Old World Blues: Chapter 3:
Presently the court of the Candy Kingdom was dismissed of its soldiers as Princess Bublegum gradually started to believe the stranger's good intentions. And those of his pot-plant.
The Pink princess had suggested they carry out the rest of Solomon's briefing in a small restaurant on the south side of town, to help show the public the threat the gentleman posed had been taken care of.
"Awwww Snap son! We gonna 'Sprinkles'" yelled Finn excitedly.
"That's so fly! You know the hot chocolate Speedy makes is sooo thick, you'd swear it was liquid muffin!"
Finn did not have to repeat himself. The reputation of 'Sprinkles' was sufficient enough to ease all their worries for the time being.
Together, the royal escort approached a squat building with interlocking candy canes propping up a roof of impressive gingerbread.
It had been created with royal funding after all.
Finn was first to push through the twin doors of raspberry swirls and approached a golden booth reserved for the princess.
"I hope you don't mind, Solomon of Aries." Whispered Princess Bubblegum as Finn and Jake were let in past the dividing rope to bounce on the plush seating.
"I need to be seen taking care of matters regarding your entrance, and considering the gravity of the mission you're about to propose, a treat will do us all good."
"Understood." Confirmed Solomon gruffly, filing in opposite Jake and sitting down to look at the menu.
A mint cookie candy person walked up in an orange bow tie clutching at a small black notepad.
"Princess, and esteemed guests…" announced the waiter.
"Sprinkles is so glad to see you back so soon. What will the royal tongue and it's counterparts taste today?"
Finn and Jake suddenly started to wrestle one another in a bid to but their hands up first and procure one of the fabled hot chocolates.
Despite Jake's attempts at morphing into a straightjacket, Finn had squeezed his hand up and yelled out his order.
"ONESUPERMALLOW-CHOCWITH STRAWBERRYFOAMPLEASETHANKYOU!"
"DITTO!" cried Jake soon after, and the two collapsed into a giggling heap.
"I'll have a peppermint tea, and a raspberry toffee cake to split between us." cooed Bubblegum, not forgetting her regal charms.
The cookie-waiter smiled graciously then turned to the battle-hardened man in the ragged baseball cap.
"Errr" he began, unsurely, shocked by the countenance of the stranger.
"And for you?"
Solomon bent low over the table, doing his best not to seem intimidating. He failed of course and the mint cookie was spun into a mild panic at the stranger's demands.
"You will secure the finest fertilizer for my guide, Tim flower of grass tuft, then you shall bring me a mixture of honey and sugar, crafted in equal measure and finely dusted with the shavings of an Astral plane beetle."
The waiter simply shook in his boots, frantically attempting to scribble down each detail of the warrior's curious order.
Bubblegum interjected.
"Sprinkles doesn't serve that kind of pallet Mr Solomon. The material plane is much different to your own in terms of culinary ingredients don't forget."
It was now Tim's turn to speak.
His flowerpot had been placed on the tabletop and was content with admiring the view, if not for the prospect of a delicious snack.
"What he means is he'd like of molasses. Though you'll have to forego the beetle Mr S."
The daisy and the warrior nodded to one another in mutual understanding.
"Acceptable losses." Confirmed Solomon, straightening his armor.
"Please, proceed with the order."
The waiter was glad to get away, and ran back to the kitchen.
"So what's the happs man" yelled Finn excitedly.
"What's this uber-dangerous mission to save all of Ooo. C'mon don't leave me hanging!"
"Yeah what Finn says, like, does it pay good? It's not illegal is it?"
Jake attempted to scrutinize Solomon's motives but fell short of acquiring anything from his bandaged poker face.
There was, however, a more pressing matter that needed taking care of.
"A moment!" Solomon boomed, reaching into the pocket of his grey coat.
He put that moment to good use, retracting a small television aerial with a square crystal of quartz wired up to its base.
"First I must calculate your experience levels. If they are too low, I shall have to decline you immediately."
Without another word, Solomon pointed the aerial at Jake and pressed a bandaged thumb to the square crystal. A small whirring sound was heard as, alarmed, Jake took the form of a knight's shield, wary of any harm the device could pose.
"HEY! No one said ANYTHING about a doo-dad!" Jake complained.
"If you're trying to steal my funky powers then my buddy Finn will cream you up royal!"
"Royally royal!" Finn confirmed, raising two fists at Solomon and making mock jabs under his chin.
This threat of violence soon proved un-necessary as the aerial ceased bleeping and Solomon pulled his cap low over his eyes so he could examine the result on the quartz surface.
"Interesting." He concluded, much to the Princess' scientific curiosity at such a machine.
"Species: Dog. Level Seven Rogue Class with infused shape-shifting properties. Current X.P level, '77'. A good start."
He moved the aerial over to Finn, who, understanding the purpose of the device, threw away his menu and puffed out his chest, hands on hips.
"AAwww I get it! It measures how awesome we are!"
Finn pressed his face up close to Solomon, a wry smile wrinkling his boyish features.
"Do it man! Check out DEEZE MAD SKILLZ!"
In compliance, Solomon tapped the display, pointing the aerial between Finn's eyes.
Finn could only shake his hands in abject excitement.
In a few seconds the results had been tallied, leaving Solomon to study the screen with all the focus of a laser pointer.
"Incredible…" Solomon announced, a twinge of awe in his normally monotone voice.
"Species: Human. *Genetic strain: Pure. *Radioactivity variants: Zero.
