Part II: Syd Struggles With Dependence, And Depression In Absence
(Missi's POV)
Eight thirty is when Syd shakes me and wakes me with screams and cries of hysteria. "D-Darling! Darling help m-me! I c-can't.. I c-can't!...!" Why can't he finish his sentence?! If he's out of it, I'm going to KILL the person who made him that way! Before I can show any sign of emotion, Syd decides to just drag me to the location of his problem. I can't even get a word out, I'm honestly too stunned. So I silently follow a scared, terrified, Syd out of his room, down the hallway, through the living room and into the kitchen. The kitchen, now here is where the problem is. I can't see, the black smoke is too thick. Ah, and here is where that burning smell is coming from. That's all I can smell through out the who flat. As I open the kitchen windows to let out the smoke, Syd follows my every footstep. Both of his hands are clinging to both my wrists for dear life, too tight, as I notice that numb sensation. He's cutting off my circulation. DAMN HE'S GOT SOME STRENGTH! He glances everywhere with panicky worrisome eyes. Looking at me, there is the most fearful gaze I've EVER seen, painted all over his face. He looks so fearful of me, of what I might say. In truth, I haven't said a word throughout all of this. I've just been a still, silent, solid object for him to focus on while he spun in dizzying circles. Now that he is somewhat calm, I gently weave my fingers with his, pulling him closer to me. I hug him, burying my face in his blue shirt. I can feel his body shaking. He wraps his arms around me in a tight hug, lifting me up off of the floor, his palms tightly holding my back in place. He is shaking SO hard that he's making me shake with him. He is SO scared! My poor Angel! I notice that he's crying silent tears as he gently sets me down and lets me go a few minutes latter. He flinches away from me. He wraps his arms around himself and hangs his head down. I take a quick step towards him, squeezing him tightly in my arms. He buries his face in my shoulder as he cries.
"I-I...Darling..", he whimpers. Crying harder now.
"This isn't your fault, My Angel~Baby. It was an accident. I know that you didn't mean to do this." I say as I kiss his cheek, moving some of the hair from in front of his eyes.
"I, only..w-wanted, e-eggs to eat.
I t-tried, to make, eggs,
Dar-Darling..." he sniffles, new tears running down his cheeks.
"...a-and,...and s-s-some, toast..." he bites his lip, trying to hold back tears that overflow anyway.
"Shhh, shhh, Angel. Please don't cry baby." I lightly crush him to me, stroking his chocolate curls.
"You don't need to be so upset over some burnt food." I tell him, gently rubbing circles on his back to soothe him. I feel him nod in my shoulder. "Tell you what!" I give him a small smile, quickly pulling out of our embrace.
"I'll cook for you!" I lightly tap his nose with my left index finger when I say 'you'. He giggles, hiding his smile with his hand. I pull it down, weaving his fingers together with mine. I kiss his smile.
"NEVER EVER hide your sweet innocent smile, My pretty Angelic Angel of Mine." I pause, kissing him again.
"Always, smile and laugh all the time for me. Okay?" He nods vigorously, smiling in a sweet childish way. "There you go My Angel! That's what I want to see!" He giggles, sniffling a bit. I take him with me as I get a tissue and wipe his nose. He blows into it as I hold it for him. Then he rests his head on my shoulder. "Th-Thank you, M-My Darling." He whisperes in my ear, kissing my neck. That move of his makes goose bumps appear all over my body, giving me instant cold chills. Literally. "I told you I was going to take care of you, didn't I?" I say, throwing out the tissue and stroking his curls. He just squeezes me, mumbling: "Mmhmm." into my shoulder.
"That's right My baby." I whisper as I kiss his hair, gently rubbing his back. "Why don't you go sit down at the table while I make your breakfast." I smile and he giggles, actually bouncing over to sit down in a chair. I smile again, biting my lip. He's actually VERY bouncingly graceful for being 5'11. What a man...
To me, Syd is the only person who could EVER make bouncing graceful.
I begin cleaning the rest of the kitchen, preparing to cook him fried eggs as I go. I notice that Syd is very observant as I began to cook. He even gets up from the table to come and wrap his arms around my waist. He kisses my cheek. That one makes me blush a rose red. When I finish the eggs, and make his toast, I sit him back down, give him a fork, his plate and a towel. I kiss him, sitting across from him. "Enjoy My Angel. I hope you like it." I smile. He nods shyly, giggling.
"Thank you My Darling." He says that SO sweetly! Even MORE sweetly than I could have EVER imagined in My WHOLE life!
"I love you My sweet Angel~Baby..." I say with a content sigh. I kiss him softly and with all of the love that I can possibly muster up. Then he stabs his fork into a piece of egg, and puts it in his mouth with a lot of quick excitement.
"This is yummy Darling!" Syd suddenly exclaims, eating more of his eggs.
"That's groovy Babe!" I say, REALLY happy with how he enjoys my cooking. I can't help but to ALWAYS smile around Syd. I KNOW he has endless charming charisma and the sweet innocence of a child. It is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING how much he effects me after being with him for just a few days. Then again, I am in love...I always have been...and I KNOW that I ALWAYS will be.
When Syd is half way through his eggs, there is a knock at the door. That's when he whirls around in his chair, worried and scared again. Probably afraid to see more of those damn groupie whores. "Relax Angel. I got it. You just eat your breakfast." I gently kiss him on the cheek and walk over to open the door. As I cautiously open it, I admit that I am afraid to see more of those random whores. To my good luck, it's The Doctor instead. I smile at him, VERY happy to see him. "Hello Missi Maye!" He says, waving at me. "Hi Doctor." I say, happily relieved. "Is he up?!" He asks me with enthusiasm. I know that he's asking about Syd. "Yeah he is. He's eating breakfast." "Can I come in and say 'hi'?" "Okay. I think he'd like to make a new friend today." As I open the door wider, Syd is suddenly by my side. "D-Darling..." he's wining and whispering in my ear. "Darling...m-may I have, a glass of milk, p-please?"
