Author's Note: Thanks so much to the readers and reviewers! The notes you leave are wonderful. Here's a long chapter for you.
Chapter Five: Story of Glory
Naomi took the phone from Effy's hand and leaned against the bedframe. After staring at the screen for a few minutes, Naomi looked to the ceiling. She was going over all the potential outcomes of texting Emily in her mind. Her thoughts were quite exaggerated; she imagined herself being proposed to after a simple text, which shocked her. She reflexively held her left hand, the one resisting the imaginary engagement ring, protectively. Whoa there. It's just a text message. Stop overreacting. Besides, why would Emily propose to me? She's a girl. She's not gay. Even if she were, well, I'm not gay. I like boys. I mean I've had boyfriends before and they were... okay.
Effy shook her head at her friend's visible over-thinking. "I'll just leave you for a bit and pick up some food. Your fridge is empty." Effy had checked it earlier for something to bring Naomi - before she insisted that Naomi wake up.
"I have leftover pizza."
"I threw it out. It looked old." Effy was indifferent to Naomi's attitude.
"It was from last week. I was planning on having it." Naomi was feigning annoyance at Effy because it was another way to not frustrate herself by thinking what to text Emily. Forever finding distractions. Naomi had not actually planned on eating the pizza, which was honestly closer to being a month old. Her fridge was practically empty because she ate lunch and dinner most often at the university cafeteria. Having breakfast was also mostly out of the question if skipping it allowed time for extra sleep or a relaxing smoke before classes started. The pizza was something she had bought when the cafeteria was closed for some maintenance.
"Yeah? Well it's in the rubbish, if you still want it."
"No." Naomi grimaced. "You owe me breakfast."
"I did just say I would go pick up food. And by the way, it's not called breakfast anymore when you wake up at three in the afternoon." Effy got up and left the room, rolling her eyes. "I'll be back later. Clean yourself up - you smell." Effy called out before the front door sounded shut.
Naomi raised her arms and smelled herself. It's not that bad. What do you expect after a party? She had almost protested Effy leaving and insisting on going without food, just so she would not be left alone with her phone and uncontrollable thoughts. "Looks like it's just you and me," she muttered looking at the mobile. Why the fuck not? Naomi decided maybe texting Emily would be the only proof that her imagination was completely unrealistic and implausible. Everything under control - we are just friends, if anything.
Unfortunately, it took Naomi thirty minutes just to decide what to say:
Heeey Emily. This is Naomi by the way. Stupid. Delete.
Hi, what's up? Last night was fun. xoxo Naomi Too much. Too happy. Total sodding overkill. Damn it. Cliché as ever. Delete.
Last night was eventful. -Naomi Understatement. Should not have left Emily there. Probably. Delete.
Sorry I (Naomi) left. No, that looks stupid. Delete.
I like butterflies. Random is charming, isn't it? Ugh, no. Delete.
What the fuck am I doing? Delete.
Effy made me do this. Right? Delete.
Nice weather today. It's Naomi Really, the weather...? Delete.
HELP ALIENS ARE TAKING OVER MY BRAIN! AHHHH! Seriously, what the fuck is this anymore? Delete.
Hi She had hit send quickly, before any second-guessing could arise - not wanting to dwell on what to text anymore. She released a sigh of relief. Following Effy's advice of starting with "hi" can't possibly go wrong. Effy being wrong would be like, against nature or something.
But a second later her heart raced and she panicked. FUCKING IDIOT. SHE DOESN'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER. Should I send another text with my name? Why the fuck did I not write my fucking name like in all the other ones?! No; two texts sounds desperate. Right? No? Yes? Shit, why did Effy leave? I'll just let Emily ask who it is. Then she'll text back for sure. Fuck. Maybe she won't because it's an unknown number - should have given it to her when we studied. Damn it. Fucking shit. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Whatever. Maybe it will be good if she doesn't text me back. At least I sent something. Now I don't have to do anything. I'm free... or so she thought.
She checked the time and figured Effy would be out for a while. As a best friend, Effy was smart enough to know that Naomi would take forever to send the text. She would also have figured out some way to kill the time before Naomi finished getting ready for what was left of the day. So the blonde rolled out of bed - she slept in the nude - and walked into her bathroom. She rolled her eyes at her pathetic self when she walked out of the bathroom, grabbed her phone, and went back in the bathroom. She placed the phone on the counter and examined herself in the mirror.
