tidal Wave as Sideswipe chased after Starscream. The yellow Autobot combined with Jolt and fired at the giant Decepticon, but it didn't seem to work. After awhile I spotted Optimus and Jetfire making their way towards the battle and combined into Jet Optimus. Tidal Wave turned and started firing at them, but then Optimus fired back with his blaster. Suddenly Starscream threw the Star Saber at Optimus, which just hovered in the air in front of him before he took it. He managed to cut something off of Tidal Wave and was about to deliver the finishing blow when the Decepticon retreated.
(Later)
Optimus, Jetfire, Hot Shot, and Sideswipe arrived back at the base with Starscream. As the Decepticon explained what happened to all of us I noticed that Alexis was staring at Starscream and never took her eyes off him. And I thought I saw something flash in her eyes before it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"You mean, Megatron actually abandoned you and tried to destroy you?" Scavenger asked.
"It's true." Starscream answered.
"Yeah, right." Hot Shot scoffed. "You can't actually believe this guy. He's a Decepticon, remember? C'mon!"
"Quiet, Hot Shot!" Scavenger ordered as he turned to face the yellow Autobot.
"Have you forgotten that Megatron'll use any dirty trick he can to defeat us?"
"Anyone figured out what to do with this guy yet?" Sideswiped asked.
"He risked his life to get away from the Decepticons." Scavenger stated, his arms crossed. "It wouldn't be fair to send him back there."
"We have no choice. We'll have to protect him, then." Blurr said in a tone that said 'it's final.'
"Wait a minute! What do you mean, 'protect him?'" Hot Shot yelled in protest at Blurr. "It's because of creeps like him, Smokescreen's in the shape he's in now! He doesn't deserve any special treatment from us." He turned to face everyone else. "We should get rid of him right now!"
"I understand how you feel, Hot Shot. I'll never forget what the Decepticons have done to our friend Smokescreen." Jetfire said calmly. I had a feeling that he was reminded of Astera as well, but he didn't show it. "But Starscream's situation is different. He was double-crossed by Megatron and he almost paid the ultimate price because of it."
Starscream sighed quietly. I glanced at Alexis and saw that she seemed to pity him.
"I still don't trust this guy. Let's not forget Starscream betrayed the other Decepticons, too." Hot Shot stated. "He's no better than Megatron. And it's only a matter of time before he pulls one of his dirty tricks on us!"
"Yeah!" Sideswipe agreed.
"Remember Sideways?"
I felt my face pale at the mention of Sideways and I was afraid.
{It's okay, Skydancer…} Jetfire's voice said in my head, accompanied by the reassurance he sent me. I eventually relaxed.
"Don't lump me together with him. We're not the same." Starscream growled.
"I can just imagine what you think of me." Scavenger said sarcastically.
"Uh... well, you're different, Scavenger. You're just different." Hot Shot said, unsure of what to tell the older mech.
The Mini-Cons seemed to be talking to each other as they bleeped.
"All right, then. Let's go." Starscream started walking away, seemly defeated. On of the Mini-Cons turned to us, waving his arms in the air as he bleeped angrily at us.
"Where are you going?" Blurr asked.
Starscream stopped short of the exit.
"If none of you are going to trust me, then there's no point in hanging around here... I guess I'll just have to go and fight Megatron on my own." He said Megatron's name like it were poison.
"You don't have to leave." Alexis suddenly said. I saw the determination in her green eyes. "I think I can trust you, Starscream."
"Huh?" Carlos turned to Alexis.
"Yeah, me too." Rad agreed. "Look how upset Runway is over this whole thing. I think the Mini-Cons would never normally act like that."
"What do you think we should do, Optimus?" Jetfire asked, facing his leader.
It was quiet. I turned back to Starscream and was surprised to see that the Mini-Cons that were with him were latching onto his legs as if to stop him from leaving the base, all the while the Decepticon tried to gently shake them off. It was quite comical and I would've laughed if it weren't for the situation.
"All right! From now on, we consider Starscream part of our team." Optimus announced.
