A/N - Sorry for the long update time! I actually forgot about this story...But I'm back with it now!
He sent her out more and more, each mission more dangerous than the last. She always came home. She never complained. Ever. Each time he prepared for the cyborg, each time he was disappointed. What if something had changed? What if they didn't take her? What if he was doomed to live with that failure? What if he could never make it right? Would he remain happy with Allison knowing that Allison was all she would ever be?
It kept him up at night, as if he needed something else to keep him up. He paced endlessly, night after night, plotting the death of the young woman who slept in his bed, who trusted him, who loved him.
Did he trust her? To an extent. Did he love her? He sighed, running his hands through his shortened hair. As much as he could. Was he using her? He had to admit that he was, that he always had been. She was just a tool to get back what he lost in one way or another. Though weren't they all just tools, weapons, pawns? The thought did not sit well with him.
He strode into the room where Allison was curled up under a threadbare blanket on the worn out mattress, sinking down beside her and shaking her awake.
Her eyes flew open and she lurched upright, groping around for a weapon.
"Has there been a breach?"
"No."
She regarded him quizzically.
"Come here," he ordered, extending his arms.
She went to him and he wrapped his arms around her, tangling his fingers in her hair and tilting her face up for a kiss.
"John?"
"Shh," he whispered, pushing her back and leaning over her. His hands skimmed along her body and she opened herself to him as she always did, letting him find a release in her.
Afterwards they lay facing each other, legs intertwined, his head pressed to her chest.
"Allison?"
"Mm?"
"I love you."
Her fingers that were trailing idly through his short cropped hair stilled.
"I know," she breathed. A moment later. "Thank you, for finally saying it."
He did not respond but pressed closer to her, breathing in her scent.