Naomi's hair was a mess and the makeup Effy had helped her with was smeared across her face; she definitely looked as though she had spent the night partying and in desperate need of a shower. Twisting the hot water knob almost as high as it went, she inhaled the steam that started to cloud the bathroom. She checked her phone. 3:51 pm No new messages Ugh. How long is she going to take?She watched as the mirror fogged up, making her reflection nothing but a blur. She turned back around and stepped into the pouring water. Her aching muscles would have cried out in pleasure if they could. Instead, she hummed to herself and washed away the remnants of last evening.
Chills crept up her back and arms as she stepped out of the shower. Before grabbing her towel from the hook she pressed the button to turn her phone screen on. 4:08 pm No new messages Fucking hell - that only killed like twenty minutes. What will I do now? She tried to dry herself off slowly but that did not work very well - the steam had faded away and it was too cold to not get dressed quickly. She picked out some grey sweatpants, an old cozy t-shirt with a pig on it, and a black hoodie. 4:11 pm No new messages That was only three minutes?! Damn it.
Effy arrived in good time with a small bag in her hand. "You look great." She amusedly raised an eyebrow in Naomi's direction.
"Fuck off. I'm comfy."
"Does comfy Naomi want some food?" Effy lightly waved the bag in front of Naomi and then placed it on the kitchen table.
"I repeat, fuck off."
"Not even a thank you?"
"Do I have to repeat myself a third time?" Why does everyone like pissing me off so much?
"So I take it Emily hasn't texted you back yet."
Bloody hell, do you always have to be so intuitive?! Naomi responded by glaring obviously at her message-less mobile, sitting down at the table, and opening the bag. "Thanks," she mumbled as she pulled out a salad and sandwich. "You know, you could pretend like there isn't some deeper reason to why I'm angry every fucking time I'm angry." She aggressively forked her salad and bit into her sandwich - ever so graceful. I don't give a fuck.
Effy just shrugged and left Naomi to eat alone. The weather was nice enough to sit on the porch peacefully as the birds chirped. She was so deep in thought and spaced out that she did not notice when Naomi joined her. Only the smoke from the blonde's newly lit fag caught her attention, enticing her to light one of her own. "I hate girls," Naomi said as she exhaled.
"No - you hate waiting."
"What's the difference if it's a girl I'm waiting for?"
Effy smirked. "It's not just any girl you're waiting for, is it?"
"What do you mean?" Denial.
"You have never been this high strung over me not sending you a prompt response."
"Jealous?" Deflect.
"No." Effy's tone was brutally honest but Naomi took no offence.
"Well, you don't count." Naomi was equally honest - Effy was not offended either. Blunt honesty was the foundation of their friendship.
It started nine years ago, when they were eleven. Naomi had moved into a new home with only her mother, during the summer. They had been living there for only two months before the numerous strangers started coming and going. Her mother, Gina, was a big hippie that insisted there was some greater reward in making their home communal. Little Naomi had argued the ONLY reward in having all the extra mouths to feed was the decrease in time that it took to get to the special prize at the bottom of the cereal box. But even that seemed to be a problem when some bearded dumbass they called Jesus poured milk over a miniature toy robot and ate it. "I thought it was some sort of candy... at least it didn't taste too bad," he had said. That is when Naomi decided she was practically being forced to rudely shove her hand into the brand new cereal boxes and take the promised inedible surprises out. Naomi was immune to the women in her house that bickered about patriarchal bananas when they were not lecturing Naomi about feminism and manners.
One morning the blonde little girl woke up to a dirty sock that was not her own somehow in her mouth. That was the first time she yelled at her mum for their communal lifestyle choice. Upset by the gentle tone her mother used to try and calm her down, Naomi grabbed her trinket collection, placed in an old shoebox, and stormed out. She went to the nearby park and opened the box, looking at all the things that belonged to her - things she did not have to share with the annoying people she was forced to live with. She felt calmer by herself, inside the plastic playground bubble protecting her from the rain, with little circular windows.