"'Course you can Angel." I say to him as we walk back into the flat, The Doctor following behind us.
"W-Who is, h-he?" Syd whispers in my ear, pointing at The Doctor over my shoulder. "He's a friend of mine. Known as 'The Doctor'."
"I-Is..mm..is, h-he,..h-here, because of, m-me? Darling is he?!" He asks in a shaky whisper. His voice climbing in octaves that I didn't know he could reach. Quite frankly, that really scares and worries me.
"It's ok Angel, he's not that kind of doctor. He just wants to be your friend." I explain calmly, stroking his cheek. Syd nods, still a good amount of worry in his emerald eyes. Yet, there's that trust in me that's always there now. Dominant in his features. I take a good looking glass off the counter by the sink, rinse it out, and place it in Syd's hands. He smiles, big, bright and clear. Happy and content. All traces of earlier stressed worry, gone.
Turning around and grabbing the bottle of milk out of the refrigerator, I spin around and pour some in Syd's glass. I smile to myself, feeling very clever for that move. He giggles, gulping some. Now he's got a white milk mustache. Taking those few steps between us, I notice I'm kissing his white stained lips. He embraces me, kissing me all over my face. I let out a nice ringing laugh that I didn't know I had in me. "My Syd~Angel! You are the man of all my wonders!" "I l-love you, M-My Darling..." Syd says, pulling me into a tighter embrace than before, kissing my lips with as much love as he could possibly give in one kiss. It's a really hard one too. Holy fucking shit!
"Weeeeeell! If I may interrupt! I'm going to finish those spot of eggs there on the stove behind you two!" The Doctor announces loudly as he swiftly steps into the kitchen. I laugh and Syd tries to crouch behind me. So afraid of people he is...poor baby... You see? This is exactly what I need to fix up. All of this terrifying paranoid fear of people he has. Syd can't be happy, if he's always scared. I'm here to fill that hole as best as I can. Along with any other problems that might surface and make themselves known.
As The Doctor helps himself to the last of my cooked eggs, I can't help noticing Syd silently cry. I hug him, but he rips himself of my embrace and runs as fast as he can to his bedroom.
"I'm being very rude, aren't I?" The Doctor asks, watching Syd slam his bedroom door shut, with an audible loud 'bang'. Then there's a 'click' as he locks himself in. I sigh, chewing on my fingers out of nervousness.
"No. He's afraid of everyone. Other than me. He's been through so much already. I'm trying to make him realize that not everyone wants to hurt him, use him, or betray him. There are good people out there, he just doesn't realize that yet."
"Maybe he doesn't want to. He's more attached to you than I've ever seen anyone attached to anyone." "Syd is a very fragile person. With the way I see it, he needs some one to get attached to. Thanks to you, I'm that right woman for him."
"Do you, make him happy, Missi?" The Doctor asks me thoughtfully, lightly placing his index finger to the bottom of his chin.
"Yes I do. I've made him smile, giggle and laugh most of the time that I've been here."
"Most of the time?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah...umm, he's really emotional. Like I said, he's a fragile person. As a matter of fact, I should go check on him. To be completely honest, I REALLY HATE, to leave him alone. So, hold on, you can make yourself some more food if you want." I smile at him before rushing to Syd's locked bedroom door.
I lightly knock twice. No sound. "Angel~Baby, ...it's me. Can I come in?" I ask softly, trying not to sound too loud. I hear the sounds of footsteps, shaky fidgeting of the lock, and slow, high-pitch squeaking as he slowly opens his door. (I can't help but notice that...I've heard this door squeak for the first time sense I've been here. How weird.) The sight before me, shatters my soul. There, standing in the doorway, was a teary eyed scared Syd. I HATE to see him cry! Before I could think anymore on the subject, he grabs my arm, and yanks me into his room, slamming the door again and locking it a second time. He runs with me in tow, to his bed by the window. Picking me up, he gently lays me down, and crawls in, as I cover us both with a blanket. He sniffles, whining as he rolls on his side, burying the left side of his face in my chest. He wraps his arms around me in a tight squeeze, having no intention of letting me go any time soon...
This is EXACTLY what I've ALWAYS dreamt of and wanted more than ANYTHING else in ALL of the ENTIRE universe. I want him to make me his emotional support. I want him to empty everything out, so that I can fill him up with love and happiness. Everything is still perfect to me. Even though I HATE seeing him like this.
" I love you My Syd~Angel." I whisper softly, stroking his silky chocolate curls. I kiss his forehead as he squeezes me tighter.
"Darling...I n-never wanna let you
g-go. I love you." I kiss his curls, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "You never have to let me go My Angel." I say reassuringly.
"I w-want you, with m-me,..f-forever and, ever!" He squeezes me again, this time, taking some of my breath away.
"You are SO sweet, innocent, and just too too precious My Angel. There is NO WAY I could NOT love you and NOT stay with you!" I crush Syd into my chest, kissing him as much as I can. He giggles, burying his face deeper into me.
"I-I love you, M-My Darling" He mumbles. I laugh, quickly kissing him. "Do you want to tell me why you got so upset and just ran out the way you did?" I ask, combing through his curls, my voice thick with concern. Loosining his squeeze on me, he rolls over, now looking up at me with those glowing green emeralds.
"I-I, was... g-giving you, m-my love,
D-Darling...and, he c-came, into the kitchen,...h-he...he ruined it!" Syd whines and frowns that kind of frown that would tear my chest open and rip my heart out. Thankfully, that's just a figure of speech.
"Oohh! My Angel..." I sigh. Playing with a loose stringy silky chocolate curl that hangs by his left eye.
"Now. I KNOW, that YOU know, we can have more moments like that. Just think of it! You, me,..snogging ...right now..." I say, pressing my lips to his. He giggles softly, rolling on top of me. I take full advantage of this moment by wrapping my whole body around him. My legs wrapping around his waist, my arms around his shoulders and long neck. Meanwhile, my fingers were tangled up in his perfect silky mess of chocolate curls. I can't get him more close to me, even if some one glued us together. You can figure out the rest of what happened for yourself...
