I do not own Ranma ½
Tatewaki was musing as he slowly made his way through the school. He had just had a rather strange conversation with Ranma and it coupled with the recent revelations he had undergone weighed upon his mind. As of late, Tatewaki had been reevaluating his relationships, as well as the way he treated various people, attempting to separate the emotions based in reality from the ones which were products of the fantasy he had been living in.
Tatewaki had taken an instant dislike toward Ranma due to the fact that it appeared as if the boy had usurped any chance Tatewaki had with Akane by not only being engaged to her, but by living in the same house as her.
The antagonism Tatewaki had felt towards Ranma had only increased with the revelation he shared a deep relationship with the pig tailed girl as well. It did not help matters any that Ranma had been able to defeat Tatewaki in an ever more casual manner.
The physical loses were perhaps even more difficult for Tatewaki than the emotional. All his life he had striven hard, practiced religiously, had lost himself in the mastery of his art. He had become arguably the best kendoist of his generation; a generation ever more focused on modern trappings and less on the traditions of their ancestors.
Tatewaki had felt invincible, he had never lost a match, even against opponents much older and more experienced than himself. Then without warning, Tatewaki had met Ranma and he had lost. To be sure their first contest was a close match, but ever since then it had become apparent that the gap between his skill level and Ranma's had widened considerably.
Despite his best efforts to train and refine his swordsmanship, Ranma had proved to be on a completely different level than Tatewaki time and again. To be so casually defeated after training so hard and pouring himself into his art, after endless hours of practice and exertion; it was hateful to Tatewaki.
He had blamed his loses on chance, circumstances beyond his control, even blaming Ranma for cheating through the use of sorcery. But now that Tatewaki was reevaluating his outlook on life, he could admit that the reason that Ranma consistently defeated him was that the younger boy was better versed and more dedicated to his art than Tatewaki was to his own. It was a distasteful conclusion, but one which was dictated by logic.
Perhaps Tatewaki still resented the situation unconsciously, but he was attempting to curb his conscious ire. After all, to hate someone merely because they were a stronger fighter was petty and unbecoming.
His other reasons for despising Ranma had been cast into a new light as well by Tatewaki's recent revelations. He was unsure of his feelings toward either Akane or the pig tailed girl, so what right did he have to dictate whom they associated with?
With these thoughts in mind, Tatewaki had come to the conclusion that perhaps he had unjustly demonized Ranma, and had said as much to Ranma during their conversation. Ranma had seemed willing to let bygones be bygones and to attempt a friendship with Tatewaki.
Strangely though, during their conversation, the pig tailed girl had come up and Ranma had seemed adamant that she had no interest in pursuing a relationship with Tatewaki. He had seemed reluctant to go into details of his belief however, and soon after the topic had been broached, had hurriedly left. Perhaps the pig tailed girl was a lesbian?
Tatewaki left that line of thought alone as he became aware of where his feet had taken him during his ruminations.
He leaned against the door frame to one of the several small buildings clustered around Furinkan High like offshoots of a mother bamboo plant. He silently watched as paired boys dressed in armor struck at each other with wooden swords.
None of the kendo club noticed Tatewaki's presence, each occupied with his opponent. Some were silent, some exclaiming with every thrust, some advancing, others retreating, all of them flawed in their technique.
Takashi's foot placement was wrong, it allowed his to defend adequately, but robbed his attacks of power. Yoshida's grip was incorrect, causing him to hold his bokken rigidly, far from flexible enough to defend properly. Nakamura was over extending, leaving gaping openings for his opponent to take advantage of. Fukazawa … well perhaps Fukazawa should have taken up baseball rather than kendo.
Yet this was the best team in Tokyo, perhaps even all of Japan. Had Tatewaki carried the team to victory time and again all by himself? He smiled to himself; no, he wasn't egotistical enough to claim credit for their victories, at least not any longer.
The reason Furinkan High's kendo team was so successful was because they were truly the best. The mistakes which seemed so glaring to Tatewaki were invisible to most people, perhaps even his teammates as well.
His team practiced for three hours every weekday, as well as every other weekend. Tatewaki drilled into them proper technique, he pushed them physically and mentally, he trained them mercilessly. They won because they practiced longer and harder than any other kendo team in Tokyo.
But after practice was over, they left kendo behind. They went back to being normal boys, occupied with playing video games, going on dates, or studying for the next round of tests.