"Aw, you can't be serious!" Hot Shot protested, clenching his fists. "Aww…"
"I won't let any of you down, I promise. And I think I have something to offer that might be of interest." Starscream said, turning to face us. "It has something to do with the Decepticon base. Analyze my data, and you'll be able to sneak into the Decepticons' camp."
"Yeah, yeah." Hot Shot said this in a dismissive tone.
"All right then. Let's get to work on that data." Jetfire said.
"I'd like to help out too." Sideswipe offered. "I may not be the strongest fighter, but I do know a little bit about codes and how to break 'em. So whaddya say?"
"Sure, we could really use skills like that." Jetfire seemed excited for the extra help.
"Sideswipe, not you too." Hot Shot ran off.
"What's wrong?" Sideswipe seemed confused.
"I'm not finished with you yet, Starscream." I heard Hot Shot say quietly before walking past him.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
"This is hard work." Jetfire said as he and Optimus stood behind Sideswipe, who was working at the monitor. "So far we've only been able to analyze about 20% of Starscream's data."
"Well, these codes are all new to me, but I'm doing the best I can to decipher them." Sideswipe told them.
Suddenly Jolt and Runway came flying in bleeping urgently.
"What's the matter, Runway? I thought you were helping Starscream repair his damages." Optimus said.
Jolt and Runway transformed and started bleeping. Highwire bleeped from behind Rad.
"Huh?" Rad seemed confused. "What?" Rad shouted in disbelief and shock as he quickly turned to face Highwire so fast that I was surprised he didn't have whiplash. "Hot Shot and Starscream are fighting right now?"
"Hot Shot should learn how to cool off." Blurr said.
"I was wondering why we hadn't seen him around for a while." Jetfire mused.
"Hey, I bet I know what he's doing." Sideswipe said.
"Why are we just standing here?" Alexis asked, sounding irritated. "We have to do something."
"Well maybe we should just let them work it out." Jetfire suggested.
"It'll be hard to stop my bro." Sideswipe stated.
"Maybe Hot Shot will listen to you, Sideswipe."
"Of course he will, but I'm not a referee."
Jetfire and Sideswipe started arguing with each other and it was hard to hear what they were saying. It almost sounded like Jetfire was saying, 'Yeah, you sure don't have much of a pay wondering right here!'
"Well if somebody doesn't do something, then I will." Alexis said loudly in order to be heard, which was why it was hard for me to understand what Jetfire was saying.
"Ah…! No, no, Alexis. There's no need for that. We'll go." Jetfire said in defeat. It was like he was agreeing with her in order to avoid something bad from happening. He turned towards the exit, only to be blocked by Red Alert. "Huh?"
"Red Alert... How's Smokescreen doing?" Optimus asked.
"He's okay." Red Alert answered. "But I wasn't able to regenerate his normal body, Optimus."
"Huh?"
Suddenly a white transformer with slightly familiar feature and even more familiar orange optics walked into the room. My eyes were wide in shock and I could hear everyone gasp in surprise.
"…Z…z-zombie…" I squeaked.
And then I fainted.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
My head felt a little fuzzy as consciousness started returning to me. I was faintly aware of something stroking the side of my face before I cracked my eyes open. I was surprised to see Jetfire seeming to be kneeling down next to the side of whatever I was lying on, his left arm laying down on the surface as he placed his chin on it as if he were using it as a pillow of sort. I realized that it was the index finger on his right hand that was stroking the side of my face and I turned my head to look at him. I also realized that I had a bit of a headache.
"Jetfire?" I asked quietly. "What happened?"
"You fainted when Smokescreen appeared." Jetfire told me, his voice quiet as if he was aware I had a headache. "Well, he calls himself Hoist now, so I'm not sure if his original name is still valid."
"Why does this feel familiar?"
Jetfire chuckled quietly.
"Probably because this is the second time you've woken up to find me by your side. You hit your head after you fainted so Red Alert told me to give you these when you woke up."