As Syd lay sleeping on my chest, (to me, his favorite place to sleep in all the world) he looks SO serene. He looks SO beautiful❤❤ He even SLEEPS flawlessly! My eyes end up wandering around the room for whatever strange reason. After looking at Syd sleeping, and all around his room again for a fourth time, I notice a joint lying on the floor. How did that get there? Maybe one of those whores left it? Maybe it's one that Syd didn't finish before I came into his life? I pick it up and begin examining it. Small. Carefully, perfectly rolled with quick tenderness. The perfect joint. No one but My Angel could have created this beauty. That's how I know that I shouldn't smoke it. I slowly and gently set it down where I found it, not taking my eyes off my sweet sleeping Syd. Awwwwww! He's smiling a small happy smile. What a pretty sight, of a pretty British Beauty... I love seeing him have good dreams that make him happily smile.
"I love you My Angel." I softly whisper in his ear, tucking a small chocolate curl behind it. I softly sigh to myself, just watching him. The MOST PERFECT person to EVER walk this planet. 'An Angel Among Humans.' That's the way to describe him. That's how I will ALWAYS see him personally. Of course, I see him in SO many different ways one could NEVER comprehend...
"You know what Missi? There is nothing but eggs and old stale bread for food in this flat." The Doctor complains as he digs through cupboards and the cool box. Obviously finding these very things. "You're overlooking a bottle of milk in the cool box Doctor." I say sarcastically as I grab it and dangle it in his face. "Half full." he says tapping the bottle with his finger. "Ugh! Fine. I can go out and get more food for YOU, Syd, and I,..does THAT make you happy?" I'm just SO fuuuuuull of sarcasm. Why oh WHY? Did he HAVE to take me OUT of My PERFECT place with My PERFECT Angel?! "You're both only human. Remember?" He says that SO calmly and SO scientifically. "Yes I KNOW everything you're telling me. I can GO get us food Doctor." I cross my arms across my chest. He nods, smiling a small clever smile. I roll my eyes. "Anything else you'd like to add before I go?" I ask, looking out the window. Rain again. It always rains in London. " How about you come with me out to The Tardis so I can get you a proper mac." He turns for the door and opens it. I nod. "Alright. I don't want to soak up water like a sponge." I say, as I rush out the door. To my amazement, I didn't run into The Tardis with how close it was to the pavement. I pushed the door open. "Okay, where is one in here then?" I ask, looking around. "What's your favorite color?" he asks me, walking over to the BIGGEST wracks of clothes I have EVER seen in my life. "Purple." I answer, looking around in absolute amazement. "Okay. Here we are! A nice, small purple mac. You can keep it if you'd like." He smiles big, excitedly helping me into it. "Perfect fit!" he says as he watches me examine myself. "Are you sure you want me to really keep it?" "Why not? You don't seen to have one, you need one. I have hundreds of them! Giving you one of them is the least I can do Missi. You look very pretty in it!" I smile, blushing a little at his compliment. "Thank you. Um. I'm going back inside to get Syd and to go get us food. Do you want to come?" I ask him. "No." he says. "I can stay here while you go." "Okay, we'll be back in a while then. Thank you again for my new coat." "Anytime! Anytime!" He says with a smile.
Tucking my hair back, I put up my hood and walk out in the rain. Taking exactly ten steps, I open the door and walk into the flat, finding Syd standing by the window. The sound of me closing the door makes him jump. "Oh My Angel! I'm so sorry if I scared you!" "Darling! I missed you!" Syd says, rushing over to me. Picking me up he kisses me with SO much force. "I wasn't gone but a minute Angel." I say kissing his cheek. "...but...I miss you... when, you are not with me. I feel alone, and scared, and...un-protected, when you are not with me Darling..." He squeezes me tightly, burring his face in my hair. "P-Please don't ever leave me..." he moans in my hair. "You are the only reason that I'm even here in the first place Syd. I want to love you unconditionally. Irrevocably. I want to keep you happy. I want to take care of you for the rest of your life. From now onto forever." I kiss his curls, stroking them softly. He squeezes me, placing me back on my feet. I take his right hand into my left hand. I kiss the back of it. He giggles, squeezing mine tighter. "I promise I'll never let you go My Angel." I say, hugging him. "I will never, let you go, My Darling. I promise! I promise!" He smiles excitedly, giggling. Oh! That sweet innocent childish giggle of his! "Are you ready to go to the grocery shop with me Angel?" I ask, looking him up and down. He's now wearing a brown coat with pink trousers. He nods excitedly. "I'm ready to go Darling!" With those last cheerful words, we're off.
