Homura sat in the dining room of the Izumo House, reading and scratching his chest a little more nervously than usual. He was doing his best not to think about the… indignities he had to suffer at the whims of that damn stick which dressed him up like a pre-teen girl a few days ago when Matsu came into the room with her tablet, muttering to herself as she poured over something.

"Stupid… stupid…poorly written…no sense of causality… stupid… ok, that one's kinda hot…"

Homura sighed and turned to her. "What are you muttering about?" he asked, trying to latch onto something else that would take his mind off incredibly frilly mini-skirts.

"It just doesn't make any sense!" Matsu exclaimed. When Homura looked at her in confusion she continued. "Remember how Troper!Shirou-tan said that anything that could be written was possible in the mutiverse?" He nodded at her paraphrasing, idly wondering how she managed to pronounce the exclamation point. "Well, what about stories that are incredibly stupid? Have you seen some of the fanfiction on the internet?"

Most of Homura's knowledge resided in history and literature, but he did have a cursory awareness of the culture of the internet and the general notion that fan made stories of legitimate works of fictions tend to come out worse for wear. Even then, he didn't need to know about fanfiction to know what she was getting at: there was plenty of published literature on this planet that was terrible all on its own and stretched the idea that it could happen in any reality. "Maybe he was just exaggerating. It's possible that he doesn't know just how bad some people's writing is. What if he doesn't even know about fanfiction?"

Matsu gave him a look "Troper!Shirou-tan? Please, he practically breaths fiction, there's no way he hasn't seen the worst of it. And yet," she said, tapping her chin with her finger and looking thoughtfully into the distance. "He seemed absolutely certain when he said that every story has a universe." She stopped tapping her chin and raised her fist into to air with a resolute look on her face. "We must get to the bottom of this! And I have a plan!"

Homura, feeling a sudden sense of dread that had come to accompany anyone in the household saying that they have some sort of plan, squeaked out "Please tell me it's just asking him about it directly."

"No, Shirou-tan is making him rebuild the half of the city he destroyed, so he'll be busy. Besides," Mastu said with a scary shiny gleam in her glasses, "With Troper-tan out of the way, I know just who to talk to…"

"Oh god no! Anything but that!" Homura yelled as he hid behind the doorway to Troper!Shirou's room.

"Oh quit being such a baby." Matsu chided as she turned away from the diagram on the floor. "It's not even the same one that made you wear the dress." She was referring of course to the object floating in the center of the diagram, the red rod known as the Kaleidostick. As it turned out, her plan was to ask the sentient magical object about the logic behind the mutiverse having highly improbable worlds made of stupid. Which, considering the chaos that was caused the last time it was free, was exactly what Homura felt her current plan was made out of. Nevertheless, she still intended to do so, and was currently working to remove the magical locks that Troper!Shirou had put on it. The stick could still talk even with the limiters in place, and had promised Matsu to tell her what she wanted to know if she freed it. Since she didn't have magic, this was being done through a combination of runes, magic diagrams, and a lot of raw power, which is why the rest of Shirou's flock was also in the room in order to help out. Homura had no idea why she thought this would work, but he nevertheless didn't want to risk the possibility that it did.

"I don't care which one it is, you shouldn't be letting that thing loose!"

"Sir, you wound me." The Kaliedostick spoke up for itself with a light tenor voice. "I assure you that I have nothing but the most noble of intentions to all of you."

"You see, its fine." Matsu said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Besides…"

Homura's finely honed sense of doom began to tingle. "No…"

"After all…"

"Don't you dare say it!"

"What's the worst that could happen?"

Homura began pulling at his hair in frustration. "Grrahh! Why do you people keep saying that?" Sure enough, when he looked back at the stick the various runes around it began to glow, and with a blinding flash the markings disappeared. Experimentally, the rod stated to float around the room. It then gave a sigh of contentment.

"Oh, it feels so good to be out of those damn bindings. Honestly, locking me up because he doesn't get my sense of humor? He's almost bad as my creator…" the stick turned the flat side of its star towards Matsu. "Now, what was your question again?"

Before Matsu could speak, Musubi piped up "Is there really a universe where everyone finds love?" she asked with sparkles in her eyes.

"Eh? No, that wasn't it-" Matsu started.

"Is there really a universe when Shirou-Onii-chan and Shiina-Onii-chan play with Kuu-chan all day long?" Kusano asked with sparkles in her eyes.