Jetfire lifted his head up from his left arm and he held his left hand out and uncurled his fingers to reveal a bottled water and a small bottle of Advil. I was grateful for the fact that I would have some form of pain relief from the headache and took them from him. Opening the bottle of Advil, I shook it until I had four pellets before uncapping the water bottle and downing the pills. As soon as I swallowed the pills I twisted the cap back on before putting the bottle to the side.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Anyways, we managed to finish analyzing the data Starscream gave us and we'll be leaving for the Decepticons' base."
"Already?"
"Yeah." Jetfire nodded before standing up. He went over somewhere before coming back with what looked like a blanket, which he covered me up with. "You can recharge in here while I'm away."
"'Here'?" I asked, feeling confused.
"'Here' being my room."
Jetfire starting making his way to the door leading out of his room.
"Jetfire?"
"Hmm?" He stopped in front of the closed door, but didn't turn to face me.
"Please be careful."
Jetfire was quiet for awhile before he spoke. "…I will, Skydancer."
And with that he left, leaving me in his room. I looked at what I was laying on and realized it was his berth. I pulled the blanket around me tighter to get warm before drifting off the sleep.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
I was along as I stood in a place of black nothingness. But it didn't last long with I heard a familiar dark chuckle come from behind me.
{Why do you persist on trying to forget our deal?} I suddenly felt him snake one arm around my waist for behind, while the other one came around my neck until his human sized hand caressed my cheek that was on the opposite side of where his hand came from. I felt my body go rigid as he pulled me into close to him and I felt extremely uncomfortable with what he was doing. My throat tightened in fear of what he could possibly do to me. {You know that he's only going to tell the others about what you did.} Sideways whispered in my ear, his voice sounding sickly sweet.
"He won't." I managed to get out. "He promised he wouldn't tell anyone."
{Sweet Valerie. Don't you know talk is cheap? Anyone can make a promise, only to break it in the end. He's no different.}
"Then why would he stop me from killing myself…when he could've just stood back and watch?"
{Because he wanted you to continue to suffer. All those nice things he's done for you were fake. Everything he's told you were lies.}
As I listened to Sideways' words a part of me started to doubt what I believed. Was he right? Would Jetfire really lie to me? He was confusing me. I wasn't sure what I believed anymore. A part of me hurt at the thought that Jetfire could've been lying to me this whole time. But another part was me was trying to cling desperately to the thought that he really did care about me.
"You're lying…" I whispered, my breath shaky as I felt a few tears start to stream down my face. Slowly my resolve seemed to crumble bit by painful bit, and I wasn't sure how long I could hold on to what I had believed.
{Am I?} He asked rhetorically. Sideways managed to turn me around so that I was facing him, but he never let me go. I tried so hard not to look at his face and into those pink optics of his, but something stopped me from looking away and I was forced to look at him. Whereas Jetfire's gold optics were warm and always made me feel a sense of security, Sideways' pink optics made me feel cold inside with no hope of ever being warm again. I tensed up when he placed his hand back on my cheek to caress it and I was suddenly reminded of how similar he was to the devil. {He doesn't care about you. But I do. Just as a flower wilts, so will you if you continue to believe the Autobots. I can stop you from wilting. All you have to do is follow me.}
{LIES!} A feminine sounding voice shouted in an accusing tone.
Before I knew it I found myself on the floor and upon lifting my head I saw that I was away from Sideways, who was merely gazing at the glowing ball of pale blue light that came between us. I instantly recognized it to be a spark, but whose I didn't know.
{Nothing but lies escape your mouth, you fiend!} She said, at least I assumed it was a she by her voice. {Away from this child! Away!}
Sideways merely chuckled sinisterly.
{Just because you managed to intervene doesn't mean I won't ever come back. I will always return.}
With that Sideways faded away and I was left alone with the spark that was slowly floating over to where I was. I lifted myself up so that I was sitting and as I continued staring at it I was suddenly filled with a warmth, the feeling of safety and calmness.
{Are you okay, little one?} She asked me. Her voice was so kind and sweet sounding that it was hard for me to believe that she had been angry not so long ago. If I hadn't known better I would've thought that she wasn't capable of being angry.