Unfortunately, we can't go anywhere, in any shop, without my poor Syd getting hassled and harassed every five fucking minutes! Now, you can imagine how much this truly irritates the hell out of me! There is only so much that I can fucking take! Although, this applies to Syd more than it ever could to me. After all, he is the one getting hassled, not me. I'm immensely pissed off because I KNOW he can't handle all of this stupid-ass bull shit like everyone 'thinks' he can. More and more fans upon fans running up to him, getting in his face, jabbering on, and on, and on, and ON, about how Syd is, 'their 'God' when they take real good acid trips'. When these words are actually said to his face, he frowns and bites his lip. He puts his hands behind his back, and awkwardly shifts his weight from left to right, then back again. He nervously looks all around and then shoots me a desperate look, his emerald eyes clearly pleading for a helpful input from me. As I figure out that he's tongue tied, asking me for help, and he can't find words to respond with, that's when I take control. "Where do you idiots get off telling him this stupid-ass bull-shit?!" I scream in their faces, stepping in front of Syd, tying my best to block their view of him. Though, I know they can still see him because of my sad and pathetic ridiculous hight of 5'3. "Whoa, relax...Chill. We don't mean any harm. We just want to show Syd here, that he is our inspiration, for all our trips." I can tell that he's high as he saying this. The others in his group all nod in agreement to his words, smiling at each other and smiling at Syd. Oh, My poor Syd. He doesn't know what to do, or how to react to any of this. Shock and fear overwhelm him, to where he's just mute. The way these stupid acid heads are praising him, really DOES scare him. It's obvious he never wanted THIS kind of treatment from ANYONE. "Okay look. Syd doesn't even do acid like you THINK he does. I mean he may have taken it willingly on his own once or twice, but no more than that. All he really does is paint and make music. THAT IS ALL. If you want to be inspired by him, be inspired by his music or art. Oh, and you may be wondering why HE isn't the one saying all of this. YOU ARE SCARING HIM WITH YOUR IDIOCY. Do I need to dumb it down some more for you to understand? LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE. CAN YOU DO THAT?" It REALLY is taking ALL of my energy and willpower to NOT yell at these fucking idiots. Again, they all look at each other, but they aren't smiling. Instead, bewildered disappointment is all over their faces. They all look at me (and the still mute Syd behind me), then they nod apologetically. "ALL OF YOU CAN BE ON YOUR WAY NOW." I say sternly, luckily not losing my ever so short temper. They all finally walk alway, hanging their heads sadly down. Like I'm going to feel sorry for them. Not in a million years! Once they're out of sight, Syd smiles a small smile, softly and sweetly whispering in my ear: "Thank you Darling. I love you." He squeezes me tight, kissing the top of my head. I laugh as he did so. "I will defend you from everyone if I have to My Angel. I will NEVER let ANYONE hurt you in ANY way, NOT emotionally and certainly NOT physically." I look up at him, giving him a bright triumphant smile. Seeing his small smile turn big and bright at these promised words makes my heart beat rapidly and excitedly irregular, as my soul sours... Then, as if to remind us why we're here, Syd's stomach growls. He giggles at the sound, rubbing it with his left hand. "Come on Angel, let's get some food in you now." I say to him, taking his right hand and leading him to a nearby isle. "What about, cereal Darling?" he asks me, pointing to a box of frosted flakes. "You can eat whatever you want to eat babe." I say, picking up the box he was pointing at. "Let's get another couple of bottles of milk too." I say, and he nods, pulling me to a shelf full. He smiles brightly, picking up two glass bottles. "That's it, let's go." Syd says with excited anxiousness, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the front of the shop to pay. He sets down the two bottles of milk, and pulls the frosted flakes from my grasp, setting them on the counter as well. Then he pulls out what looks like 30 pounds. When it's our turn, the cashier looks absolutely astonished to see sight of Syd in here. Really?! Seriously?! She rings up our items, and then clears everything just as fast. Neither of use even see how much it comes to. She puts the two bottles and cereal in a brown paper bag, then says with the MOST creepiest voice I have EVER heard, and the MOST cheesiest smile I have EVER seen in ALL my life to go with it: "Here you are Mr. Barrett! You can have these groceries free of charge. You don't have to spend any of your hard earned money here, you can keep it for more important things sweetie." Shocked sadness, is now all over Syd's face. After a moment of fidgeting with the thirty pounds in his hands, he sighs and stuffs the money back into his coat pocket. Swiftly picking up the bag, he runs as fast as he can outside. "Why did you have to go and do that? He came here to BUY things, NOT to be treated like a spoiled rock star!" I figure if I kept talking I am just going get even MORE pissed off than I already am, and start a pointless fight. So after I utter those words for her up-coming thoughts to chew on, I leave to find Syd standing just outside the shop's front door waiting for me. He picks me up, and cradles me in his arms, making sure that my head lays just tucked inside his elbow, then he sets the bag in my lap, and slowly walks back to the flat without uttering a word. My poor Angel. There HAS to be SOMETHING that I can do to make him feel better..ANYTHING... just, ABSOLUTELY, ANYTHING at all...or he could bounce out of it like he has before. His constant changing moods are a complete mystery to me...Of course he has his reasons...he goes through SO much in one day...I'm going to make him the HAPPIEST that I POSSIBLY can. I've just got to keep trying...
keep...trying...keep... ...trying...
"You're really quite tender with her, aren't you?" Asks an intrigued Doctor. Watching at how Syd seems to be fascinated with finger combing my hair. It feels like he's petting me like he would a beloved cat. I've NEVER felt a more gentle innocently sweet and loving touch from ANYONE other than him. "Mmhmm. She is, My Darling Little Maye-Maye, and I love her. She has...my heart." Syd whispers, combing through my hair with his long thin fingers. His touch makes me feel SO tingly! He says the MOST sweetest innocent things...incredible... He loves me as much as I love him... It's only just now, that I realise I fell asleep in his arms within the process of being carried back here. The second I move, Syd freezes. A few strands of my hair dropping out of his hands faster than light, as if my hair had shocked him. I roll over in his arms, now looking up at his Angelic face. He smiles nervously, looking away and biting his lip. "Oh My dear sweet innocent Syd. Don't be afraid to play with my hair while I'm awake too..." I wink at him. He smiles, even giggles, and picks out a new strand, resuming his child-like fascination. Within seconds of just fidgeting, he begins to beautifully braid my hair with quick easy tenderness. "Oh! You have got to always be your complete perfect self with me My Angel~Baby." I say as I kiss his cheek. I notice him blush as I kiss him. That NEVER gets old! "So how was shopping?" The Doctor asks, curious. "It was completely ridiculous-"
