Catch and Release
Chapter 17
"Why didn't you tell me Angel was gay?"
Nudge didn't even look up from her phone as Fang climbed into her car. Max had told them both that they couldn't hangout together anymore so they weren't; Evan was riding along.
"Because she's not. She's a lesbian. There's a difference, ya know."
"Oh, sorry," Fang said sarcastically, slumping back in his seat, waiting for Nudge to pull away from the curb. "Then how come we're not different, huh? I like women and you like guys, pussy guys, but guys, yet we're both straight."
"Don't play political correctness on me right now, Fang. Besides, I didn't say anything because I assumed you knew. Everyone knows. Evan probably knows. It's not like anyone was hiding it from you." Nudge finally looked up. "Her girlfriend was at your apartment, after all."
"What?"
"Wasn't she? She came from New York to see Angel. Max said-"
"They slept in my bed!"
"So? That wasn't enough of a hint?"
"I thought they were just close friends."
"Jeez, I didn't know you were such homophobe."
"I'm not. I wouldn't want you screwing one of your guys in my bed either."
"The nerve of you, Fang. My 'guys'?" She finally cranked the car. "God."
He just sighed, shaking his head. "You guys made me look like an idiot. All those times I kept telling Angel that she couldn't have any guys over… I said that in front of the chick! Her girlfriend! Now she'll think I'm an idiot too. How can I ever talk to her again, huh? When I looked like a jerk in front of her?"
"You still talk to me and let me tell you-"
"Shut up, Nudge."
"I'm seeing a trend around here."
"Yeah? And what would that be?"
"I'm extremely nice to you and then you say mean things about me."
"Oh, you're extremely nice? Really, Nudge? Really? I'd hate to see you being just regular nice then because you're kind of-"
"I'm helping you out today, Fang, so I'd shut your face."
"I could have walked down there myself."
"But you're not, so shut up."
He just sighed. "I'm not even sure why I have to go."
"Because, Fang, Seb has a lead role in his school play. That means we all go."
"And why couldn't I have driven with Max and Carter?"
"I don't know. It's just easier for me to pick you up."
"Easier for who?"
"You are the most ungrateful-"
"I'm ungrateful?" Fang shook his head. "You owe everything to me, Nudge, so lose the attitude."
She just shook her head. "You know what? Get out."
"What?"
"Get out. You can walk to the stupid play."
"Screw that."
When she pulled over, Nudge didn't really think Fang would get out, but he did. She had honestly just been teasing him, but then he had to go act like a big baby. That's all he ever acted like. An overly emotional baby. God.
Fang just turned, walking off, away from the SUV, headed back the way he had come. The play was at six; it was only five now. After the play, they were all supposed to go out to dinner, so Fang would show up for that, but he wasn't going to that dang play if he didn't have to.
Since he had some time to kill, Fang went wandering around the city, headed towards the downtown area, as that was where the restaurant was where he'd need to meet the others. On his way there, Fang passed a soccer field, where some little kids, too young to even really play the game, were out on the field, running around. As he had so much time to do nothing, he walked over there.
There were about twenty some odd toddlers, looking very cute in their little soccer uniforms Fang might add, running around the field, trying to get at a ball. Each goalie was preoccupied in their own worlds, the red team's goalie busy picking flowers to put in her hair and the blue team's eating one of his scabs.
"Which one's yours?"
Fang glanced at the dude he was standing next to, shaking his head. "None. I just have a, uh, kid around their age. Aren't they a little young to be playing?"
"Eh, they really just run around. Gets them ready for bed time," said the woman on the other side of him. "That's my boy, Ryan. The goalie?"
"He's eating his scabs again, Lydia," the guy on the other side of Fang said, but she just shrugged.
Fang watched the kids play for awhile, observing how the adults kept them from running into each other or hurting one another, wanting to see if there were any injuries. When he was sure that they had it all under control, he asked one of the parents for a form, now satisfied that this game was safe enough for his toddler.
