While at this point I objectively knew that the woman in front of me was not my former lover from England and was most likely Troper's version of Rin, It was still hard for me not to feel both happiness and heartache at seeing her. Granted, the feeling was tempered by the barely restrained humor I was feeling as she looked like she had just walked out of a children's anime, but it was still there. As my brain began to sluggishly turn itself back on from the shock of seeing her, part of it idly wondered if other people went through the kind of troubles I had in their relationships: boy meets heroic spirit, boy loves heroic spirit, boy loses heroic spirit, boy meets magus, boy loves magus, heroic spirit comes back, magus makes both spirit and boy part of her harem, boy loses both magus and heroic spirit due to amoral organization, boy accidentally marries several aliens, boy meets alternate dimensional counterpart of said magus. It seemed unlikely.

However, my musings were cut short when I finally remembered that there was irate Magical Girl in front of me waving a stick at my face. "Guh… I'm not the Shirou you're looking for."

"Oh don't you try that crap with me!" She said. "As far as I'm concerned, I…" she trailed off and blinked in confusion. She then leaned forward, her eyes narrowing as she studied me intently. "Wait, your right, you're not my Shirou. Your aura is slightly off…" Rin then turned her angry glare away from me to the wand she was holding. "You stupid piece of junk! You tracked the wrong one! We're probably not even in the right universe!"

Before I could correct her and tell her about Troper, I was surprised to hear the wand speak up on its own behalf. "Bah! How dare you question my competence! Of course we're in the right universe! In fact, we're within a few dozen feet of him. It's not my fault you mistook the native Shirou for your own."

"Oh come on!" Rin exclaimed "Don't you know how improbable it would be that he would just happen to be in the same area as…" she again trailed off mid-sentence and blinked. This was followed by her palming her face and groaning. "It's Shirou we're talking about. Of course something like this would happen against all laws of probability."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure Zelretch set things up so that the two of us would meet." I said as I finally managed to get a word in edgewise.

She looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you actually know what I'm talking about?" I nodded. "And you know who Zelretch is?" I nodded again. "And you know where my Shirou is?" I nodded a third time, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank the Root. That will save so much time. Now tell me where he is so I can get this damn costume off."

"He's staying with me in the inn." I said, motioning behind myself as best I could with my hands full of groceries. "Here, I'll show you." As we began walking down the path towards the house, a thought occurred to me. "Hey, why do you need his help to get your costume off? And while we're on the topic, why are you-"

"None of your damn business!" She shouted at me, her face turning bright red.

As I knew better then to laugh at any version of Rin that was embarrassed, I took care to hide my chuckles as we walked into the Izumo House. "I'm home! Troper! I found your Rin!" I called out. I heard a great deal of ruckus coming from the kitchen, so the two of us made our way there. Just as we entered the kitchen, I suddenly thought Wait, didn't Troper say something about almost always being found in a compromising situation every time Rin found him? I was about to suggest that Rin wait in the hall, but by then it was too late because she laid eyes on...

We both stopped near the doorway, dumbstruck at the utterly bizarre and rather inappropriate sight in front of us. Troper, Musubi, Matsu, Tsukiumi, and Kusano were all piled up on the kitchen table, wrapped in thick vines that were likely of Kuu-chan's make. This would have been strange enough, but the way they were stacked made it so Troper was sandwiched between Musubi and Matsu, his head almost completely obscured by their cleavage, with Tsukiumi on top of Mastu and Kuu-chan on top of everyone.

"Mmmphmphpmmph!" he exclaimed as squirmed about, trying to get his face out of Musubi's ample bosom.

My shock was broken by an old yet familiar sense of doom. Looking to my side, I found that Rin had suddenly become far more terrifying-looking then should rightfully be allowed in such an outfit. "Shir-ou!" she slowly ground out.