"I wanted to be treated normally. I wanted to just shop around. You know..b-buy some things, properly buy some things, with proper money, and a-all of that, but,...ev'rything had to go bad, th-there were..too many people, and I, had to, get out..." he coughs, witch scares me shitless. "I am really so so s-so sorry, My Darling little Maye-Maye..." Syd cuts me off, pushing those words out in a swift nervous amazingly rhythmic voice, as if his life depends on it. At the end, he slowly and quietly fades to a soft whisper. Not even looking up to speak, he doesn't even ceases the braiding of my hair. Shortly after he speaks (and finishes a braid,) he looks at me with troubled emerald eyes. He'd said how he felt, and apologized to me at the exact same time, all in that one same breath. "Oh My Angel..." I sigh, hugging him and kissing his cheek. He crushes me into him, his whole body wrapping around me as he squeezes me tight. "Anything else happen?" The Doctor asks Another probing question. He probably wants to hear the whole story. Great. MORE annoyance. (I'd prefer to FORGET IT!) I let Syd go to swiftly set up straight. "Okay, here goes...Syd and I were just shopping and these acid freaks show up proclaiming how he was their god and all of that stupid nonsense. I defended Syd from them, and I got them to cooperate and just leave him alone. Then things were fine for a while as we walked around and got our food, but when we went to ACTUALLY 'PAY' for our food. You know, with that stuff that they call money, right? This creepy-ass woman just happens to be our cashier and recognizes Syd as, you know, Syd,..so she goes on about him not having to actually pay for what he wanted. She hurt him emotionally, doing away with his self-esteem. Then he became too overwhelmed, therefor, he ran away, and that, my friend, is the problem here. Syd is upset because people can't treat him like a normal every-day person. They have to make everything and anything far more dramatic than all of it really needs to be. As I said before. It was completely ridiculous." I took in a deep breath. "I'm glad you weren't there Doctor." "Oh okay." he says, I think admitting defeat now. Good. "I just want to be a painter. Maybe I could be...a very fun art teacher when I get older. Right now I am a painter...I don't want to be a pop star. It isn't fun anymore. It used to be,..a lot of fun...I could jump around and play guitar...I can't now." (He pauses for the shortest second of time imaginable.) "There isn't, anymore freedom, of, artistic expression..or,.. different ..sounds..it,...a-all of it, seems to always be the same to me, all the time...I don't want to do it anymore Darling." Despite his pauses for thought, and the fact that anyone who would actually take the time to really, intimately listen to him like I was, would obviously be able to hear the let-down, mislead-guidance, and sadness in his soft deep voice . The way he speaks still endlessly hypnotises me nonetheless. I can be put under a spell just by the sound of his voice, no matter what mood he's in. Astonishingly amazing, that little fact is... That soft deep voice of his does have it's special unique way of ringing in my ears, becoming no more than just echoes in the deepest thoughts that reside on the inside of my head. In there, those now second-ago memories will stay with me for the rest of my life, beyond infinity. Moving on to his face, which I can't help but sit and stare at in amazement. A perfectly long milk white pale face. Just a touch of pink cheeks. Oh! Let's not forget those perfect emeralds for eyes, and those perfect set of dark eye brows. Along with thoes unimaginably perfectly messy bouncy dark chocolate wavy curls that just SO rightfully belong. His wavy bangs grew out just like the rest of his perfect curls. I can't help but to endlessly adore the way he keeps his eyes on me. Completely in focused concentration. His complete undivided attention as he speaks. Meanwhile, I am drowning in how perfect he is... "...and now I don't want to talk about all of this anymore Darling. I want to paint! Come on, come on! Let's go paint something in my room!" With that being said, he picks me up, and runs to his room, locking the door behind us. Always with the locking of the door...
He sets me on my feet next to the door, and starts excitedly looking around. Then after a minute, he plops down right in the middle of the floor, crossing his legs, a thoughtful look on his angel face. After another minute, the biggest, brightest, and most brilliant smile that I have ever seen on ANY face, lit up Syd's angel face. NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE, could EVER pull off a smile like My Syd~Angel... "Some one's got an idea cooking in their brilliant brain..!" I say provocatively, trying to get it out of him. He giggles, bouncing over to me, squeezing me tight, kissing me on the cheek. "Yup I sure do My Darling Little Maye-Maye!" I laugh at how he spit that out so fast. "So what do you have in mind Angel?" I ask, trying to figure him out. Ha! Impossible! He kneels down, lightly running both his palms over the bare floorboards. Another brilliant smile. A gasp. Aanndd... "DARLING! I'VE GOT IT I'VE GOT IT! YAY! ORANGE AND BLUE GREEN...u-um, TURQUOISE! ORANGE AND TURQUOISE DARLING!" "So you're going to paint orange and turquoise stripes for the look of your floorboards then?" "Yes!...but,...I-I need help...can you help me? PLEEAASSEE DARLING?! PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE?" "You are SUCH a child!" Apparently he took my loving remark the wrong way. Seeing as he is now frowning at me, ready to cry. "Angel~Baby..." I take him into my arms and gently rock him back n' forth. I kiss him softly. "I love and adore that you're like a child." I whisper in his ear, playing with his curls. "Really?" he whispers back, barely audible. "Your sweet childish innocent personality, to me, is your BEST quality!" He giggles. "See? You laughing and giggling all the time is a BIG sign of it baby. You still have your inner innocent child. Not many other people still do." He nods understandingly. Another thoughtful look appears, then out comes the unexpected question: "How old are you Darling?" "21." I say with a laugh. "YOU ARE REALLY 21?! REALLY REALLY?!... You're not just saying that to make me happy are you?" I laughed again. "Yes and no. I just turned recently. Why?" "I'M 21 TOO DARLING! ISN'T IT JUST MARVELLOUS THAT WE ARE THE SAME AGE AT THE SAME TIME?!" Oh wow. Just wow, that's all I can think up for that one... "Without a single doubt My Angel. Without a single doubt. That really truly does amaze me exactly the same way that it amazes you." "Um...will you help me paint...please Darling?" With those innocently sweet said words, and the angelic innocence of a child to go with it, Syd gave me no choice. I just COULD NEVER EVER say no to him! "I would LOVE to help you paint your floor My Angel." My agreement made Syd happy for the rest of the day, and even into the night hours. He slept perfectly sound that night. Ahhhh...My Syd...
The next morning Syd wakes me by jumping on me, happily saying in a sing-song voice: "Come on Darling let's go get paint! Let's go get paint! Wake up wake up wake uuuuuuuup!" Then the next thing I know, Syd lifts me up off of the mattress, and smolders me with sweet sweet kisses. Wow! What a way to be woken up! He cradles me in his arms, giggling as he squeezes me tight. He kisses me again, very long and very passionate. We took our sweet little time when we started snogging. Eventually a complete two hour snogging session takes place before we finally leave the flat to find Syd his paint.
