Lost with you

by Doc CB

AU HarukaXMichiru On flight 5816 from Tokyo to New York something goes wrong... and now, they're all Lost.

6. My time to play

CHAPTER 5

- MY TIME TO PLAY -

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I really don't.

Rating: M for language, violence and... to be on the safe side anyway.

Setting: AU

WARNING: If you're a Seiya's fan I'm telling you, he won't be treated gently.

Author's note: Thanks again for all the reviews and for your patience, there's been a delay due to a change of beta reader, but now it's all solved.

* * * * * * * *

Tokyo airport, 9.18.

"I can't believe it!" The tall, attractive man with black hair and a very long ponytail said, surprised and also pleased. He smiled immediately; a large, charming and utterly fake smile.

His companions figured out the reason immediately when they saw a little crowd waiting for them in the airport hall. There were reporters, paparazzi and many regular travelers drawn by curiosity and already searching for whatever could be used as paper for autographs: clothes, even parts of their bodies were considered.

"How could they know?!?" The silver-haired and shortest of the three men exclaimed, annoyed, approaching a couple of girls who were literally crying for him. When he was close enough he looked a little disgusted as one of them offered him her own belly and a pen. He shot a look at his brothers. Taiki kept smiling kindly at the young girl, apparently indifferent, while Seiya winked at Yaten, gesturing towards the group of belly-buttons already circled by his autograph. Yaten rolled his eyes and grabbed the pen, silently accepting his older brother's challenge.

Their female companion had less noisy but equally enthusiastic and numerous fans. Mostly boys and men, offering her flowers, stuffed animals, even some marriage proposals, but there were also young women. They were in general more classy and composed, the most part offered her copies of classical scores to be signed or her solo concertos CD, and some, their violin cases. She signed everything diligently but with less pleasure than her colleagues.

When the crowd was able to be held back a little by agents of the airport security they decided to even answer a couple of questions by the reporters, hopeful that this way they could get it over with and continue their travel peacefully.

Like always Taiki was the one dealing with those kind of serious matters like answering the questions, while Yaten and Seiya were still engaged in a silent game about who had the larger number of fans.

"I can't believe it, this trip it's been a surprise even for us, how could they know?" the younger brother said as he tried to disentangle his hand from an overeager redhead.

"You should stop questioning these things, we're pop-stars! It's all about us, what we do, what we think... who we date..." Seiya said never losing his smile as he looked at the beautiful aqua-haired woman next to him. When he noticed her distracted expression, he circled her waist with his arm pulling her closer.

The gesture was utterly deliberate, it proved the point of what he was saying to his brother because as soon as he did it all the photographers took pictures and the fan girls sighed woefully.

'Let's give the press the 'perfect couple'!' The dark-haired man thought, looking right into the camera and smiling. 'You are indeed perfect!' Then he looked at Michiru fondly and there couldn't be any doubt about the sincerity of his feelings.

Fortunately he didn't know that the next day those pictures would have shown a charming and smiling Seiya Kou embracing a distant looking Michiru Kaioh at Tokyo airport and that any attentive observer could have noticed she wasn't participating in his personal portrayal of the 'perfect couple'.

* * * * * * * *

The beach, present.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The fearful cry echoed throughout the beach and everyone's attention was drawn to the spot near the wrecked airframe at the eastern end of the camp, where the young pregnant woman stood breathing heavily.

After few seconds she was circled by the other survivors. Lita had one of her knives secured in her hand, and Darien, Mina and Haruka were just behind her. When they arrived Molly was clutching her round belly and panting.

"It's nothing... I think they're gone... just cubs, little boar cubs..." She said between deep intakes of air. She calmed down and told them she had been caught off guard and startled by some cubs which were probably drawn by the smell of the wreck.

After a couple of minutes everyone except for Jade was around her. Dr. Mizuno checked on her, having warned her about the risks of stress in her current state. Michiru held Hotaru's hand tightly although the little girl wanted desperately to get closer and take a peek at all the fuss.

Rei's grandfather, Haruka, Yuiichiro and Darien inspected the inside of the airframe to make sure there were no more animals. Inside the smell wasn't pleasant so they tried to hurry and once back out they all agreed about the necessity of getting rid of the remains as soon as possible. A burial wouldn't be enough, as it would just draw more animals and whatever could smell the rotting flesh, so they opted for burning the plane down.

As the adults were discussing that matter Hotaru disentangled from Michiru's grip and ran off, finally picking up something sticking out of the sand. When Setsuna and Michiru reached her she was cradling a little leather covered notebook in her hands.

"It's Papa's notebook. He writes his notes in it, for his project." She was looking at the pages marked with nervous and sharp handwriting. The two women looked at her in silence having noticed - not without pain - the kid's use of the present tense. They helped the girl up, and then Setsuna noticed an envelope half buried in the sand and grabbed it. It was a letter addressed to Prof. S. Tomoe. She carefully put it into her pocket.

* * * * * * * *

"I had a couple of ideas about some new songs," Yaten said to Taiki while they were taking stock of all the document-like things they had found about the passengers along with Seiya and Michiru. Almost everyone had agreed about holding a small memorial service for the victims and they wanted to try and give a name to as many as possible.

"Well it's not my major thought right now," the eldest of the Threelights spoke without lifting his eyes from the paper he was reading.

"C'mon Taiki-kun! I think they're good melodies and you can think about the lyrics when you have a little time. It's not like we have lots to do here, waiting for the rescue." The silver-haired boy smiled but his brother seemed to be bothered by his insistence.

Sensing Taiki's discomfort and seeing the hurt expression on Yaten's face Michiru decided to get the younger man's attention. Maybe Taiki wasn't in the mood for such thoughts but she didn't want to see Yaten's hope being crushed by his brother's attitude.

"Yaten-kun, let's listen to them." She prompted him. The green-eyed singer didn't need to be asked a second time. He hummed a couple of tunes with enthusiasm and perfect pitch. One in particular seemed to be a very catchy tune and soon the other expert musicians were able to hum it along. At least Michiru and Seiya were, Taiki was instead looking at them with troubled eyes, but no one seemed to notice.

Michiru's heart was beating faster and faster... she was starting to realize only then how much she had missed it, the music. It had been three entire days and she hadn't had time to even think about the music, she hadn't sung, she hadn't played her violin, and that just seemed wrong.

She looked at her friends, engrossed in a playful duet, smiling. That was how it was supposed to be, what brought them together – a common passion, not just a similar job.

They seemed happy singing despite the fact they were checking the belongings of dozens dead people, despite the fact that they were scared to death. Despite the fact that they couldn't say they'd never seen someone die, anymore.

But there they were, smiling and laughing as Seiya performed a convincing impression of Frank Sinatra, taking Michiru's hand in his own and kissing it.

That gesture brought a sense of deja vù. Someone kissing her hand... well, it wasn't like it hadn't happened hundreds of times. She was the kind of woman that inspired those gestures in her suitors and chaperones, but that one time it had been different...

Her gaze drifted across the beach to where a tall blonde figure was talking animatedly.

Haruka kissing her hand had been the last time her heart had skipped a beat in a pleasurable way, and not because of fear or pain. But then she also remembered how she had felt when she had found out the blonde had lied to her.

Thinking about it made her realize she had never smiled for more than a moment with Haruka, maybe while teasing each other, but mostly there had been something dark and painful between them, like the blonde had something that prevented her from completely enjoying her company. That darkness, that sense of hidden pain wasn't part of what she shared with her three friends and colleagues.

Yes, maybe they had different ways of experiencing their success, even different ways of experiencing the music itself, but she could relate to them, even though her heart didn't usually skip a beat.

Regardless of the fact that her music was different, it was her one true passion, her heart's favorite language, the only thing that could make her feel completely at ease... at ease with people, at ease with the world and, most of all, at ease with herself.

Music was all those things to her and it was what she had in common with them... something she surely didn't have in common with Haruka Tenoh.

"Quit it, please!" Taiki's irritated voice tore Michiru out of her reverie.

"Taiki-kun, you should relax a bit!" Yaten said, without losing his light mood. "We're working on our new album," He smiled, "you're the one always complaining about the two of us fooling around and not working hard enough!"

"Just stop! We don't even know if there will be another Threelights' album!" He hissed, his eyes never leaving Seiya's.

"Taiki-kun!" Michiru scolded, "That's not a constructive attitude!" she said firmly, surprised by the weird behavior from the usually composed man.

"Michiru-chan is right, Taiki, there's no need to say such things." Seiya's gaze was challenging but only Taiki was able to notice it.

* * * * * * * *

"Quit it, please!" His voice was pleading, disappointed, sad. He was imploring. He was begging his own brother.

"It's none of your business! I'm not a kid anymore," Seiya replied, not even bothering to turn around, watching his older brother in the reflection of the mirror.

