AN: Thanks for your reviews...this chapter is the most heartbreaking I have ever written, don't let that put you off though, it's also one of the longest chapters I've ever written. I hope it gives you plenty to stick your teeth into.

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The dealer was relatively well dressed and smelled quite nice for someone Emily had always associated with homelessness. It was the second time she'd visited him. She remembered the last time she'd been desperate and how she promised herself she wouldn't end up there again. But she couldn't handle the thoughts that were running through her head.

"I, I need something," Emily stuttered, "Cocaine."

"Ain't got none, getting some tomorrow," the dealer muttered.

She could feel herself shaking. She isn't know if she was nervous, scared or even cold. But she had to take a deep breath to maintain a level of calm long enough.

"That's not good enough," Emily gasped, finding it difficult to breath, "I need something, I need it now."

"Got some H if you're interested," he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders, "For you I'll cut you a good deal,"

She wasn't even sure what he meant by H, whether it was heroin or something else. She didn't dare ask, instead she just nodded her head, accepting his offer like a child being given a second slice of cake. They made the exchange and Emily carried the drugs away.

"What are you doing?" she asked herself, her conscience finally bringing her back to reality, "You don't want to do this."

But she did. She needed something to take her mind off everything that was invading her head. It felt like a drill was driving around her brain, pushing through every space where she could find peace and interrupting it with plenty of noise. Her head was ready to explode. She found a public toilet near the bus station, where she washed her face and stared at her reflection. It was enough to make her take the drugs. She took the roll up and dug deeply into her pocket for a lighter. The roll up lit quickly and she slowly breathed in the smoke. It made her cough a little from lack of doing it. She suspected that it was in fact heroin that she had taken, recalling information in a class at the start of their first college year. She left the public toilets and walked away from the bus station, letting her feet lead her to a bench where they finally gave way and made her sit down. Her head grew light as the drug began to react in her system. The thoughts she had in her head, the worries that had taken her into a world of pain and suffering were slowly disappearing. She felt happy and warm, the buzz making her feel like everything was alright. But it wasn't.

"Fuck," Emily gasped as the buzz began to disappear and her body felt weak.

It wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want a quick buzz, she wanted a long, drawn out evening that left her cares away. But this wasn't like that, it didn't make her feel better, it made her feel worse. She stood up, taking a few steps towards the bus station, hoping to catch the bus home. But before she'd even taken one step, she could feel the world move beneath her feet and an overwhelming urge to throw up hit. Emily rushed towards a small bush, almost landing on the floor as she crouched beside it, letting her insides out into the dirt below.

"Fucking hell," Emily cried, her head pounding and her body not righting itself. She didn't want to be under the influence anymore. She didn't want to take drugs. She felt sick and dizzy, disorientated by the world moving around beneath her.

Disorientated and alone, Emily wandered through the streets of Bristol. Her awareness of the things around her were sketchy and she cared little for her safety as she stumbled around. Every once in a while she had to stop to be sick, which made her sob loudly. She knew she was a mess and she knew that it was a mistake, but she couldn't find a way to fix it. She kept walking until she reached a door that felt familiar, though she couldn't seem to remember why. When a woman answered the door she smiled at her.

"Naomi?"

The woman frowned, her face coming into focus long enough for Emily to realise it wasn't Naomi stood in front of her.

"Where is she?" she asked, gasping for breath as a wave of sickness knocked her down.

"I don't know who you're talking about," the woman answered, "Are you okay?"

Emily held onto the door frame, her feet unsteady. She started to cry again.

"Where the fuck is she?" Emily sobbed, looking at the woman, trying to get an answer.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you're talking about, can I phone someone for you?"

Emily nodded her head, "Naomi, Naomi," she cried, moving away from the door and falling onto her knees on the small grassed garden. Emily turned as the front door closed and she shouted to them, "Where the fuck is she? Don't you fucking close the door,"

Feeling her stomach rumble, her mouth growing moist, Emily knew she was about to be sick again. She let her stomach take control before laying down on the grass, fumbling in her pocket for her phone. It took a while to get what she wanted, but she finally heard Naomi's voice on the other side of the phone.

"Emily?" Naomi asked, "This will have to be quick, my battery is about to go,"

Hearing her girlfriends voice was all she needed to cry louder and harder. She sobbed into the phone.

"Emily," Naomi gasped, trying to get some sense out of her, "Emily talk to me, tell me where you are?"

"Why aren't you at home?" Emily finally asked, "Why are there weird people in your house?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone, but it didn't really make a difference, Emily continued sobbing, rolling over and dropping the phone onto the grass.

"Emily?" Naomi gasped again, "Emily? Talk to me,"

But within seconds the phone line went dead.

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It was the strangest conversation Naomi had ever had. She was sat on the floor of a cold and dark alleyway, her body colder than it should have been for the night to go well. When Emily's name flashed up on screen she'd half expected her to ask her to join her in a bar or at least ask how she was, she certainly didn't expect her to sound a mess. She didn't know what to do, her only clue in what Emily had said about her house. It scared her that Emily could have found out the truth, but she was worried about her girlfriend and she knew that was more important than keeping secrets. She walked across town, running once in a while to keep her temperature up. It was a freezing cold night, but it didn't matter anymore. She just had to find Emily. She contemplated calling Emily's parents, but she knew they wouldn't be best pleased getting a call from "the one who turned Emily". When she reached her old house she saw a police car sat outside and two officers handling a young woman in the middle of the lawn. Naomi rushed towards them.

