Catch and Release
Chapter 3
"How'd it go?"
Fang just shook his head as he got into the ex-vet's car.
Valencia sighed. "Well, it'll get better. Of course you'd be nervous, your first visit."
Again, she just got a shrug.
"If it's not a good fit though, we'll find you another therapist."
He nodded, still just sitting there stiffly.
"You wanna go back to the hotel?"
Nodding again, he finally buckled his seatbelt.
"What are you gonna do there, Fang? You don't want to go somewhere else?"
"Where?"
"Well, Ella is watching the kids all alone-"
"I'm not good with kids."
"That's not what I heard."
"What do you mean?" He tugged at his jacket sleeves, suddenly feeling too hot.
"I talked to Max on the phone this morning."
"Okay."
"She told me that you're getting along very well with Carter and Evan."
"I guess."
"She can be hard to handle, Carter can."
That's one way to describe her.
"You should have told me that Max had a daughter."
Valencia started the car. "Why dwell in the past, Fang?"
Seeing as it hadn't even been a week yet, Fang doubted that he deserved dweller status. "Still."
"I didn't want to overwhelm you."
"Seeing her like that…"
"Like what?"
"I thought, when I saw the toys, that it was going to be a boy, Carter. I got…excited."
"Oh, Fang-"
"It's fine though," he said hurriedly, as if admitting that would get him in trouble. "She's fine."
"Don't rub your wrists like that," Dr. Martinez told him as they stopped at a red light. "It can't be good."
"I, um…I have a, thing to…"
"What? Fang, honey, don't get so nervous. It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong."
"Not wrong. I, um, I have a clip from a newspaper. For a job. I want it. I called and made an appointment. At four. It's three. Can you take me?" He was still rubbing his wrists and she finally reached over, laying a hand over his own, trying to calm him. He flinched, but she didn't seem to notice.
"Of course, Fang."
"Thank you," he mumbled, staring down at her hand over his. He wanted to add 'for everything', but he knew he would never be able to. Letting out a soft sigh, he shifted and she removed her hand, leaving him alone.
They stopped for lunch to kill some time before she stopped by Ella's. He really didn't want to, but he knew that if she was willing to take him to his interview, then he couldn't complain.
"You can wait in the car, I suppose," Valencia told him as they pulled up. "I'd prefer you to go in though."
"I can. Go in, I mean." He slowly got out and followed her up to the door.
When Ella opened it, he was hit with that same feeling he had been getting since he had been released from the hospital. Everyone looked so much older now. Not that he had been expecting them to all still look like they had as teens, but come on. It was so much to take in. When he had gone to see Angel, she had…grown. Like…in the womanly way. And Gazzy was so tall now… It was scary.
At the moment, staring at Ella, Fang decided that she hadn't turned out that bad. She wasn't ugly now or anything, but she wasn't striking either. Just average. She mostly looked the same, just…aged. Lucky her.
"Fang," she said, shocked. "Oh, Mom, I wasn't expecting…come in."
He did a quick check around and found the same problem he had in Nudge's apartment.
"Owl."
Carter. She was standing behind Ella, basically bouncing with excitement. Ella's house opened into a hallway instead of a living room, so Fang couldn't really do a thorough check like he wanted.
"What, sweetie?" Dr. Martinez asked as she took stepped into the quaint, little house. The little girl wasn't concerned with her grandmother though.
"Owl!" She held her arms up above her head. For a second Fang feared she thought he was going to pick her up, but then he realized she was trying to imitate how large he was. "Big Owl!
"Hi."
She patted his knee caps. "'nt Ella. Owl."
The best he could gather from that was that she knew an 'ant', though it was actually aunt, was an insect and an owl was a bird. To a little kid, that meant they were both animals. Fang thought about showing her how he really was an animal, how much like an owl he really was, but he kept wings furled.
"We've met," Ella said, thinking she was trying to introduce them. Carter just gnashed her teeth at her.