Not his toddler, no. His friend. His best friend. Yeah.
"Where were you? Do you know how worried I've been? You left your stupid phone in Nudge's-"
Fang just kissed Max, holding her face for a second before taking a step back. "I made it, didn't I?"
Max had been waiting outside the restaurant for him, having a feeling that he would show eventually. She just sighed, rolling her eyes before glancing at his other hand.
"What's that?"
"Forms."
"For?"
"Carter."
"What?"
"I'm signing her up for soccer."
"Fang-"
"I'll take her and everything. It'll be fun. I saw some kids playing it. There's a spot open on the yellow team and the red team. Blue's all filled and black is two towns over, so-"
"She's a freaking baby, Fang."
"She's a toddler. It's a toddler league." He waved the forms at her. "Just fill them out for me, huh? Now come on, let's go eat."
"We're not done talking about you not coming to Seb's play."
"Let's talk tonight." Fang went and opened the door. "After you."
She sent him a look. "I don't know what you're on-"
"Just excited. For Carter. She'll be happy. And it'll help her social skills. Maybe teach her to talk in full sentences, huh?" He followed Max back to their table, where his seat was waiting for him, right next to Carter.
"Owl."
"Hi."
"Go?"
"I was busy finding you something to do during the day." Everyone at the table was looking at him now, but Fang just focused on Carter. "You wanna play soccer?"
"Sock'more?"
"It's a game."
"Owl come?"
"I can. I'll watch you play with the other kids. It'll be fun."
Carter nodded a little bit before eating the chips that Max had sat in front of her. They were at the Mexican restaurant that Max had taken him on one of their dates, so she had already ordered for him, which was nice of her. Kind of.
"Owl coke."
Fang let Carter take a sip of his drink as he glanced around the table, effectively making the others look away. Everyone except for Dr. Martinez.
"Where were you, Fang?" She asked, staring at him. "You can't just run off like that."
"Nudge kicked me out of the car."
"I did not." She frowned over at him. "And if I did-"
"Oh lord," Max mumbled.
"-it was for a good reason."
Fang let Carter feed him a chip, not speaking. When he swallowed, he asked, "Where's Angel?"
Dr. Martinez cleared her throat. "She decided not to come."
Sebastian sighed, taking a sip of his drink. Glancing down the table, Fang stared at the boy before looking back at Carter.
"Red or yellow?"
She just smiled at him. "Wed."
"Red. Re. Re. Not Wa." He patted her on the head. "Okay. Good. I like red."
She nuzzled into his hand before eating another chip. "Mommy. Tummy."
"The food will get here when it gets here, Carter."
"Owl. Nub." She smiled across the table at Nudge. "Evan. Owl."
Fang mostly ignored everyone during dinner. He didn't care to talk to anyone anyways, now that he was busy planning his afternoons around Carter's soccer practices and games. It would be fun… Wait. Did soccer games make him uncool?
After dinner, Fang went with Max and Carter back to their place. After all, it was bath time.
"Owl."
He was carrying her into the apartment, feeling horribly tired. "Stop wiggling."
"Can you bathe her?" Max asked, yawning. "I can, I guess. I'm off tomorrow, but I'm really-"
"I've got her." He carried her into the bathroom. "We need more bubbles, huh, Holden?"
"Hold'em. Yes, Owl." She went to go stand by the side of the tub, staring down into it. "Owl?"
"Hmmm?" He had gotten distracted by his reflection in the mirror. His beard was hot, if he could say so himself.
"Seb p'ay."
"Did you like it?"
"Yes. Yes, Owl. No tawk. Mommy say."
"That's right. You have to be quiet. You were a very good girl. You know that?"
"Yes. Yes, Hold'em. Yes, Owl." Carter held her arms above her head, ready to be undressed. "Me!"
After bath time, in which Fang only got splashed about five times, he took Carter into Max's room for story time.
"This is becoming too frequent."
"What is?" Fang asked as he sat Carter down on the bed.
"Her sleeping in here."