In contrast, Tatewaki couldn't. He could not simply drop kendo and not think of it until the next day. For years kendo had been the center of his thoughts, his passions, of his life. He had poured all his time into the pursuit of kendo, had forced his life to religiously follow the way of the sword. It had been only recently that he had replaced his obsession with kendo with one just as unhealthy which went by the name of Akane.
And for what? He was a master of the sword to be sure, he was unparalleled in the kendo world, but was he any happier than the less than perfect kendoists before him? Was his future any brighter? Was his life any better? No.
Not to say that kendo or the Bushido it inspired were useless. They taught discipline, self reliance, and respect, as well as a whole host of other admirable traits. But as the Oracle of Delphi had instructed, "know thyself" and "nothing in excess."
Tatewaki was only just coming to terms with himself and who he was, and he was finding that he took almost everything, including kendo, to excess. He resolved that it was time for a change. There would be a time for kendo and a time for Tatewaki. No longer would they be one and the same.
Having come to such a momentous decision, Tatewaki strode into the practice hall and picked up a spare bokken.
"Fukazawa!" he yelled out, causing all activity in the room to cease. "Stop swinging that bokken around like a club, and pretend you're at least trying to be a kendoist."
Tatewaki strode over to Fukazawa and shooed his opponent away. He took the starting stance, not bothered by his lack of protective armor since it would be nigh on impossible for Fukazawa to get a hit past Tatewaki's defense.
Tatewaki paused, noticing that the rest of the room was still silent, the matches paused while the participants eagerly watched Tatewaki, waiting for his next move. He glanced around at all the people simply standing around and announced, "You all aren't going to become any more skilled merely by standing about like a bunch of fools. Anyone who does not win a match in the next ten minutes gets to join me on a five kilometer run."
As his teammates scrambled to find partners and return to their matches, Tatewaki turned back to Fukazawa. "The same goes for you Fukazawa. Now show me why I should allow you to represent us in the next competition."
Fukazawa visibly gulped before taking his position opposite from Tatewaki. He mirrored the ready stance and without warning Tatewaki started the match. The exchange of blows was fast and noisy, but the outcome was never in doubt. Tatewaki respected his teammates enough not to toy with them, and his dedication spurred them on to attempt to try their best against him.
After the brief match Tatewaki gave Fukazawa several pointers on how to improve his swordsmanship while they waited for the rest of the matches to finish. He then stripped off his uniform jacket and undershirt in preparation for the physical activity ahead, and led the losers of the matches in the promised five kilometer run, generously allowing them to run without being encumbered with kendo armor.
Upon their return he led his teammates through several standard exercises, the movements ones which they had practiced hundreds of times before, and would repeat hundreds of times after.
The practice lasted for another two hours, during which Tatewaki lost himself in the physical activity. He focused exclusively on every movement, every exercise, driving out the doubts and other thoughts which had plagued him through the well known and well understood world of kendo.
He wished the practice would last longer so that he could remain in a familiar mental state for a while longer, but all things come to an end and sooner than he would have liked, Tatewaki found himself alone in the kendo hall, returning the last of the used equipment to its proper place.
Darkness was only minutes away as he closed and locked the door to the building devoted to the kendo team. With a resolute sigh Tatewaki turned his steps toward the Kuno estate, quietly dreading his return to such a home.
He had put back on his undershirt and uniform jacket, but had not tucked in the shirt or buttoned up the jacket. These coupled with his hair weighted down and disheveled from the strenuous physical activities he had just undergone, combined to give him an air of delinquency as he made his way home from school.
Tatewaki was in no hurry to return to the empty mansion he called home, so he slowly strolled down various streets in a generally homeward direction. Cars with dark windows and bright headlights passed him in the street. As he got further from school more people, mostly couples, joined him on the sidewalk.
As the crowd thickened, the lights advertising different businesses became brighter and more closely clustered together. Tatewaki noted that he was passing through a section of town dominated by theaters, arcades, and restaurants targeted towards young love.
He was passing by a small cafe which was separated into both indoor and outdoor portions, when he was struck by an impulse. Perhaps it would be more enjoyable spending time enjoying the ambiance of the neighborhood then returning home immediately.
So he found an unoccupied table in the outdoor section of the pleasant looking cafe and took possession of it.