"Carter," her grandmother corrected, frowning. Quickly, the little girl ran over to her grandmother, wrapping her arms around her legs. "Behave."
"Hi."
Fang had never seen her greet anyone like that. All he had seen was her bite at everyone, save Max. Nodding towards the living room, he waited for Ella to tell him it was okay before heading in there and taking a seat on the couch.
"Owl."
So Carter had followed him. Great.
She quickly climbed onto the couch with him. "Owl."
Scaling his body, she reached up to touch his face. She almost slipped at one point and Fang had to hold onto her, to keep her steady.
"Funny," she giggled at the feeling the stubble on Fang's face. "Tickle."
"Fang?"
Glancing over, he found Dr. Martinez looking in on them. "Yes?"
"Are you two okay?" She asked after hesitating. Carter glanced at her grandmother, but kept on tracing Fang's scars.
"Fine."
After another second, Carter made a weird move as she tried to reach the top of Fang's head. He wasn't prepared for this and she fell.
"Uh-oh." She was giggling though as she landed in his lap. "Fall. G'anny. Me fall."
"I saw."
Sitting up, Carter then reached out for Fang's hand, wanting to push up his sleeves. When he jerked away, she bit him.
"Hey." It hadn't hurt, but still. Fang quickly sat her down and her grandmother came to deal with it. Fang just shook his head slightly as she was led away by Valencia. The brat. He was being nice to her!
"She bites a lot."
Fang looked over to see someone coming into the other entrance to the room, which probably led to the bedrooms. Frowning, Fang decided that he was an idiot for not checking out the house completely.
"You're Fang, huh?"
Fang regarded the boy with silence. He appeared to be rather slight in form, not very tall, and his hair was cut short and spiked up. Fang was pretty sure he could take him, but you never know.
The eleven year old came closer, but sat down in the chair instead of the couch.
"I'm Seb."
Still, Fang just stared.
"You don't talk a lot, do you? That's what Aunt Nudge said." Sebastian smiled wickedly at him. "I heard a lot of stuff about you, Fang."
He didn't like the way the boy said his name. At all. Turning his vision forward again, Fang decided it was best to just ignore him.
"So what did they do to you in there?" The pre-teen leaned forward in his seat, his eyes glued to the older man. "Horrible stuff, huh? They tortured you. I've heard that. How bad did it get?" The he snickered. "Did they castrate you?"
Fang closed his eyes tightly, counting his breathes to keep himself from saying anything.
"I bet they did, didn't they? Cut it right off. Now what, huh?" Sebastian gave it another minute, waiting for Fang to say something, but he remained stoic as ever. "What else they do? Now that you're a fag? Huh? They rape you in the ass?"
And he was eleven? Fang still didn't take the bait.
"I've heard them talk before. You couldn't even stop them from hurting my Aunt Max. You're were fag before they-"
When Fang rose to his full height, the boy shut up. Slowly, Fang went to stand over him, staring hard down at him. He had originally stood to tell the boy to shut up, that he still was very much intact in his pants, and the only faggot that he knew was the idiot that kept trying to provoke him. Once he was over the boy though, he saw just that. He was a boy. A stupid, dumb, little kid that was trying to establish his dominance in his mainly female family.
"Fang?"
He glanced over his shoulder to see Ella coming into the room, Evan in her arms. Now that was a boy Fang could get behind. Evan was rare to make noise, much less talk about things that were way too mature for him.
He nodded at her.
"Mom's ready to go if you are. And Seb, go tell your granny hi. You haven't seen her in two days."
Sebastian just stared up at Fang, unblinking. He looked like he was about to piss himself. What? Did he think that Fang was going to hit him or something?
"Now, Seb," Ella repeated. "What's going on anyways? Fang?"
Turning on his heels, he just shook his head at her before heading out of the room. When he got back to the door, Carter was there, waiting for him.
"Owl!" She jumped, giggling at him. Her grandmother stood by, shaking her head. "Bite."
