Shout out for review number 150 IRONM4NSWAG.

Thanks for your great support for this FF. I love it so much! Well here is the next chapter and like I said to 'just give me a reason' by P!nk. Enjoy and review please:)

Still own nothing.

Not broken just bent

They arrived at home and Pepper went directly to bed. It was only midday, but Tony realized that she may need some time to recover and sort things out. Hell, she just returned from weeks of captivity, torture and mental plus physical pain. And on top of the cherry pie she had a miscarriage. Tony admired her for being so strong; she had shared no tear since she was free and showed no signs of being broken.
But her response when he touched her and the lack of emotions on the miscarriage worried him.
Normally Pepper was open to him and said how she felt, she'd get lost in his eyes and would melt in his smell, but now she barely looked at him let alone spoke more than three words to him. All he get as an answer was 'I'm fine, don't worry. I'll be alright soon.'

So when she left and headed for their bedroom, shutting the door behind her he went to the workshop and did what he knew best: he tinkered. But still his mind wasn't focused on its task.
"J, show me Pepper, please."

The video-feed showed her in their bed, watching a movie. Tony couldn't help but wonder if she needed anything so he decided to look after her.

After five hours of thinking, Pepper heard the knock on her door and was split in her emotions. On the one hand she was happy that Tony came to look after her, to have him around, but although she just wanted to be alone. She knew now why she felt so guilty and the realization shocked and scared her.

Tony entered the room slowly. "Hey Pepper. Are you alright? You need to eat something."

"I'm fine. Yeah I am hungry. What do you think of ordering some Chinese food?" She asked with small smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Sure. You take what you always take?" He asked and she nodded. "Jarvis? Order our normal Chinese food, please." He sat carefully down next to her and looked at her. "So what do we watch?"

Her eyes never left the screen, but she smiled. "Kiss and kill, with Kathrine Heigl and Ashton Kutsher. I don't like him but I do love her."

"Okay, sounds good to me."

As their food arrived they ate in silence and half way through the fifth movie they watched, Tony fell asleep.
The end credits rolled over the screen and Pepper turned it off. The room was only illuminated by his RT and she looked at him. She felt guilty that she couldn't tell him what was wrong with her, but it scared her what she thought, so how would he react?
And still the man who lay beside her was the best that ever happened to her. From the first day on he had her heart. They had seen each other in their worst times and as he had saved her she'd felt like she was fixed again. Pepper was never sure of herself but with every graze, kiss and touch he fixed her doubts, bruises and parts of her she hated. She felt whole again.

He mumbled something in his sleep. "Pepper, no... Need to be save. Can't do this anymore. Go away... No."
As she heard those words she was afraid. He had never said those things before and never, if he had said them in regard to her. Would he leave her because he can't handle her behavior at the moment?

Her walls were fully up now. If he intended to leave her he should do it now. If he couldn't handle their relationship anymore he should just tell her. Things couldn't get any worse. 'Tell me that you've had enough of our love.' She thought.

She didn't know when she started to cry. She just didn't know what to feel any more. She felt guilty for Chris' death, for not being able to satisfy him and offering him the live and love he requested and she felt guilty for feeling this way. Pepper knew it was wrong, but she couldn't open herself to Tony with those thoughts.

He woke by hearing her sobs and was wide awake. "Pepper what's up?" He tried to reach for her and hug her, but she jumped at his touch.

"I...I can't. No don't touch me. I'll go." She cried and ran out of their room into the nearest guest room and slammed the door shut, bursting into heavy tears. Her back slid along the door till her butt reached the ground and she hugged her knees to her chest.

Tony followed her and knocked softly at the door. "Pepper? I'm sorry, I don't understand... What's up? Why can't I touch you?"

"Go away." She sobbed. "Please leave me alone."

"Hey I thought we are alright again? I thought that we were fine. Talk to me." He bagged and mirrored her position on his side of the door.

"We had everything, Tony. My life lies in shards on the ground in front of me. I lost everything." The sobs shook her body.