"What? No, that's not- "

"Is there really a universe where all sake is free?" Kazehana asked with sparkles in her eyes.

"Stop interrupting Matsu!" Matsu yelled. When everyone else in the room was quite, she continued. "Anyway, the real thing Matsu wanted to ask you about was, well, is it really true that every story has a place in the multiverse?"

"Of course!" the stick responded cheerfully. "Why wouldn't that be the case?"

"But that doesn't make any sense, Kaleido-tan! Have you read some of these fanfictions?" She responded, waving a tablet in its direction.

The Kaleidostick titled a bit in the air before responding. "Ahhh, so you want to know about THAT…" It gave a chuckle which seemed ominous to Homura. "Yes, even those exist, though I imagine that simply telling you that isn't enough to convince you."

The information Sekirei furrowed her brow. "It seems pretty unbelievable to Matsu…"

"Excellent! Then my only course of action is show rather than tell. Everyone, make sure to keep your arms and legs inside multidimensional space-time anomaly until we've arrived at our destination." With that, the Kalediostick began to glow and a bubble formed around the Sekirei, including Homura who had forgotten to stay hidden behind the door.

"Eh?" Matsu was taken aback by how quickly things had slipped out of her control. "Wait! That's not what Matsu wanted!"

"Too late! This is more fun!" the rod replied in the same cheerful tone.

"Can I not wear a dress?" Homura asked weakly.

"With where we're going, I can promise nothing." With that and a wail of despair from Homura, the group slipped into the void between dimensions.

Once the darkness receded from the bubble, the flock of Sekirei found themselves… standing exactly where they started.

"Huh? Wait, did we actually go anywhere?" Matsu asked.

"Of course we did. We're now in an alternate reality of your own universe." The floating stick said in a slightly affronted voice.

"Oh, whew." Matsu breathed out a sigh of relief. "For a moment there Matsu thought you were taking us into some sort of terribly written fanfiction."

Homura didn't know how, but he could almost feel the Kaliedostick giving her an evil smile. "Oh, you poor naïve girl. Who says I didn't?"

Before any of them could respond to that, a voice was heard out in the hall coming towards them. "Wuts this nozie? If itz ambush you cant cuz I haz superhearins!" A man emerged from the hallway, and the first thing that struck Homura as odd about him was that he clearly wasn't Japanese. He had long, flowing blonde hair, and was a towering 6'6''. He had a massive build like a body builder and a handsome face the looked like it was carved from stone. What's more, he had icy blue eyes like limpid tears and…

Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Homura thought to himself, shaking his head to clear away the increasingly verbose description of the man that was growing in his head. Limpid tears? What the hell does that even mean? Looking back at the man, Homura started to see that the longer he looked at him, the more oddly perfect and impressive traits he noticed, like his perfect teeth or finely shaped eyebrows. Good god, he like some sort demented fractal of description porn. The interesting thing about this was, in spite of the fact that everything about this man could be described as perfect, all together these features resulted in a creature that just seemed like an idealistic facsimile of a human being rather than a person. The effect was quite jarring, as if he was staring into the deepest depths of the uncanny valley. "Uhhh… Who are you?" Homura managed to say through the mind bending confusion.

"I am Gabrielle Victor Flamewalker Brofist, and im teh most awsom Abkibashi EVARZ!" he said in a manly tone, though that did little make up for the fact that what he said sounded immensely stupid.

"You... what?" Homura was trying to wrap his head around what was going on and failing miserably. He wasn't the only one either, as the rest of Shirou's flock was standing around with their jaws open in shear bafflement at what was going on.

Gabrielle suddenly looked off to the side. "Mah Sekriei sense iz tingilin! Time to getz me another hawt babez!" And with that the man simply jumped up through the ceiling and into the sky. Before anyone could make sense of this, the hole in the ceiling suddenly patched itself up for no explicable reason, making it look like nothing happened at all.

There was a solid minuet of dead, yet baffled, silence before Homura whirled on the Kaliedostick and screamed "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU TAKE US?"

The damn rod stifled a chuckle. "When the multiverse is referred to as the sea of infinite possibilities, it's not just referring to how things might have played out differently due to causal events. It also contains universes that have different rules about how things work, such as the laws of nature or physics. In this universe, there are significantly different rules regarding causality, logic, and sensible grammar. This particular trifecta of traits results in something I like to call the Stupid Zone."