She better not bite him again. Fang was so done with kids for the time being it wasn't even funny.
"You ready?" Dr. Martinez asked. "I don't want you to be late for your interview."
He nodded.
"You realize that you're going to have to actually speak, right? At the interview?"
He nodded again. Carter giggled, nodding her own head in an attempt to mimic him. Apparently, she was over her tantrum from getting in trouble.
"Owl!" Carter reached up and tried to grab his hand, probably to push up his sleeve again. "Owl!"
"No." He shook her off, frowning. "No, Carter."
Her eyes widened at his tone. "No?"
"No."
She humphed, crossing her arms, but did listen to him. Fang shook his head a little bit as Sebastian came in. He gave his grandmother a hug before running off, probably fearful of Fang telling on him. Fang just rolled his shoulders before heading for the door.
"Bye-bye."
At first Fang thought Carter was talking to him, but then he realized she was speaking to her grandmother. Dr. Martinez bent down and hugged the little girl.
"I love you."
"Nah-noo" Carter hugged her back before looking at Fang. "Owl. No."
"Yeah, no."
Ella came back and picked her up before saying something about it being naptime and leading her away. Shaking his head, Fang went out to Dr. Martinez car.
"Ella's husband died when Sebastian was two."
Fang glanced at Valencia as they got into the car, but said nothing.
"It was horrible. You guys were all gone, I was still trying to keep track of Angel and Gasman, you know, keep them out of trouble, and then had Ella and Seb to deal with. It wasn't easy."
Clearing his throat, Fang said, "I'll bet."
"Then Nudge came back. I tried with her, Fang, but she was too…broken. She thought that it was her fault that she couldn't get back to you guys. We tried, you know. And then Iggy came back. He was so hurt, physically. I wanted to keep him close, but eventually he and Gazzy went off to Texas. I talk to them nearly everyday, you know."
He just nodded as he buckled his seatbelt.
"Then Max…Carter was only a few months old. Max needed severe help. The government had shut down the school she was being held at, so there was some money from them, but not a lot. She really did think you were dead. If we had known….well, why dwell in the past, huh? The point is you're here now." She glanced at him. "I want you to stay in town with us. I don't want you running off like Angel, Iggy, and the Gasman."
He tried to tell her about how he wasn't going to do that, about how this was where he was meant to be, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate.
"Maybe it'll keep the girls in line, having you around." She smiled at him as she started the car. "I know it will Max, but maybe having a steady man around will help Ella and Nudge out. It'll make them feel safer at least, or so I would think. It can't hurt the kids either."
He just nodded slightly. Why did so much fall on his shoulders? Since when did Max and Nudge need him? If anything, he needed them. Maybe they could all just need each other together. That would be nice. And maybe Angel and Gazzy would come down and stay with them eventually. Iggy too. That would be nice. That would be very nice.
"Thank you," Fang mumbled to Dr. Martinez as she pulled up the apartment building.
"Will you need a ride back?"
"I'll walk or she'll give me a ride. Or something."
"Call me if you need me, Fang." She smiled at him. "Especially if you get called about that job. I really want to hear about that."
"Thank you," he said again before getting out of her car.
It wasn't until he was up the stairs and outside the door that he began to feel nervous. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door.
"Oh."
"Hi," he said as Max opened the door. Then he held up a bag. "I bought dinner."
"What?"
"Fried chicken. And macaroni. For Carter." He shifted the weight on his feet. "Unless you've already ate…I guess I should have called…It's just…I figured…"
"No, no, we haven't eaten." Max took a step back. "But Fang-"
"Fang's here?"
Fang looked passed Max and saw…him sitting on the couch, playing with Carter. Frowning, Fang said, "I'll come back, Max. Sorry. I really should have-"
"No!" She paused, clearing her throat. "I mean, no, Fang. Come in. We were just…talking. He was in town for work and sometimes he comes to see me."