He signaled toward a nearby waitress who nodded her head slightly, acknowledging Tatewaki's existence and that she would be over to take his order as soon as circumstances permitted. Tatewaki settled into his seat, the metal chair slightly chilled from the night air, quickly warming from his body heat. He leaned back into it, enjoying the slight bite of the cold metal as he regarded the scenery before him.
The street was brightly lit by neon store signs proclaiming the store names and their wares. They bordered on being garish and drowned out the white light of the street lights which had faded into the general ambiance of the street.
The night was young and so were the majority of the people bustling about. There seemed to be a momentary surging of people, the streets becoming somewhat more crowded than they had been a minute ago. Tatewaki attributed it to the movie which he spied on the marquee of a nearby theater which informed him that the start time was in ten short minutes.
"Excuse me sir." Said a voice beside Tatewaki. He turned to find the waitress he had signaled earlier proffering him a small paper menu. She was young, perhaps Tatewaki's age, perhaps slightly younger. She was very pretty, and had her hair up, matching the Chinese cut of her uniform, giving her a slightly exotic air.
"Ah, thank you." Tatewaki said as he took the menu from her and spent a moment glancing at the list of items. It offered what any decent cafe offered, various sweets in dainty portions, a wide variety of coffee related beverages, and a wide selection of different teas.
Tatewaki wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty, so he had no real craving for anything in particular on the menu.
He looked back up at the waitress and smiled as he said, "All of this looks just so appetizing. I'm afraid that I can't possibly choose, and I've been taught that whenever that happens, it is best to defer judgment to an expert on the matter. Therefore, you being an obvious expert in this field, what would you recommend to accentuate this evening?"
The waitress paused to ponder the issue for a moment before responding, "Well, most people order coffee this early at night. You know, so they have that little boost of caffeine to stay alert for the rest of the night."
Tatewaki's smile fell slightly as he replied, "I'm afraid that I have little reason for prolonging this evening, and perhaps would in fact be better served by a swift conclusion. No, I'm afraid that caffeine and I shall remain strangers this night." He lapsed into silence for a moment before continuing, "Tell me, what would be your suggestion for a tea suitable for a slightly chilly autumn evening such as this?"
The waitress once again thought for a moment before hesitantly replying, "Well, my grandmother always said that the best tea in the fall was Oolong. Something about it complementing the natural rhythm of the seasons or something."
Tatewaki smiled full force once again before handing the menu back to the waitress and saying, "Well then, if that is what your grandmother recommends, then that is what I shall have. A pot of your finest Oolong if you please. An order of the assorted wagashi as well, in case I become hungry."
The waitress scribbled on a small pad for a moment, then with a small bow towards Tatewaki, left him to his thoughts.
Tatewaki once more turned to regard the bustling street. Teenagers were packing the many arcades, spilling out of the doors onto the sidewalk. The restaurants and karaoke bars were busy, but undoubtedly would become infinitely more busy once the soon to be showing movies were over.
Everywhere there was happiness. From the excited murmuring, overlapped by the high pitched electronic beeps from the arcade, to the bursts of laughter from the clumps of friends sitting at tables further down the sidewalk, tot he contented smiles of couples as they gazed into each other's eyes.
The mood was infectious and Tatewaki found himself lightly smiling in response, when the waitress reappeared at his elbow. She gracefully set down a small teapot, insulated from the night air, and then a plate of several wagashi of several different colors, shapes, and sizes. She then placed a western style teacup and saucer in front of him before asking, "Would you like anything else?"
Tatewaki surveyed the table and could find no fault. "No, I think that is all for the moment. Thank you."
The waitress once more bowed politely, then turned to tend to other customers. Tatewaki turned his cup right side up and poured himself some of the steaming tea. He waited a minute to allow the tea to cool, then took an experimental sip. It was slightly sweet and flowery, a little earthy, and while it wasn't too strong, neither was it too light. It was perfection for an autumn evening. Grandmother definitely knew what she had been talking about.
He picked up and bit into one of the wagashi, which caused his mouth to be assaulted by the taste of apricots. He mellowed the flavor by taking another sip of Oolong, and relaxed, fully prepared to enjoy his respite.
Just as he was relaxing however, he became aware of a discordant note in the sounds of the evening.
"No good … pervert … Delinquent!"