"Excuse me, where are you taking her?"

"That isn't any of your business young lady," one of the officers informed her.

"Please, she's my girlfriend, she's got some problems in her life at the moment,"

"We're just going to take her home," the other officer announced.

"Let me," Naomi muttered.

"I'm sorry but we can't do that, we've had a complaint off the couple who own this house, she's been verbally abusive,"

"Please," Naomi begged, "she trusts me, this used to be my house, she needs me."

"Naomi!" Emily grinned, struggling under the grip of the officers before falling into Naomi's arms.

"Hey you, what's going on here?"

"I feel sick," Emily groaned, her insides escaping onto the ground between Naomi and the police officers.

"Do you promise to take her immediately home?"

Naomi nodded, assuring the officers that she would do as she said, before they left them alone.

*

Carrying her girlfriend's body weight as she leant against her, Naomi analysed Emily carefully. She'd seen Emily drunk before and she'd watched her having smoked hash and taken MDMA. But she'd never seen her quite so bed. She tried to get her attention to ask her what was wrong, but her eyes were all over the place and she was obviously more than drunk.

"What have you taken Ems?" she asked, struggling to lead her through the neighbourhood.

It was difficult to carry Emily's weight, holding her up when she didn't want to take control of her own legs. She threw up at various points, leaving Naomi smelling of vomit.

"I can't do this anymore," Naomi muttered, pulling her along until they'd stopped on someone's driveway.

Naomi found a hose attached to an outdoor tap and sent a stream of freezing cold water in Emily's direction. It wasn't the best idea on a cold night, but Naomi had run out of the best ideas. She watched as Emily reacted badly to the cold water, waving her arms about, her face growing angry. Naomi laughed slightly at Emily's comical reaction. Eventually she turned off the hose and moved to Emily's side.

"Feeling better?"

The red head rolled her eyes, taking a long deep breath as tears built in her eyes. Naomi watched her girlfriend go from sobering up, to sobbing again.

"Ems?" she whispered, feeling guilty for covering her with the water. She leant forwards, wrapping herself around Emily's body as she began to shiver.

It was too cold to stay outside. Naomi helped a sobbing Emily to her feet and they made their way through the streets until they were stood in front of the Fitch house. The windows were dark, suggesting the family was asleep, much to Naomi's appreciation. She found Emily's key and unlocked the door, helping her girlfriend into the lounge room.

"I found this blanket, you should get out of those wet clothes," Naomi ordered Emily, who nodded in silence, before doing as Naomi said. Naomi went into the kitchen and made some got drinks whilst giving Emily privacy. She entered the lounge to find Emily crying again.

"Don't cry, I hate seeing you so sad," Naomi muttered, putting the hot mugs on the table, before pulling Emily into her arms.

It took a while, but Emily eventually stopped crying. Naomi didn't move her arms, which were wrapped tightly around Emily's. She could feel her girlfriend shaking.

"Are you still cold?"

"No," Emily replied, her first word for nearly an hour.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Naomi asked, rubbing Emily's back.

"I took heroin," Emily admitted, a sentence that took Naomi back.

"Heroin?" she gasped, feeling scared, "Why? What could make you do such a thing?"

Tears fell from Emily's eyes again, but this time she could still talk.

*

There was a silence. A long silence that Emily could tell made Naomi uncomfortable, eventually she gave in and filled it.

"Katie's treatment isn't working, she has to go onto something else," Emily admitted, telling Naomi about the treatment for the first time.

"Is she going to be okay?" Naomi asked, a level of calm that made Emily feel guilty for being such a mess.

"They need to find the best option now, they didn't really say any more."

"These doctors are pretty good at this kind of thing," Naomi mumbled, "I bet they know what they're doing."

"I'm just," Emily began, sniffling, "I just feel so scared."

The red head pushed her face into her girlfriends chest, finding comfort in her arms for the first time since Katie's diagnosis.

"It's okay to be scared," Naomi admitted, "This is big, it's okay to be worried."

"What if they can't make her better?" Emily began to sob, "What if she dies? I couldn't handle that, I can't live without her."

It was heartbreaking. Emily could sense Naomi's heart twisting just watching her in tears. They usually shared their pain, feeling what the other felt. But Emily had kept that from happening.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "I should have talked to you, I shouldn't have let it get this bad."

They shared a look that Emily couldn't understand. Naomi looked scared, worried but not how Emily expected. She looked nervous and guilty.

Naomi quickly interrupted her thoughts, "Why heroin?"

Emily could feel herself laugh, she knew it was the wrong reaction, but it was what she felt like doing, "Because the guy didn't have any cocaine."

"This is serious Emily, don't make jokes."

"It's not a joke," Emily admitted, "I wanted cocaine, but the dealer ran out."

"I can't believe you took class A drugs."