Another girl climbed inside and sat across from her. "These are mine. Don't touch them." Naomi pulled the box to herself protectively. She remained skeptical even when the skinny girl said, "I don't want to touch them." Naomi resumed counting her trinkets, every so often looking up at the girl who was silently watching her. "Aren't you bored?" Naomi asked. "No." The girl shrugged to further convey her indifference. Something about being sheltered from the rain together made Naomi decide to lower some personal barriers. "My name is Naomi." "I'm Effy." "I hate that my mum lets strangers live in our house." "I think my mum is having an affair." Silence followed with a feeling of mutual acceptance. Their minimally vocal time in the bubble became an almost nightly thing for the rest of the summer - each of them escaping the world for different reasons. When school started and the playground became more popular, together they intimidated and scared away any new kid that tried to invade their territory. "Go away," Naomi would firmly say as Effy coldly stared them down. They each smirked triumphantly, happy they had control over at least one thing in their lives.
They finished smoking in their habitual silence. Naomi put out her fag a little early, eager to check her phone again. They stepped back inside and plopped onto her brown pleather couch. The blonde checked her phone from where she had left it on a cushion. 4:34 pm No new messages Ughhhhhhhhh. Naomi was slightly startled when Effy abruptly got off the couch and walked into her kitchen. She waited curiously until Effy returned with an empty cookie jar. Effy lifted the top, held out the bottom to Naomi, and waited expectantly. Naomi checked her phone one last time before surrendering it into the jar.
"You're only making yourself crazy. Emily will text you when she's not busy." Effy put the jar on the small corner table next to the couch and covered it with the top. "Get on with your day."
"Alright. I suppose that would be the better thing to do..." Naomi looked at the jar, willing it with her eyes to vibrate and alert her to a new message.
"I put it on silent. Give yourself a specific time to wait until - maybe tomorrow morning - before checking it again."
"Ughhhhh, but that's so long. How about eight?"
Effy did not answer - just folded her arms.
"Okaaay, fine! Nine pm."
"Naomi, it's your phone. You decide when. I'm just trying to help."
"Fine. Fine. Fiiiiiiine."
"Well, seeing as you're all sorted now, I'm off to see Cook. Stay strong Naomi."
"What the fuck? After last night?" Naomi was baffled, insinuating that Cook's behavior had been unacceptable. Then again, Effy's shags supposedly did not depend on anything emotional.
"Why not?" Effy seemed careless. Over the years she had perfected her front. Naomi knew better than to keep asking questions - it was not as if Effy would answer them anyway.
"Alright. Bye, then." The front door closed behind Effy. Naomi debated what to do for a bit, tempted to check her phone. Maybe if I go out and leave my phone here... It had been a few days since she had gone out for a morning run. She decided that even though it was late in the day, it would be the perfect thing to do. She concentrated on her breathing and pacing as she ran through the forest behind her flat. Naomi knew the area well, having spent so much time exploring it several years ago, when she moved in. When she finished her run, she was dripping with sweat, filled with the happy gratification from intensely exercising. She wiped away the beads of sweat along her hairline with the back of her hand. Taking another shower should kill some time. The symptoms of her hangover had, for the most part, subsided.
To distract herself from thinking about her phone while she showered she made a mental list of things to do. However, the first thing Naomi did after getting dressed in a fresh pair of clothes was check her phone, even though it definitely was not nine yet. There was a surprise note in the jar; in Effy's handwriting it said: "pathetic."Effy knew very well that Naomi struggled with self-control. Naomi disregarded the note and checked anyway.6:22 pm No new messages Fucking hell. Not wanting to completely lose the good mood that had developed during her run, she chose to no longer cheat - to wait until nine to check it like she had planned with Effy.
Naomi remembered the mental to-do list she had made in the shower and started with her first task: finish the SlutWalk article that she had started in the coffee shop on Friday. She closed the jar and turned on her stereo to some indie music. Her notebook and pencils were in her backpack on a hook beside the entrance. She grabbed them and sat at the kitchen table. The music helped her switch into work-mode. Naomi had difficulty writing for a while because she kept glancing up at the clock but once she turned her chair to face away from it, the article began to practically write itself. Journalism came naturally to Naomi. When she finished the article, she got her laptop, typed it up, and submitted it to the editor.
The math exam was not for another two days - Wednesday morning - so she put off studying. Instead, she turned off her music, moved to the couch, and turned on the TV for some mindless watching. It took her flipping three times through the hundred basic channels for her to settle on the Game Show Network. The host of the show was introducing the two families playing Family Feud. Naomi particularly enjoyed giving her own answers to the questions as if she were a contestant anytime she watched the show.
"Name something that gets passed around?" the host asked into his mic.
