Disclaimer: I don't own anything I'm writing about.
Team Free Will: Reunion
Last chapter (will add epilogue). Thanks for reading and reviewing! This story is actually the first I've EVER written outside of grade school homework assignments - a decade ago (O_o) - and is the result of being without internet for 9 whole days.
SATURDAY NIGHT
"Just look at you. Hard to believe you're the guy who saved the world once," Lucifer sighs with satisfaction and starts blowing bubbles.
Sam just lies on his side, staring at the padded wall. He's too drugged out and tired to want to sit up, and with his arms strapped to his chest, he doubts he even has the strength to lift himself anyway.
"Come on, Sam. Talk to me, it's not like you have anything else to do! You gotta admit, that little trip down memory lane was brilliant, wasn't it? You know you were talking to an actual shrink? I think you made his year with that little performance..."
Lucifer keeps talking, but Sam tunes it out. He can't even muster the energy to feel embarrassed for trying to rip his own heart out. So this is how my life ends... This is fucking pathetic. He remembers it all now: being thrown into the later years of the Cage when Lucifer decided to stop the torture...
Sam had never been more unstable. All too suddenly, no monsters came at him, nothing dug into him, or burned him, or ate him, so he started tearing himself apart. It took a year for him to get used to existing without pain, to start appreciating the lack of it, before the torture returned. Whenever he accidentally made it clear he liked something, Satan would take it away.
Lucifer pouts and puts himself in Sam's line of sight. "Fine, if you're going to ignore me like that, we're going back to the pit. Any particular decade you'd like to relive?"
But Sam is too tired... too done with everything to care. This could be it. My last sane moment... His throat burns as he thinks of Dean: the only person he is leaving behind... The only person who loves him, who will even miss him... who is currently awaiting execution because of him.
I'm the reason for this... It's my fault... It's always my fault. I got Mom killed, Dad went to Hell because I couldn't kill him, and Dean went to Hell because I couldn't kill Jake. I started the Apocalypse, I jumped into the Cage and left Dean alone, I let him get turned - Sam's eyes water - and now I've gotten him locked in isolation while I lie here and die on him again... All I ever do is hurt him...
Dean will stupidly blame himself for this, for failing to be the perfect big brother. And this time, he doesn't even have Bobby or his angel to fall back on. All he has is his little brother... and that little brother is leaving.
"Do you need another minute to torture yourself? 'Cuz I'm totally loving the tears there, buddy," Lucifer laughs.
Sam glares back, defiant to the end. He has to do something... but really, what is there to do? Pray? God doesn't give a shit about him, He apparently said so... But there was one angel who did...
"Castiel!" he coughs through a dry throat, "It's Sam... If you're alive... even if you're not... please just look out for Dean. He needs you, man. I screwed up... again. So you have to be there for him, okay? Like last time... and the time before that... I won't blame you for knocking my Hell Wall down... or for opening Purgatory. You thought you were doing the right thing, and I know what it's like for that to blow up in your face... I'll forgive you, Cas." Sam closes his eyes. See you soon, Dean. I'm sorry...
Lucifer cracks his knuckles. "Ready to go then? Any more dead angels you wanna pray to?" - he pauses expectantly, clearly enjoying himself - "No? Alright, please keep your arms and legs inside the straightjacket!" He snaps his fingers, and Sam is gone.
Dean slumps against the door of his cell, exhausted. His hands are bloody but he keeps punching, and his throat is torn but he keeps talking. All he has left is the slim chance he can get through to the real Cas. To get him to remember what he did, and not fly away out of guilt.
Dean Winchester never grovels, but he's groveling now. "Cas, please... you need to help Sam... You can leave me here, just please get Sam... He doesn't deserve any of this... but you're right, okay? I do... I've failed everything I've ever cared about... Just... fix my little brother... 'cuz I can't..."
Emmanuel topples to the lobby floor and presses his hands to his ears as the brothers' voices hit him simultaneously. The torment behind the words collide in his head and it literally knocks him off his feet.
Dean and Sam Winchester: each utterly defeated and praying for this Castiel to save not themselves, but each other... and both so wracked with guilt... how could they possibly be the monsters the world thinks they are?
And then Castiel remembers... everything. Millions upon millions of years of memories press into his mind all at once, and he screams as the sheer volume of knowledge and experiences seem to expand his vessel's brain beyond the boundaries of his skull. Glass doors shatter around him in response, several people in the lobby shriek and cower, and then it's over as quickly as it came.
Cas lies motionless on the floor as he remembers the horrible things he did on Earth, in Heaven, and to the Winchesters, all fight for his attention. He murdered humans, and countless angels... He turned his back on Dean, drove Sam insane, and then left them with God's first and worst creations.