After about a half an hour, we find two medium sized buckets of paint. One a light orange. The other a really pretty turquoise. "There you go baby! The colors you wanted for your stripes." Syd smiles triumphantly. The perfect angelic grin streaching acrross his face from one perfect cheek to the next. Watching Syd smile is something that I can do forever...and the way thoes emeralds light up...what an absolutely astonishingly perfect sight to truely behold! My Angel~Baby smiling... Now, what brings me out of my thoughts and daydreaming is Syd trying to avoid fans. Again. Great. "Oh, my GOD! Syd Barrett! Its REALLY YOU! How do you write fairy tales in songs so brilliantly?! Oh please tell me! Please! I HAVE to know!" a girl screams in his face. He jumps back a little, startled. "U-Um...well I...ummmm...I don't know, h-how,...I do it,...uh, I just...play melodies, on,...y-you know, electric guitar...and then I, I write words,..um, t-to the music...around...th-the music, that I,...p-play..." After he manages to awkwardly and shyly stammer thoes words out, he tries to hide behind me. Unfortunately, that won't do you any good baby...and for that I am SO sorry...Time for me to take over. Again. "Do you have any other questions for Syd?"
I ask this girl, feeling Syd cut off the circulation in the hand both his were clinging to. Ah yes, my right hand. "Um, let me see..." she thinks for a moment. Then she spits out the WORST question IMAGINABLE! "How much LSD do you take a day? I want to take it JUST like you do Syd!" I look up at Syd's face to see his response. He looks like he's going to cry!
I grit my teeth, screaming out my next words. "WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU FUCKING PEOPLE AND FUCKING LSFUCKINGD!? SYD HAS SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER FOR MUSIC AND ART! WHY CAN'T ANYONE EVER JUST LOVE HIS MANY TALENTS, HIM AS THE WONDERFUL PERSON THAT HE IS, OR LOVE SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FUCKING BULL SHIT DRUGS THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING DO?!" Now I'd stunned the girl, and left her frozen out of shock from my sudden outburst of rage. "Well, I'm tired of standing here waisting valuable time I could be spending at home. Me and Syd have things to do, so we've got to be going now." I rumble in agitation. The girl nods, probably too afraid to speak. I don't blame her. If someone exploded on me the way that I just had with her, I wouldn't say a word either. Me and Syd walk away hand in hand. I hope she notices it, actually. After recovering from her moment of shock, she turns and smiles at Syd walking away, witch made him turn and say: "Bye bye! I hope you have a nice day!" Her mouth falls open as she gawks at Syd's cheery words and bright smile. Syd lightly laughs at her expression as she blushes and runs off, embarrassed. I groan. I can't WAIT to get back to the flat! Syd picks me up, and we are on the way.
As soon as we get there, The Doctor tells Syd and I that someone is waiting to see Syd. He smiles, excited to have company. "Who is it? They can meet My Darling!" he says excitedly, wrapping his arms around me, tightly squeezing my waist. "He says he's a friend of yours. A fellow musician." "Actually I'm really just a friend, not a real musician like Syd here. The names Randy. Nice to meet your friends Syd." "Wait! My Darling Missi Maye isn't JUST a friend. She is my girlfriend! My future wife!" Syd says this with such a real certain loving pride. That's proof that he's mine...damn... "Do you want something to eat or drink Randy?" I ask, trying to be polite. Only for Syd's sake. "Sure, I'll just have water. Thanks." he smiles sitting on the front couch. As I go and get his water, Syd goes and gets his black tele. We both come back at the same time and sit right next to each other. Syd begins to lightly strum his guitar, getting it in tune. Randy stands back up. "W-Where are you going?" Syd asks innocently, hoping he won't leave. "Oh nowhere. Just popping out for a quick smoke. I'll be back soon." "Okay." Syd says with a smile. "You've, gotta hurry, r-right back though, I have a new tune, th-that I want to play for you and, My Darling." "Yeah. I sure will mate." he says as he walks out the door. Something's off about him...
Syd suddenly kisses me on the cheek, cutting off my train of thought. "Oh now what's that for Angel?" I ask him. I smile, my cheeks turning a bright radish red. "I love you Darling.
F-Forever and, ever!" he kisses me again, only full on the lips. "Awwwwww I love you forever and ever My Angel." I squeeze him in a tight hug as he happily giggles.
(Randy's POV)
"So this is all of what I've heard about? Two people can trip fucking balls for days or even weeks off of this shit?" I ask. I want to make absolute sure it's good enough. "Yeah that there should do it for ya mate." "When does the high start to kick in?" I want to be fucked up as soon as possible. "Oh, about five to ten minutes tops." "Perfect. Thanks. See you around." In only a few short minutes, I had smoked a cigarette, and managed to find time to get my hands on some LSD from some randome bloke off the street. "Time to get trippin'" I say under my breath as I walk back into Syd's flat.
(Missi's POV)
The closing of the front door makes Syd stop his giggle fit. He rubs his nose, smiling at Randy as he comes into view. "Hi! Would you like to hear my song now?" "Yeah Syd, but could I get some water first?" "Sure, I'll get it." I offer, but Randy says, "no don't move, I'll get it. Do you want some too Syd?" he asks. "Uuuummmm...okay." Syd smiles again, as he continues strumming. I pull him closer to me, kissing him on the forehead. He looks up at me from playing and smiles brightly. I smile back.
Though, suspicion is still heavy as all hell.