Fang frowned at Dylan. When he had seen Dylan, though it was very briefly, it had been in New York, far away from Max. He had been in town for work then too and stopped in to check on Angel. Fang had been under the impression that Dylan and Max didn't have any cards on the table and were nothing to each other. If he had known otherwise, he wouldn't have even spoke to the other man when he saw him.
"Here." Max took the bags of food. "Carter, Fang brought us dinner. Can you say thank you?"
"No!"
"Carter, don't tell me no."
"No!" She ran at Fang. "Owl, no!"
He just stared down at her. "Yeah. No."
"No!" She patted his knee caps. "Mommy, Owl. Dyl, Owl."
"What?"
"That's what she calls Fang," Max told him, but didn't offer up any other explanation. "How'd you get here, Fang? Walk? You really don't need to be doing that. I'll take you to get your license and then you can borrow my-"
"Your mom dropped me off. I was with her today."
"Why?"
He just shook his head and Max left it alone. Then, to establish his importance to Carter over Dylan, he spoke to her.
"Do you like chicken? I got you macaroni."
"Mac!' She patted his leg again before rushing over to Max who had sat down on the couch, way too close to Dylan, Fang might add.
Closing the door behind him, Fang said, "I'll get plates."
"I'll help," Max said, giving Dylan the food bags before following him into the kitchen area. Fang glanced back at Dylan before at her. Max took his silence as a question and said, "I told you before, Fang, nothing ever has worked out between me and him and nothing ever will."
"Carter likes him."
"Carter likes having someone who will do whatever she says. He just tries to please her. That's not what she needs. She has Ella, Mom, and Nudge for that." Max opened one of the cabinets. "She's need stability anyways. Dylan's never around. Not to mention, I'm not interested in him."
Fang saw a 12 pack of cokes and asked for one. Max instead went over to the fridge and pulled him a cold one out.
"You only drink hot," Fang mumbled as she handed him one.
"I know you like cold." She shivered for show. "It hurts my teeth though, cold drinks."
"I know. You probably have sensitive teeth."
"Probably," she agreed, smiling. "Thanks for dinner, Fang."
"You bought my dinner last night." He looked away as Max got forks for the macaroni. "I, um, you…your mom took me to my counselor today."
"How'd it go?"
He shrugged. Max just sighed.
"We'll get you help, Fang. We'll find you someone." She smiled at him before walking back into the living room. There was a slight problem with where they were going to all sit, but Carter, who was sitting on the floor, immediately wanted Fang to sit with her. He took that as a good sign and did as asked.
"Eat with a fork, baby," Max told her, but Carter ignored that as she used her hands to eat. Fang shook his head, scooting away from her. He didn't want her to touch him with her nasty hands.
"So, uh, Fang, how long are you staying for?" Dylan asked.
Forever. He just shrugged though, not wanting to acknowledge Dylan.
"Owl," Carter giggled, watching him. "G'anny."
"Hmmm?" Max looked at her daughter. "What?"
"I, uh, went over to Ella's today, when she was there."
"Oh," Max said. "So you've met Seb."
Oh, he met him. Instead of saying anything on that though, Fang just nodded.
"He's a real big help, with Carter and Evan. I'm sure the two of you will get along well."
Fang just nodded, not commenting.
After they finished eating, Max went to do the dishes and though both men offered to help, she denied any. Not to mention Dylan had to back to his hotel and pack; his flight left in about four hours.
"It's been good seeing you, Max," he told her after rinsing his plate. "I'll call you next time I'm in town, alright?"
She nodded as they awkwardly hugged. After nodding at Fang and picking Carter up for a kiss, he was gone. Then there were three.
"Sure you don't need help, Max?"
"No, but can you keep Carter entertained? She seems to have warmed up to you."
He glanced back into the living room, where the little girl was climbing onto the couch, apparently prepared for some television.
"I can," he whispered. "If you're sure you don't need help."
"Go."