"You certainly got the stupid part right…" Tsukiumi said.

"That's it! You're taking us out of here right now!" Homura shouted at the stick.

"Hmmm… no. I don't feel like it right now."

"Grraaaaaah!" Homura, deciding he had had enough of sentient magical wands for a lifetime, proceeded to storm out of the room with the intent of leaving the house altogether. This was hindered when he made it to the dining room and ran into the doppelgangers of most of the Sekirei he had traveled here with. Normally he wouldn't have paid any attention to them, but he was stopped short when he saw his own counterpart in drag.

"Ggggkk!" was all he managed to vocalize at the sight of himself in the exact same dress as he had been forced to wear a short while ago. Homura honestly wouldn't have been surprised if the damn stick picked this universe because it specifically had this in it. Thankfully, before the horror could truly set it, his thoughts were interrupted by the alternate and much stupider Musubi.

"Love? Love love." She said, as if it made sense.

"Wha…, um, no?" Homura said, unsure of how to respond.

"Love love love love! LOOOOOVE!" She exclaimed happily.

Homura looked closer at her attire and noticed a tag that said 'Hi! My name is Loveicu!' Homura stared at this more a moment before he said "Yeah, I'm just going to go this way now." He turned around to get away from the madness, but found himself face to face with a Matsu who was wearing a princess Leia slave bikini. "Gah! How did you get behind me?"

"|3i7c|-| I |-|ackz0r 73|-| |_|ni\/erse!" She said while peering intently at him.

"Umm… what?" Homura said, in what was rapidly becoming a catchphrase since he got here. It was at this point the rest of his fellow Sekirei had followed into the dining room, and were encounter the rest of the idiotic entities contained therein. Stupid!Kazehana was wearing one of those American beer hats, though it appeared to contain sake in this case, and Stupid!Tsukiumi seemed to be flipping between cripplingly shy to violently angry with every other sentence. Thankful, no parallels to Akitsu or Kuu-chan could be seen.

"U fr0/\/\ 07|-|er di/\/\en7i0n? \/\/007! Jus7 1ike \/ide0ga/\/\es!" Stupid!Matsu continued.

"I'm sorry, but I can't understand a word you're saying." Homura said, coming increasingly close to deciding to solve this entire problem with fire.

"7|-|a7s ca|_|se |_|r n0 1337!"

"For the love of god, you not even using words! You're just making noises with your mouth!"

"Shift+Alt+F5 S1|_|77y Dance!" And with that, she began to dance in a way that was somehow both provocative and incompetent.

Homura struggled to keep himself under control, though a few wisps of smoke arose from his cloths. "How could this possible get any worse?" he said to himself.

Too late he realized the folly of saying this, as then through the wall of Izumo House crashed Gabrielle, carrying what appeared to be Karasuba over his shoulder. He set her table and proclaimed "U r now mah woman!"

Karasuba snarled back "No I hat u!"

Gabrielle leaned forward "lok in 2 mah sexy eyez."

She did, and then imdetiatly proclaimed "Omg ur so hawt!1!11!"

Needless to say, Homura was reaching critical. "That! Doesn't! Make! Any! Sense!"

Gabrielle ignored this. "Sw33t! And now we haz teh sex!"

That's when… IT… happened. It wasn't sex. Homura knew what sex looked like. What was happening in front of him at that moment was affront to all the laws of nature, biology, and even a few of physics. A universal cry of horror and disgust came from the collect Sekirei who were not from this dimension. The only consolation was that Kazehana managed to cover Kuu-chans eyes before she saw anything.

"Oh God! What is that? That doesn't seem biologically possible!" Homura sputtered.

"That's really messed up, even for Matsu…" Matsu said.

"Ah… I don't like that." Akitsu said, finally finding something that was just too wrong.

Through the haze of fury that was protecting Homura's sanity, he noticed that the Kaliedostick had joined the group as well. "Ah yes, I always found the act of coitus to look rather strange, so I imagine that what you're seeing now is like how I see it all the time. Interesting, isn't it?"

Homura could hear the smug amusement in its voice, but it didn't matter. Guided by his rage, Homura had reached the only logical course of action in response to this situation. So then, with a cry of "That's not how a clitoris works!" the world burst into flames.