"This is gonna break his heart," Taiki said, "this and what you are going to do to... us." He had tears in his eyes but he didn't want to give Seiya the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

"He's not a kid any more too. He'll deal with it and so will you." Seiya's voice was trembling, but it wasn't because of the emotion. No, right now he had only one thing in mind. He wanted his brother to be gone and leave him alone!

"You're better than that, Seiya... You are." And with that Taiki left the dressing-room. Immediately Seiya searched in his pocket, relieved his brother was finally gone. His bitter words already just a shadow in his agitated mind. Soon he would be calmer, just a minute. Only a minute.

'Here it is!' He extracted a little plastic bag from his pocket triumphantly, his brothers already forgotten.

"Now it's time for you and me to have fun..." He said out loud in the solitude of the small, dark room, his forehead wet with sweat and his eyes feverish.

"It's not like I can't live without you, it's just that I don't want to." And then he poured the powder down on the counter.

* * * * * * * *

"Does it work?" Haruka asked an engrossed Furuhata. The blond man was listening to a strange handmade radio device. He was listening through some headphones he had collected from the wreckage.

He acknowledged the car racer's presence by gesturing her to be silent as he tried to listen.

She stood there waiting for a couple of minutes, shifting from foot to foot impatiently. The sun was bright, she found it hard to keep her eyes open and her head ached.

Suddenly a hand on her shoulder startled her. "I didn't want to scare you," Setsuna smiled.

"You didn't." The blonde replied curtly at the slightly amused look of the older woman. "How is she?" She asked to change the subject.

"Well, no one likes to be lied to, but I think she'll come around." Setsuna smiled at Haruka's expression. She knew perfectly well who the blonde had been asking about but couldn't pass up such an opportunity to tease her. And her annoyed face was definitely worth it.

But then Setsuna noted Haruka was bothered by something and didn't want to try her patience any further, so she gestured to the little girl who was playing in the distance.

"Hotaru is doing fine."

"Good," Haruka commented, massaging her temples.

"I need you to do something for me." This time Haruka looked at Setsuna curiously. The annoyingly insightful remarks and the mysterious attitude were unnerving, but she felt that the woman was on the right side. She felt drawn to her as though she knew her and after the horror in the cockpit and the weird radio transmissions, Haruka was beginning to feel some kind of uneasiness toward their accident and the island they had crashed on.

"I'm listening." She passed her hand through her blonde hair, which had been getting lighter and lighter after being exposed to the sun for so long over the past few days.

Setsuna gestured Haruka to follow her, then showed her the letter addressed to Tomoe. It was from the company he seemed to have worked for, something concerning DNA experiments. There were some words underlined.

"Am I supposed to understand this?" Haruka asked skeptically.

"No, you're not. But I want to understand it. Besides... he said something to Hotaru about having booked different seats. Then why were they on this plane?" The tanned woman explained her doubts.

Haruka chuckled, "Well, they mixed up my reservation too. Lucky, huh?" She said sarcastically.

Setsuna looked at her intently for a moment then turned back to the letter. "Yeah, but he seemed concerned about it... like..." She stopped, not sure whether to go on or not.

"Like what?" Haruka was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"I don't know... yet. But something's wrong," Setsuna stated, still looking at the letter. "Are you OK?" she said as she turned to Haruka who was squinting her eyes in obvious pain.

"Of course there's something wrong! We're drying out on this damn beach!" Haruka snapped, to Setsuna's and Furuhata's surprise.

The blonde immediately apologized, explaining her head hurt and that she was very tired. Setsuna looked at her indulgently and continued on like nothing had happened.

"I was saying... He seemed to know things. In his notes I found some reference to the flight date and... well it's probably only a coincidence," She dismissed the subject.

"What can I do for you then?" Haruka was even more curious at this point.

"I'd like for you to bring me any of Prof. Tomoe's belongings before we burn the airplane down. Hotaru says he had his briefcase with him. She says he never left it unguarded," She informed them. Haruka nodded and was already leaving when Setsuna's voice made her stop in her tracks.

"I asked Michiru, too. I trust only the two of you." Haruka froze. The last conversation she had with the aqua-haired violinist hadn't been exactly friendly and right now, in her state of mind, meeting Michiru was the last thing she wanted to do.

* * * * * * * *

"I'm telling you Taiki-kun, it's gonna work. We'll be at the top all over again. Seiya's voice never fails. And if we can convince Michiru-san to do a duet instead of just the violin solo... well, it'll be terrific. She has a great voice too and just think of the male audience!" Yaten's enthusiasm was getting on Taiki's nerves.

How could his brother be so snobbish and sophisticated and yet so naïve at the same time? That aspect of him had always amused Taiki but right now he just wanted to shake him so hard that he would literally come out of his 'Seiya's-the-best-Seiya's-always-right' reverie. But he knew he couldn't do that.

"Enough! I don't want to think about it Yaten, we have more important things to be concerned with right now." His well-known patience was wearing thinner and thinner.

* * * * * * * *

"What?!?" Taiki was shocked. Here they were in their kitchen sipping milk like every other morning... but it wasn't a common morning. That very night they had the biggest concert of their career, one that could definitely give them the status of worldwide pop-stars but..."You're joking! You can't Seiya, this is wrong, and you know it!" He was incredulous; his own brother was stabbing him – them – in the back.

"C'mon Taiki, it's a great chance for me." He was calm, too calm for such a conversation, almost cheerful while he was dooming not just their career but even their brotherhood to a painful end.

"No! No, you can't." Taiki was shaking his head, still incredulous. "Beside you can't write a note nor decent lyrics, how are you supposed to have songs to sing?" Now he was trying to reason with him but his brother seemed unwilling to do so.

"Oh, well..." Seiya smiled broadly and inappropriately, "You know... it's me they come to see and listen to. It's me who brings them to tears, who make them swoon. It's not about those ordinary melodies Yaten writes. And it's certainly not about your sloppy lyrics. It's about me!" He had raised his voice, he wasn't calm anymore, now he seemed agitated, with his eyes flashing, and his hands moving frantically. "Me and my pretty face and warm voice. It's me!"

Now he was yelling, having turned from cheerful and indifferent to arrogant and enraged in a minute flat. His forehead glistened with sweat and his eyes were bloodshot. His pupils were as small as needle-heads and he was panting.

"You haven't quit Seiya..." Taiki was looking intently at his brother's eyes, "Shit! You promised me! You promised me... for Yaten's sake..." If Seiya would have been lucid enough he would have probably flinched at his brother's disappointed and pained voice, but he wasn't lucid.

He was paranoid, he felt like his brothers were holding him back, preventing him from showing the world he was the best... the best singer, the best of the Kou brothers. The most charming, handsome and talented.

He felt like... he had to leave the band to be unique. He deserved to be unique. He deserved to be the one admired, the one idolized.

"Seiya, you're killing our career - Yaten's career - for Kami's sake! And you're killing yourself with that damn thing!" This time Taiki couldn't help but let his long-held tears fall down his cheeks. He was the eldest, he wasn't supposed to fall apart, he had never fallen apart before... but this time... this time he just felt helpless.

And so he cried, sobbing like a baby, a grown thirty-one year old man. Taiki Kou, international pop-star, eldest brother, always composed; and sobbing loudly, his head bent in shame and defeat.

Seiya looked at his distraught brother, blinking. He was confused... why was he so helpless? Why did he seem so hurt?

'It isn't my fault,' he thought, 'It can't be my fault, I love Taiki, I could never do something bad to him... it's not my fault... it's not my fault it's not myfault it'snotmyfaultit'snotmyfaultit'snotmyfault...'

Then Seiya's clouded mind realized what had happened. He tried to recall what he had said to Taiki, but he couldn't. He knew he had to have said something hurtful and that somehow he hadn't cared... but he did, he did care about his brother. Then why? Why was it all so complicated, so confused?

He slumped down at Taiki's side sobbing. They remained there for a long time, their tears almost refreshing. At some point they had even found themselves hugging and comforting each other.

Taiki recomposed himself first worried about Yaten's imminent return. He didn't want him to see his brothers like that.

"C'mon Seiya, stand up." He almost missed his brother's murmur.

"It's not the drugs." he said looking up at Taiki, "I really want to give it a try on my own. I can quit with the drugs, but I'm not giving up my chance of success." He was resolute. "It will be until the end of the US tour with Michiru, then I'm off." His voice had gained energy, and now he stood, resolve in his eyes.

"It's wrong Seiya, not just for the Threelights but for you too. You can't make it without us." Taiki's voice was firm and then it turned cold, expressionless, as his light lilac eyes watched his younger brother, "But if this is what you want, then do it. But remember, when you do it you won't be my brother anymore."