The first player shouted,"Uhhh... a ball!"
"Herpes!" Naomi answered, taking pride in her ability to make herself laugh.
"What is something you put in your mouth but don't swallow?"
"Oh my fucking god. Now that's just beautiful." Naomi cringed at the thought of a blowjob.
"GUM!" Oh, so innocent. It was quite obvious that several of the other contestants stifling their laughter were thinking the same dirty thing as Naomi.
"Sarah, tell me, when people mention The Big One, what are they talking about?"
"Is everything on this show about dicks?" Naomi wondered out loud.
"God?"
The show had eliminated one team and was up to the speed round. "We asked one hundred men, to name a part of their body that is bigger than it was when they were sixteen?"
"WHO WRITES THESE QUESTIONS?!"
"A penis?"
"OH MY GOD, SHE SAID IT! SHE FUCKING SAID IT! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Naomi started laughing hysterically until she realized how depressing it would be if her happiest-day-ever statement were true.
When the Family Feud marathon ended she checked the time on the cable box clock, 8:28 pm. Shit, how many episodes have I watched? Uninterested in the next show starting, Naomi turned off the TV. She then turned her music back on and cleaned up the loft. Naomi was desperate to busy herself with something. Looking around, she zoned in on her extensive DVD collection and ended up organizing them alphabetically. For a while her floor was littered with boxes and discs that had fallen out of their cases. She had been so consumed with organizing while dramatically singing the music, occasionally throwing in dance moves, that she had not noticed when the clock struck past nine. She laid on her once-again empty floor when she finished and closed her eyes. It had been a long day - probably because she spent most of it watching the time - or trying not to.
Naomi opened her eyes and immediately turned to face the clock. 11:13 pm Oops, must've fallen asleep. The soft indie music was still playing in the background.She sat up, regretting ever having lain down. Her back felt rather sore. When she managed to stand, she walked over to the jar on the table. Slightly nervous she lifted the top and pulled out her phone. Four new messages FUCK YEAH!
Effy: 9:08pm: did she txt u?
Effy: 10:10pm: since u havent txted me, i take it she hasnt...
Effy: 10:12pm: srry babes
Effy: 10:13pm: uve still got me ;)
Naomi's smile transformed into an upset frown. She checked her text inbox again, hoping her phone had glitched and that Emily had actually responded. Fuck. With no response there she threw her phone angrily at the couch and turned out the lights. As she climbed into bed to sleep she fought her sad thoughts with angry ones. WHY DO I EVEN CARE? It's not like she was my friend anyway. Nothing gained, nothing lost, right? I'm just going to stop caring. The disappointment is not worth it. Naomi kept flashing back to the good moments she had with Emily and evaluating whether they had actually been genuine. Well, she didn't me text back, so I suppose not. She pulled the covers over her head as if to silence her thoughts and waited for sleep to overtake her. Angry feelings had faded and morphed into a sad feeling unique to Naomi just before she finally fell asleep.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Emily left Freddie for work after their cuddling session. Going to work did not bother her because she figured it would take her mind off the recent troublesome social events. So far there was Naomi, Katie, and Freddie to deal with. At least, after their talk, Emily no longer had to worry about making up with Freddie. Either way, she planned on buying him a fancy lighter she saw at a nearby corner shop as an apologetic present.
Wanderer's Teashop was a special place, generally occupied with a crowd labeled as hipster. Despite the occasionally negative connotation of being a hipster, Emily liked the people there because they seemed laid back and frequently introduced her to cool music. Her co-workers were also pretty awesome. The job included cooking specialty crepes, making salads, brewing tea, and working the cash register with an eclectic girl named Pandora Moon. Everyone called her "Panda." The nickname suited her because she was every bit as cute as a real panda.
Panda initially came off childish, with her blonde pigtails and her use of made-up words, as well as her naivety. One would think such a personality would be annoying but Panda somehow pulled it off as endearing.
Emily parked her moped in back and slipped on her blue apron; the advantage to being such a laid-back place was that no real uniform existed. The owner of the shop, Jeremy, was a university alumnus who only ever wore Hawaiian shirts, cutoff jeans, and flip-flops. Jeremy waved to Emily from his office. He was leaning with his feet propped up on his desk, probably procrastinating paper work. "Hey Emily, Panda's already up front. Have fun today!" Emily smiled and shook her head at how odd and lucky it was that she had such an upbeat boss. Many wondered how the shop was still running without anyone so serious in charge. Fortunately, everything business-related smoothly fell into place at the right times.