How long does it take to get two glassess of water? The second I'd thought that, Randy comes back and gives Syd his glass as he sets back down. "Thank you." Syd says politely, with yet another big smile. He takes two big gulps. "Mmmm, that is great water." he giggles. Then hiccups. "You okay Angel?" I ask, rubbing his back. "I'm okay Darling. D-Do you want some?" he asks, offering me a drink. "I'm not thirsty, but thank you baby." I kiss him on the cheek. He giggles again, drinking the rest. "Yummy! May I have some more please?" "Yeah I'll go refill both of ours." Randy says, taking Syd's empty glass. He returns a few minutes latter. Syd quickly gulps down his second glass too, practically choking on it in the process. "Not so fast babe!" I say nervously, patting his back. He nods, swallowing the last gulp, and setting the empty glass down on the floor. "I'm okay Darling. I'm refreshed, a-and ready to p-play my new song, for you and Randy." he smiles brightly, picking up his guitar. Quickly shaping his chords, Syd plays a perfect beginning. Then into a different rhythm. A bouncy rhythym. Amazing! "Oh oh! Listen to this one
D-Darling!" He re shapes his fingers, and plays a slow rhythym that I automatically sway to. After a few minutes, he changes again. This time into another bouncy rhythym. Five minutes latter, he cuts himself off, and puts down his telecaster. "Soooo you're done playing?" I ask, totally confused. "Mmhmm." he softly hums, getting off the couch, and wandering into a different room. "Where'd he go?" Randy asks me after waiting five more minutes for Syd to come back, but he didn't. Something seriously fucked up is going on here...
My susspisstions are now officially confirmed, as I hear a loud crash, and a scream of agonizing pain to go with it. I run faster than the speed of light, finding Syd laying in the small cramped bath tub. "Ow!" he screams, trying to get up. "Oh My Angel~Baby! What happened?!" Now I am FA-REAK-ING THE FUCK OUT! He sucks in a huge breath. "I-I fell Darling..." he sniffles. HE'S CRYING! NOOOOOO!
"..a-and,..s-s-something hurts...r-really hurts Darling...Ow!" He lets out a painful scream and begins sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh My Syd~Angel!" I kneel down beside him in the bath. "Can you sit up and slowly step out Angel?" I ask, trying to keep him calm. I wipe his tears away and kiss him gently. His eyes look so red. From crying? "Do you wanna try?" I ask, standing up with his hand in mine. First, he just looks up at me, uncertain, then I nod, and he stands. "Ow, ow...!" He screams in pain. "Can you tell me exactly where it hurts baby?" I ask frantically, immediately searching for signs of blood, scratches, or scrapes. Nothing on his face or front... He slowly steps out of the bath, turning ever so slightly. That's wen I see it. The entire back of his shirt is drenched in blood and stuck to his back. "Syd, let's go into your room and lay down in bed for a bit, okay baby?" He nods, squeezing me as tightly as he can manage. Even though I sound and look calm to him, I'm actually really scared to death and freaking out inside. On our way out of the bathroom, I grab two thick towels that just happen to be hanging on the wall.
Acting as his crutch, I slowly and gently walk him to his room, shutting and locking the door. Now I'm doing it...well, it is for his security. He tries to lay on his back, but screams from the pain. He rolls over to lay on his stomach instead. I slide in underneath him, letting him lay on me, his head resting on my chest. "Can I check your back Angel?" I ask him softly, and he nods. I slide out from underneath him. I kneel down beside him. That great big blood stain is covering the entire back of his shirt like I'd seen before. I ever so gently, tenderly, and slowly roll up his shirt, eventually pulling it off of him altogether. Instead of seeing what I SHOULD be seeing, smooth, soft, milk white pale skin, I see two huge bloody gashes that are still fucking bleeding! "Oh baby..." I feel fresh tears roll down my cheeks like an overflowing waterfall.
"It hurts Darling it hurts!" Syd screams, burring his face into a pillow, crying uncontrollably. I gently dabb at them with one of the towels I grabbed earlier. All I can do is sit and stroke his hair, trying my ABSOLUTE HARDEST to comfort him. Then, all of my anguish for his pain quickly and drastically changes to rage because of his next words... "Darling...why is everything so..s-so,...s-swirly?" I look at Syd's face then. Besides his look of terrified fear, he looks really flushed, his eyes are dilated, and just by looking at him, I can tell he's got sudden chills. Oh, what with the goosebumps all over him and all. That fucking bastard Randy! He fucking purposely spiked My Angel with fucking LSD!
"D-Darling I'm sc-scared!" He clenches onto me for dear life. "Sssshhhh, it's okay Angel, it's gonna be okay, don't worry baby, you're gonna be okay." "Everything is black now! NOOOOOO NOOOOOO! Darling! Help me!"
"Think of me Angel. Think of me and listen to the sound of my voice My Angel. I love you so much my precious baby. You mean the whole entire world to me Syd" I kiss him, he kisses me back. "See me Angel?" I ask, wondering if he really IS seeing my face. "Mmhmm,..y-yes I do, s-see you..,th-thank you...I love you, My Darling..." he squeezes me as tight as he can. "I love you forever My Angel." As soon as Syd is comfortable, and his pain simmers down a bit, he's out just like a light.
With Syd now pain-free, and fast asleep for a while, I know that this is my opportunity to go and put that fucking bastard in his fucking place! I quietly unlock and shut the door, locking it again. I storm out into the front room. And do you know what? Seeing that bastard play Syd's tele was just fucking infuriating as ALL FUCKING HELL! What fucking nerv this prick has! Practically running over to him, I snatch it out of his hands. He gives me a confused look. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" I scream in his face. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FLAT RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU SICK FUCKING BASTARD!" I feel The Doctor hold me back. "Missi, what's the reason for this sudden outburst?" he asks, rubbing my shoulders as he continues to hold onto me. "This sick fucking bastard spiked Syd's glass of water with fucking LSD!"
"So, I put some in my drink too. I was having a good trip until you came and ruined it just now."
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT 'YOUR' WELL-BEING, I CARE ABOUT 'SYD'S' WELL-BEING! HE FELL AND HURT HIMSELF BECAUSE YOU SPIKED HIM YOU FUCKER! ON TOP OF ALL THAT, HE DOESN'T EVEN 'KNOW', MUCH LESS 'UNDERSTAND' THAT HE'S HIGH! WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU?! WHERE DO YOU FUCKING GET OFF FEEDING HIM FUCKING DRUGS BEHIND HIS BACK LIKE THAT?! YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!"