"I like it."
"That's because you have separation anxiety."
Fang just shrugged. "I want her to be in here with us. She wants to be in here with us. Why shouldn't we both get what we want?"
"Hold'em. Me p'ay game, Mommy. Owl come sees. Owl comes 'n' sees. Owl?"
"Yep." He laid down on bed with them, though he didn't get under the covers.
"Hot, Fang?"
"Kind of."
"You've got shorts on under your jeans?"
"Boxers."
"At least pull those off."
"N-"
"I don't want you to burn to death."
"I won't," he said as Carter cuddled into his jacket. As his jacket was unzipped, Carter curled against his t-shirt, wrapping the jacket flaps around her. "Comfy?"
"Owl."
He fought a smile as she nuzzled into his stomach. "Just think, Max. Our girl's gonna be an athlete."
"Our girl?"
Fang cleared his throat. "Your girl and my…girlfriend's daughter, I guess."
"No, no, call her what you want." She watched her daughter, who seemed to be noticing for the first time that she didn't have her stuffed animals with her. Max got up briefly, going to get Lockheed and Robbie before coming back to them, climbing right back into bed.
"She's so wiggly today." Fang pushed Carter's stomach gently inward, making the little girl giggle. "And squishy. Soccer's gonna take good care of that."
"Sq'ish." Reaching behind her, Carter poked his stomach. "Sq'ish."
Max sighed, settling down on her stomach. "God, I want to go to sleep for five years. That's how tired a feel."
"Sorry," Fang mumbled, snuggling Carter to him. "After story time, we'll be quiet."
Max closed her eyes. "What's the story gonna be about, Fang?"
"Uh…a penguin."
"What?"
"Yeah. A penguin." Fang drug Carter up to tuck her head under his. She turned to look up, kissing under his chin before settling down to hear the story.
"What about the penguin?" Max asked.
"The penguin went away for awhile, to, uh, penguin college."
"Peng'ins."
"Yep." Fang cuddled the little girl to him. "When he got back though, something had changed."
"Wha'?"
"His friend the polar bear had moved."
"Uh-oh."
"Yeah, uh-oh," Fang whispered, watching Max as she drifted off. "So the penguin searched and searched and searched. And you know what? He couldn't find his friend!"
"No."
"Yes." Fang felt his own eyes droop. "So he headed back to penguin college and on the way, he found that the polar bear was heading back from there, having gone up to the college to look for his friend. So they reunited and lived happily ever after."
"Yay."
"Yeah." Fang let out a long breath. "Yay."
"Peng'in find f'iend. Good peng'in. Happy peng'in. Love peng'in." She yawned. "Love Owl."
"What?"
Max peeked her eyes open. "What'd you say, Carter?"
Now bashful, Carter just giggled, twisting in Fang's arms. "Owl."
"You love him?" Max prompted.
"Owl."
"It's okay if you do." Max glanced at Fang, who had also opened his eyes again. "I love him."
Fang swallowed. "Max, don't make her-"
"Love Owl!" Carter turned fully in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Owl!"
"Carter, calm down."
She nuzzled his neck. "Owl. Big Owl. Love. Hoo." She kissed his cheek. "Hoo. Hoo. Owl."
Fang stare down at her for a second. "Hoo."
When Max moved closer to them, Fang opened his wings to wrap one around them, protecting the three of them from everything.
"Hoo." Max came even closer, leaning up to kiss Fang's pursed lips right as he mimicked the word back.
"Me." Carter looked back at her mother. "Mommy."
After planting a soft kiss to her daughter's head, Max told them both that she was tired; she was ready for bed.
"Nigh-nigh." Carter made Max kiss both her stuffed animals before also drifting off.
"You're off tomorrow too?" Max asked Fang, watching him while trying to keep her voice down.
"Yes."
"Good. We can stay in bed all morning, huh? Together?"
Fang snuggled Carter, who had somehow managed to fall asleep already. "Yeah. Then I'll make us breakfast."
