Mac had been the first to pull away, bringing up a hand to her lips.
Only when she had dropped eye contact with him, did she find her voice. "You better get that."
Mac had been aware of the time. She knew it was late, much too late for a casual phone call. Kim. It would have to be.
Harm had answered, his brows furrowing in concern not a minute later.
"I'm on my way."
The phone had closed with a click, and Harm had glanced over at Mac.
"Mac…I am sorry, I know the timing is terrible, but Kim has been taken to the hospital. I have to go."
Mac had nodded, "Go…"
The reminder of Kim's presence in Harm's life and the reason for it was something that had not been necessary. But, when the phone call had come, interrupting the one moment in which Mac had thrown all caution to the wind, it was as if she had been smacked in the face with the reality of it. Harm was having a baby. Harm created a child with this woman. Harm didn't want this. Harm wasn't happy. Her fault…all her fault.
Her head was spinning in the aftermath.
"I'll…call you later?" Harm had asked hopefully when he had reached the door.
Mac had nodded, a hand resting at her throat.
After the door had shut behind him, Mac crossed the room to lock it once more.
She had made some choices that night, as she had slid down the door. She couldn't be his reason. Mac could not keep him from focusing on the baby. Kim needed him. Mac hadn't been sure, but she got the impression that Harm was all Kim had to help her through this time.
All that aside, Mac had had some things of her own to work through. She had been having bouts of insomnia, and couldn't seem to muster up much of an appetite. She was constantly plagued with thoughts of self-doubt. Kim was already doing something for Harm that Mac didn't believe she would ever be able to do. I've never created anything. The words she had once said aloud to Cmdr. McCool replayed in her head, causing her pain.
Perhaps it had not been the correct way to handle it, but Mac was not above being wrong if it meant she could breathe again.
The need in her to go had been becoming stronger than the need in her to stay.
She had been toying with the idea of leaving. Trying it on for size in her mind to see if, even there, it would fit. She had wondered what Cresswell would say…she wondered what the Admiral would have said.
As it turned out, it was General Cresswell who had approached her that next morning. A position had become available in San Diego. He had felt like she would be a good fit, yet it was her decision. He had told her to let him know by the end of the week, but it had only taken her a few hours for her to make up her mind.
Harm had not yet been back at the office. Rumor had it he had taken a personal day. His name had been passed around JAG a lot during that time. Rumors about him…her. The baby. Everywhere Mac had turned, someone would have something to say about it. They had been calling Kim his girlfriend, and although Mac had known it was not true, it hadn't stopped her from taking a few more extra breaths than her normal pattern would allow.
Mac hadn't known what to say when they had tried to bring her into their conversations, asking her if she had heard the news. She had shrugged, diverted, and made it clear to them that it was none of her business—or theirs.
She had caught Cresswell right after her lunch break. She hadn't known why she had done it, but she had tried to reach Harm on his cell while at lunch. She had wanted to tell him…had wanted to know what he would say, had wanted to explain. For whatever reason, he had not answered.
She told Cresswell that she would do it. She had talked with him about it being a temporary placement. In the end, they had agreed that she would fill-in for now. However, she had been given the option to make it permanent should she so choose.
The following few days had been a whirlwind of sorts. She had decided to sublet her place should she decide that moving away had all been some crazy mistake. She had found a woman online, much like herself, in desperate need of a place due to a recent job transfer, so arrangements had been made for her to move in.
Everything was falling into place, and yet nothing was all at once.
She had packed up her life in boxes; they had been mailed to her new place in San Diego. All that had been left to go was her.
She had arrived at the airport early in order to get through security and get to her terminal on time, and had been left with a few moments to spare before boarding. Mac had sat down and stared out the window for a bit, her mind warring with her heart. The winner had been declared when Mac realized she was reaching into the front pocket of her carry-on and pulling her cell phone out.
She had clutched the phone with an uncertainty that surprised her. She hit the speed dial number and bit her bottom lip as she had waited.
She had been scared that he would ask her to stay, petrified that he wouldn't.
The ringing had continued, and Mac had gratefully prepared to leave a cryptic voicemail.
"Hello?" He had answered, somewhat distractedly.
Damn. Mac had thought to herself, as she cleared her throat. That cryptic voicemail was shot to hell.
TBC - Update coming soon…please review