Taking a deep breath, Emily looked into Naomi's eyes, "I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling, I let myself get into a place where I wanted to take something to get my mind off what was happening. One day I went too far and I promised I wouldn't do it again, but tonight I did."

Brushing her hair from her eyes, Naomi pressed her lips against Emily's cheek, "You should have come to me."

"I know, I'm sorry." Emily replied, "I want you to stay with me, I need you," Emily mumbled, wiping her eyes.

Naomi nodded, "I'm here and I wont go anywhere until you tell me otherwise."

They lay together on the sofa, arm in arm, skin to skin. If things weren't so bad, Emily would have hoped they'd get a little closer. But she knew it wasn't the time or the place. She felt comforted by the closeness, safe in her girlfriends arms. She could feel her body drifting into a state of unconsciousness. She was quickly pulled from her sleep by her actions from earlier in the evening returning to her.

"Naomi?" she whispered, Naomi murmured a response.

"Naomi, why was a woman I've never met living in your house?"

"Maybe it was Jan," Naomi replied quickly. Emily shook her head, knowing her response didn't feel right.

"It wasn't Jan, she didn't know anyone called Naomi, she called the police."

"I," Naomi began, her voice growing quieter.

"Naomi?" Emily asked, sitting up.

"I can't tell you," Naomi whispered, a sensitivity about her that made Emily feel bad for questioning her. But she also knew she had to keep at it, or Naomi would never tell her.

"Things haven't been right for a while, you've been acting strangely, not letting me come back to yours, what's going on?"

Naomi's eyes were like a deer in the headlight, they were wide and frightened, as though the worst thing possible was about to happen. Emily had been so blind, her own problems clouding whatever was going on for Naomi.

"I have been so selfish lately, but I want us to fix our relationship properly. For that to happen we have to be completely honest," Emily informed her, "If not, we'll have nothing left."

Naomi lowered her gaze, her eyes looking towards the floor. Emily wanted to stare into her girlfriends deep blue eyes, but instead she waited for a response.

"I don't live there anymore,"

The words were barely audible, but Emily still heard them. She thought for a moment that she was hearing things because she couldn't quite understand what was going on.

"Why?" she asked, frowning.

"Mum lost the house," Naomi admitted, her face red with embarrassment.

"She lost the house?" Emily repeated.

"She lost the house and she ran out of money, we had to stay with her friend until he kicked us out."

It was difficult to hear what Naomi was saying, but as the words began to process, she grew more and more confused.

"The last few nights I've been living on the street."

Emily gasped, not quite sure how to take what she was hearing. She felt a new wave of sickness, but she knew it wouldn't amount to anything. She moved away from Naomi, struggling to look at her.

"You," she began to say, stuttering between gasps, "You have been lying to me?"

"No," Naomi began, "Yes."

"You've been lying to me, for how long?"

"Since the first day of college."

Emily choked on the air, struggling to understand what was going on. "You've been lying to me for nearly eight weeks?"

Naomi's eyes were tearful and her face broke into sobs. Emily knew it was her chance to repay the comfort that Naomi had given her earlier in the evening. But all she could see was red.

"You came to my house and accused me of lying to you when the only person who was lying...was you."

Naomi wasn't saying anything, she sat staring at her hands, a look of sheer sorrow and embarrassment the only thing on her face.

Emily was growing angry, she couldn't help herself, "You fucking bitch, how dare you lie to me?!"

"Emily, please," Naomi begged, but she just shook her head.

"My sister has something that people die from, she is in and out of hospital on all sorts of medications trying to get better and you lie to me about something so, so...stupid. What the fuck did you think I was going to do?"

"Please," Naomi sobbed, reaching out to touch Emily's arm.

"Don't, you cant just cry and expect me to get over this,"

"But my life," Naomi sobbed, "I have nothing if I don't have you."

"None of what you told me was true, all those lies, your house being decorated? Why would you," Emily gasped, utterly shocked by Naomi's confession.

"I need you," Naomi cried, curled up on the sofa, a mess.

Emily shook her head, struggling to remain calm as she continued to shake her head. Naomi started to sob louder, her body shaking with continued tears.

"I think you should go," Emily told her.

"But I have nowhere to go," Naomi sobbed.

Emily just shook her head. She felt sympathy, an overwhelming urge to envelope Naomi in her arms and tell her she could stay and that everything would be okay. But when she thought about how angry Naomi had got because she'd failed to mention Katie's illness the day after she found out, she felt sick. She didn't want to be the bad person who kicked out her homeless girlfriend, but she couldn't stand the thought of seeing her any longer. Naomi eventually stood up and Emily watched her walk towards the doorway, stepping outside into the freezing cold night with barely more than a t-shirt for warmth. It occurred to Emily that it was too cold outside, but then she closed the door and pushed the thought aside long enough for her to lie back down on the sofa and fall into a deep sleep.

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AN: So there we go, that chapter finished...and Emily and Naomi's secrets are finally out in the open. Obviously their reactions were very different. PLEASE leave reviews or comments, I would love to know what you're thinking right now. Thanks for reading and I apologise again for how heartbreaking and angsty this story is!