"I don't even know if we have anything good."
"It'll be fine. I'll manage to make something." Fang let out a slow breath. "You didn't have to make her say that, you know."
"Make her? She said it first. I only got her to say it again." Max smiled softly, snuggling into her pillow. "She does love you. We love you. You're our Owl." Turning her head, she kissed his black wing. "Owl. It's so cute, now that we've all, but forgotten why she calls you that."
Fang closed his eyes tightly. "I just don't think… Where does she think her dad is?"
"She doesn't."
"What?"
"That's not a word she knows, I guess. Or at least she's never said it."
"Well, at the very least, kids on her soccer team will have dads. You should teach her."
"Speaking of soccer-"
"Here we go."
"-isn't it kind of cold for soccer?"
Fang shook his head slightly. "They play until December and then start back up in March."
"That's a long season."
"There is no season. It's more of a daycare than anything. Plus, it tires the kids down."
"If she doesn't like it-"
"Then she doesn't have to do it. Max, I'm not going to ever force her to do something, unless it's, like, very important. Not to mention…I'm just the boyfriend. I don't have any real control over her."
"For now."
"Hmmm?"
"You're the boyfriend…for now."
"For now?"
"Yeah." She yawned a little bit. "Good or bad, just for now. Anything can happen."
Leaving it at that, Fang took a deep breath, shutting his eyes one last time. Just for now…
"You could have told me, you know."
Angel glanced up from her laptop. She was on Fang's bed, updating her social media sites. "Told you what?"
"About the…you know." Fang came futher into the room. Max was waiting outside for him, in the car with Carter for him to change clothes and get some cash.
"What, Fang?"
"About how you're all…gay and stuff. I wouldn't have been mad if that's what you-"
"What?" Angel frowned, finally just shutting the laptop.
"Max told me. You don't have to be mad at her-"
"Why would I be mad at her?"
"Well…you were hiding it from me."
"Honestly, Fang, I couldn't care less what you think of me, much less of who I love or sleep with." She opened the laptop again. "Was that all?"
"Just…You know Dr. Martinez is old. She may not be comfortable with…this and you shouldn't be mad at her. She's really religious-"
"What are you going on about now?" She frowned at him.
"That's why you two don't get along, right? Because you're…so she…Don't make me say it."
"Are you okay, Fang? Do you need your medicine or something?"
Well, actually…
"No. I mean, yeah, but I-"
"Are you that stupid to think that Valencia dislikes me because I have a girlfriend? Really?" Angel rolled her eyes heavily, making Fang angry. She was acting like he was a complete idiot and he wasn't. He was trying to break the ice. God. And he hadn't even yelled at her yet for sleeping with that woman in his bed. Whether they did…that or not, it still pissed him off. He wouldn't want Nudge and whoever she was with that week in his bed either. Or Ella, if she dated. Or even Iggy. Yeah, definitely not Iggy and his girl…
"Don't you talk to me like that, Angel. I'm trying to be sympathetic."
"Oh, because this is a disease?"
"No! Sympathetic because Dr. Martinez doesn't like you because-"
"You're a real idiot, you know that?" Angel shook her head, going back to the laptop once more. "We're fighting because she won't fix me."
"Fix you what?"
"Fix me, Fang. I don't trust any doctor or Jeb or someone to do it."
"What's wrong with you?"
"My brain," she explained, still staring at her laptop. "She can fix what went wrong."
"What went wrong?"
"My…wiring, I guess. It's why I can't use all of my powers anymore. I've asked her, hundreds of times, to help me, to fix me, but she won't. She's scared she'll mess something up, says she can't do anything for me."
"Maybe she can't."
"Maybe. Maybe not." Angel shook her head. "And yes, Fang, she doesn't like that I'm a lesbian. Yes, she is super religious. But no, she didn't kick me out because of it. I can stay there when I visit, but only if Melissa doesn't stay with me."
"Melissa?"
"My girlfriend. God, what do you know?"