*Pathogen contamination: Zero. *All round damage to cellular configuration. Zero!"
Solomon looked disbelievingly at the boy in front of him.
"Humanities legacy lives on in you Finn the Human. I shall have to update the archives on my return to the Twin Paradises.
But Finn merely dismissed what deep down in his heart, he already knew to be true.
"Yeah, yeah give me a number-crunch man! Add THAT to your library or whatevs. SEE MY POWER…power…power…power…"
Finn cupped his hands to echo himself a fashion that bordered theatrical.
This continued until Princess Bubblegum gave him a gentle slap across his head.
Solomon looked down at the display and read the figures aloud.
"Level Five Fighter Class: No latent magical abilities. Current X.P level. '59'. An average score."
"THAT'S ALL!" yelled Finn, spitting out his hot chocolate into Tim's flowerpot and banging his fists on the table. Several of the eating candy families turned their heads in alarm.
"C'MON MAN! I'm way stronger that a '59!" Jake got over seventy!"
"It is as the scanner indicates." Announced Solomon, un-phased, sipping at his molasses.
"I got a '3'" said Tim beaming up a Princess Bubblegum.
"I'm pretty pleased with that, I'm no pansy after all. I'm a daisy."
"Any…way…" Bubblegum hesitated, weirded out by the direction the conversation had taken.
"Solomon, my warriors…er…Finn and Jake will hear your proposal now. They've fought the lich on two separate occasions and lived to tell about it and I know that they can handle any quest you have in mind."
"Indeed." Solomon confirmed, erecting himself to full height so that his tarnished plate-mail jutted like the bow of a ship.
"There exists a creature…" he began, waving his crooked hand across the table.
"A creature of such un-natural power and strength that it has wiped whole dimensional planes out of existence. It eats to sustain itself, and it sustains itself by eating whole worlds at a time."
Finn gaped at the concept open mouthed. Jake extended a noodily arm to gently push his jaw back in place.
Solomon continued, his hardened eyes portraying the full terror of his knowledge.
"In the past I sought to imprison this creature in pocket universes where it could do no damage, trap it so that I could put off the fight for another day. But I was foolish. It's hunger is insatiable, and it has recently learnt to break down the barriers between the planes. I have full reason to believe that it will appear in about a week to devour the material plane…for yours is the most vibrant of them all."
"But…you got a plan right?" said Jake, raising an eyebrow to the height of the ceiling.
"I'm not going to get iced just to prove a point to some demon."
Solomon nodded, aware of the companies' anxiety.
Setting down the aerial scanner Solomon produced a torn map from the larger of his coat pockets.
He laid it out by its moth-eaten, yellowing corners and pointed to a small ink blotted circle surrounded by archaic runes. Finn recognised the area as being on a small island off the east coast of 'Ooo' and shuddered silently in his skin at the thought of crossing the ocean.
"This is a world basin." Explained Solomon.
"It is a weak point separating two worlds, and out of all of the material plane, this is the only basin large enough for this…"
The warrior paused, unsurely.
"For the Obyrith Lord Dagon to pass through."
A sharp gasp was heard across the table, and Princess Bubblegum clapped her hands to her mouth.
"Princess?" Said Finn worried. "I swear we won't let him touch this place, whoever he is! You heard what the 'S' man said, we gonna gang up of this guy."
But Princess Bubblegum soon composed herself, shaking her head all the while. There was a trace of
"No…you won't Finn. Dagon was supposed to be a legend, spawned from the 89th layer of the abyss. The fact that he's coming now could spell the end times. There's a chance that not even you could…"
But Jake raised a stretchy finger for shush, because every single candy family in 'Sprinkles' had stopped eating and had turned to the royal booth to see if they could discern what was being said. They had been moments from starting a panic.
Quietly. The mint-cookie waiter deposited their raspberry toffee cake and sped over to another table where a small lollipop wanted some crayons for the cross word on his menu.
"Which is why…" spoke Solomon, hunching over so he could whisper into their ears.
"…we must be quick to recruit more members to our cause. Tell me Dog, what make you of this?!"
Solomon handed Jake the aerial scanner and pointed to a red looping pattern on it's crystal. It seemed to be sweeping across a mini-map of 'Ooo.'
"Errr…" said Jake, turning it over several times.
"Oh!...It says. *Ahem*:, Species: Vampire. Level Eight Undead Class.. Current X.P level, '97.'"?"
"Hey that's Marceline!" cried Finn, jumping across to Jake and peering over his shoulder.
"An ally of yours?" said Solomon. "This is most advantageous. We shall need all the help you can supply."
Princess Bubblegum leaned over.
"You missed one Jake. Species: Humanoid. Level Nine 'Blizzard Wizard' Class. X.P reads at '104'!"
"ICE KING!" grumbled Finn. "No way we letting him on our road trip! I don't care what the numbers say he'll stink up our ride. That is so NOT MATH!"
"Numbers are pretty much the definition of math Finn." Frowned Princess Bubblegum. She continued.
"I will grant him amnesty if he will agree to provide back up for you. Wizards are powerful after all."
"So we are agreed." Solomon boomed, standing up and motioning for the waiter. He produced a single platinum coin, tossing it onto the serving tray.
"Let us unite with your allies and rid us of this foe. Take courage Princess, for the troubles of this land are tackled by those few who owe it the most."
And with that the growing fellowship marched onward, eager to take the first steps toward what was going to be their most climactic battle yet.