* * * * * * * *

She had always had an ambivalent relation with silence. Silence is an essential part of music, it marks the rhythm, it makes you anxious about what will follow. Sometimes she even loved it, when she was relaxed, when she didn't want to think or feel anything. It was useful. But when silence was forced, awkward or even resentful, then she hated it.

In that particular moment Michiru hated silence. Only minutes ago she was singing and laughing with her friends, and yet now the mood was heavy, almost suffocating. But then again, she was the one who was giving the cold shoulder, she was the one who was being resentful.

She looked at Haruka's back. She was walking ahead, at a fast pace. She seemed to never slow down, it seemed as though the more upset she was the faster she moved. Michiru thought she had never met such a restless person in her life. Even now she could see her slumped shoulders and clenched fists. And she was so pale – she felt a sudden wave of sympathy, but then remembered – painfully – why it was so awkward.

'Why?' She thought. Was it because her trust had been betrayed? Or was it because Haruka hadn't trusted her enough to tell her? And since when had she cared so much about people's trust?

But it wasn't just 'people's trust'. She knew Haruka was a stranger and she had never cared for strangers much, but it had been different with the blonde, it had felt different since the moment they met.

She had felt drawn to her, at ease, curious enough to sometimes try to get through Haruka's defenses in order to get to know her better. How strange.

She wondered if Haruka felt the same way, but she knew she could never ask and anyway she would probably never get a straight answer.

'Maybe she lied for a good reason...' That indulgent thought had been lingering in her head since she had woken up that morning. She couldn't picture Haruka being manipulative and calculating; so far she had only seen her caring side and her resolved side. No. She could not see Haruka as the ultimate deceiver. But she couldn't deny the fact that the blonde had lied. That she had been hurt by a person she thought she could trust with her life.

"Here... you have to cover your mouth and nose." Haruka's husky voice reached her, suddenly tearing her away from her thoughts. The blonde was lending her a shred of cloth. She took it and brought it to her nose, finding it smelled strongly of mint. She looked at Haruka inquisitively, raising her brows.

"I could only find toothpaste. The smell in there is bad." The blonde told her before she put her own piece of cloth on her nose and entered the airplane.

Inside the plane was dark and not as warm as Michiru had expected, fortunately the thick foliage had protected it from the direct sun. Nonetheless, the smell of putrefying flesh was strong and Michiru had to fight to keep from retching. She followed Haruka deeper between the rows of seats that had been the Economy Class until they reached the Business Class.

Michiru tried not to look at the corpses but the glimpses of livid, swollen bodies would be impressed forever in her mind.

Suddenly she bumped against Haruka who had stopped unexpectedly.

"There." The blonde said, pointing right ahead. She searched the seats for the briefcase with no success.

"Are you sure that's the right seat?" Michiru asked after a minute.

"Yes, I'm sure." At the inquisitive look she added, "That's my luggage, up there, so that was his seat." She pointed up to the trunk where a little black trolley hanged half-crushed.

"Ara Haruka, you're not going to burn up your things, are you?" Michiru asked her, half incredulous and half amused, with the patronizing look of a mother scolding her child.

Haruka instinctively blushed and lowered her eyes, mumbling something about forgetting and having more important things to think of, although she did grab the handle with her good arm and pull until it was disentangled.

When she looked at the aqua-haired woman again she found her amused, almost laughing.

"What's so funny?" Haruka frowned.

"Nothing..." But she giggled and received a disapproving look from the blonde. "It's weird, you know... but sometimes you look like a child." Michiru said, smiling, making Haruka blush even more.

"And you're scolding me, which makes you look like an old nanny." The blonde mumbled. Michiru chuckled again and watched the blonde bending to search behind another seat.

Sensing the violinist's eyes on her back, Haruka turned and looked up. Their eyes locked for a long moment and their expression turned serious.

Michiru was studying those teal eyes intently, searching for a hint of deception and was met again by that strange feeling of belonging. Why did she seem unable to shake it off? Why was it every time she looked at the blonde she felt like she knew her? And why did she wanted so bad to forgive her?

"You're not going to lie to me again, are you?" Michiru broke the silence, her eyes piercing through Haruka.

The blonde passed her hand through her hair nervously but didn't answer.

"I see..." Michiru's said, hurt... again.

"Please..." Haruka's voice failed her, and she looked down in frustration. After a moment she continued, "It's just that... I-I don't..." Then she stopped again, unable to find the right words.

"You don't... what?" Michiru's eyes were burning with rage and Haruka couldn't hold her gaze. "That's it, I understand." She finally said and turned her back to the blonde.

"I don't... I don't want you to be scared... and hopeless..." Haruka's voice was lacking in strength but was still clear enough to be heard. Michiru turned around, her eyes determined, hard.

"Haruka... How can I not be scared? Look around you. These people are dead." She gestured with her hand, "Dead! Maybe you see dead people every day, but I don't... Of course I'm scared." Michiru's words were harsh but somehow liberating, nobody had yet mentioned the fact that dozens of people had died. And with the liberating words came the liberating tears and when she looked at Haruka again she was crying silently.

"I know..." Haruka's heart clenched at that sight, "Please, forgive me." Her voice was gentle but her eyes pained, she wanted so much to reassure Michiru. To swear to her she wouldn't lie to her, ever again.

'But you're lying to her, even now...' Her inner voice pointed out, mocking. 'Coward!' Haruka shook her head, 'Liar!'

'Oh, shut up!' Her temples were throbbing.

'You're lying. Again.'

'I can't tell her we're lost, it'd just destroy her.'

'You don't have the right to decide for her.'

'I told you to shut up!'

'If you really wanted me to shut up... you'd make me. I'm in your head, after all.' But the laughter that followed sounded so real that she responded out loud.

"Shut the hell up!" Haruka's pained voice reached Michiru who turned, frowning. The blonde was shaking her head violently, her face buried in her hands.

"Haruka, are you OK?" The gentle and worried voice with the soothing touch of Michiru's hand on her shoulder brought back Haruka to reality. She opened her eyes and looked intently at her companion as though she was trying identify her, then her expression relaxed.

"I'm fine. It's just this damn headache." She tried to dismiss the subject by returning to the task at hand, hoping Michiru did that to.

The violinist looked at the blonde for a minute, skeptical, then shrugged and started searching the plane's floor for the briefcase. She was a little relieved she had had the opportunity to talk with Haruka.

The smell was starting to make its way to their noses and more than once they had to cooperate in order to move every kind of debris getting in the way; yet still there was no sign of Tomoe's briefcase.

Michiru was trying to ignore all the unknown faces and bodies still trapped under the metallic shards of the airframe when a strange symbol got her attention: a five-pointed star with the infinity symbol in the middle. She kneeled down to get a closer look and noticed it wasn't just one but a pattern printed on some fabric and then it was clear that it was the lining of... a briefcase! Finally!

She tried to pull the opened case out, but something was keeping it down. She pulled harder and it suddenly gave away, making her fall back on the floor with a yelp. With the briefcase in her lap she sat down, looking around in front of her to what had kept the case stuck. She saw the dirtied white shirt and red scarf, then made out the contour of arms and a torso, then looked down to the torn skirt barely covering the legs. It was the uniform of the airline staff.

Instinctively her eyes drifted to the face. It was almost unrecognizable, but the brown hair was still tied into two pigtails...

She couldn't stifle a sob. 'What was her name?' Michiru felt suddenly guilty because she couldn't remember the name of the young attendant, although she had signed a dedication to her only four days ago.

Her sobs caught Haruka's attention, she found Michiru still on the floor, the briefcase secured against her chest, staring blankly ahead.

"Yumi!" Michiru's voice was just a whisper. "It's a cute name. Don't you think Yumi is a cute name?"

Haruka frowned at the flat, emotionless tone and the sad look in Michiru's eyes. She lifted the shorter woman from the floor very gently. Michiru's cheeks were streaked with silent tears. Haruka looked at her and smiled sadly, "Yes. It's a very cute name." And took the briefcase from the violinist's hands.

"They're dead." Michiru murmured, "They're all dead... and we are not." They had lost the cloths for their noses but didn't seem to care, "Is there a reason?" She looked at Haruka intently. She wanted an answer. "Is there a reason for us to be alive?" She insisted, her voice louder.

"No, I don't think there is." Haruka felt compelled to answer honestly at the cost of sounding cynical.

"Or maybe there is a reason." Michiru turned to look at Haruka again, "Do you believe in destiny?" She asked, walking slowly ahead of Haruka, to the exit.

"No, I don't. I think we decide the path of our own lives. The rest... is coincidence."

* * * * * * * *

"We should check the plane one more time before burning it down." Seiya said.

"But we did it three times already." Lita protested from the shadowed spot they had designated as the 'kitchen'.

"I know, but you can never know," The singer insisted. "I can do it myself, if you don't want to. I don't mind." He offered. The brunette shrugged and kept chopping the boar meat skillfully.