He ignored her now, going over to his closet and pulling his shirt over his head before pulling another one on.
"Where are you going?"
He rubbed on some deodorant. "With Max and Carter. We're going to lunch."
"Ooh, good, I'm hungry."
"I don't remember you being invited."
"Let's just ask Max, huh? And then I'll tell her what a freak you were, coming in here and insulting Mel-"
"I did not."
"Who will she believe? Me or the suicidal fool that constantly needs medicine to keep himself sane?"
Fang just bit his tongue as Angel went to get ready. She did have a point, as much as he hated it.
"Owl."
He frowned as he had to get into the backseat, as Angel had taken the front.
"Angel's gonna ride up here with me," Max told Fang as he buckled up. "Okay?"
He just shrugged as Carter reached over, poking his cheek. "Owl."
"Stop." He grabbed her finger, holding it for a second before letting it go. "Stop."
"Owl!" She jerked her hand away, as if he had hurt her, as if he ever could. "No!"
"Shhh, Carter," Max said from the front before going back to talking to Angel about something. Ugh. Fang remembered the days when he was Max's main priority. Now he was somewhere behind Carter (understandably) and Angel (a little less understandable). It was sickening.
"Owl. Robbie."
He glanced down at the floorboard of the car before getting her the stupid bear. "Here."
"Robbie." With that, Carter finally fell silent as she began to chew on the bear's nose. At least it kept her quiet.
"-gonna go back?" Max was asking as Fang tuned back into them.
"Soon, I'm thinking. Your mom isn't budging any of helping me out."
Fang leaned back, sighing.
"You think anymore about, you know, staying here for awhile?" Max turned the radio completely down finally. "I just think that it would be best, for now, if you-"
"I'm going down to Florida soon," Angel told her simply before promptly changing the subject. "So, Max, did Fang tell you how interested he is in lesbians?"
"What?"
"Hey!" Fang frowned, sitting up. "Damn it, Angel, you said-"
"No cursing, Fang," Max said, frowning back at him. "And what's wrong?"
"She said…she…I didn't do anything!"
"Calm down," Max ordered. "God."
"You really should take something for your temper, Fang," Angel scolded.
The thing was though, Fang wasn't angry. At all. He was embarrassed. She was trying to make him look bad, like he was some old prude or something. Why did Angel always have to be such a brat? Huh? He hadn't offended her or something, back at the apartment. Or at least he didn't intend to! Why did she have to be so…her like?
"Owl." Carter reached over, patting him. "No mean, Mommy! No mean, An'el!"
Angel groaned. "Max, can you make her call me something else? Please?"
Max, however, was no longer concerned with Angel, her fears for Fang now moving back to her unstable boyfriend.
"Fang, are you okay?"
"I'm not interested in that, Max."
"It was a joke. Angel's joking. Besides, Fang, it's not that big of a deal." Max glanced at him in the review mirror. "Angel, tell him sorry."
"He's a grown-"
"Now."
"Sorry, Fang," she mumbled, crossing her arms. Fang just shook his head. What was with Max? Did she honestly think that a sorry would make everything better?
"Owl sad. Bad Mommy. Bad An'el." Carter held out Robbie to Fang, thinking that if he just chewed on the bear a little, he'd feel better. Fang just shook his head at her, not speaking. Shrugging, Carter went back to happily chomping on her stuffed companion.
"Angel, get Carter out," Max said when they finally pulled up to the place. "I need to talk to Fang."
He didn't want to talk to Max. At all. When did his opinion ever matter anyways?
"Hi, Carter," Angel cooed as she came around to get his friend.
"An'el."
"You wanna go inside and get a table while Mommy and Owl talk? Huh? Yeah."
Max came around to Fang's side of the car, waiting for him to get out. Taking a deep breath, he did so, though he didn't particularly want to.
"If there's something wrong with you, tell me now."
"Max-"
"Then you need to shape up, Fang. I know that you have…problems, but I think half the time you're just faking, wanting to throw a fit, so you pretend to be mental."
