A/N: Lil-Miss-DiNozzo78: ha! Thanks for the review as always!

Anothershipper: I love your review so much. Don't worry I love the angst too and I am certainly not going to file things away neatly for them to be together. They need to work it out, struggles and all. :] Thanks for the encouragement to continue that way because a lot of people just want the baby not to be Harm's SO that mac and harm can be together after the news is revealed.

Kelsey2010: Thanks so much! Glad I was able to make your morning happy! Lol and yes, she does have what every woman wants haha. Thanks for your review!! Love it!

Review From chap 18:

now see Harm if you weren't drowning your problems at a bar you coulda had what you wanted last night!

^hahaha this made me LOL. Thanks!

Alix33: haha. Yeah, me too. :] Love your reviews.

And because I am in love with your review from chapter 18, LOL

'How long had that been there?' He wondered as he spotted the blink of the red on the hotel phone." - LONG, hon. Mac will be able to tell you to the second, probably the millisecond even, how long, though. I do not have those skills.

"Who was it that I talked to on the phone?" Her next question caught him off guard. "What?" He questioned her. "I tried to call your cell after I left you the message…some girl answered, said you had gone to use the restroom and had left your coat and phone at the bar." "She never told me anyone had called. She was just some girl I met there…She was sweet enough to listen to me ramble on about you somewhat incoherently for well over an hour...I think she called a cab for me." - THAT is SO funny and SO Harm.
"I want you to come back with me." - THAT will be a train smash, plane smash, and altogether potentially catastrophic, IMO.

Hahaha so I loved your whole review and yes train smash plane smash and catastrophic for sure. :] Love when people pick out parts they liked!

Lawandordersvu1: More on the way :] thanks!

Kiely: Thank you so much! Hope I continue to do so!

From chap. 18:

oh wow... ok I am torn, I want her to go back, but it's also not fair to Mac to watch someone else have the baby she wants to give Harm.

^so true. :] I agree.

KDW: aww, love Harriet. Thanks for the review!

AND NOW FOR THE STORY!

Mac's Apartment

San Diego

Mac came over to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her hands together, as she cautiously glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Harm." Her gaze found the floor. "I need you to know that I'm not sure we can get past this. It's important that you know that."

Harm started to speak, but she continued on before he could. "I am not saying it's right...or that I can blame you...but it is what it is." She took a deep breath.

"Why can't we get past it, Mac?"

Mac's hair fell across her shoulder as she turned her head to look at him. Her eyes searched his in the silence, as she struggled for the words she needed.

A car alarm sounded somewhere in the distance on the street below. The darkness threw shadows across the wall of the bedroom.

Harm took a deep breath. "Talk to me." He breathed softly.

Mac bit her lip nervously, before speaking.

"Ultrasounds, birthing classes, baby's first smile, baby's first step...all those "first" moments…they will be with her. Harm, I wanted them to be with me. Our baby. Our life. Our moments."

She smiled sadly. "...and maybe that's stupid of me...because we hadn't exactly made plans to be together at all let alone in that capacity. But, the image was always there...in the back of my mind. We would be a family."

Harm reached for her right hand, carefully grasping it in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He shook his head gently. "It wasn't stupid, Mac."

"Then why do I feel so foolish?"

"Hey." Harm replied. "If anyone should feel foolish it's me. I did this Mac. It was a moment of weakness. I regret it. I..." He faltered. " wanted those moments to be with you too."

She covered the hand that was holding hers already with her available hand, giving his a gentle squeeze.

He turned his body towards her, removing his hand from her grasp and bringing it to her hair as he brushed it gently behind her ear, before tracing her cheek with his touch. He ran a thumb lightly over her lips. Mac closed her eyes at the sensation. Before she knew what was happening, he had replaced the thumb with his mouth, kissing her soft and slow. They were both tentative and it wasn't until a few moments later that Harm nudged her lips apart gently and deepened the contact. A soft moan was her only reply. She explored his mouth as well, the kiss slow and sensuous. Harm ached with the need to make love to her. But, he had over the years become quite used to folding those feelings away and sticking them in a drawer to be picked up at a later time. When the time was right…the time had almost been right when she had found her way onto his lap the night before. Almost. But, they had some stuff to figure out first.

Harm pulled away slightly, his hand in her hair and resting at the back of her neck.

"I love you, Mac."

She exhaled. "and I love you…but maybe it's not enough."

"Don't talk like that, Mac."

"How should I be talking, Harm? What did we think would happen? That the moment we decided to be together everything would magically work itself out? Communicating with you like this…telling you things…you opening up to me. This is new. This is all new. I am unsure how to play this, Harm. I don't want to lose what we have…and isn't that worth fighting for? Our friendship means a lot to me Harm. More than any relationship I've ever had with a man or…or anyone. Why can't that be enough?"

"Mac…we passed the friendship exit many many years ago." He smiled coyly at her. "And, if not before, I'm pretty sure it happened right around the time you straddled me and –"

She smiled at that, blushing as she smacked him in the chest to stop him from continuing, the action making her suddenly aware of the bare chest under her hand.

"We can't go back…our friendship is what makes our relationship great. Sure, I may not do or say the right thing all the time, but I can make you happy Mac. Just let me. You are making this more complicated than it has to be."

"You make complicated things too simple." Mac teased sadly, throwing his words from that fateful night on the Admiral's porch back in his face.

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Roberts' Residence
Virginia

Harriet was rigorously scrubbing away at some imaginary grimy spot on the kitchen counter when Bud found her. In the years since he had known his wife, he had acquired certain knowledge. He knew how to read her. In the early years of their marriage he might have been foolish enough to believe she really was trying to remove some sort of stain or grime from the kitchen counter. Several years and several children later, Bud knew better.

He approached her apprehensively. After all, her behavior could have possibly resulted from something he did or didn't do—best to tread lightly.

"Hey honey…" He smiled warmly. "Rough day?"

"Yeah, sure…" Harriet replied distractedly as she continued to scrub vigorously at the counter.

"Honey?" he attempted to get her attention.

"Hmm?" She slowed her pace a bit.

"Is something wrong?"

She frowned. "I don't know, Bud. I…I learned something today that may be important…or may not be..."

"Honey, calm down. What's going on?"

Harriet continued to scrub, casting him a glance before continuing on in a ramble.

"Well, Bud…what if you learned something that could be huge and change things or….possibly not change anything and just upset things worse than they already are and then you've shared something that you shouldn't have known in the first place and is really none of your business only to make things worse but if you don't tell then this important information that needs to be delved into is just left hidden and could possibly change the lives of people you care about and you just aren't sure what risk is worth taking and what to do and what will happen or if—"

Harriet looked up to see Bud's very confused expression.

"Oh never mind, Bud." She said sighing agitatedly, throwing her sponge in the sink and turning and walking out of the room.

TBC……..Please Review!