AN: Thanks guys for your thoughts and comments, especially to JM, I'm sorry for breaking your Naomily heart. Thanks vixy844 for pre-reading and helping me whenever I need help and extra motivation.
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"And where do you think you have been?" Rob greeted Emily. She cursed under her breath and tried to walk past him.
"No, your sister is in hospital, you don't just take off, haven't we taught you anything?"
"You were there," Emily muttered, "What does it matter if I am too?"
Rob took a deep breath, a sad tone in his voice, "Because she asked after you when she woke up."
A slight laugh slipped from Emily's lips. The cocaine she'd taken was already wearing off, but she felt braver than she'd ever felt in front of her dad. They'd grown up with a level of fear, fear of talking back to him, fear of ending up in an argument. But for once, Emily didn't care.
"What is so funny?" he asked, a serious expression on his face.
"Katie doesn't need me, she's got you and mum fucking obsessed with smothering her."
"Don't you dare talk to me like that," her father snapped.
"I'll talk to you how the hell I like,"
"Not while you're still a child you won't, you show me some respect."
Emily just shook her head. She didn't want to waste her time talking, she just wanted to go upstairs and let the drug's effects flow through her brain. But Rob wasn't going to sit back and let her.
"Do you even care what is happening to your sister?" he asked, staring at Emily with concern.
"She never cares about me," Emily rolled her eyes.
"She has pneumonia Emily, something she got because she's got cancer, not a cold, not a little virus, she's got cancer, does that mean nothing to you?"
"Don't you fucking talk to me about that," Emily shouted, "The last three weeks nobody has even said the word cancer except when we found out, what makes it okay to talk about it now?"
She was angry. She was sick of her families reaction to Katie's illness and quite frankly, she was sick of Katie being ill. All it did was send her family into a weird state of not talking about the important things. She wondered if she'd have talked about Katie's illness if they'd given her the chance when it happened. But they'd started the silence, they'd chosen for them to deal with it all individually, instead of as a family. Now that her dad seemed to want to change that, Emily wasn't willing to join in.
*
Moving day number one hundred and six, or so it felt. Naomi carried a box of her possessions into Tony's car, finding a seat somewhere in between a small table that Gina didn't want to part with and the bed sheets she'd bought their first day in the hotel. She felt a strange attachment to Tony's house. He'd turned out to be a decent man who would have let them stay longer if he wasn't moving in with his girlfriend. He drove them through the streets of Bristol. Naomi watched as the okay neighbourhoods went by and some of the nicer ones too. She hoped Geoff's house would be nice, or at least good enough. She thought about her history lessons that week, the in-depth look at World War Two and the lives of children. It felt like she had been put on a train with people she only partially knew, being sent to a place where only strangers were and things may have been completely different.
"Here we are," Gina smiled, her lips curled so much that Naomi could see how fake she was being.
The house in front of them wasn't a house at all, it was a block of flats. Naomi didn't mind it so much, except that they were in one of the most infamous areas in Bristol. Whenever teenagers ended up stabbed or shot, they usually lived or their attacker lived on the Bronlow estate.
"No," Naomi muttered, before repeating it again louder. She Emily willing to live there, not now, not ever.
"I know it's not the best estate in Bristol, but Geoff promised me that it's not as bad as the papers make out."
It was a joke. It had to be a joke. Surely things couldn't get any worse? Naomi thought.
"I am not living there," she snapped, "See what you have done? This, this is all your fault."
"Now Naomi, that's not a very nice way to talk to your mum," Tony tried, but Naomi just shook her head and slid out of the car.
*
"Welcome to my humble abode!" a tall, lanky man with ginger hair and a beard greeted them. Naomi took one look at his dirty teeth and tatty clothes and grunted. She could feel her anger growing. This wasn't right. This wasn't what life was supposed to be like.
"Aren't you pretty?" Geoff stated, running a finger through her hair, "Your mum said you were a looker, she didn't tell me you were Naomi Campbell."
Gina let out a small laugh, Naomi just moaned, "Is that supposed to be some fucking joke?"
"Come on Naomi, be nice."
Geoff chuckled, "Oh I see what I did there."
"Where's my room?" Naomi asked, looking around the small living area.