He frowned. "I'm not crazy, Max."
She sighed, reaching up to grasp his jacket. Then, slowly, she pulled him closer, bringing him in for a soft peck. "Just…can you act normal? Just this once? I don't get to spend a lot of time with Angel. Not nearly enough anyways. She's my baby. Let me enjoy this."
"What about me?"
"You're my…everything, okay, but can you just take care of yourself for an hour or two and let me take care of someone else?"
Though his scowl remained, Fang followed Max into the restaurant like the complaint little fool he was. Just like always.
After a lunch of fast food, Fang went with the girls to the store, having to go grocery shopping with them, which sucked. Max, at least, let Carter and Fang go off on their own, to the toy section.
"Puppa."
Fang frowned, watching as Carter went over to a low shelf where some stuffed animals were.
"No, Carter. Max said one toy. We have enough stuffed animals." He walked away slightly, headed towards the toy cars and action figures. "Come here."
Interested, Carter told her inanimate doggie to stay before rushing to follow Owl. Again, she never wanted to get lost.
"Owl?" She came to stand next to him, staring at the man, who now had a gun in his hand. Brand? Nerf.
"Do you know how much fun we could have with one of these? I always wanted one." Fang sat that specific gun down before picking up a box that held another. "Nerf, Carter. Nerf."
What? It was beginning to dawn on her that Owl was trying to take her doggie away.
"No. No, Owl." She crossed her arms. "Puppa."
"You have puppies, Carter. We need guns! To protect the puppies."
"Owl," she whined, stomping her feet now. "Owl."
"Well don't cry about it. God." He put the toy back. "We'll get the gun later."
After leaving the store, still Nerfless, Max headed back home, taking Fang and Angel with her.
"An'el," Carter called, walking into her bedroom, new stuffed animal in hand. "Me room."
Angel went off behind the girl, leaving Fang and Max to put away the groceries.
"Halloween is in a few days."
Fang put the milk in the fridge. "Yep."
"Do you…would you…want to come with me? To take Carter trick-or-treating?"
Was there a chance that he wasn't going?
"Yep."
"Oh, good. She'll want you to go." Max glanced behind her. "I want you to go."
Shuffling his feet, he watched as she put the final things away. "So, uh, what do you wanna do now?"
"Now? On my one off day this week? Nothing." She came over to him, smiling slightly. "But if you wanna do something, we could always watch TV."
"Yeah, let's do that," Fang mumbled, his wings growing tired on his back. He wanted to open them, but wasn't sure how that would look to Max. He was trying to figure out how to pose the question when Carter began to cry from the other room.
"What's wrong?" Max called, rushing in there to find Carter on the ground, wailing. She was quickly scooped up by her mother, though that did little to squelch her tears. "What happened? Angel?"
"She fell off the bed. She jumped off. She wanted me to cat-"
"Stop it, Carter," Fang said, his displeasure heavy. Max was in shock, as was Angel, seeing as Fang was normally the first to play into the little girl and her antics. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"No! No, Owl!" She wrapped her arms around Max's neck.
"You knew what would happen. I told you what would happen. You don't just say catch and expect someone to catch you. Now stop crying. You didn't even fall that far."
Max made a face. "Oh, what do you know, Fang?"
"I know that if she were really hurt, she wouldn't be crying those fake tears."
Carter spit at him. "Bad Owl! Bad!"
Shaking his head, he went back out of the room. Carter got what she needed. It was better for her to fall off the bed than jump out of a tree or something.
"You were very mean to Carter today."
"I bathed and fed her. I wasn't mean."
"I meant about her getting hurt."
Fang sighed, glancing over from his book at his girlfriend, who was curled up next to him on the bed. "What do you want me to say? She wasn't even mad at me after she finished throwing her fit. So why do you care so much?"
"I don't care that much. I just… Would you take off that damn jacket? It's hot." Max frowned at him. "You know, you took off your shirt for me that night I washed your wings, but not since. What gives?"
