Buffy stopped so abruptly that Tara cannoned into her back. "Buffy?" Was something wrong? Had her question upset Buffy?
"You've been here what? A day?" Resuming their walk - albeit more slowly - Buffy scowled at the sidewalk. "And you already see right through me. That can't be good; not even Mom does that after all these years. You'll know all of my secrets soon."
Now Tara understood. She'd been right about Buffy's reluctance to approach Willow about what had happened between them. "How many secrets do you have?" she asked with a smile. They needed to keep this conversation light; too much seriousness might have Buffy running for campus and bypassing Willow completely. Tilting her head, Tara regarded Buffy closely. "I know about you being the Slayer, seen you without clothes, and I've watched you skate…minus the skates and ice. Is there something else I should see or hear?"
"Oh, God. I am so screwed." Eyes wide with exaggerated fear, Buffy turned so she faced Tara. Walking backward with her hands raised as if to ward off an attack, she pleaded, "Don't say any more. Please. Leave me at least the illusion that I'll live today down."
"Well," Tara drawled. Her smile grew. "I might agree to that if…"
Buffy dropped her hands and sidled closer. "If?" Her shoulder brushed Tara's. "If what? I make Mom promise to feed you for the rest of your life? I have Will do your homework? How about if Faith escorts you to and from all of your classes? Is that enough or do you want more?"
Enjoying the banter, Tara almost forgot the reason for their trip across town. However, Buffy's mention of Faith did the trick. "I can't believe you." She mock glowered. "Now you have me doing it, too. We are not avoiding Willow any longer. We're going to the apartment, where I'll distract Rupert long enough for you to talk to your best friend, Buffy!"
***
It was the right thing to do. Intellectually, Buffy knew that; however, the realization didn't help with the swarm of butterflies zipping around in her stomach. "Right. You're right," she mumbled. As Buffy turned away from Tara, she tried to convince herself the talk with Willow wouldn't be as bad as she imagined. They'd been through a lot already. Not to mention this wasn't even the first time Buffy had been in the wrong or hurt Willow with something she'd done.
Somehow, the memory of her previous acts of random thoughtlessness didn't make Buffy feel any more confident. The rest of the walk took on a macabre resemblance to a march to the gallows. Each step dragged at Buffy's feet, and she was only dimly aware that she and Tara were barely moving.
"At this rate, we might get there tomorrow," Tara said. "Your mom will be on her way, see us, and stop to give us a ride."
Buffy squirmed under Tara's disappointed look. "Well, at least I wouldn't have to worry about her getting munched when she carried the food up to Willow's apartment." The excuse sounded lame even to her own ears. Sighing deeply, Buffy forced her leaden legs to pick up the pace. "But then I wouldn't have a chance to talk to Will." She had to do that.
"Exactly." Tara said with a smile, and Buffy remembered the way she'd felt…or the way Cave Buffy had felt when she'd seen that expression back at the house. "That's why I'm here: to make sure you get that chance." She reached out and brushed Buffy's arm with her hand, causing a shiver in Buffy she didn't understand since it was a warm evening. "I'm sure she'll listen to what you have to say."
More likely, Willow would do all the talking. Buffy had no illusions about that. Willow had listened in the Bronze, and she'd listened to the growl and the "Buffy no like Willow" in the kitchen. To distract herself from the rapid-fire lecture she was anticipating, Buffy began scanning the area for vampires – and frowned. There weren't any. Not a single blip on the Slayer radar. "That's weird," she said.
"Why is that weird?" Tara moved closer and peered at Buffy questioningly. "Willow didn't s-seem like the kind of person who wouldn't listen to your explanations."
Oops. Buffy smiled slightly and shook her head. "No. Not that. I was searching for vampires nearby. It's weird that I didn't feel any. This is prime hunting time." A seed of honesty made her admit, "Will is a very nice person; a great friend, Tara. I hurt her a lot, and she's going to be mad…"
"That's to be expected, Buffy." Tara's eyes should be registered as lethal weapons.
Buffy flushed and wanted to flinch from the penetrating look she received. Flinch and throw herself into Tara's arms and cry.
Before the first tear could fall, though, Tara went on. "People usually get angry when they are hurt. It's a defense mechanism. True friends can get past that and forgive."
