Chapter 5-Hygiene for Dummies

"JIMMY!" A lady screamed as she ran toward the accident. Simon ran up to Jace.

"Dude, you just ran over a little kid" He said. Jace was very confused; he didn't know what to do. Should he run, stay there and yell, apologize? It was all a blur.

"YOU! You ran over my son!" The lady ran over to Jace and did not look happy AT ALL.

"Umm, yea I'm really sorry miss, is their anyway I can repay you? I have 2 dollars right here. Oh and a pack of mints." Jace said showing her the mints. "I don't want you stupid mints, you nearly killed my son!" she screamed. Then the ambulance and police cars came. The angry lady went over to talk to a police officer pointing to Jace. The officer trotted over.

"Sir, I need to see your license and registration please" The officer said sounding uninterested in what he did.

"Oh geez umm Officer "Gorilla" I don't have a license or registration, I was just riding around for fun you know? I wasn't technically driving." Jace said

"Oh ok then, and its pronounced GORIA, the two ells are silent I'm Spanish." The officer said and walked away casually. The lady did not look happy about that. She looked even angrier. "What?! That's all? Officer this person almost killed my son with his death machine! And alls you're going to do is walk away as if nothing has happened?" She asked. "All of you men are despicable idiots, my son almost died because of this unlicensed man person whatever he is, and you are you are you are all of you are just as-"She started but the officer stopped her.

"Ma'am I'm getting my handcuffs, now calm down Mrs. Robinson or I'm going to have to send you to jail with him." Officer Gorilla said calmly. The lady brushed her shirt down and smoothed her hair. "Oh ok then, take him away." She said and walked toward Jace. "As for you mister, I'll see you in court." She said. "In despicable" she mumbled as she walked toward the ambulance and off to the hospital.

"Simon bail me out ok?" Jace whispered quickly

"Hell no man, I don't have 5 million dollars. You almost KILLED someone." Simon coughed."It costs more than stealing a pack of gum from Sheetz" Jace's face turned red.

"Great now I'm sweating. Good thing I brought deodorant in my multi pocketed coat." Jace said and walked over to the officer. "Bye SIMON!" He said smiling. Simon stood still but raised a hand to wave. "Ok Officer G. Take me away man. I never rode in a Police car before; you should be glad that you're taking me on my first ride! Not a lot of people are even allowed to talk to me-"The officer cut him off by pushing him up to the side of the car and putting on his handcuffs. "Yo dude, easy on the masterpiece, my arms get stiff easily and trust me its not pretty man."

"Ok, pretty boy, maybe you should have remembered that before you ran over an innocent pedestrian."

"Hey well maybe he shouldn't have been walking in the middle of the freaking road, I mean COME ON, he wasn't even going across the cross walk. You know those white lines?" Jace said trying to hypnotize the officer.

"Yea I know what a cross walk is Mr. Gorgeous."

"Why thank you very much, I think I'm gorgeous too. So do you love me or what?" Jace asked wondering if that might do the trick.

"Look mister, I don't like you love you, or even care about you're hygiene, I just want my lunch."

Jace could not figure out why his hypnotizing wasn't working. He couldn't remember what he did with Clary that one day. Oh my gosh, maybe I have early Alzheimer's. Does that hypnotize people? Hmm man, maybe I should kiss him or something. Nah that would be nasty. I get sick watching Alec and Mag make out already. Jace thought and made a sick face. He was off to jail, for 25 years. Where's Donald Trump when you need him?

Clary was in the garden when Simon called her. "Hey boyfriend" she said

"Jace ran over a little kid. Now he's going to jail for 25 years." Simon said casually.

"HE WHAT?" she asked

Simon Sighed. "He ran over a kid named Jimmy now he has to go to jail-"

"Simon I was just saying that for a dramatic touch."

"Oh, well that was lame." The phone when dead. Clary was off to Jail.

The bed's are pretty comfortable, if you were FIVE FEET TALL!. Jace's feet hung over the end of the bed. And his jail partner, Warren, smelled like rotten eggs. "Hey, Warren do they have showers in here?" Jace asked. Warren looked up at him. His face was really angry looking and his eyes were red. Ok they were brown.

"Yea, you can take them if you choose to, the time limit is one minute though. They don't count Mississippi's either. Its sucks." Warren said.

"Uh huh, I guess you chose not to. Here, I have some body cream in my pocket-"Jace reached for his pocket, but the police took it from him. "Shiz they took my coat."

"They took my hand, and my right eyeball." Warren said pointing under his eye patch and lifting up his handless arm. Jace gulped in fear. "Wwwwwww why did they dddd o that?" Jace stuttered. Warren busted out laughing. Jace chuckled and ruled away. Then one of the body guards came in.

"Ok Mr. What's you're name?" he asked

"My name is Ricky Bobby." Jace said. "You can call me Rick though."

"You have a visitor Mr. Bob-"

"Rick"

"Mr. Rick" He said and Clary walked/ well kind of ran in. She ran to the jail bars. "Jace, are you ok?" She asked. "Yea Clary I'm fine, they took my coat though, and my hygiene." He said

"You poor baby. Jace you ran over a little boy! What else would you expect?! Now you can't be in here, you have an appointment with Dr. Mocha tomorrow at three. I can't reschedule."

"Who's Dr. Mocha? Ahh never mind. I have to be at court tomorrow with some lady who hates me and I don't know how to hypnotize people anymore." Jace said sadly

"Jace, I don't feel bad for you at all. First, you embarrass everyone at a baseball game, then you run over a little boy, And this constant obsessing has to end, I'm finding you a medication or at least finding out what the hay is wrong with you" Clary said seriously

"Oh ok then, but first give me one of you're mints, I smell like a old dog. And Mr. Egg breath over here isn't helping." Jace said quietly. "No" Clary said and got up.

"Do you know him miss?" The officer asked Clary.

"Unfortunately" She said

"Well here are his things that we found in his coat. You can take them with you" He said handing her a whole box overflowing with hygienic things. Clary rolled her eyes, and went over to Jace. "Ok Jace, here is what the plan is." She whispered the plan to him, and got up and left.

"WHAT!? NOT EVEN MY DEODERANT?" Jace screamed.