Sighing, Fang went over to the couch and sat down. Carter glanced at him before back at the television, trying to hint him along. Picking up the remote, Fang turned on the TV to find it was already on a cartoon. Perfect. At least this would keep her quiet.
"Owl." Carter scooted closer to him. "Shhh."
"Shhh," he mimicked.
By the time Max joined them, Carter was mostly falling asleep and Fang was just watching the clock that was on the wall.
"I need to bathe her before she goes to bed," Max told Fang, coming to pick her up. "You can stay if you want, but I won't be able to give you a ride home tonight unless we go before."
"I'll walk. Or fly. Or whatever."
Max nodded a little. "Come on, Carter. Owl will be here when you finish your bath."
She cuddled against Max. "Bubble?"
"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow." Max smiled at Fang. "She loves bubble baths."
He just nodded a little bit, having no idea how to use that information. At all. After Max left, he pulled out the cell phone that Dr. Martinez had given him when he first got out to check to see if he had any messages. He did. One from Iggy. After playing it, he found that Iggy was offering up the Texan life again. Fang texted back that he was going to stay around the girls for awhile, help out.
When Max got back, Carter was in her pajamas and had a stuffed animal with her.
"Owl," she called to him. "Now."
"Now what?"
Max came out of the bathroom with her dirty clothes. "It's story time."
"Oh."
"She wants you to listen to one, probably. She likes to get everyone involved in story time. She would have had Dylan come listen too, if he hadn't had to leave."
Fang stood slowly. What else did he have to do? Go back to the hotel and be all alone? He was honestly just glad that Carter wanted to include him in her life. He knew that bringing that mac'n'cheese would be a good in.
"It's so hot, Fang," Max told him as she led him to one of the bedroom. "You don't want to take your jacket off?"
"No."
"You sure?"
He nodded slightly. "I'm, uh…I'm sure."
"No," Carter told Max. "Owl no."
"He knows what?"
"No. He no."
"He knows what?" Max looked to him. "What do you know?"
"She means…she kept…pushing up my sleeves. I told her no." Fang scratched the back of his neck as Max opened the little girl's bedroom door. "I, um…I don't…like showing…my arms to…people."
"That's fine." Max glanced back at her. "Trust me, Fang, I just want you to be comfortable around us."
"I want her to be comfortable around me," he said. "You too. The two of you."
Carter rushed into her room. "Owl!"
He walked in there slowly, Max trailing behind.
"So, uh, what do you read her?" It wasn't lost on Fang that he had to use his voice a lot more when he was with Max, but he kind of liked it.
"These," she said, going over to a small stack of books. "Dr. Seuss and stuff. Little kid things. Most of them were Seb's when he was a little boy. They'll be Evan's next. If we can ever get this one to share."
Fang rubbed his wrists slowly. "So, uh, pick a book, Carter."
"No. Owl." She pointed to the stack before climbing onto her bed. "Owl."
"She wants you to," Max told him as she went and got into bed with Carter, pulling her into her lap. The little girl laughed, cuddling against her mother.
Fang was slow with making his choice, not knowing where to go after that. He couldn't go get into bed with the two of them. Number one, the toddler bed wasn't big enough, but also…there was no way they were to that level yet. So instead, after making his choice, he sat down on the floor, his knees pulled up.
"Owl?" Carter asked. "Mommy?"
"Owl's gonna read to us tonight. Huh, Owl?"
He nodded a little bit, opening the book. "Okay, um, I'll read."
Carter cuddled her teddy, Robbie, to her, settling down. Fang read slowly, uncertain with himself. He hadn't had to really read in years, even if this was just a children's book. Not to mention his voice gave in certain parts as he wasn't used to speaking so much. After he was finished though, Carter insisted on another and he quickly caved, wanting to please her.
Once she was finally ready to hit the hay, Max led Fang from the room, headed back to the now dark living room. She sat down on the couch, expecting him to sit down next to her.
"So now what?" Fang asked as Max just sat there.