"Better safe than sorry... One more trip into the airplane won't kill anybody... I hope." Dr. Mizuno said half-joking... half not. The fatalistic woman was trying to hide her discouragement behind a morbid sense of humor, but the response was cold or even exasperated in tone.

"Mom!" Ami scolded her.

"I'll take the risk." Seiya said, winking at the female members of the small group. Some of them smiled back, especially Serena who seemed to be the most sensitive to his charm.

Taiki watched him attentively then followed him to the plane at a distance. They crossed paths with Haruka and Michiru heading back to the camp. His aqua-haired friend was pale and obviously upset and gave him just a small wave of her hand, while the blonde who had a briefcase under an arm and a small trolley in the other hand seemed lost in her thoughts and didn't even acknowledge him.

When he reached the plane Seiya was already inside. Taiki brought his arm to his face as soon as he was assaulted by the smell. He looked at Seiya who had his face covered with a white cloth and was clearly searching for something.

When the younger man saw him he waved to him, telling him he was there to help him. Seiya seemed suspicious and slightly annoyed but he didn't say anything.

He looked at Taiki for a moment then got back to his task. 'It has to be here...' He thought, having spotted the exact place he was looking for.

His hand was too big for the little crease and he scratched it painfully but eventually he managed to grab what he had been looking for. He put securely into his pants pocket, hoping Taiki hadn't seen anything.

But unfortunately for him, out of the corner of his eye, Taiki saw his brother's suspicious movement and all his fears were confirmed. He closed his eyes for a moment.

'Seiya... why?' He thought bitterly.

* * * * * * * *

"Thank you guys!" The microphone spread the excited voice throughout the entire crowded square and the reply was delirious. The enthusiastic audience clapped and whistled and cried out for the Threelights.

The past three hours had been a mutual exchange of emotions. Hearing all those people cheering for them was almost intoxicating.

Finally the lights went off and the three exhausted but enthusiastic brothers stepped down off the stage. They were sweating and panting but none could tell whether it was for physical or emotional exertion. It had been the first live concert since the release of their hugely successful album. They were still incredulous at the enthusiasm their music had raised. They knew they had sold many copies but to be able to actually see those people, to actually feel their enthusiasm... well, that was mind-blowing.

"Seiya you've been great tonight!" Yaten hugged his brother, tears of joy in his eyes.

"It wasn't just me, we've been all amazing. The Threelights!" Seiya hugged him back tightly.

"Well, it was a total success." Taiki stated, always calm, getting an exasperated look from his younger brothers.

"Taiki, you're impossible!" They laughed loudly as they walked to their small dressing-room. In the corridor they were stopped by several people congratulating them, some of the staff even asking for autographs. They shook dozens of hands and were even offered some business cards. That was it. That was success.

They almost immediately found out success was overwhelming and they were happy to finally reach the dressing-room and shut all that chaos out.

Once inside Yaten ran to his bag and took out a small disposable camera, he hugged his brothers and clicked.

"Yaten! You could have warned, I think I had my mouth open..." Taiki scolded.

"Don't worry bro', you couldn't look prettier than me anyway!" Seiya winked.

* * * * * * * *

The young woman was going through all the documents and belongings of the passengers, at least those they had been able to recover. It was sad, prying into lives of people who were dead. It felt so wrong, so unfair. She was a plain girl, who wasn't one to think about the 'big issues', but lately she had become very aware about the meaning of life and now – unfortunately - of the meaning of death too.

Right when a life was growing inside her ready to come into the world several lives had been cut short apparently without a reason, and that was scary.

"Hi, you've done all those on your own already? Do you need help with the others?" The timid and imperfect English was sounded surprisingly comforting. Umino, the weird and sweet Japanese boy, had been so kind to her those past days and she was getting used to spending time with him, although sometimes his clumsiness irritated her slightly. He sat next to her and began looking through the personal belongings.

"I feel like I know them now. I can say which job or hobby each one used to do... they were good people." She managed a smile despite the subject and he blushed sweetly.

They looked at each other for a minute searching each other's eyes for comfort before he couldn't stand her gaze anymore and turned, beginning to tick off the ID's from the passenger list Furuhata had recovered from the cockpit.

In the meantime Serena was looking for Rei, who seemed to have suddenly disappeared, and after half an hour of searching she found her in a very secluded spot, meditating under the shadow of a tree. When she was close enough she whispered Rei's name.

"If you intend to disturb me anyway, why are you whispering?" The miko said rudely as she opened her eyes.

"Sorry." Serena said apologetically, "Actually I'm here to ask you something." She smiled at the black-haired girl who had to surrender and drop her defensive demeanor, returning the smile.

"What did you want to ask me?"

"Well, we're going to burn the airplane," She began and when the dark haired girl nodded she continued, "well we'd like to do some sort of... you know... service." She said, unsure of how the miko would react. "And well... we... I-I thought you'd be the more appropriate person, you or your grandfather."

"You want me to perform some sort of funeral?" Rei asked a little skeptical. Although she had thought about it a couple of times these past two days, she still felt somewhat uncomfortable, but could be the fact that she had had a weird feeling since they had crashed on that beach. There was something off about that place although she hadn't been able to understand what exactly. Yet it was clear the little community needed that reassuring gesture, just to make them feel like they were still in some sort of civilized world.

"Yeah, something like that." Serena said, and when she saw reluctance in the young miko she tried to justify the request, "I know many of us aren't Japanese let alone Shinto but I think that's not very important right now. All those people deserve a decent burial..."

"Of course, you're right, I'll ask my grandfather and maybe I can translate." She concluded with a small smile as she stood.

"Great!" The blonde's enthusiasm could have sounded utterly out of place in those circumstances but Rei couldn't help but smile inwardly at her spontaneity, though she looked at the blonde scoldingly.

* * * * * * * *

"Have you found what you've been looking for?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know as soon as it starts to make sense." Haruka had expected a negative answer by Setsuna so she was now intrigued, and curious about Tomoe's papers which they had found in the briefcase, but she immediately realized the tanned woman had no intention of explaining herself further. She hadn't even lifted her eyes from the paper in her lap and was already totally engrossed in her reading.

The blonde shrugged and decided to go help collecting wood to burn the plane but as she turned she heard a tiny voice calling her name – or to be exact her new nickname.

"Haruka-papa," She turned to see Hotaru with her little hand stretched for her to take it. Haruka looked at the kid quizzically but she didn't say anything, she just shook her hand urging her to take it and follow her. Haruka submitted to the silent request, unable to deny the little girl. She let herself be guided by that tiny hand in her large one. They walked closer to the shore and Hotaru stopped then squeezed Haruka's hand and pointed to a spot which wasn't too distant.

There, with her bare feet grazed by the water stood Michiru. The wind ruffled her silky aqua hair and she was embracing herself to keep the chill of the wind away.

The only thing Haruka could think at that moment was how beautiful she was. It was a melancholic and poetic view, but she knew what lay beneath it. She knew why Michiru was troubled and the reality of it hit her. Once again she felt the urge to do something to ease the violinist's pain, to see those ocean blue eyes sparkle with a smile. And once again she felt impotent, unable to spare Michiru from the horrors they were surrounded by.

"She's sad." Hotaru's voice tore her from her thoughts.

"I know." Haruka replied still looking intently in the distance. The child pulled her closer to the violinist but Haruka was reluctant now. She felt so inadequate, she was incapable of dealing with emotions, not even her own. What could she say to someone dealing with the unfairness of life and death? Someone feeling as helpless as she felt? What had she to offer?

She had already given Michiru the only thing she could... a lie. The false hope that they could be rescued.

'And she will hate you for that.' Her inner voice stated bitterly.

"Maybe she needs to play." Hotaru once again ripped Haruka from her dark thoughts and now looked up at the tall blonde resolutely.

"When I'm sad I play with my dolls." The kid explained answering Haruka's quizzical look. That childish comment reminded Haruka the girl was only six and she smiled at her indulgently.

"Maybe you're right." The racer replied and now it was her who gently pulled the little girl, prompting her to walk further. "Maybe she needs a different kind of playing though..."

"What kind of playing, Haruka-papa?" Hotaru asked making Haruka realize she had spoken her thoughts out loud. Hotaru pulled Haruka's sleeve when she didn't answer right away.

How to explain to a child things like that? How to explain that sometimes your feelings can be so unbearable you have to convene them into something and let them out or you go crazy? How to explain her that adults need things to make sense, always, even when there is no sense in them?

How to explain Hotaru that Michiru was feeling guilty of being alive? It would be like explaining to a six-year-old why her father would die, leaving her all alone in the world. Such things could never be explained, maybe because there was no believable explanation.

But Hotaru was waiting for an answer and she gave her one, the one that could make sense for a little girl.