The voice, which had started out some distance from Tatewaki, had exclaimed the final word quite close to his table. Tatewaki looked over to locate the cause of the disturbance and found a scowling older woman. A beauty with long dark brown hair, and a short black dress.
The woman turned her head and their eyes met. A flash of recognition crossed her face and she quickly made her way over to Tatewaki. As she stopped in front of him, Tatewaki finally placed her. She was a teacher at Furinkan, Miss Ninomiya if he wasn't mistaken.
She loomed over him and asked, "Are you from Furinkan High School?"
Tatewaki glanced down at his uniform, then back up. "Yes, I do attend Furinkan High." He replied.
Hinako placed her hands on her hips and leaned forward. "And what are you doing out here? Being a delinquent?"
Tatewaki regarded her somewhat in disbelief, but soon saw that the woman was in earnest. "Miss Ninomiya, as I'm sure that you're aware, at the moment school is not in session, and the restrictions placed by it regarding both my person and time have been lifted."
Hinako looked around and seemed to realize that it was dark out, well past school hours. She seemed to deflate slightly as she apologetically said, "I'm sorry, it's just that I've been having a bad night, and I saw your uniform and things just kind of …"
Tatewaki waved his hand dismissively and interrupted, "Think no more of it, I am an expert both in bad nights as well as jumping to conclusions."
Hinako sighed heavily and seemed to become even more dejected, an air of resignation settling upon her. It was the physical manifestation of a feeling Tatewaki knew all too well. A feeling of being alone, with nothing ahead but a long journey to a place where the was no life, no warmth, no happiness. Merely a place to sleep, to survive, until the next day.
As the older woman turned to leave, Tatewaki found himself involuntarily calling out, "Wait!"
Hinako paused and turned back towards Tatewaki questioningly. He felt slightly embarrassed as he continued, "It's just that I felt perhaps you were a kindred spirit. I too have been having a difficult time, and personally speaking, am in no great hurry to return home at present. I'd much rather sit here and bask in the joy and happiness I see in others, then sit alone in the darkness of my house, contemplating my misery. Forgive me if I've misjudged you, and unfairly projected my own feelings upon you, but I would appreciate the company."
She seemed to consider his offer, but appeared doubtful. Tatewaki regarded her earnestly and gestured toward the chair across the table from him. "Please?"
Hinako seemed to come to a decision and huffed into the proffered seat. "Alright," she said, "but this is just because I don't have anything better to do, and you seem rather pitiful sitting here by yourself."
Tatewaki signaled the waitress once more. She came over immediately, eying Hinako warily as she asked, "Yes sir, is there anything else you would like?"
"Hot chocolate please." Hinako said, "and make sure it has lots of marshmallows. I like it really sweet."
The waitress seemed to silently question Hinako's sanity, but quickly whisked away with the order.
The next few minutes passed in awkward silence as Tatewaki sipped at his tea and attempted to look anywhere but at his companion. The mood was broken when the waitress returned and set a think ceramic mug down in front of Hinako. Any steam from the beverage was blocked by a small mountain of miniature marshmallows, but Hinako seemed to enjoy it.
Wishing to avoid another awkward silence Tatewaki asked, "So, you mentioned that you were having an unpleasant evening. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask why you feel your evening turned out badly?"
Hinako humphed and angrily popped one of the wagashi into her mouth before responding. "I had a date tonight, but he turned out to be the same as almost every other man I've gone out with. Sure it started out alright, flowers and a romantic dinner. But then he started asking about when I was going to turn back into my other form. It turns out he was a pervert and a pedophile."
She angrily ate more wagashi and chased them with hot chocolate, unmindful of how hot it was while continuing. "I mean what is wrong with society these days? Here I am, an attractive young woman with a stable job, and the only men I meet are scumbag perverts who ignore the fact that I am a woman and instead focus on my other form." She crossed her arms and scowled, reminiscing on the despicableness of the male gender.
Tatewaki casually refilled his cup before responding, "That does seem to be an insufferable position to be placed in, as well as grounds to declare tonight as being a bad night. I'm afraid that I can only offer the empty platitude that there are other men out there, and one day, if you continue to try, you will find the person right for you."
Hinako snorted in scorn, then sighed a few moments later. "I just want to fund a guy, a nice guy, someone who likes me because of who I am, and not for the fact that I spend half my time as a preteen."