"Second door," Geoff informed her.
She didn't thank him, or even look at him. She just picked up her box of belongings and carried it towards the room. She didn't want to be there, but at least she could find solace in a private room. Pushing the door open she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She looked around at the modest sized bedroom, it had a Futon which Naomi guessed she would have to share with her mum. She placed her box on the floor and lowered herself onto the sofa bed. Maybe it wasn't so bad. They were staying with another man she didn't know, in the worst estate in Bristol, but maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be that bad.
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The corridor was busy, students were moving around, quickly finding books or friends before the next lesson of the day. Naomi was late, having missed her first lesson to help her mum move. She didn't need anything from her locker, so she walked slowly towards her history class. Standing outside was Emily. They hadn't spent very much time together. Naomi wondered if it was her fault, avoiding Emily at all costs to avoid lying further. Or if it was Emily, who was busy caring about Katie. Seeing Emily brightened her day; a smile slid across her face and she would have kissed her passionately right there and then, had Emily not slid into the classroom next door before Naomi had a chance to get near enough. She followed her inside and took a seat beside her.
"Morning," she smiled, sliding a hand up Emily's thigh under the table.
"Oh, hi," Emily smiled back, her eyes looking dark and didn't complete the smile.
"What's wrong?"
Emily shook her head, "I'm fine, Katie's got pneumonia, but she's doing okay."
"Oh, well I hope she gets better really soon."
"Yeah," Emily nodded, turning to the teacher as he began the class.
The class felt like it lasted longer than the hour and a half it was scheduled for. Once they were finally let out, Naomi slid her hand into Emily's and they walked out of the college into the autumn day.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in a week," Naomi muttered.
"Sorry," Emily whispered.
"You've been busy, I understand, you're here now."
"You haven't been around much either,"
"I know."
"How are things? How's your mum and the house?"
They were simple questions that Naomi should have been able to answer easily. Instead, she found tears sliding down her cheeks. Even though she'd kept the truth about her living arrangements and financial troubles from Emily, she still felt like she could get upset in her presence.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked, stopping and sliding her arms around Naomi's waist.
"I'm fine," Naomi muttered, sniffling.
"You don't look so good Naomi, I know I haven't really been around, but I'm always here if you want to talk."
"I know," Naomi sighed, taking a deep breath, "I want to tell you."
Emily stayed silent giving her chance to talk, Naomi had to say something, she had to respond somehow.
"I just haven't been feeling very well recently, I guess it's just making me more tearful."
The two girls looked at each other, their eyes locked together. Naomi wanted to look away, her lies making her angry at herself. Emily looked back at her, there was a look of sadness in her eyes, but there was also a look of confusion and doubt. Naomi knew that Emily had expected more than she'd told her, but for some reason she didn't pull her up on it. The two shared a slight smile that Naomi could tell was more nervous than real and Emily pulled her into a hug and a kiss.
"Want to go somewhere?" Naomi asked, trying to change the subject as she slid her hands under Emily's shirt and began to play with her bra strap.
Emily bit her lip, "I have a free after lunch, I need to go see Katie."
"Oh," Naomi sighed, feeling more devastated than she thought she would.
"I'm sorry, we can reschedule?"
Naomi nodded. She'd looked to many different places for an escape to her problems and for the first time she'd thought about Emily. Sex between them was usually a special moment and the thought of using that moment to escape her worries made her feel happier than she had felt in weeks. But she hadn't expected Emily's knock down. She leant in and kissed her, letting her hands slide into the back of Emily's skirt.
"Are you sure?"
"Sorry, next time," Emily smiled, a more sincere smile as they parted ways.
*
Katie was asleep. The doctor told Emily that she needed her rest and that she could sit with her, but not to disturb her. It was a reasonable request, but it frustrated her. She pulled up a chair and took Katie's hand in her own, holding it comfortingly. She wondered if it was more comforting for the person holding it, than the person in the hospital bed.
"I'm sorry," Emily muttered, watching Katie's chest rise and fall, "I should have stayed."
No tears had fallen since Katie's diagnosis. Emily was feeling very sad, but still no tears built up. She wanted to cry, she wanted to shout and scream and sob until she felt better. But her eyes stayed dry.