"Well, Michiru-..." She hesitated a moment, still new to the affectionate nicknames the kid had given them, "...-mama is a musician and I guess she's used to play her violin when she's sad."

"Oh..." Hotaru was fascinated at the idea of someone playing an instrument but she was also skeptical at the thought anyone could prefer anything but playing with dolls.

As they approached Michiru, only a few feet away, Hotaru kept looking at her then at Haruka, then back at the violinist.

Finally she asked the question that had been lingering in her mind for a minute now, "Haruka-papa, what do you do when you're sad?" That question took the blonde by surprise, but she eluded it long enough for them to finally reach the aqua-haired woman, hoping the kid's attention would be taken elsewhere by then.

"Hey..." Michiru's pained look shifted from the shore ahead to the two new arrivals. First she met Haruka's teal, worried eyes then Hotaru's curious ones and she couldn't help but smile slightly while bending to caress her smooth tiny cheek. When she was eye-level with the little girl she winked at her.

"I think she runs." She said softly. It took a moment for Hotaru to realize Michiru had heard her question and was answering it in Haruka's place. The blonde furrowed her brows, uncomfortable with the accuracy of Michiru's observation.

The violinist looked at the taller woman intently for a moment, as if she was pondering something. She observed the blonde growing more and more nervous under her scrutiny until she could no longer hold her gaze and lowered her teal eyes. That seemed to bring Michiru back to reality – she turned to Hotaru and smiled.

"She runs... when she doesn't go around punching poor innocent trees." She said chuckling showing Hotaru Haruka's dirty bandage.

The little girl glanced Haruka a quizzical look as the car-racer instinctively tried to hide her hand behind her back, embarrassed. At that childish gesture Michiru couldn't help but laugh, bringing Hotaru along. The two kept laughing for a minute uncaring of Haruka's mumbling about 'a conspiracy' to make fun of her.

After a while they were all relaxed, sitting down on the sand and talking.

"It's quite beautiful here." Haruka stated looking at the shore.

"Yes, it is..." Michiru agreed softly.

Hotaru was searching for seashells not paying attention to the two adults.

"So, have you unpacked?" Michiru asked still looking at the horizon.

It was obviously a joke but Haruka was taken aback by the serious tone. "Emh... well... actually no, I haven't."

"Oh..." The blonde was surprised at the hint of disappointment in Michiru's voice.

"Well, I couldn't find a closet to store my numerous clothes..." She tried to lighten the violinist's mood and Michiru noticed it. She smiled at the blonde, acknowledging Haruka's effort. Unfortunately her smile never reached her eyes.

Suddenly Haruka heard someone call for her and then saw Furuhata running towards them waving a sheet of paper.

When he reached he showed them a couple of lines written in his small nervous handwriting.

"I intercepted 'em again!" He said grinning, but his enthusiasm met Haruka's unreadable expression and Michiru's confused look.

The violinist was surprised to notice the total lack of reaction followed by Furuhata's disappointment. She had observed the young man and she liked him; his optimism was contagious. He had always a smile on his face and a resolute outlook. He had taken the strange voices his improvised radio intercepted very seriously and although they had crashed four days ago he seemed absolutely certain something was about to happen any minute.

Michiru had thought more than once that it was a bit odd that no rescue party had found them yet and in her darkest moments she had even thought no one would ever come, but for her own sake she had pushed that grim thought to the back of her mind. It was much healthier to let herself be carried away by his optimism.

With a kind smile Michiru prompted him to continue, noticing that he and Haruka exchanged weird glances.

"I tried to transcribe what I was able to make out, the signal isn't clear." He read it out loud, it wasn't a very long and it was often interrupted by blank spaces when he had been unable to understand the words being said.

"Ara, I don't get it. What was all that, about the animals?" Michiru voiced her confusion, "The bears and the mouse and kitties... what is it? A zoo?" It was very strange indeed.

"I don't know, maybe I had things mixed up." Furuhata admitted, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, "Anyway, I tried to send them an S.O.S...." He continued, his eyes sparkling with hope.

Michiru smiled but noticed once again Haruka being cold – to say the least. And now she seemed a little impatient too.

"So!?" Haruka couldn't wait anymore and she bluntly prompted him to tell them about it.

He hesitated, a little scared by the blonde's tone, "Y-You know, we can't even receive properly..."

"Furuhata-kun..." Michiru gently invited him to continue, sending a disapproving glance at Haruka.

"Well... they hadn't acknowledged it... they hadn't received it..." He concluded, not having the courage to look the blonde in the eye. "But... but, we haven't a proper antenna. If I could find a way to amplify the signal then maybe..."

"Yeah, sure..." Haruka dismissed the subject with a gesture of her hand and stood, walking away and following Hotaru who was now running along the seashore.

Furuhata frowned, hurt by her behavior, but he knew Haruka didn't share his optimism. The only thing they shared was the notion that it was unlikely they would be found in a short time, and that it had to remain a secret between the two of them.

"I don't know why, but we can receive their signal clearer than they can receive ours." He said to Michiru, a little frustration in his voice.

"You're doing an incredible job, Furuhata-kun." She said sincerely.

"I try..." He replied glancing at Haruka in the distance.

"You're doing fine, believe me. And don't worry about her," She said following his gaze, "I'm sure she thinks exactly the same." Her voice softened, "She just won't admit it."

"Maybe you're right." Furuhata smiled skeptically, "Actually she doesn't look good, at all. She looks very tired." He stated.

"Yeah..." Michiru's agreed, her worried eyes fixed on the blonde, "besides, I don't think she has much patience." She concluded smiling slightly.

"Yeah." Furuhata agreed, smiling too.

"By the way Michiru-san, did you hang with Seiya-san today?" He suddenly changed the subject. Michiru jumped like she had been pinched: she had completely forgot about Seiya – actually she had forgot about everything, being completely absorbed by her dark thoughts.

"Just this morning, why?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing, it's just that... I saw him and his brother – the older one - a little on edge today, if you know what I mean, and they hadn't seemed to me to be the kind of brothers who argue a lot."

"No, they're not. Thank you for telling me. I'll go check on them." She thanked him and stood, walking to the camp with him, unaware of the two teal eyes looking at her from the shore.

* * * * * * * *

The forest in that spot wasn't too thick and the camp was only few yards away, but nonetheless Taiki was slightly uncomfortable after having listened to his brothers' tales of the day before. Keeping that in mind he kept following Seiya through the woods from a distance on the awkward path. He felt guilty for being so secretive and subtle with his own brother but he kept reminding himself he was doing it with his best interests in mind. And not just that, he was also trying to protect Yaten – as always.

But lately he had reconsidered things. Maybe it was time to let his brothers deal with their own lives, without interfering. Maybe that was the best thing he could do. Seiya was on the brink of the abyss and maybe it was already too late for him. Yaten, on the other hand, was old enough to face the situation without Taiki pampering him anymore.

It was a reasonable train of thought but his heart said different. He knew Seiya wasn't a bad man, he knew that he had done everything without bad intentions. Yes, he was ambitious but could he really blame him for that? Of course he had made some big mistakes but he also deserved his brothers' help. He had just lost his way and as Taiki was the eldest he had the responsibility of helping him back on the right track.

And Yaten... well to stop trying to protect Yaten was the most difficult thing to do for him. Since their parents had died, both Seiya and Taiki had been overprotective of the young boy who had always been so sensitive. So the mere thought of letting him be hurt – especially by his own idolized brother – was unthinkable.

With this inner conflict between reason and heart going on Taiki proceeded into the woods oblivious that Seiya had already noticed him.

'What the Hell does he want now?' Seiya was beyond annoyed. He felt suffocated with his brothers constantly all over him when the only thing he wanted right now, was to be left alone.

It had been hard enough eluding Yaten. His younger brother was clingy to say the least, always looking for his company, especially since the crash. In the past his unfaltering admiration had been flattering but now, it was overwhelming.

'Maybe it's because I feel guilty about leaving the band...' Seiya thought honestly.

With Taiki it was different. Their arguing had become a daily routine. They had tried to hide it mostly not to upset Yaten – or Michiru, recently – but it was obvious there was a trust issue between the two of them. Something had broken and there was probably no fixing it.

Even facing death together hadn't been enough to bring them close again. Yaten was still shocked but acted like nothing happened, not allowing his brothers to help him, and Taiki... well, Taiki seemed even more paranoid than ever. And Seiya thought it was time to face him once and for all.

He hid behind a big trunk and waited for his brother to pass by. When Taiki realized he had lost Seiya's tracks he swore under his breath.

"It's so rude... swearing like that." The sarcastic comment took Taiki by surprise. He turned around to see Seiya standing tall and resolute in front of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" The black-haired man was hardly keeping his voice down.

"What do you mean?" Taiki played dumb on instinct, but was immediately ashamed of his childish behavior.