He wanted to sooth her and take her in his arms. "My dear, that's not true. We still have everything. Don't worry, it's just in your mind."

"But Tony it happened. And I can't sleep. I have nightmares."

"I know how you feel. I feel the same. You do have nightmares? I can make it better, but then I need to see you. Would you open the door now and let me hold you?" He asked carefully and softly, desperately trying not to scare her further away. "We can wrap ourselves up in bed and just talk. What do you think?"

"I...I can't. I feel guilty for his dead and for his situation. It's my fault he turned into what he was. I was a monster over the last weeks."

Tony felt like a baseball bat had hit his skull. The air between them was cold and it felt like Pepper had took their love away and all what was left in their bedroom were empty sheets and memories of happier times together. He just didn't know what to do. Tony had heard about some symptoms that victims might show after captivity which were like Pepper's. The victim feels guilt for the captor and for leaving him and it sometimes even fall in love with him. Maybe she just processed the last weeks for the best, but worst case she had the Stockholm-syndrome. Tony prayed that Pepper didn't suffer the last.

"Tony? Am I crazy? Will get okay again? I am so sorry." She whispered.

"Don't apologize Pepper. None of this is your fault." He said back, cheek pressed against the wood of the door.

"I don't want to feel this way and I don't want you to feel bad because of me. I feel rusty and old." The voice she spoke with was faint and sounded broken.

"Pepper I'll fix it. We will fix it for us." He said to sooth her.

He managed to reassure her a bit, but another thought came in her mind. "Do you think we'll get through this? Is our love really enough? Tony this is so complicated. What if you can't handle me, my behavior? I'm afraid of losing you, but I can't blame you for anything. But otherwise I know how you were before Afghanistan and what if you start to drink again and…"

"Pepper, it's not as bad as it seems. You will recover and I will be always by your side. Don't doubt anymore, pretty please." The door clicked and Tony heard Pepper shuffle away from it. He pushed it open and went inside.

Pepper sat on the foot of the bed and silent tears ran down her cheek. "I want to believe you. But I need a purpose and a proof to know you're right. I need a reason to move on, a little bit is already enough. I feel so fragile and guilty that I hurt you and that I hadn't trust you. Please show me that I am not broken. I know I love you, but I can't show it. It's like I need to re-learn to love you."

Tony reached for her and slowly touched her shoulder. Her body didn't respond and she accepted the touch without hesitation. By acknowledging this he took her in his arms and she cried her heart out into his shoulder. "Pepper. Virginia, here's your proof. You don't back away anymore. We both have scars on our bodies, soul and hearts and only the stars know what the future brings, but we're not broken. Yes we are bent, but we'll figure this out and we will learn to love again. You will learn to love again, because I've never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you. You're all I have, remember?"

She managed a smile and looked at him. "Yes, we're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again." She leaned in and kissed him carefully on his lips, it was tender, soft and slow.

As he pulled back he saw that the twinkle in her eyes returned slowly, but he noticed that she looked tired as hell. "We should sleep a bit. Just lay down, I'll be downstairs."

She nodded and lay back against the cushions. Tony stood and moved to the door.

"Tony? Can you stay? I want you by my side." She looked like a ten-year old asking for her favorite cookie and patted the spot beside her.

"Sure." He smiled at her and climbed next to her under the sheets. "This bed is smaller than ours." He chuckled as Pepper rested her head on his chest.

"Oh shut up Tony."

"Pepper?" He asked his voice serious.

Her eyes was closed, but she answered. "Yes, Tony?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Do you still want to marry me? I still have your ring."

She finally looked up at him and smiled. "I'd love to."

He slipped the ring on her finger and kissed the crown of her head and closed his eyes. He whispered. "I love you."

And just before Pepper went to the land of dreams and bliss: "Not broken just bent."

Phew, I hope you liked it. Pepperony again? So shall I continue? Leave a review, please.

Xoxox PP-S