Father... what have I done...? His face contorts in horror. Did you bring me back again...? Why!?
Sam and Dean's desperate prayers enter the forefront of his mind. Sam... He closes his eyes and wants nothing more than to die. Sam Winchester: the boy with the demon blood who was supposed to bring the end of the world and instead saved it, is broken and dying because I thought it would make a good distraction for Dean...
Cas curls in on himself and pulls at his hair. And Sam... forgives me? How could he possibly... And Dean... He crumples even further under the guilt. I will never be forgiven. I should never be forgiven... Is this why you brought me back, Father? To feel this?
After a moment the initial shock wears off, and he hears Dean's fading prayer. Cas fights to pull himself together somewhat, and climbs to his feet. Or do you... expect me to fix it?
The people in the lobby stare at him fearfully, and a prison guard comes running around the corner. "Hey, what happened? Is everyone oka-" he stops and places a hand on his baton when he notices all eyes fixed on Cas, who stands relatively calm in the centre of the room. "Sir? Are you responsible for this?"
"Yes," he replies sadly, and vanishes.
Straightjacket... padded room... How original, Sam thinks darkly. Although, after 67 years of torture, there has to be some repeats by now.
Lucifer pops into the room, looking distraught. "I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I'm here to make it right," he steps closer with an arm outstretched.
Sam recoils into the corner. What the hell? But... I'm not dead yet... What is he doing? Lucifer only ever touches him to bring him back to life... or to...
Sam's heart almost stops. "No! Get the fuck away from me! I don't want you to... I will NEVER want you to!"
Lucifer takes a step back, feigning confusion and hurt. "But... I did this. I can fix you."
"I'm not broken! Please... don't. Not again..." Sam can't help but plead: this is the only situation in which he will plead.
Lucifer looks completely lost, and for whatever reason, disappears.
Dean is now unabashedly sobbing. It's not like anybody will care anyway. To have Cas back... to be given hope and then ignored and betrayed again... It's enough to break him.
Suddenly, a very dim light shines behind him and a hand rests on his shoulder. He startles and turns to see a slightly glowing Cas standing in the middle of the cell.
Dean doesn't move or speak. He doesn't need to. Cas' expression says it all: it is fearful, and sad, and trusting, and... puzzled. This is the real Castiel.
Dean can't help it. He struggles to his feet and throws his arms around the angel, surprising them both, but he is just so fucking relieved. Cas doesn't seem to know how to respond, and just stiffens under the embrace... It's awkward, but Dean doesn't care: he's not somebody who handles being alone all that well.
He releases Cas after a moment, and before he can find his tongue, Cas takes Dean's hands in his own and mends his would-have-been-permanently-disfigured knuckles, his throat, his aching head, and the graze on his side. "I went to Sam first," the angel says in his gravel-voice. "He won't let me heal him. He is adamant that he's already whole."
Dean lets out a watery chuckle and flexes his knuckles experimentally. "Of course he is. Who knows what's going through his head? He probably thinks you're a clown. Take me to him."
Cas places a hand on Dean's shoulder again and their feet instantly sink into the cushioned floor: they're in a padded room.
Aw, Sammy... Dean's gut twists as he lays eyes on the sight he's been dreading ever since he made a deal with Death: his trembling little brother in a straightjacket. He's curled into the far corner of the room, knees up and hiding behind them.
"We won't be seen or heard. No one will interrupt," Cas says quietly and backs up a bit to give them some space.
"Sammy? Hey, it's me..." Dean moves forward cautiously, knowing Sam won't believe him. "I don't know what you're seeing... but this is Cas and he's going to fix you, okay? Just let him."
Sam lifts bloodshot eyes to Dean in shock, and then glares at Cas. "You brought... you want... Him to watch? You twisted fuck!" he screeches and somehow presses himself into the corner even further.
Heart already broken, Dean turns away. "Do it, Cas. He's not home. Don't feel bad, just make it quick."
He clenches his jaw as he hears Sam whimper in terror, "Please... Lucifer... Dean, STOP HIM!" After a moment, there is a light and Dean plucks up the courage to look.
Cas has a glowing hand on Sam's forehead, who has his eyes shut tight. The bags under his eyes disappear and his pale skin gets some colour back as the visible effects of sleep deprivation vanish. Cas removes his hand.
"Did it work?" Dean asks breathlessly, already believing it.
Cas looks troubled. "No... The only thing I can do is put the Wall back together... but there's nothing left to rebuild. It crumbled... The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever's happening inside his head right now."
"What?" Dean's voice breaks. "You're saying there's nothing? He's gonna be like this until his candle blows out?"
"I'm sorry. This isn't a problem I can make disappear. You know that."
