Lawandordersvu1: me too! Are you on twitter? There are a bunch of SVU fans on there that talk! E/O all the way and WHOA. DANI BECK UGH shudders. Hated that chick.

Lil-miss-dinozzo: hahahaha Harm Harm look at the light, you oaf. Haha *facepalm FAIL Harm. FAIL. :]

I was not planning on posting this huge chapter now…but I will for you two :]

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Hilton
Harm's Hotel Room

Harm woke at about four in the morning, laying there fitfully and unsuccessfully trying to find rest once again.

He finally gave up, throwing the covers off of his boxer clad body and swinging his legs around until his feet hit the floor by the nightstand. 'How long had that been there?' He wondered as he spotted the blink of the red on the hotel phone. Only a few people knew where he was staying: Mac... and Kim. That was it. 'Wait…had he told the blonde in the bar last night? Had she dropped him off here or had he taken a cab?' He hated that he couldn't remember.

With a deep breath, he pushed the button to listen to the message, all the while knowing whose voice it was that he hoped to hear. Mac's shaky voice filled the silence. He sat closer on the edge of the bed in suspense at hearing her voice. "Harm…it's me, Mac. I'm at the front desk. They won't give out your room number…Hell, I had to twist their arm for them to even dial you up. " She chuckled nervously. "I …I don't know why I'm here…" Mac turned her back on the front desk, careful not to drag the phone cradle down as she did so, continuing in a quiet voice so as to retain some level of privacy. "Harm, where are you? Please pick up….ok, I guess you aren't there…I'm going to go now… but, Harm?" She paused and then continued softly. "Don't go back just yet. "

Harm cursed himself. Why had she come there last night? What had she wanted? He didn't want to waste time finding out. He slipped out of bed quickly, throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt, called a cab and finished getting ready. He was going to go over there.

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Mac's Apartment
San Diego

Mac was woken up to the sound of Harm's voice on the other side of her door. She froze. Was she imagining things? She then heard the unmistakable sound of a knock at her door…and then his voice filled the silence once more.

"Mac…it's Harm. Open up."

She got up from bed quickly, grabbing her silk robe to wrap around her body, as she made her way to the door.

She opened it quickly. "It couldn't wait?" she asked sleepily.

"I just got your message." He walked past her into her apartment, not waiting for an invitation.

She followed him with her gaze, shutting and locking the door behind him. "I left you that message almost six hours ago, Harm."

"I'm sorry."

"Where were you?"

"At a bar around the corner." He sighed, still pissed as hell at having missed her.

"Have fun?" She rubbed a hand over her face, allowing a bit of bitterness to creep into her tone.

"I am sorry, Mac. I wish I had been there. I just needed to clear my head, and sitting around my hotel thinking about you just made things worse."

"Hmm." Mac managed, her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"Who was it that I talked to on the phone?" Her next question caught him off guard.

"What?" He questioned her.

"I tried to call your cell after I left you the message…some girl answered, said you had gone to use the restroom and had left your coat and phone at the bar."

"She never told me anyone had called. She was just some girl I met there…She was sweet enough to listen to me ramble on about you somewhat incoherently for well over an hour...I think she called a cab for me."

"You didn't go home with her?"

"Mac, what the hell?"

Mac's shoulders slumped. "That was out of line. I'm sorry….You…you just make me crazy sometimes."

She walked past him to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Harm followed her, catching up to her as she was reaching up to get a glass. He invaded her space, his arms enveloping her waist and pulling her slightly back against him as she shuddered. His lips came to rest near her ear. "You make me crazy sometimes too." He whispered, before kissing down the curve of her neck as her head fell slightly to the right.

Mac spun in his arms, pressing her back against the kitchen counter, needing some more inches to separate them. "Harm." She searched his face.

"Harm." She tried again. "When are you leaving for DC?"

"Whenever you want me to leave." His gaze held hers.

She sighed. "See, that is where we have a problem." She pushed against his chest, wanting to distance herself from him and using the slack he gave her to walk around him to the sink, glass in hand.

"Problem?" He asked her. His back still turned.

She was quiet, her arms bracing her against the counter. She didn't want him to leave…but she couldn't want him to stay. 'Option A' had to win.

"Harm, I want you to leave." She said quietly.

"Come on Mac, we both know that is complete and utter bull shit."

"Harm…"

"No, Mac. I know what you are doing. You are trying to do the "honorable thing" by making me feel as though you want me to go back to DC and play husband and father to Kim and that baby and that's not your call."

"You wouldn't be the man I loved if you didn't want to be that for her and that baby, Harm. You wouldn't." Her voice cracked with emotion.

"What did you want to tell me last night?" He finally spoke softly into the darkness of her kitchen.

"Don't change the subject."

"Mac…why did you come to see me?" He pressed.

She set the glass on the counter top, turning to lean against it and face him across the kitchen.
She met his gaze and quickly looked away and down at some unknown spot on the floor.

"Like I said in the message…" She started, her voice strained. "I don't know why."

"There was a reason, Mac."

"Not one that makes sense." She finally confessed, so softly he almost couldn't hear her.

"Damn it Mac, why does it have to? Just open up to me…tell me what you were feeling…what led you to come to the hotel?"

"It wasn't rational." She said softly. "I know that…I just. I was afraid that you were going to leave…and after what happened between us the other night especially, I just wanted…" She struggled with the words. She was petrified of verbalizing this to him for fear that it made her look less…too vulnerable.

Harm crossed his arms over his chest, his head cocking to the side as he listened intently. "Wanted what?"

Her voice shook and she exhaled slowly. " I had this overwhelming need to be with you. I wanted to...to find your hotel room number and come crawl into bed with you. Just…just to sleep. " She ran a hand over her face. "I just wanted to feel you against me. To know and to be reassured that you were still here…and not back on a plane headed for DC…" Her vulnerable eyes met his with uncertainty.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." He spoke softly. "I truly am, Mac."

"It's…fine." She half-heartedly shrugged.

Harm shook his head. It wasn't.

"I don't want to go back…" He confessed into the silence.

"I don't want you too either…" she breathed. "…and that makes me a selfish bitch." She smiled painfully.

There was an extended pause, as both stood staring at the other intently

"Harm…you have to go back."

"I know."

"Where does that…leave us?" She asked, her voice shaky at best. "And if you say at the end, I'll kill you."

"As long as you don't say back at the beginning…" he teared up despite his smile.

"No…" she looked down, tears filling her eyes. " I don't want to go back to the beginning. Too much history there... I like having that with you."

"Mac…" he whispered as he came to stand in front of her, his arms wrapping her in his embrace, and he hugged her. "I want more than just a past with you. "

"I want that to." She breathed emotionally, clutching him tightly.

"But?"

"Shhh…no. Let's not talk anymore, please?" She pleaded to him, still holding on to him so tightly her knuckles were white."I just want to make the most of this time with you."

Harm looked past her shoulder, noticing that it was just now barely five am. "Mac…"

She understood without needing the words as she took his hand and led him to the bedroom, slipping back under the covers and waiting for him to join her. He stripped down to just his jeans and peeled back the covers on his side, staring at her softly as he lay on his side and she spooned herself against him, pulling his arm over her hip to rest against her abdomen, and enjoying the closeness the position provided.

"Mac…" He murmured softly into her hair.

"Hmm?" she responded.

"I want you to come back with me."

TBC..Don't forget to review!