Troper stopped squirming for a moment, frozen like a small animal that had just heard roar of a predator. He then managed to angle his head so that he could see us. "Mmm!" His mouth was still buried in bosom, so he couldn't say anything coherent. His eyes darted around for a second before looking back at Rin. "Mh Mph Mpph Mh Mphph Mphh!"

However, I didn't words to understand what he just said.

"And what is it supposed to look like?" It seems Rin had been around him long enough to get his general meaning too. Although, if this had happened as often as Troper implied, the two of them could probably predict each other's responses at this point.

"Mmmm… Mm mphmpmph?"

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "I don't believe you."

He rolled his eyes and gave Rin a look. "Mmphmh? Mph mmmh mrph mmmm mrh mmphph mm mp mphm mp mphph? Mmmrph mm mumps mrphmm mppmm mm mrphmm?"

She strode over to the entangled pile of people, shaking the wand at Troper. "That doesn't mean it's not what it looks like this time… whatever that may be. This doesn't happen to normal people, you know. By the Root, with all the madness you've caused since I've met you, I've never ended up like this."

Troper arched an eyebrow at this. "Mm? Mrph mmphh mrmm mmmm mp mph mmpph mrrm mmh mphph mpmph mphmrphm mmmmrph mphrmm?"

At this, Rin began blushing a luminescent red. She stuttered "Ho-how was I suppose to know that they could switch genders?" Finding herself backed into a corner, it was at this point Rin decided to fall back on the classic tsundere response: physical violence. With a growl of frustration, she began belting him in the head with her wand, yelling "Stupid Shirou! You leave me alone for over month, make me use this stupid stick to find you, and I end up finding you head first in-between some cow-chested bimbos? Aaaargh!" I don't think she was actually hurting him though, as the noise the wand made when it hit him sounded an awful lot like a squeaky mallet. He just looked more annoyed than anything else.

"Ara ara, what's all this ruckus?" talking my eyes away from the ensuing madness, I turned around and saw Miya entering the kitchen, her eyes opening from their normally crinkled state in bemusement.

I was about to try to explain the situation involving my alternate dimension counterpart, his Magical Girl lover currently hitting him in the face with her wand, the mass of vines and the busty alien females, when I stopped and said. "You know what? I'm done for today. I'm going to bed." And with that I walked out of the kitchen to my room, hoping that when I woke up things would make sense again.

Just before I was out of earshot, I managed to hear Miya say "It seems I must remind you that violence and lewd acts are forbidden Izumo House…" along with the terrified screams of everyone else left in the kitchen.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't get to sleep. I'm just not the kind of person who can take naps whenever he wants when he has a schedule he's been following for several weeks. Sure, I could force my body to do what I wanted in a pinch, but I really didn't feel like forcing myself unconscious just to get away from the absurdity in the kitchen. At some point Akitsu came in to join me, probably to escape the madness herself. We ended up laying on the futon for an hour; enjoying one of the few quite moments life afforded me these days.

I got up once I assumed a reasonable amount of time had passed for everything to die down, and the ice Sekirei and I walked into the hallway. By the smell of things, dinner was well underway, if not already done. I began to walk down the hall to investigate this, but I stopped near Troper's room when I heard voices. It sounded like Troper and Rin.

I'm not sure why I did it, but I Reinforced my hearing to listen in. Considering how mad I had been at Matsu for prying into my past, it was pretty hypocritical for me to start ease dropping on my counterpart's most likely private conversation. I would try to justify it to myself later, part of me telling myself that I was making sure that they really were who they said they were. Another part of me said that I was just being immensely curious. A third part which I shut away quickly said that I just wanted to hear Rin's voice again.

"…Annnnnd done." I heard Troper say after my hearing was enhanced. "All the locks on the Kaleidostick are back in place." A sigh. "You really used it so soon? I think this is the fastest you've ever found me."

I heard a familiar sounding huff. "Since coming to a new dimension, yes. But Zeltretch been throwing you around the multiverse nearly non-stop. I haven't had certain… needs met for over a month." I could guess what needs she was referring to.

