A/N: Alix33: by jingle I was referring to the rhythmic sound that a turn signal makes (i.e. the tick tock you described) I wasn't meaning to imply her turn signal cranked out "Oh Holy Night" or anything.

Tamk3: You make a good point! :] Yeah I definitely think this chapter really shows the hurt and anguish she is feeling.

Lil-miss-DiNozzo: hahahah love it! Yes talking gets them nowhere a lot of the time that's for sure haha

Kelsey2010: Aww thank you so much! I was hoping that the emotions were coming across the way I wanted them to. So glad you love this story! :] and yes girl, we all want it lol! Lucky!

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The chill in the air caused Mac to shudder against him and he enveloped her more tightly, in an attempt to shelter her from the wind.

Her arms still hung down at her sides, not wanting to touch him because she wanted to too much.

Harm stood still. Afraid that even the slightest movement would shatter the moment and she would back away from him…go back to not wanting him to touch her. He didn't think he could take it. Not again.

"Harm." Her voice was barely audible over the sound of the wind and the muffling of her mouth against his suit jacket.

She lifted her head slightly, repositioning her head to lie in the crook of his neck, her lips coming to rest against his ear. "Can you stay a bit?" Her soft lips and warm breath found their way against him and Harm was finding it difficult to remain
unaffected by their presence.

He nodded against her slowly. "Yeah." He managed.

She slowly backed out of his embrace, turning to head for the door of her building and expecting him to follow.

They reached the top of the stairs and to Mac's apartment door as she fumbled through her clutch for the keys. Her stomach was twisted into knots and her legs felt like they could give out at any moment as she struggled to put the key into the lock. Funny, it had never been a problem before.

Harm observed her quietly. She was shaking. Just when he was about to reach out and help her, she was at last able to slip the key in the lock.

She opened the door slowly, flipped on a light and walked in. She turned and opened the door further as an invitation.

Harm surveyed the room. Somehow it was important…almost painfully so… that he see where she had been staying for almost half a year. He had given it a lot of thought. He had foolishly pictured an apartment full of stacked boxes, waiting to be unpacked. However, everything seemed to be in its place. He didn't see any boxes. The place looked lived in…settled into. Harm bristled at the thought.

She shut the door and locked it, effectively taking him away from his thoughts. She hung her coat on the hook by the door and turned to face him.

"Would you like something to drink?" Her eyes betrayed her air of confidence. She was frightened.

"Sure." Harm nodded slightly and offered her a slight smile.

He crossed the room to her living room when she escaped toward what he assumed was the kitchen. A picture caught his eye as it sat on her bookshelf in a black wood frame. He came to stand before it. It was of Mac and a few women her age, all setting at a table in a restaurant. Mac was laughing and he couldn't help but smile at the look on her face. He picked it up to study it more closely. She looked happy.

Mac came into the room, setting his bottled water on the coffee table behind him.

"You look happy." He stated softly.

Mac noticed what he was looking at. "I've had my moments." She said vaguely.

He sighed as he placed the photo back on the shelf and turned to face her.

"What about you?" She asked as she sat down on the couch, taking a drink of her water. "What makes you happy these days?"

"Not much." He answered honestly as he came to sit beside her.

Mac brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and nodded slowly. "Yeah." She said simply, looking down.

Mac's eyes were full of tears when she looked back up at him.

"Hey." He whispered gently as he pulled her against him, her face once again coming to rest in the crook of his neck. This time though she brought her arms around him, clutching bits of his suit jacket tightly in her hands.

"It's okay, Mac." He reassured her gently, his palm rubbed her back reassuringly. He loved being able to touch her like this.

"No it isn't..." She mumbled emotionally against his neck. "No it isn't."

Harm was able to stop the moan from escaping his lips when he felt her place a kiss against his neck.

"Mac…" he managed to get out. "What…what are you doing?"

She placed an open mouth kiss at his jaw line. "I don't know." She whispered huskily as she continued.

Harm moaned despite his efforts to remain rational. "Mac…we can't…we need to talk about this."

"I'm done talking." Mac breathed as she brought her hands up to his neck and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Kiss me." She whispered breathlessly. "kiss me like you did back there."

"Mac…I want to. God, I want to."

"Then what's stopping you?" she ran a hand down his chest. With that, the control he had so previously had a grasp on escaped him.

He brought a hand up to her neck, brushing his thumb against the softness of her cheek and looking her in the eye before lowering his gaze to her lips. He leaned in, putting his lips on hers and moaning at the contact. She responded immediately wrapping her arms around his neck, as he sought access to her mouth with his tongue. She met his tongue with hers, both of them dueling passionately in a series of moans and pants. He pulled her over onto his lap, her legs coming to rest on either side of his thighs, her dress sliding up a few inches.

She fumbled with his tie, finally dragging it free of the collar of his shirt and starting on the buttons. She broke off contact with his lips, leaning down to kiss his bare skin as she uncovered it.

She pulled the ends of his dress shirt out of his pants, before leaning back on his lap to look at his face. She was met with an intensity that left her feeling vulnerable. Harm's gaze seared through her and she blushed and ducked her head in response. The weight of what was happening hit her in that moment. Jesus Christ. She was on his lap.

To hell with it though… She wanted him. And, wasn't a decade long enough to wait? He watched as her eyes darkened as she leaned in to nip at his jaw line and pulled back.

"Harm." She whispered, searching his eyes for any sign of what he was feeling, as she grabbed one of his hands, bringing it to rest on her breast. "I want you to touch me."

"Jesus, Mac." Harm uttered something resembling a moan as he used his other hand to bring her into a passionate kiss, both out of breath but unwilling to stop. Never in his life had he expected to hear those words come out of her mouth in regards to him. Sure, maybe it had happened once or twice in his dreams. But, the reality…the reality was enough to kill a man. She was so sexy, so devastatingly beautiful…so…Harriet? What the hell?

Had the phone been ringing? He hadn't heard it ring.

"Ma'am, it's me. Harriet. I did something I'm not sure you'll forgive me for anytime soon…and well I debated telling you but I wanted you to be forewarned. Commander Rabb is on his way there…I know, I know. I promised…. I am sorry. Please Ma'am..just…just hear him out. He's not happy with Kim. I know he isn't. I also know how much he cares about you, Ma'am. Well, that's all I really have to say. Again, I'm sorry. Please call me."

The minute Harriet's voice had permeated the space, they had both frozen, both of them meeting the other's gaze, powerless to stop what she might say. At the sound of the beep signaling she had hung up, Mac leaned her face into Harm's chest. She took a few steadying breaths. Harm removed his hands from her as he brought one hand up to run across his face. "Damn it." His voice was raw and a bit angry.

Mac pulled her head away from his chest, looking at him sorrowfully.

"I think you better go. I shouldn't have…" she stumbled over herself. "You were right. This can't be fixed by.....doing whatever it was that we were doing."

Harm nodded, and started to button his shirt back together. She watched, unable to clear the desire from her gaze as she scooted off his lap and sat beside him once more on the couch. She handed him his tie, their fingers brushing and Mac was surprised to find she was missing his hands on her already.

"You need me to drive y--?"

He cut her off softly. "I'll call a cab. I'll just, uh, wait outside."

She nodded slightly, as she watched him cross the room to her door, unlocking it and opening it, glancing back at her for a second before locking the door once more and closing it behind him.

Mac's body crumbled, her face coming to rest against one of her throw pillows as she threw a fist against a cushion.

TBC and let me know what you think please!