"Hey Panda!"
Pigtails swished around as Panda turned her head to see Emily. "HAPPY SUNDAY EMILY!" Bubbly as ever, Panda excitably continued, "I've got a feelin' today's goin' to be the top banana!"
"The top banana, ey?" Never heard of that one.
"Yeah, Em! The cat's pajamas! A chicken on a worm! The snail's tails! "
"That's great, Panda. But I think you better pay attention to the pan or it's going to be all fire and no crepe." Emily chuckled. Panda's happy attitude was positively influential on the work environment.
"Righto! That's probably best." Panda turned back around and flipped the crepe. The delicious smell of it combined with various herbal teas circulated the shop. She covered the crepe in strawberries, whipped cream, and maple syrup. "One fantasti-magical crepe ready!" Panda shouted as she delivered the warm plate to a customer. "Here ya go, Joe!"
A wide smile spread across Joe's face. "Thanks, Panda! Mmm, this looks delicious!"
"Bon appetit!" Panda said as she returned back to the counter.
Emily and Panda had worked there for two years so far and had memorized the names of all their regular customers. The two girls also had a game of giving secret names and making up stories about everyone to entertain themselves on the longer days. Panda, of course, insisted that the new names rhyme. So there was Paige the Mage who always had big books that they decided were full of spells. They imagined that she came from the land of "Gardenia," where she was teaming up with good unicorns to fight off evil talking vegetables - the backstories were most often mythical or whimsical.
There was Sam-ster the Bubblegum Master, a fellow that usually showed up in an orange top hat and bowtie, unintentionally resembling the original Willy Wonka. He supposedly owned a factory filled with dwarfs that made rainbow gum capable of curing cancer. Sometimes Panda would give him some complimentary pastries as if he legitimately had honorably cured cancer.
A significant portion of their days was spent coming up with stories, even for the people who were first-timers.
Jeremy popped his head out into the employee's only hallway. "Hey Emily, Can you take care of the restocking? David called in sick today and I have a meeting at the bank in a few. The delivery should be here any minute."
"Not a problem, boss." Emily threw away the paper towel she used to wipe the counters. The shop was usually not so crowded during the afternoon, so it was fine for her to leave Panda alone at the front. When they started the job they were trained in all areas of the business so she knew exactly how to manage the restock. She walked through the hallway to the back door - the quickest pathway to the back car lot. Several months ago she would have occupied the waiting time by smoking. She had only started smoking four years ago to relieve some of her stress until one of her thoughtful coworkers had introduced her to a kickboxing class at the local gym. Emily much preferred the sport to the expensive addiction. She had already developed great strength and stamina because her dad owned a gym and insisted on raising daughters that could protect themselves. The consequences of smoking interfered with her workouts more than she would have liked. So instead of smoking, Emily leaned against the outside wall of the shop and counted cars.
Twenty-two cars later, a white van pulled up. Emily did not recognize the driver from any of the past deliveries she had helped with. An African man stepped out of the van with one of the brightest smiles Emily had ever seen. His smile switched into a look of confusion when his eyes met Emily's. "Excuse me," wow, he's got quite the French accent, "do you work at" he checked some papers from his dashboard then looked back up, "Wanderer's Teashop?"
Emily smiled and stood up from the wall. "Yeah."
"Great! I will bring to you the boxes." He smiled sheepishly and added, "Forgive my English, it is not so good."
"You're doing fine," Emily chuckled lightly.
The driver opened the back of the van and started stacking cardboard boxes on the ground. Emily was slightly concerned about this new guy, wondering if he knew what he was doing, taking so many boxes out at once. Just before he lifted a stack of six heavy boxes, he looked up at Emily's face. "Do not worry, in my village I had to carry too-fat sheep from the fields to our table. This is nothing." Sure enough, he lifted all the boxes without so much as a grunt.
Wow... Emily ran to open the door for him. "You can just set them over there." She pointed to the storage room with the light on. He placed them carefully on the floor. "Thanks."
"You are welcome. I will get the other boxes." He gestured to the door as if to politely excuse himself. Emily returned to the cash register to help Panda, after propping the doors open for him. He took several more trips until the room looked half-full. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face - some of the boxes had been quite heavy. The driver shut the storage room door and walked to the front to let Emily know he was finished.