"I'm scared Katie," she mumbled, "I don't want you to be this sick, I wish I could make you better, I wish there was a way for you to not have cancer anymore."
It was difficult to watch Katie sleep, her peaceful body resting happily. Emily wondered if Katie could hear her, in her state of unconsciousness. She didn't want to hide her feelings from her sister anymore, but the thought of telling her how she was feeling, what she was doing to herself, was just too much.
"If I could switch places with you right now, I would do," Emily sighed, "I just want you to be happy again."
Eventually Emily left. She kissed Katie gently on the forehead, apologising again. She felt sick, she wondered if it was an after effect of the cocaine. She didn't really want to do hard drugs, she didn't know why she'd asked Effy to help he get some. It made her feel uncomfortable, knowing that she was dicing with her life so carelessly. She'd wanted to live her life enough for Katie too, she hadn't expected to want to do class As. She felt angry at herself for letting it get so bad. She thought about Naomi, about the things going on in her life that she wouldn't share. Emily knew it was her own fault, she hadn't made herself open to Naomi. No wonder she wasn't talking much, Emily hadn't given her the chance.
*
The group went to a bar and even though Naomi had little money, she decided to go along too. She latched onto JJ, who very easily bought drinks if intimidated enough. It was a trick she'd learnt a few weeks ago. All she had to do was come onto him and he'd buy her anything she wanted.
"What's hot lesbian got on tonight?" Cook asked, slipping an arm around her shoulders and sitting a bit too close for comfort.
"Going home and making love to myself," Naomi answered, rolling her eyes at his obvious reaction.
"I heard you was working at McDonalds," he muttered, taking a long swig of his beer.
Naomi turned quickly, staring at him, fear in her eyes, "How…?"
"Don't look so worried, no one else knows and I won't tell your precious Emily."
"Thanks," Naomi whispered, feeling somewhat relieved.
"What's it like working at the heart attack centre of Bristol?"
Rolling her eyes, Naomi let a slight grin spread across her face, "I got fired."
"What you gonna do now?"
"I don't know, but I need something," Naomi admitted.
"Might be able to help you out with that, if you're nice to me," Cook informed her.
"I'm always nice to you Cookie," Naomi patting his arm with a hopeful grin.
By the time Naomi had left, Cook had hooked her up with a job at a market stall. It sounded like meagre work, but it was better than nothing. She wondered how it was so easy to share her worries with Cook, when it was so difficult to share them with Emily.
*
It was quiet in the flat when Naomi arrived home. She didn't want to turn the light on, through fear of waking anyone. But as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, the living area light came on and Geoff was sat there, with a stern look on his face.
"Where have you been?"
"Out," Naomi muttered, continuing to walk to the bathroom.
"Don't leave the room when I'm talking to you."
Frowning, Naomi turned around, "What?"
"Out isn't an answer."
"Out with friends," Naomi expanded, "Not that it's any of your business."
His lips stayed straight, an intimidating look on his face, "It is my business when you're under my roof."
"Jeez, you're not my dad," Naomi rolled her eyes.
There was silence. Geoff stood up and walked closer to her. She didn't leave the room, but stared at him in confusion.
"Do you want something else?"
"You know, you and your mum staying here for free isn't really a suitable arrangement."
"I've got a job, we can help out," she assured him.
"I wasn't really looking for money," he muttered, stepping closer.
He was tall; Naomi figured at least six foot one. He towered over her, despite her being taller than average. She wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, until his hand touched her shoulder and his other hand stroked her cheek.
"We can come to some other sort of arrangement," he smiled.
She slapped his hand away, stepping backwards, "Are you some kind of pervert? No way."
"Then I think my offer of a room isn't really open anymore, what do you think of that?"
"Are you threatening me into sleeping with you?" Naomi asked, angrily.
"I am simply asking for payment for a service, you either pay up or you'll be living on the street."
Naomi felt sick. The man in front of her was practically a stranger. She'd never heard her mum mention him and she doubted she knew him well. She couldn't believe what he was asking and she was angry at her mother for putting her in such a position.
"Then I guess we'll be living on the street then," she replied.
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AN: JM, I'm sorry again...I know this one won't have helped your breaking heart. Thanks for reading...feel free to review!