"You wanna watch TV?"
"Not really. Do you?" He hunched forward, closing his eyes. "If not, I could just leave. I mean-"
"Fang, stop trying please me." She bumped their knees together. "You wanna play cards or something? I have a deck."
"Nah."
"Then what? You wanna talk?"
He took a deep breath. "I just wanna, kind of, you know…sit here. With you. For awhile. If that's okay."
Max smiled at him in the darkness, even though he wasn't look at her to see. "That's perfect."
He didn't mean to scare her. He didn't mean to scare himself. He didn't mean to do a lot of things in his life. But he did them.
"What?" Max shot up from her spot on the couch. "What?"
Fang had jumped up, screaming. It was so dark. His dream, it had been so bright. Where was he?
"Fang?" She got up to touch him, but he shoved her away, still confused. What was going on? "Fang, it's me. Are you hurt?"
He was breathing too hard to answer. Max rushed to go turn on a light, thinking that would solve their problems.
"See?" She asked once the light was on. "It's just me. You had a dream. You're safe."
Fang was shivering even in his jacket. "What?"
"It was just a dream. A bad dream." She came closer again, but didn't touch her. "You scared the shit out of me though."
Fang glanced around. "We're…we're…Where are we?"
"My apartment. You're okay. We fell asleep, remember?"
He looked back at the couch and found that there was now a blanket and pillow there. Max must have curled up on her half, consciously making the decision to go to sleep, while Fang's body had just given out, giving itself up to slumber.
"We…What?"
Max bit her lip as a crying began from somewhere. "Carter's scared. I have to go get her."
As soon as she was gone, Fang did a thorough search of the living area before checking out the bathroom. Next was the other bedroom, the only place he hadn't seen yet.
"What are you doing?"
He turned to find Max coming into the room also. "Checking. I'm sorry."
She shook her head, going over to her bed and depositing Carter. The little girl was now silent, but watching both of them as she sucked her thumb, Robbie under one arm.
"Here," Max mumbled, tucking her in. "It was just Fang. He had a bad dream. You know how those are. They're so scary, huh?"
"Owl?" Carter mumbled, looking at them in the darkness. For the first time, Fang saw movement from under Carter's shirt. Wings.
"He's fine now. So are you. I'll be right back, okay? I won't shut the door or anything. I just need to take care of Owl."
Carter nodded slowly, cuddling into her mother's bed. Max took Fang's hand and led him out of the room, not saying anything. Once they were in the living room though, she started.
"You can't go home."
"Huh?"
"I don't want you to flip out alone. Have you taken your medicine for the night?"
"No."
"That's part of the problem, Fang."
"I don't need it. Not constantly."
"You can't just pick and ch-"
"You know what, Max? I don't need this right now."
"Fang-"
"You want me to go get my medicine, right?" He put on his shoes. "I'll go, alright? I'll go get it."
"Fang, don't-"
"I'm sorry that I scared her, alright? I'm sorry I scared you."
"Come back, okay? After you-"
"No. I'm gonna go to the hotel and go to bed." He shook his head at her, unsuccessfully trying to rid it of all thoughts. "Tell Carter I said I'm sorry."
"Fang-"
"I have to go." He made his escape quick and to the point. After he was out in the night air, he took a deep breath, letting the cold wind whip him. It would be a long walk back. At least it would help him clear his head.
Why had he freaked out back there? He knew that Max was just trying to help, but telling him what to do wouldn't do any good. At all. He was supposed to take care of her, not the other way around. That's the way it had always been. Even when they were kids. Max might have mothered the others, but she always knew her place with him was just as friends. Best friends, sure, but not mother and son. At all. She was good at what she did, sure, but still. Fang wasn't a kid. He didn't need her help.
When he got back to his place, Fang took his concoction of pills that were supposed to help clear his mind, but only really succeeded in making him dependant on them. Sighing loudly, he then went to take a piss before climbing into bed, praying that he wouldn't have another nightmare.