Just as he walked into the end of the hallway he bumped into Panda, "I am so sorry!" He held his hands out in case the girl needed something to hold to steady herself.
"Bloomin' 'eck! You're like, made out of rocks or something!" Panda's eyes opened widely in wonder at the form standing in front of her. She snapped out of her shock, unharmed yet surprised. "Uhh, my boss says customers aren't supposed to be back here."
Emily surprised them, without noticing that they had just been staring at each other for a moment. "Panda, this is the new delivery guy." The guy smiled sweetly and held out his hand.
"My name is Thomas Tomone. So glad to meet you. And I'm sorry again, for bumping into you. Are you okay?" He looked about the same age as them.
You're so polite. "I'm abso-freakin-lutely wonderful," she was completely charmed by him. "I'm single - I mean, I'm Pandora, but you can call me Panda."
"And I'm Emily." Emily finally caught on to what was going on and grew excited at the thought of pushing them together. "So, Thomas! How long have you been in Bristol?"
He looked away from Panda for a moment to answer Emily. "Not so long. I came here from Congo to work. My mother plans to come soon with my little siblings."
"Wow, that's so cool. My Mum's from some boring town - I don't even remember it's name - I think it rhymes with alligator - but we always have to go back there to visit my Nan anyway. My Nan is crazy rich though. And she always feeds us tea and scones. She's a bit na-na-wally-wallah-goo-goo in the head, I think. You should come though! You would probably love it! Everyone loves my Nan. Not that I know you - but I would like to." Panda was practically drooling on him - Emily withheld a laugh.
"That would be most satisfactory." He sounded sincere.
Emily could not believe, or rather, she could and just did not want to, that Panda just invited a stranger to visit her family. Emily quickly thought of how to make the situation more practical. "How about we all hang out sometime? Get to know each other first?"
"Yes, I agree." Thomas pulled out a card from one of the many pockets he had - he was wearing several windbreakers and hoodies - probably not used to the weather in Bristol yet. "I work at night too, at a club. You ladies should come. You won't have to wait in line. Bring friends."
Before Panda could say something, Emily took the card and replied, "Sounds like fun. We'll see if we can make it." She left the two of them alone for a moment, now that she had sealed the deal.
"Great." He looked at his watch. "I must be going to deliver more of these boxes. I hope to see you again, Panda."
"I hope to see you again soon, Thomas!" Panda called out as he started to leave. As soon as the back door shut, everyone in the room started clapping. Panda turned to Emily confused, "What are they clappin' at, Ems?" That was the funny thing about the shop - since they had become so close to the customers and gotten to know them personally, when the customers witnessed something personal happen to them, they reacted. Emily was used to it - every now and then getting a secret thumbs up from a regular when a new cute girl was flirting with her at the register.
"You and Thomas." Emily gave her an approving look.
"Well he's abso-flippin-lutely gorgeoussss," she sighed with hope. But then her eyebrows furrowed in sadness, "Do you think he's just trying to get into my box?"
"No Panda, he was too polite for that. Let's just take it one day at a time."
"Can we go to the club and see him? I wonder if he's a DJ. Or maybe he's the bouncer. Or maybe he dresses in lady clothes and dances like that one ti-"
"Yes, we can go, Panda. And I don't think he'll be sporting a dress." Emily chuckled.
"Oh Emily, he's so beautiful - I bet he could still look dreamy in a dress."
For the next couple hours, work went the same as normal - cleaning and cooking throughout. Every now and then Panda would say something about Thomas; "His name sounds magical and we did not even have to make a story about him. Thomas; Tomone; Tommy; Tom-o; Tom-tom; Tomoneeee; Tommmone." She definitely liked saying his name. "If we made a story about Thomas, I bet he would be a strong, handsome knight."
They both abruptly stopped with their busywork when a loud and obnoxious male entered the shop. "What's a man of incredible charm, like m'self-" he looked to the girl he had his arms draped over then back up to Emily and Panda,"-got to do to get some decent lager around here? Am I right, ladies?" The girl was practically drooling on him as if enchanted by some douchebag pheromone.
Author's Note: As per usual, I'm a little self-conscious whether or not this was actually funny to anyone but myself so let me know what you think - favorite moments? Jokes? Characters? Descriptions? I appreciate it. Have a lovely day!