"I-I am…" I said quietly, mesmerized by the spark in front of me. "Are you a Cybertronian angel or something?"
I heard her laugh that made me feel warm inside. It was a beautiful sound that reminded me of music.
{I am no angel, but I am a Cybertronian.} I watched as the spark changed shape to resemble the form of a femme, but human size. I couldn't make out her features because of the light so I was only able to see the outline of her body {Do you know who I am?}
"I'm sorry, but I don't." I was so confused. The way she said it made me feel like I should've known who she was.
{It's fine. My son only mentioned me to you a few times.}
My eyes widened from what she said and I finally realized who she was.
"A-are you…Astera?" I asked.
{I am.} She answered. The light from her body dimmed to a bearable lighting, but enough to make her body look ethereal. And I instantly saw that she was indeed Astera and I was surprised at how much she looked like she did in the picture Jetfire showed me. If I had thought she was beautiful in the picture, then she was downright breathtaking in person (along with the light outlining her body adding to the beauty). Her violet colored optics gazed at me in such a loving, motherly way that made me shed a tear at the tenderness that I could never imagine the extent of. To say I was in awe would be an understatement. {I have been watching from the Well of All Sparks for some time now. I have watched as my little Jetfire coped with my death 70,000 years ago, but that changed when you came along. I hadn't seen him this happy since he came home on leave, but even that doesn't come close to how happy he truly is.}
"You mean…I'm the reason for his happiness?" I was extremely surprised by this news. It was like coming home from school to find that your mom had baked your favorite kind of cookies, but 10 times stronger.
{Yes. I'm so glad he found you when he did.} I was confused by what she meant, but that thought fled my mind when she knelt down in front of me and I could see the kindness on her face. {I remember when Jetfire was a youngling. He told me that he dreamed of a human femme with your features. I highly doubt he remembers it now.} I was surprised when Astera suddenly pulled me close to her in a motherly embrace. It was so much different from my Mom hugging me due to the amount of love I felt as she held me. I could tell that she really loved her little Jetfire with all her heart…er, spark. {He really cares about you, Valerie. Don't let Sideways tell you differently.}
"Jetfire was right." I told her. "He was right when he said he couldn't have asked for a better mother."
{I know.} She told me, stroking her hand down my hair. {My son is back from his mission with the other Autobots and is making his way here. I'll sing the Cybertronian Lullaby to you as you wake up.}
I heard Astera singing the Cybertronian Lullaby, the words coming from her mouth being a series of clicks and whirrs mixed together with what sounded like a different language. As strange as the sounds may have been when heard it was really soothing. So this was what Cybertronian sounded like. I could feel myself waking up as I felt a little lightheaded.
{Please take good care of my little Jetfire.}
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
I felt myself waking up and I opened my eyes just as Jetfire entered his room. He saw that I was awake and I could feel the happiness in my mind as he made his way over to where I was and knelt down next to the side of his berth.
"Hey, Skydancer." He greeted. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. My head doesn't hurt anymore." I told him as I sat up. "I had a little trouble sleeping at first, but eventually I was able to."
"That's good. Alexis is waiting for you so that you two can go home together."
Jetfire held out his hand for me to climb into and I did so. He held me close to where his spark was and started making his way to the door, but he paused in front of it.
"Jetfire?" I asked.
"Valerie. I want you to know that no matter what happens I'll always be there for you. I'll even be there to protect you if I'm able to."
My heart seemed to flutter when Jetfire said this and I felt my face heat up. Astera was right. He really did care about me. I had no reason to doubt anything. But then I thought of the fact that my performance was tomorrow night and felt a little anxious. I couldn't help but think back on Jetfire's words earlier today.
What was it he was going to tell me tomorrow?
ATE: That's it for chap 10 of this story. Again I had a fun time writing Sideways again. I think I just have a knack for writing sinister characters like him. And Valerie finally got to meet Astera for the first time. Any ideas you'd like to see in future chaps, feel free to share and I'll give you credit.
Please remember to review! ;D