"Don't play games with me, Taiki!" Seiya raised his voice, clenching his fists. The two men exchanged a burning look, the pent-up tension finally about to find its release.

"You know perfectly well why I'm here." Taiki said firmly, "It's about that... shit." He said.

"Now now Taiki-kun, cursing doesn't suit you." Sarcasm was Seiya's usual way of being defensive and Taiki knew it, but he was tired of being understanding.

"That's enough, Seiya! I trusted you... despite everything." He said, "You swore you'd quit. You said it looking me in the eyes." He was now mere inches from his brother, towering over him.

"And it was the truth, damn it!" Seiya yelled at him in frustration, "Why can't you believe me for once?" He had tears in his eyes, but they were tears of rage. And it only got worse when Taiki chuckled.

"You're actually asking me why can't I trust you?! Are you serious?" Taiki was incredulous. Was Seiya really so oblivious of what he had done?

"You betrayed us, Seiya. You stabbed your own brothers in the back and now you're asking why can't I trust you?" The older man's voice seemed to have lost some of its strength as he continued, "Trust is something you have to gain and, well, your behavior hasn't been exactly trustworthy." He said shaking his head.

Seiya knew his brother was right, he had lost his right to be trusted by them, but...

"Please, stop it. Stop lying to me," Taiki murmured, finally defeated even by his own resentment. He paused for a moment, his shoulder slumped, his eyes still locked with Seiya's, "I'm tired of it. Stop it."

Seiya was taken aback at seeing his older brother on the verge of tears, his taller frame getting smaller and smaller as the resignation seemed to weigh physically on his shoulders.

Taiki did felt like the entire world had been on his shoulders for so much time now, and he had miserably collapsed under its weight. He felt like a failure as an older brother; one of his siblings was killing himself with drugs and had betrayed them whilst the other one was about to be heartbroken. He had failed to keep his family together.

Seiya looked intently at his brother. It pained him to see Taiki so defenseless, and it pained him to know he was the reason of it. And when the first tear actually fell down Taiki's cheek Seiya felt so much guilt that he did what most people would do when their feelings become unbearable... he struck back. Ferociously.

"Taiki you're pathetic. Crying like a baby. I'm sure you're blaming yourself for everything! You're so weak..." He laughed in his brother's face, mercilessly. His heart turned into stone.

Taiki was shocked at first, but then he could hardly keep himself from punching Seiya in the face.

"Sorry to point it out brother, but it's not about you. That's my career, my life. You're only good for throwing moralism in the faces of those who have more guts than you!"

Those were cruel words and Seiya knew it, but right now he just wanted Taiki to leave him alone. He didn't need someone constantly reminding him of his mistakes.

Taiki was literally torn to pieces. But after a long moment he suddenly felt his resignation disappear leaving room for his pride and a rage he had never thought possible to take over. He straightened himself up and stood towering over his younger brother, barely keeping himself from hitting him with all his strength.

"Enough! I won't let you throw your shit on me anymore! You're just a mean, pathetic boy who can't see the right thing to do because you're all wrapped in your own little world in which you can feel great, because you know that out of there, you're just a vacuous person who can care only for himself." He was shouting and he had raised his hand ready to hit Seiya. "I've had enough of you! Go to Hell Seiya! You can kill yourself for what I care!" Then, surprisingly enough, Taiki turned to leave. But he had to stop in his tracks: in front of him, his pale green eyes full of tears, stood a shocked Yaten.

"Yaten-kun..." When he tried to comfort his little brother with a hand on his shoulder, Yaten withdrew abruptly glaring at him.

"Why?!? Why are you talking to him that way?" Yaten's eyes were full of disgust and pain. "You have no right-..." He hadn't been there enough to hear the whole argument.

"You don't understand Yaten-kun!" Taiki was even more frustrated that Yaten was still oblivious of the reality of the situation.

"Oh, no Taiki, I'm not stupid. I've noticed in this past month you had lost little chances to get at Seiya-kun, always criticizing and scolding." He held Taiki's eyes, "But this? This is too much. What you just said to him... I can't stand it. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore." Yaten tone was hurt and resolute. Taiki was incredulous, that couldn't be happening... No... no that was it. He had to know.

During this unexpected diversion Seiya had the chance to calm himself down. As his brothers argued he finally came to his senses. It was all wrong. He shook his head in the useless attempt to erase what had just happened from his mind, but he couldn't. He now saw the absurdity of all that but he was like stuck to the ground where he stood, unable to move, to run away, but neither to intervene.

After the first moment of shock Taiki decided to put aside the protectiveness that he had always had about Yaten, it was now time to show him the world for what it was...

"Yaten, it's time for you to know exactly where your trust and admiration go... Ask your dear brother what he's hiding in his pocket." He said pointing an accusing finger to Seiya.

Yaten furrowed his brow in silence, looking questioningly at Seiya. Seeing him hesitating Taiki insisted, "Come on Yaten... ask him. Ask him what it's in his pocket that he was so anxious to recover from the plane..." Still no one moved or talked. "Ok, I'll ask him... or better I'll tell you, just to be sure he doesn't lie. Again." Taiki looked from one brother to the other, finally feeling the weight of his humiliation lift from his shoulders. "It's heroin, Yaten."

Yaten's eyes went wide, he immediately searched Seiya's look for some sign of indignation for that absurd accusation, but he found none. Seiya just stood there, a blank look in his eyes. Yaten shook his head as his own eyes filled with tears and his heart broke.

"Seiya-kun say something! Come on! This is ridiculous..." His voice trailed off when he realized Seiya wasn't denying anything. Instead he seemed to surrender to the accusations as only a guilty person would.

"Oh no... No no no..." Yaten brought his hands to his mouth in shock, silent streams of tears descending down his smooth cheeks.

Taiki couldn't stand the sight of his little brother falling apart and turned his head. Seiya was petrified, he couldn't move nor talk, he couldn't even breathe.

When he saw the hurt and disappointment in Yaten's eyes he felt his heart stop for a moment, and closed his own eyes trying to replace that picture with one of his little brother admiring him, loving him... but he couldn't.

It was gone. The truth had destroyed everything with such brutality that Seiya had to look around to make sure the world was still there.

Nobody moved for a moment until Seiya came to his senses and buried his hand in his pocket, searching furiously.

Finally he stepped forward and stopped in front of Taiki and showed him what he had in his pocket.

It was a picture, all wrinkled and dirty. It showed the three of them in a lopsided shot, their faces magnified by the closeness with the camera. Taiki on the left had his mouth comically open wide, in the middle was Seiya, his smile as charming as ever as he winked, and Yaten had his arm stretched in front of himself, obviously holding the camera and laughing.

They all remembered when the picture was taken; they all remembered they had been happy back then. With all their dreams within reach and the future still to be discovered. And most of all, they had never been closer as a family.

Suddenly a transparent drop wet the picture Taiki had taken in his hand. Yaten looked up to the sky by instinct expecting the rain, but it wasn't a raindrop. Before he could say anything Seiya's hoarse voice broke the silence.

"I thought I'd lost it, and I couldn't bear it..." He gulped down the lump in his throat right when Yaten's eyes filled with hope, "...but what Taiki said, about the heroin... it's the truth. I was a drug addict... I had been for over a year..." He couldn't go on. His voice broke into sobs and he ran away, leaving his brothers behind.

In the distance, unseen, someone turned back and walked away through the jungle.

* * * * * * * *

Michiru had looked all over the camp but there were no traces of her friends. Only Umino and Molly, still arranging the passengers' belongings, had seen them, or perhaps it would be better said that they had seen Taiki and Yaten coming back from the woods quite somberly. And Yuiichiro, who was chopping wood for the fire, said he and Haruka had heard them talking in the forest, but he wasn't so sure it was them. Resolved to find her friends she decided to check the last potential spot, the doctor's tent.

As she arrived she ran into Ami who was also heading there with some herbs in her hands.

"Ami-san, have you seen Seiya, Taiki or Yaten recently?" Ami shook her head.

"Ara, they seem to be disappeared." Her tone was casual but inside she was starting to worry.

"I'm sorry Michiru-san, I haven't seen them since this morning." She replied.

Then some voices came from inside the tent and Michiru had a flash of hope, but Ami hurried to point out that they weren't in there.

"Michiru-san I don't think anyone of them is in th-..." Michiru was about to enter when she almost bumped into Haruka exiting. Michiru was surprised to see her. The tall blonde was slowly massaging her shoulder.

"Is everything OK?" Michiru asked immediately, having noticed Haruka's pale face in the morning.

"Of course." Haruka replied quickly buttoning up her shirt. "You?"

Michiru blushed, apparently for no reason, and quickly turned away. The concern in the blonde's eyes had taken her by surprise.

Not receiving an answer, Haruka asked again, this time with urgency in her voice.

"Michiru, are you OK?" She had been surprised to see Michiru at the doctor's and wanted to be sure everything was alright.