Sam reminds them he's still there, "Wha... what the fuck kind of torture is this?" he asks incredulously.
Dean twitches a sad smile. Even in the Cage talking to Lucifer, he still rocks the bitch-face.
And then Sam jerks and looks up at them with relief, "Dean! Cas? Is that you?"
"Sam? You with us for real?" Dean doesn't get his hopes up this time.
"Yeah, Lucifer could only screw with me because I had no sleep... I feel fine now. Thanks Cas!" Sam is speaking awfully loud and has happy tears in his eyes.
"Woah now, don't get too excited," Dean smirks slightly.
"Sorry, what?" Sam yells, "I can't hear you! Lucifer is yelling in my ear. He's totally pissed off he has to start all over again." He is looking way too okay with that.
The smirk slides off Dean's face and he glances at Cas, who is staring at his feet.
An alarm starts blaring outside the cell. They must have just noticed I'm gone. Dean clears his throat. "Cas? we still need to get out of here. Zap us to Rufus' cabin. Whitefish, Montana. Has a raised back deck, two stories, big gnarly tree next to it."
After a few seconds, Cas looks up and his face is set. He puts a hand on Dean's shoulder and the other on Sam's, who visibly flinches at the contact.
Cas grimaces as a relatively sane Sam cringes away from his touch. I'm supposed to be an angel... I should not instill fear in my friends... And Sam even thanked him. All I did was extend his life by a few more days. His memories of the Cage will continue to eat at him... and he thanked me.
The trio appear in a rundown cabin in the middle of nowhere. Coming to a decision, Cas looks around. "Where are all of your things? And your car? It's not outside." I imagine I won't be of much help after tonight...
Dean runs to the fridge and grabs himself a beer, cracks it open and chugs it before tossing another to Sam, who grins appreciatively and sinks into the red couch.
After his bottle is empty - in a matter of seconds - Dean responds cagily, "Algona, Iowa. Bags are in an empty house's kitchen cupboards. Just North of the Burr Oak Motel."
Sam takes a hesitant sip of his own beer and adds, "We aren't using the Impala."
Cas takes off, grabs the bags, and returns just as Dean gets himself another beer. He's drinking more, Cas thinks morosely as he drops their things on the cluttered coffee table.
Dean says nothing as he starts rummaging through his duffel, making sure everything is there as Sam does the same.
There is an awkward silence.
Then Dean sighs appreciatively as he picks up Bobby's flask and swallows most of the contents. Sam frowns but doesn't say anything.
Cas startles and glues his eyes to the flask with sudden sadness: he can sense a familiar and weak spirit clinging to it... He died? And still chose to remain with them... He's a better man than I.
He takes a deep breath and tries to break the silence. "I'm uhh, sorry... about Bobby."
He fails. The brothers only look more miserable.
Cas tries again. "Sam... Dean... I don't expect or deserve your forgiveness, but I am going to make this right."
Sam glances up at him with a tiny smile, but then jumps as Dean slams the flask down on the counter and glares at Cas with disgust. "You just said you can't fix him. You can't make this right!"
Barely able to maintain eye contact, Cas replies, "I can't get rid of Sam's psychosis, but I may be able to shift it."
Dean blinks in confusion - clearly waiting for him to elaborate - but Cas can't look at him anymore. He turns to Sam on the couch. "Sam, this may hurt. And if I can't tell you again, I'm sorry I ever did this to you."
Sam's eyes widen, lets out a startled, "Wha-" and almost pulls away as Cas presses a palm against his forehead once again.
Cas lowers his head. "I'll be fine." He doesn't want to meet their enraged and/or fearful expressions as he says it.
Dean almost jumps between them this time as he hears Sam's strangled scream. What the hell is he doing to him now!? But he stops as bright red veins of light to travel through Sam's eyes, into the hand on his head, and eventually reach into Cas' own eyes.
The light fades after a moment and Sam shoots off the couch with a harsh intake of breath, just as the angel collapses to the floor. "Cas!" Sam cries, and lifts him up, shaking him. "What did you do?" he turns to Dean, beseeching, "What did he do?"
Dean just stares at them, open mouthed. "I think he took Lucifer out of your head... Did he take Lucifer out of your head?"
Sam looks frantically around the cabin. "He's gone... Dean... he's gone!" He practically drops Cas back on the floor in his search.
Dean crouches and puts a wary hand on his panicked brother, trying to ground him. "Sam, what's wrong? This is a good thing, right?"
Sam looks at him then, swallowing convulsively. "Yeah. It's just... ever since Detroit he's been... and now..."
Dean feels like he's been kicked in the gut. He's... missing Lucifer? "Don't Stockholm syndrome on me, okay? It's Satan, Sam!" He can't keep the fear out of his voice.