I hadn't planed on exploding like this, but he wasn't leaving, and my rage was out of control, turning psychotic. The weird thing is, he's just sitting there taking it. Just casually dealing with me like I'm a child having a tantrum. It figures. Being so short and looking so young. A lot of people treat me like I'm still a pree-teen. "How long is this shit going to effect him?" I ask through my teeth. "Oh days, maybe weeks." is his nonchalant reply. "Give me a serious fuckig answer!" All he's doing now is just pissing me off. "Really. Days or weeks. Depending on the dosage size. I didn't give Syd too much of it. I took most of it for myself latter. I think he will be okay in a coupe of hours. Maybe a day or two tops."
"Get the fuck out, before I fucking throw, you out." I snarled through my teeth. "Well what about Syd? It is his flat you know." "YOU HURT HIM. NOW I. NEED YOU TO LEAVE. SO THAT I. CAN TAKE HIM, TO THE HOSPITAL." I pause for a short breath. "NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!" I scream at the top of my lungs. He is very wise to just simply get up, making an escape now while he's still breathing, with a heart beat, and while his life is still intact. I don't even hear him leave. So long you sick-ass bastard.
Locking the front door, I rush as fast as I possibly can back to Syd's side. Still sweetly sleeping I see. I kneel down beside him, stroking his hair, as I kiss him on the forehead. "Sleep sweetly o' sweet precious Angel of mine." I softly whisper in his all too cute ear as I gingerly tuck a small chocolate curl behind it. I put my hand on his forehead. Good. No fever. I sit down next to his mattress and hold onto his hand. I kiss the back of it. As soon as he wakes up I will do EVERYTHING in my power, in getting him feeling better. STARTING WITH, getting him safely out of this fucking fucked up drug haze.
I have been quietly sitting here with My Angel for an hour now. He's still sleeping pretty heavily, why not give him another hour? My common sense tells me otherwise as I gently dab at the two gashes on his back with a clean wet towel. They don't look very deep. Just two big scrapes. They've stopped bleeding now at least. That doesn't mean that I'm any less worried, terrified, horrified, disgusted, or scared for My Angel than I already am now.
Although, I am also FAR BEYOND thankful and grateful that he's in too much of a deep slumber to feel any pain. Here we go again! I can feel more tears run down my cheeks as I rub gentle circles to his back with the towel again for the zillionth time in less than ten minutes apart. With as much as it pisses me the fuck off that he's hurt in the first fucking place!... I take a deep breath and heave it back out. ...It equally breaks my heart and shatters my soul just the same. I swallow back the huge sore lump in the middle of my throat along with the next batch of tears. Painful for me that is. I softly kiss him on the forehead, delicately finger-combing his chocolate curls. I am going to make it my life's mission to keep him safe, happy, and above all else, loved, along with being properly taken care of by no one other than me from now on, for the rest of his life.
I lay my head on his pillow and lovingly sigh at the angelic sight before me. "...look at that perfect face of My heavenly Angel..." I whisper softly, delicately stroking his cheek, and lightly kissing him on the tip of his nose. Syd hums and giggles softly in his deep slumber. Oh wow! My heart literally, and genuinely, just now skipped a beat! Oh My dear sweet Syd~Angel! How I TRULY REALLY DO LOVE YOU SO VERY VERY much with ALL OF My heart & Soul Forevermore! Just being with you, and watching you 'exist', is the MOST joyist thing in ALL of my life.
(Syd's POV)
The very first person that I see as I awaken is My Darling. Her pretty perfect face is inches from ! She's smiling at me! I LOVE to watch her smile so prettily! I love her beautiful silver-blue eyes too! They're just like a deep dark endless silver-blue ocean. She makes my heart beat SO fast! It makes me happy that she has REALLY been staying with me for all of this time like she said she would. Nobody else has ever stayed with me THIS long before! It is extraordinarily exciting and comforting that she's staying with me! I hope she NEVER leaves me! I hope she really stays with me forever and ever! I wanna marry her SO badly! I hope she will marry me someday! Oh! And we can have children together too! "How do you feel My Angel~Baby? Are you okay? Did sleeping for a little while help?" She's finger-combing my bangs, pushing them out of my eyes, as she's asking her questions. I love it when she does that! I just love everything she does for me, and to me. She cares about me like nobody else does! How do I feel? Uumm...I feel sick, and I'm thirsty. Am I okay? I am okay as long as My Darling is always with me. Did sleeping help? No, not really. I think it made me sick. "C-Can I, h-have something to drink p-please Darling?" I have never liked the way my voice sounds after I wake up from sleeping. It's dry and it cracks. I hope My Darling doesn't mind. I hate that I stutter when I talk too! Talking has always been difficult for me. It's, just hard for me, for whatever strange reason. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. I haven't got the slightest clue as to why. Maye-Maye kisses me. I love how she kisses me so softly and lovingly.
"I'm going to go get you a bottle of milk okay Angel?" She confirms with me. I nod, and she covers me up a bit more. She kisses me on my forehead. I watch with longing eyes as she walks out of our room for milk. I hate it when we can't be together. Even if it is just for a moment. I feel so scared, sad, and all alone when I can't be with her, and when I can't see her. So...that's kind of, how I feel right now. I'm gonna be SO much better when she comes back though!
And as she opens the door, walking in with a milk bottle for me a few moments latter, a big smile is instantly on my face at the sight of her. All of my real happiness revolves around My Darling. I can't ever be without her. She comes to kneel beside my mattress. She holds the milk bottle out to me. "Fresh cool milk JUST for My Angel~Baby." she says cheerfully as I smile bright for her. Taking it from her I notice that she already opened it for me. "Thank you." I shyly say. She knows that I noticed. "Anything for you My Angel." She says, kissing my cheek. I smile again, taking a drink of my milk.
"I love you My Darling." I say as I hug her tight. She laughs a bit, hugging me back and kissing my hair.
"I love you My Angel." she says lovingly.
Yes, I am going to marry My Darling one day.