"Actually not..." She answered. Haruka frowned and Michiru hurried to reassure her she was fine but that she was worried about her friends.

"I see." The blonde relaxed, "Well, actually, I saw them." And she gestured Michiru to follow her.

Ami watched them, waving goodbye, and speechless. She looked at the herbs in her hand and back to the blonde walking away.

"Haruka-san..." Right then doctor Mizuno exited the tent and found her daughter, "Oh Ami-chan have you got the herbs?" She looked at her daughter and then followed her gaze to Haruka leaving with Michiru.

"I see... you've found the herbs but you've lost your patient." She said with an amused smile. "You still need to learn the basics of this job..." She circled her arm round Ami's shoulder, "Non-complying patients can be vicious!" She chuckled.

Haruka made sure to be out of the doctors' sight before halting. "I saw your friends." She reassured Michiru, "Don't worry, they're safe."

Michiru looked at her questioningly and so she continued, "I was in the forest to gather some wood and I saw – actually I heard – them. They were... ehm... arguing quite animatedly." Michiru didn't seem to be reassured by that. "They're brothers, it's standard procedure to argue to solve problems out." She smiled trying to convince Michiru everything was alright.

"Yeah... I know, but... They don't usually argue that much." The aqua-haired woman tried to explain.

"Listen, I saw them returning to the beach. If you can't find them it's possibly because they don't want to be found." Haruka said, touching Michiru's shoulder gently, "Maybe they just want to be alone for a while." Her words made sense but Michiru couldn't relax completely. She had an uncomfortable feeling about it.

"You said you saw them..." Haruka nodded, "Who exactly did you see? The three of them?" Haruka was surprised at that question.

"In the forest, yes. And then I saw Taiki and Yaten walking back to the beach." She saw Michiru's look get even more worried.

"I know you're not too keen about Seiya." Michiru managed to smile briefly, "He's not exactly friendly with you but... I'm worried about him." Haruka smirked, suppressing an unkind remark about the black-haired singer.

"He... look, I don't think he wants to see anyone at the moment." The blonde remembered the scene she had witnessed earlier, "He was walking to the beach anyway. Let him calm down before going to him." Haruka didn't like Seiya, but she was trying to be reasonable for Michiru's sake.

"Alright." Michiru agreed and they headed back to the camp.

"Why were you visiting the doctor, anyway?" Asked Michiru as they approached Setsuna and Hotaru, who were under the shadow of a palm-tree.

"Nothing." Haruka tried to dismiss the subject quickly, but Michiru could be very persistent sometimes.

"Haruka-san..." The violinist scolded, "You do look terrible, you know?"

"Why thank you! You sure know how to make a compliment!" Haruka joked with fake indignation.

"Baka. You know what I meant!" Michiru replied, stressing her words with a punch on Haruka's shoulder.

"Ouch!" Haruka looked at the violinist with surprise and massaged her shoulder, red faced with pain. Michiru turned wide eyed realizing she had just punched Haruka's left – and previously dislocated - shoulder.

"Sorry!" She cried out blushing furiously. Haruka had intended to give Michiru a fake scolding look but she couldn't hold her laughter at the violinist's expression.

After the first shock, Michiru realized Haruka was laughing.

"What's so hilarious? If you want I can punch your shoulder again..." She said, slightly irritated and awkwardly lifting her small fist.

"Oh no no no! Please, I surrender!" Haruka managed to say between laughs.

"So?" Michiru insisted, glaring half serious, half joking.

"Nothing, it's just that you were so cute all blushing and embarrassed..." Haruka's laughter died as she realized what she had just said and then it was her turn to be very, very embarrassed.

Despite the fact that the blonde's word choice hadn't passed unnoticed, Michiru managed to maintain her composure and she even smirked in vengeance at the red tinge on Haruka's cheeks.

They weren't far from Haruka's, Setsuna's and Hotaru's dwelling and when passing by Michiru noticed Haruka's small suitcase, still untouched. A pang of longing ran through her heart and probably through her eyes as well, because Haruka stopped and asked her if she was alright.

"You haven't unpacked..." It was a statement but Haruka felt like she had to justify herself. That feeling, the fact that everything distressing Michiru had become an issue for her made her snap at Michiru rudely.

"Why are you so obsessed with my luggage?!"

And - of course - she immediately regretted it.

The blonde had been so loud that even Setsuna, still engrossed with Tomoe's notes, lifted her head and looked in their direction for a moment.

"Sorry... I'm sorry." Haruka looked at Michiru in sincere apology, "Please forgive me...I...I don't know what..." After the immediate shock Michiru smiled indulgently at the blonde whose pleading eyes seemed to be a bit feverish.

"No, you're right... I'm being intrusive." The violinist realized she was a little touchy on that subject, "It's just that... you know... I have to admit I'm a little envious." She looked at the little black trolley lying on the white sand.

"You haven't found your things, have you?" Haruka asked softly. Michiru shook her head, surprisingly on the verge of tears. She lowered her head in the vain attempt at hiding her eyes behind her aqua locks.

"Hey..." Haruka stepped close to Michiru and gently lifted the smaller woman's chin with her hand, "What's wrong?" Her voice was so soft and warm and her look so deep that Michiru couldn't suppress a sob.

Despite her awkwardness around any display of emotions Haruka found herself enclosing the smaller woman in a comforting embrace, but it seemed to make things worse judging by the trembling of the violinist's shoulders.

The blonde's gesture was as much unexpected as welcomed by Michiru who suddenly felt free to let go all the pent up emotions of the last few days.

After a couple of minutes she felt suddenly conscious of her position and how comfortable she was in the blonde's arms... and that was... weird? Wrong? She couldn't tell – however, she hurried to disentangle herself from the embrace, regretting it a little and brushing the tears from her cheeks.

When Michiru looked up at Haruka she couldn't believe how red her face was. Even her ears seemed to be on fire, and after the initial surprise the blonde turned her head slightly, unable to hold Michiru's gaze.

"I'm sorry, I'm being silly." The aqua-haired woman apologized.

"Emh... don't be! Sorry! I mean don't be sorry." Haruka's ability of speech seemed to have disappeared along with the pallor of her face.

"My suitcase was in the plane's hold, and I didn't find it, but it's not about that." Her lucid eyes got a little darker. "It's stupid, really." She said with a dismissing gesture of her hand, but Haruka wasn't willing to let the subject go and stressed that out putting her hands on Michiru's shoulder and looking her straight in the eye.

"What is it about, then?" The blonde asked.

"In the crew's stash..." She stopped, again feeling a little silly to make such a big deal out of it.

"What was in the stash?" Haruka asked firmly.

"My violin." A flash of sympathy run through Haruka's heart. It had to be painful, for someone who had made a living out of music, not to be able to play. "Oh, I'm bothering you with such silly things, forgive me." Michiru dried her eyes, which were watering again, with a graceful gesture and in a moment she was back to her old composed, detached self.

That cold and contrived demeanor felt odd for Haruka but she could recognize in it some of the Kaioh Michiru she had always seen on TV, concerts or magazines.

The problem was that, by now, Haruka knew that the sophisticated, beautiful lady was just the shiny hard cover, and that underneath laid an incredibly intuitive, playful and caring woman who seemed even more beautiful, with her hair waving in the breeze and her eyes still glistening from tears.

Haruka indulged in those thoughts for a moment before realizing what she was thinking and scolding herself for it. She tried to focus on the current situation and her eyes stopped on her little black suitcase.

"Well, there's not a violin in there, but you can help me unpack, if you want." She knew the excuse was lame, but Michiru seemed to appreciate it and together they unzipped the black leather top cover, even though it was so badly torn that the contents were already poking out.

The zipping noise got Hotaru's attention, and she ran to join them, happy and curious for the little diversion as only a child could be. The little girl's arrival was welcomed by both Haruka and Michiru who always enjoyed her presence, and they also saw the chance of shifting their attention from one another to her.

As they started unpacking it was clear Haruka was letting the other two take the initiative, as they were the most excited about it. She knew what she had hurriedly packed three days ago.

The first thing which even Hotaru noticed was the smallness of that case.

"You weren't planning to stay long, were you?" Michiru's comment had intended to be simple small talk but Haruka stiffened at the question.

"Yeah, just a couple of days." Michiru couldn't help but point out it was a pretty long journey for such a brief stay. That observation had the result of making Haruka taciturn and somber. Michiru took a silent note of that but decided not to try the blonde's temper any further; instead, she kept on checking the clothes to see if they were of any use.

The scant contents consisted of a neatly folded pitch-black suit, an equally neat black dress shirt and a pair of black lace up shoes. Underneath there were some night clothes, a pair of shorts and a matching t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. Those things were all scattered and creased as they had been thrown in hurriedly.