Shaking beneath his grip, Sam keeps looking around the room, so Dean slaps him across face on impulse. "Hey! Look at me. You're fine! He was killing you!"
The hit seems to get Sam's attention and he makes brief eye contact, before slamming his head into Dean's chest and breaks down sobbing.
Startled and more than a little sick to his stomach, Dean wraps his brother in a tight hug. Aw Sammy... What the fuck did Lucifer do to you?
After a minute or two, the sobbing stops and Sam seems to get himself back under control. He pulls away, looking puffy-eyed and utterly shell-shocked towards Cas. "What do you think's happening to him? He's an angel after all... If he's... nuts now, he could do a lot of damage."
Immensely grateful for the change of subject, Dean stands and says, "He did say he'd be fine... C'mon, help me lift him. Or wait... Your leg still busted?"
Sam shakes his head, and says quietly, "He fixed everything..."
"Not everything," Dean grumbles as they drop Comatose-Cas on the couch. Then he straightens and takes spray paint out of his bag. "If he doesn't wake up in the near future, we go and he stays. We put up extra protection on the house, and we lock him in... We can't exactly take him with us."
"You want to leave him alone like this?" Sam asks disbelieving. "Dean, if it's anything like what I-"
Dean interrupts with a raised hand. Of course I don't want to... "We'll leave him a phone and our numbers, okay? We'll come back as soon as he's up. When word gets out about how we escaped we'll be back on Crowley's radar... We can't protect him... Not really. This is safer."
Sam huffs humourlessly. "What is safe? We didn't fake our deaths this time. We'll be back on the top of America's Most Wanted by morning. How can we even go out in public?"
Oh fuck... Forgot about that... Dean starts pacing in frustration. "We had cameras on us and we just vanished, right?... Maybe they'll cover it up..." Or maybe Dick Roman will drop dead of a heart attack...
TUESDAY MORNING
Sam stands in the living room, frowning as he watches Cas' face twitch. It's been more than two days and he still hasn't woken. They can't wait around anymore.
Dean sighs as he finishes adding the extra Enochian symbols to the walls. Now angels are not only locked out of the cabin, but any currently inside are trapped and relatively powerless.
Sam throws the packed duffel over his shoulder. It's way too quiet in here... The lack of laughing and singing and taunting has Sam feeling a bittersweet emptiness. He never expected to get away from Lucifer, and now that he has, he is honestly both ecstatic and heartbroken. Ecstatic because he can finally eat without wanting to throw up, and sleep comes almost easily; heartbroken because he spent a few lifetimes with Lucifer, and now he's gone... The grief leaves Sam thinking Cas managed to take some of his sanity as well as his Hell.
And why did he do that? Sam wonders for the hundredth time. The angel has never shown much affection for him, outright calling him an abomination at times; yet here he is, suffering Sam's horrors. He did it because he's guilty... He screwed up and broke the world. He probably wanted to die. Sam knows that feeling well, and he had already forgiven Cas. Never really blamed him in the first place, actually.
Dean however, seems to be having a hard time with the whole thing, and has put up the walls that not even Sam can crack. He snorts derisively at the news on TV before flicking it off, then drops a cell phone and note on the coffee table.
Sam smiles at the blank screen. "Cas helped us more than he knows."
Dean's mouth twitches. "Great. I'm glad some good came out of the murderous rampage he went on... We need new phones. We're down to one now," he adds mechanically.
Sam nods absently. "Hey, Dean?" - he pauses to put his thoughts together - "I know you're pissed... but he's our frie-"
"We don't have friends. All our friends are dead." Dean scowls and rams the spray paint -among other things - into his bag.
Sam is about to try and voice his complaints again, but stops as Dean tosses something at Cas, still wearing the scowl.
Having no idea that Dean kept it all this time, Sam grins as the filthy and stained trench coat blankets the angel once more.
The angry expression on Dean's face makes it look like he's throwing away their relationship, but Sam knows better: he is offering Cas a reluctant thank you, and the chance to try again.
Dean's features eventually soften and he looks up. "Let's hit the road, Sammy." His tone is not happy exactly, but it's the lightest it's been in a long time.
'Team Free Will' just might be getting back together.
Epilogue to come!
I wanted it to fit roughly into the actual storyline, and to me locking Cas in the cabin makes a LOT more sense than leaving him in a mental hospital where he could just up and go anywhere and do anything the second he woke up. They had no way of knowing how crazy he would be!
Since in 7x21 they all end up at the cabin anyway, I figured it fit nicely. Lets say Cas wakes up because of the tablet and calls them, they run into Meg on their way back, and Kevin uses his tablet-finding-prophet-powers to follow them. The end.