The Doctor braced one red trainer against the controls as he struggled to regain control of the TARDIS. "Where are you taking us?" he muttered to his ship. He glanced over at Harry and Ron, who were struggling to stay upright, and Hermione, who was holding onto the railing and staring openmouthed at the TARDIS mechanisms with a look of absolute wonder on her face. In spite of his frustration, he grinned. They were just like they were described in the books. How wonderfully improbable.

The TARDIS slammed into solid ground. Everyone but the Doctor fell over. He stood lost in thought for a moment, pondering what in the name of sanity was happening. Meeting fictional heroes, the TARDIS deciding to act like a rebellious teenage human girl, and the unknown right outside his door...Speaking of which.

"Right then! Off we go!" he said excitedly. He grabbed his brown duster from off one of the coral formations. "What're you all doing on the ground?"

"Putting my teeth back in," moaned Ron. "For an intergalatic space bloke, you have very uncomfortable means of travelling."

"Oh, boo-hoo! There's a great big beautiful tomorrow right outside, and you're napping! I thought gingers would have a bit more pep. Maybe they're not all it's cracked up to be."

Ron chose to ignore this. Harry got up and felt for bruises, then checked that his friends were alive. "Let's check it out," Harry said. Although he seemed remarkably calm considering the situation, the Doctor could see the gleam of excitement bubbling inside of him.

"Ah, there's the boy that found the Philosopher's Stone! Allons-y!"

They were greeted by an astonishing sight.

Hundreds of people were gathered in a room that looked like a battlefield. The high-vaulted ceiling frowned down at the wreckage of a golden statue, and water was splashed all over the midnight black floor. Cameras flashed everywhere. People were sobbing, shouting, staring blank eyed into the distance. They looked like people already defeated in battle before the battle has begun.

But they seemed mostly gathered around a central point. In the middle of a circle stood a small, portly, heavily sweating man. "I don't know!" the Doctor heard him shout in frustration. "Blast it, I don't know! Yes, I suppose He's back, you saw him same as I did – "

"Fudge," murmured Ron. "That's Fudge. We're at the Ministry of Magic.

" 'He's back,' " Hermione repeated. "We've gone back in time..."

"To the night Sirius was killed," Harry finished up dully. He looked markedly less excited now. "To the night everyone saw Voldemort return."

Hermione turned to the Doctor. "The TARDIS brought us here for a reason, correct?" He nodded. "Well, let's investigate. Harry, you'll be easily recognized, we have to figure out how to disguise you. Take your glasses off." He drew back.

"No," he said firmly.

Hermione looked confused. "Why not?"

"No," he repeated more firmly. Hermione looked about to press the issue.

"Never mind," the Doctor interrupted. He thought he knew why Harry was reluctant to take off his glasses. "Let's just keep our heads down – "

"Hang on..." Ron rummaged around in his pockets. "I've got just the thing. Eat this." He proffered a skinny strip of chewing gun to Harry.

"No thanks, I don't fancy spearmint," Harry said in confusion.

"No, it's a Mint Mixer. George just developed it, it changes your appearance," Ron said. "I've been helping out in the shop. He gives me the extra merchandise." Harry popped it in his mouth. Within moments, a skinny, ancient man stood before them.

"Ha duh ai luh?" Harry tried.

"I think you lost your teeth, mate," Ron sniggered.

"Dih yuh no ih wuh do thah?"

"What's that?"

"Rah! Dih yuh no ih wuh do thah*?" Harry repeated.

Ron stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it around. "Didn't catch that, oldtimer." The Doctor could see Harry growing irritated.

He said hastily, "Let's investigate," and led the way. They tried to sneak around to an elevator, but were stopped by a security guard.

"Sorry, sir, I'm going to need identification."

"Ah, yes, of course. Wait just a millisecond – " He rummaged around in his coat. "Here we are!" He beamed and handed the man a blank sheet of paper.

The man nearly choked and his eyes widened. "Please, sir, go right ahead. My mistake."

"Oh, it's no problem...er...Crowley!" The Doctor checked his nametag. "Doing a bangup job, just remember not to let the Nargles bite and maybe check your fly." They left the guard struggling with his zipper and stepped into the elevator.

"Department of Mysteries, now that sounds promising," the Doctor murmured. "Hope it's not a misnomer, it only deserves that name if it contains a malfunctioning TARDIS or three mysterious wizards." He glanced at the Golden Trio, still marveling.

"Or a madman with a time-twisting blue box," Hermione said lightly. He chuckled.

"Hermione Granger, you and I are going to get along splendidly." He looked around at them. "We all are! A Time Lord and three bushytailed young magicians, what could go wrong?"

Just then a torturous scream echoed up into the elevator shaft.

*Translation: How do I look? Did you know it would do that? Ron, did you know it would do that?

Thanks for the reviews and follows! This was a bit of a connection chapter, but the real exciting bit's coming next chapter. Brace yourselves ;)

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