Michiru looked at Haruka for a moment, she hadn't expected to find that in the blonde's case. It was Hotaru though, who questioned the blonde, innocently.

"Haruka-papa do you like black?" Her childish voice was somehow skeptical.

"Not particularly." The car racer answered casually, but when she saw Michiru's eyes lighten up in realization she knew she had made a mistake.

'Of course!' Just then the violinist realized what occasion would require a sudden departure, black clothes and a short stay. She observed the blonde intently and when she crossed her eyes she saw she was definitely troubled. The blonde lowered her eyes immediately and picked up the running shoes and the T-shirt in a desperate attempt to avoiding Michiru's inquiry.

The violinist, though, had known Haruka long enough not to dare mention something like that. Nonetheless she now saw the blonde's sullen mood under a new light.

She stood there looking at the tall woman with sympathetic eyes, wondering how good it could be, for Haruka, to bottle her feelings up the way she did, but couldn't picture her confessing. Not even to her.

"Michiru-mama, are you OK?" Hotaru asked as she noticed Michiru spacing out.

"Sure Hotaru-chan. I'm OK." She said, still looking at Haruka who seemed to sense her piercing eyes on her back, because she turned abruptly.

"Shouldn't you go looking for that bak-..."

"Haruka-papa!" Hotaru scolded her, glaring with her big, purple eyes at the so much taller adult who hurried to correct herself.

"... mmh ...for Seiya?" Looking guiltily at the small child still glaring at her like a strict mother.

If she hadn't been deep in dark thoughts Michiru would have definitely laughed at the scene, but instead she just nodded and after kissing Hotaru on the head, went to find Seiya.

* * * * * * * *

In the loneliness of the small room the counselor's words re-echoed in his head repeatedly.

'It will be hard Seiya-san. I should tell it will be worst than hard, it'll be Hell. You have to reach the bottom to begin to resurface, and if you haven't reached the bottom yet, be sure you will do it here. Here you're just a guy, like everyone else, another poor soul who has hurt himself and those who care for him. Here, you'll learn how to be a no one in order to remember who you really are.'

He had to remind himself he had chosen on his own accord to be there, that it had been a willing choice. He had to remind himself that nobody knew where he actually was, he needn't to face the shame. Yaten and Taiki thought he was relaxing with some girl on some tropical beach. His manager thought he was in some beauty farm, taking care of his profit-making looks getting rid of some stress, and his fans thought the Threelights were working on a new, amazing album.

The pangs had started as the counselor had foretold, the horrible pangs in his stomach like his guts were trying to squeeze their way out of his abdomen.

The pain!

The pain was unbelievable, and when it subsided his mind still didn't clear. He could just remember those menacing words...

'...and when the pain will be so ferocious, enough to make you curse all gods and your own parents for having allowed you to be born, well, then you will think that nothing of that is actually your fault, that you don't deserve that... so I'll tell you now... It's bullshit. It is your fault. Your. Fucking. Fault.

I'm telling you this because when the pain will double you have to remember, clearly, that you brought it onto yourself.' At first he had thought that was a lame try to intimidate him, but now he was just realizing that - though lame - it had been successful.

He was in pain and he was scared. And he was furious too. He wanted to hurt someone, he really wanted to kill... Yes, he wanted to kill someone, anyone that was responsible for all that pain...

And then he understood.

He understood the counselor's words. It was his fault. And understood why he was in an empty room unable to hurt even himself.

'You'll have to prove yourself you're worth living again...' Those were the very last words the counselor had said before leaving him in his room.

The pangs in his stomach were intensifying, he was sweating profusely and shivering at the same time. He was entering Hell like the counselor had said.

'But he's wrong about one thing.' He thought gritting his teeth, 'I'm not a 'no one'...' He fumbled with his shirt and pulled out the only item he had successfully kept from the clinic staff inspection. Something they didn't want him to have.

But he knew that was his only chance to survive, they couldn't understand, but hedid. He couldn't possibly make it without a reminder...

"Here you are..." He said out loud, his mind already clouded. "You'll save me, you'll made me again what I was... who I was..." He mumbled crazy words or so the staff would have thought.

"Here you are..." He started sobbing and his warm tears seemed to wash away any resistance. His entire body surrendered to the pain. His long journey to recovery had begun.

He slipped to the floor clutching a wrinkled picture in icy cold hands. It showed three happy young men, full of dreams and hope of a brilliant future.

* * * * * * * *

When the night fell on the island a big fire was lit up on the beach. Before the 'official' service Molly had wanted to pay homage to all the dead people, trying to say a couple of words for every one of them, even if it was just their names.

She had spent hours going through all their things, trying to identify jobs, hobbies, families. Anything that could make them feel like they weren't strangers anymore. That they hadn't died alone.

They were all gathered around the fire with the only exception of Jade. Rei's grandfather begun mumbling prayers and although Rei was translating, those words were meaningless for most of them, but at the same time they sounded comforting beyond their literal meaning.

Michiru turned to her right. There stood Seiya, his dark eyes looking directly into the fire. She hadn't been able to talk to him yet. When she had went to see him she had found him sitting alone on the sand shaking his head, and had decided to follow Haruka's advice and leave him alone for the time being.

'Later...' She thought, resolved to offer him her help in any way he needed it.

Then she turned to her left to see Haruka's tall figure. The blonde had been quiet all evening, often massaging her temples. She looked more and more tired and her mood had grown darker and darker with every passing moment.

In the dancing light of the fire, Michiru noticed a metallic flash at Haruka's neck and she recognized the golden cross attached to a thin necklace. She had noticed it the first time she had seen Haruka shirtless when she had hurt her shoulder. It bothered Michiru: the thought of Haruka bending to any will that wasn't her own. Not even God's. So she found herself questioning the blonde, before she could stop herself.

"Isn't it weird for you – such a service?" She was rewarded by a questioning look.

"I told you I've lived in Japan for many years." The blonde answered a bit confused when Michiru pointed to her neck. She reached with her hand and when her fingers came across the necklace she understood.

"Oh, this... I'm not Christian, if it's what you think." She whispered back.

Then continued, "I'm nothing, actually..." She kept twirling the cross between her fingers, "I mean, I'm not religious."

"Why you wear that, then?" Michiru asked curiously.

Haruka remained silent for a moment then answered to Michiru's surprise. "It's a gift... from my grandmother. She gave it to me when I left New York to go live in Japan."

That conversation, much to Haruka's relief, came to an abrupt end when the ceremony demanded their attention and participation.

* * * * * * * *

Half an hour later the airplane on the beach was on fire. The flames, high in the sky, illuminated the camp mercilessly. No one was allowed to stay in the dark that night, not even Seiya who was silently praying to become invisible, to disappear off the face of the Earth. Little did he know the irony in that thought.

He was sitting on a trunk, apart from the main group and staring into the flame, as if to invoke their cleansing power. After a moment he buried his hand in his pants-pocket and extracted a small transparent plastic bag. For several minutes he swirled it slowly through his fingers. He watched it intently, as though it could give him some precious answers, and in some ways, it could. Lots of people had looked for many things inside that packet: reasons, courage, happiness, oblivion or just some fun. He had too, but it had never given him answers. It had just made him forget the questions.

He looked at it for just another moment then tossed it into the flames.

He felt suddenly free. Able to go put his life together and maybe - only maybe - regain his brothers' trust.

* * * * * * * *

That night almost everyone thought about life. How unfair it was, how painful, and yet how hopeful and full of surprises.

The flames kept almost everyone's eyes captivated, but someone was looking at the sky and the stars shining above. Hopeful eyes searched the sky for a sign, something telling them it was alright to hope. Cynical eyes thought how beautiful the stars were, and how pointless it was to enjoy that view when lost in the middle of nowhere and forgotten by the world.

Those two pair of eyes looking at the sky – and only them - noticed a blinking light passing rapidly over their heads...

* * * * * * * *

Furuhata's heart skipped a beat when he recognized the blinking light of an airplane. That night he couldn't sleep, he was too excited at the thought of imminent rescue. What luck! Lighting up that enormous fire, right when an airplane flew over them. It could not pass unnoticed.

* * * * * * * *

Haruka noticed the blinking light, and she let a quick flash of hope pass through her heart. It crossed her soul like a falling star, rapid and not leaving any trace behind.

'Maybe... we're just invisible. Or maybe we're not supposed to be found. After all, this enormous fire can't pass unnoticed...'

* * * * * * * *

The sand creaked under soft steps and Seiya turned to see who it was, before he turned back to the fire.

"Rough day?" A light weight sat next to him, but he didn't move, "Mine too... do you wanna talk about it?" Michiru's slender arms embraced him gently and he laid his head comfortably on her soft chest.

He finally felt free to let the people he loved help him.

End of chapter 5.

Many thanks to my precious, hard-working beta reader, Calaeris. :)