"Well, as much I would like to help in that regard, you've met the landlady. She won't stand for anything of the sort happening under her roof."

"Well, sure, I wouldn't want… whatever the hell happened in the kitchen to happen again either, but-"

Troper interrupted her "No, I mean ANYthing of the sort. There are about five women living here with rather active libidos who want in my counterpart's pants, but as far as I know his chastity remains intact in no small part thanks to her." I hadn't told him how I had winged Akistu as I didn't think it necessary to reveal that particular bit of information, but otherwise he was fairly accurate.

"What?" she squawked in surprise. "W-well, we'll just stay somewhere else tonight!"

"Do you have any legal tender on you?" Troper asked. I could almost hear Rin's shoulders slump. "That's what I thought."

"That settles it." She said, her voice now resolute. "We're leaving this universe tonight!"

There was a brief pause before Troper spoke up. "Actually… I was thinking we should stay for a bit."

"Eh? Why?"

"Well, this dimension's Shirou is in a bit of trouble, and I was thinking-"

"No."

Rin's interruption was so soft I almost didn't hear it. "What?" I heard Troper say in surprise.

"I. Said. NO!" she said at much louder volume. Her tone had shifted as well, from her previous one of annoyance to outright anger. "Root damn it, Shirou! You always do this! You always get involved when you should just move on and let someone deal with their own problems!"

Troper's voice hardened a bit "I can't just let someone in trouble suffer. You should know that by now."

"Of course I know that! That's one of the reasons I love you, stupid!" I was a bit thrown off by this angry declaration of love, but I didn't have time to think about it. "But, you can't keep doing this! We always run into someone needs your help, and you always nearly kill yourself giving it to them!"

"We live dangerous lives Rin. We both knew the risks when we accepted Zelretch offer."

"Yes, but you know damn well that playing savoir across the multiverse wasn't the reason we accepted it! We have our own problems to take care off!"

"Everyone deserves a Happy Ending."

"What about Saber's happy ending?" I was so surprised by this I almost didn't notice that tone had become upset. "I'm not the only one who needs you. She's waiting for us. She doesn't know it, but she's waiting for us. And I can't do this without you…" I heard a sniffle and a small whimper. "Damn it, I miss her so much…"

Troper's voice became comforting. "So do I. We'll find her Rin. I swear we'll find her." The sounds come from the room were just unintelligible whispers after that.

I stepped away from the door, felling somewhat ashamed of listening in on such a moment. As I turned back toward the kitchen, I made a note to myself to see if I could get Matsu to delete the recording from the camera's undoubtedly hidden in their room. My progress was blocked by Miya however, who had apparently snuck up behind me while I was listening to the conversation. "Ah, Emiya-kun, you should know better than to listen to a conversation between two lovers." She chastised, her eyes narrowing.

"Sorry Miya." I said, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. "I… was just trying to make sure they were alight." Her continued stare indicated that she didn't believe my weak excuse one bit, so I tried changing the subject. "So, is dinner ready?"

Miya relaxed her gaze a bit. "Yes. After the… incident in the kitchen, I had Troper-kun send his companion to his room while he helped me get started. It wasn't until about 30 minutes later that I sent him away. I was just coming to tell them that everything was ready, though it seems that they may need some more time to themselves."

I was about to thank Miya for her consideration when I heard a moan from Rin coming from Troper's room. It was easy to tell that it wasn't a moan caused by exhaustion or frustration.

Miya eyes narrowed again, this time at the door. "On the other hand it would be a shame if dinner got cold…" With that she brushed passed me and opened the door. I couldn't see into the room from where I was in the hallway, but I did hear a pair of startled screams ring out. "Ara ara, what's this?" With that, darkness began to gather around the landlady.

Just before the hannya mask formed, I heard "Ah…" Turning to Akitsu, it was apparent that she had a clear view of the room from where she was standing and she was looking in with great curiosity. "I liked that."