Tatewaki blew the steam from his cup and took a sip before commenting, "The same could be said of everyone. We are all searching for that special person, the one who makes us complete. The one who loves us not for what we can do or provide for them, but simply loves us because they love us."
They both lapsed into silence as they mused over the depths of their drinks and their thoughts.
"So," Hinako said, "What's the reason you're sitting here alone on a Friday night?"
Tatewaki glanced across the table and replied, "I'm here because, as I've informed you, I really have no impetuous to return home at this time. As to why I'm alone, well that's more complicated." He sighed. "Until recently, I was attracted to two different girls. But I suddenly realized that while I am attracted to them, I'm not entirely sure I love them. I've been struggling with myself to figure out what exactly I feel for each of them. Indeed, I've been questioning what exactly love is and whether I've felt it for anyone. I just don't think it is fair to either of them if I try to pursue a relationship without first being sure of my own feelings in the matter."
Hinako chuckled slightly. "I think that you are missing the point and making this much more complicated than it has to be." Tatewaki looked at her in confusion as she continued, "You don't walk into a relationship knowing with absolute certainty that you love the other person. You become attracted to someone, you find something about them you like. Whether it's their appearance, their personality, their mind, whatever. You find something about them you like, then you go out and spend time with them, you get into a relationship with them. You find out more about them, and either you like what you find or you don't. Love isn't some emotion set in stone, unchanging and immaculate in its conception. You have to work from attraction, to liking, to love. Love is being able to wake up next to someone fifty years from now and still have the same respect, the same attraction for them as you do now."
Tatewaki looked down and contemplated his hands for a moment before looking back up and asking, "You seem to be an expert on the subject. Have you ever been in love?"
Hinako looked away at the couples clustered around the entrance to the nearby movie theater as she replied. "Once, I think I could have been." She looked back at Tatewaki. "But that's the thing about love, you have to work for it. Like you said earlier, you have to keep trying until you find it, and once you do, don't ever let anything happen to that love."
She looked down at the now empty plate which had held the wagashi, then at her watch. "It's getting late, I better be heading home. Thanks for the hot chocolate kid. Remember not to stay out too late, or I'll find you and drain your delinquent energy." She said smiling.
She set down her mug and stood up, giving Tatewaki a small wave before blending back into the crowd streaming past the cafe.
Tatewaki peered into the dregs of his cold tea. Was she right? Was it really as simple as that? He would have to think on the matter further. He set a 5,000 yen note down on the table and made his own way into the night.
He walked for several minutes, quickly leaving the bustling district behind him, the streetlights becoming more spaced out and dimmer as he approached his home.
He entered the silent and dark estate as usual, finding no one else at home. No lights or sounds betraying the presence of another living soul. Tatewaki quickly made his way to his own room and undressed and prepared for bed.
His mind was so filled with thoughts of his conversation with Miss Ninomiya that it wasn't until he was preparing to turn off his light that he remembered what else he had wished to know that day.
"Sasuke." He called out.
The small ninja appeared from a hole in the ceiling after being summoned.
"Yes sir?"
"Did you have the opportunity to visit my father today Sasuke?"
The ninja dropped from the ceiling and assumed a kneeling position in front of Tatewaki, ready to report to the boy.
"Yes sir I did." he responded. "You're father has several complaints concerning his health, but the staff of the hospital he is currently residing in believe that he is fabricating his ailments. As such he will be returning home tomorrow."
Tatewaki stared at the ninja as he asked, "And my father, did you tell him I asked after him?"
Sasuke suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I … I did, sir."
Tatewaki could tell that there was more to be said on that point, but it would likely only serve to crush his feelings, as well as Sasuke's. So with a wave of dismissal Tatewaki said, "That is good. Thank you Sasuke. You may go now."
The ninja silently disappeared, leaving Tatewaki to his thoughts. He sat on his bed for a few moments, regarding his hands and the floor of his room. Then turned off the light and waited for sleep to come to him.
Thank you for the reviews, even if this story isn't as popular as my other one I'm currently working on. I didn't particularly like this chapter, I felt that the style was too jarring and disassociative but hopefully you'll look past that, because this is the best I've got at the moment.
On a side note, anyone have any tricks they would like to share to aid in yeast proofing? My kitchen is becoming rather cool in the morning, which retards the growth of yeast necessary for getting bread the way I like it. Any advice would be much appreciated.