"Nothing." In reality, it had been dark in the bathroom. Sure, Max could see extremely well in the dark, but it had helped his nervousness. Even with the lights off, her bedroom was still illuminated by the moonlight drifting through the window. Not that she needed to know that.
"I've given you most of my life, Fang. You can at least trust me."
"What?" Annoyed, he sat up, pulling his hoodie over his head. "Happy?"
"Shirt too."
"No. No." He moved to lay back down. "I don't have to prove anything to you."
"Fang," she groaned, moving closer to him, resting her hand on him. "You're right. You don't have to ever prove something to me. Ever."
He stared up at her, shaking his head. "I work tonight."
"So do I, tomorrow morning." She leaned closer, staying close to his lips. "But who cares?"
Fang, tired of listening to Max, put his hands on her sides and forced her down, onto her back. For a second, Max's face showed her pain as her stumps for wings were forced against her back. He just stared at her for a second, slightly liking her in pain, if only because that made him in control.
"What are you?"
"Shhh," Fang whispered to her, like she might him when he was questioning their actions. She shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable.
"You're hurting me."
Fang slacked his hold on her before shifting his hands down to her sides, pushing her t-shirt up slightly. "Sorry."
Max just shook her head, leaving it turned slightly so that she could see his arms. "What did they do to you?"
Fang glanced at the crisscrossed marks on his arms. "A lot of things."
"What did you do to yourself?" She reached out and ran her finger down the mark left from when he slit the length of that arm.
"Worse things."
Leaning up, she kissed him gently. Fang just let her, stroking her stomach gently. When she pulled back, he told her, "I have them."
"Have what?"
"Condoms."
Max laughed, rolling onto her side, making Fang move off her.
"What?" He was clearly embarrassed, thinking it was him who she found so hilarious or at least a certain part of him. "What's so funny?"
"Not you, silly." She just shook her head at him slowly, a smile on her face. "You're just so…persistent."
"I just-"
"I understand, Fang. I really do. And you have been really patient." She sighed. "I just don't want-"
"It's not about me, alright?" He forced her down again. "Okay?"
"Calm down." She was beginning to get nervous. "Fang-"
"It's not all about me. You get that, right? I want…fuck what I want. We don't have to…" He huffed, staring at her. "We can do other things."
"No, Fang, seriously." She shifted out of his hold. "I just don't…I don't know."
"Then what do you want me to do, Max? Huh?"
"I don't know! Whatever you've been doing all this time seems to been working out, huh?" She made an obscene gesture with her hands, hoping to lighten the mood.
He wasn't amused. "You know what I mean."
"Fang, I just-"
"I'm not gonna hurt you."
"I know."
"No, apparently you don't. You don't think that this will be hard for me too? Huh?" He moved away, laying face down on the bed. "I had to watch what you went through too, you know? I had to deal with that. I had to live with knowing that before you died, before I thought you died, that you went through Hell. I have to live knowing that whoever raped you, one of them, one of them got to have my kid. I have to deal with that shit too, okay? So don't act like I only want one thing, alright? I want us to be okay. I just want us to be normal."
For a second or two they just both laid there, silent. Then, slowly, Max scooted closer to Fang, nuzzling under his arm until he wrapped it around her.
"Can I see the rest?"
Fang glanced at her before rolling over and sitting up, pulling his shirt over his head. Max just laid there, memorizing all the new patterns in his skin, wanting to be able to trace them with her eyes closed.
"Lay down."
Fang did so, apparently deciding to follow directions once again. "Wha-"
"Don't hide from me anymore, huh?" She cuddled against him, sighing. Then, almost as an after thought, she added, "We'll get there, Fang. Eventually."
Eventually. He just shook his head, sighing as Max a finger across one of his scars. His ow. Owl's ow.
Kissing her head gently, Fang opened his wings slightly before closing his eyes, wanting to catch a few winks before work. Max just laid there against him, not speaking. But that was okay. If they couldn't do that at least they could do this.