Did that mean Tara would never be able to forgive what Buffy had done to her in the past? They weren't friends. At least, not yet. Buffy straightened slightly. Tara had hung around to help with the spell, and now she was on her way to Willow's because she had volunteered to keep Giles busy. Maybe friendship wasn't completely impossible. "I hope so," she said, not entirely referring to the situation with Willow.
Almost as if Tara sensed the double meaning, she tilted her head and frowned.
Rushing in to forestall any more questions, Buffy asked, "If we find Ethan, can you stop him? I mean, stop any spells he might try?" Willow had tried to explain the nuances of magic over the years, but Buffy had never really grasped the concept.
"I d-don't know." Tara glanced down, and her hair fell forward.
Buffy frowned. Why did Tara do that? It wasn't like there was anyone else around, and she wasn't about to make fun of Tara for not knowing the answer. She reached out and slid a hand into the waterfall of blonde hair before tucking it behind Tara's ear. That was better. "OK. We'll add that to the list of things to research. We can even give it a nifty name – Eradicating Ethan. Giles will be thrilled that I actually want to do book work."
They finally reached downtown. Buffy broke off and went on alert. The lack of evil had disappeared with a bang. There were hosts of vampires pinging on the radar now.
"Tr-trouble?" Tara appeared to notice something, too. Her eyes roamed the busy sidewalks restlessly.
"Not sure," Buffy replied softly. "We've got company; although, I can't pinpoint them." It was making her nervous. The warning cramp from her senses increased the farther they got into the main business district – and she had yet to see any overt signs of the vampires. Stealth wasn't normally their thing. Talking with Willow and Giles suddenly seemed even more urgent than before. Had they missed the signs of something big hitting town? Buffy's pace picked up automatically at the thought. "Come on," she told Tara tersely. "We need to hurry."
Tara obligingly began to jog alongside her. She was panting after only a couple of blocks.
If Buffy hadn't been in the grip of her Slayer senses, she would have slowed down. She didn't feel as if she had that option at the moment. Wrapping her left arm firmly around Tara, Buffy half-supported, half-dragged Tara through the downtown area and into the residential district buffering the town's center from the college. "Almost there," she encouraged Tara. "That's the complex up ahead."
She got a grim head bob in acknowledgement, and then Tara pulled away slightly to run on her own.
They pounded through the side gate to the stairs, and Buffy slowed to a walk in order to keep from leaving Tara behind. The call of her senses be damned; they'd make it to the apartment soon enough. After an eternity, the fourth floor landing came into view. Buffy sprang up the last few steps and knocked energetically on Willow's door. "Will, it's me. Open up!"
The door wrenched open a second later. Willow stood just inside the entryway – and didn't move to let Buffy in.
Buffy forgot all about the vampires. "Will…Um…" Floundering, she could only stare into Willow's bloodshot and puffy eyes.
Tara came to her rescue. "Can we come in, Willow? I have some information for Rupert." She didn't wait for an invitation before stepping across the threshold and gently pushing Willow out of the way. "Why don't you and Buffy get us some drinks while I fill him in on the latest?"
Drinks were the last thing on her mind as Buffy slipped into the apartment past a still-silent Willow. "Sure. We can do that," she muttered. "Drinks for everyone." If she was lucky, Willow wouldn't brain her with the milk jug. Not looking back to see if Willow would follow, Buffy headed for the kitchen.
"No more Cave Buffy, I take it." The soft, monotone announcement from behind Buffy indicated that Willow had, in fact, joined her in the drink hunt.
Slowly turning around and pressing her back against the countertop, Buffy nodded. "Just me, Will. Plain old, non-boozy, non-grunting, very, very sorry Buffy." She watched Willow closely as she spoke, noticing the way her freckles seemed to glow against her pale face. "I'm sorry, Willow," Buffy repeated.
Willow didn't respond. She leaned a shoulder against the doorframe and crossed her arms.
Great. Feeling tears burn her eyes, Buffy crossed her own arms and bit her lip. "I screwed up, Will." Then a stab of righteous anger wended through the regret. "You knew that, though. You knew what I was like at Hemery. I told you before, even if…" The anger drained away, and Buffy's voice dropped in volume. "Even if I didn't give you details."
Silence filled the kitchen again, and Buffy might have given up if she hadn't seen the single tear making its way down Willow's cheek.
"I apologized to Tara, Will, the second the spell wore off," Buffy rushed on. "She said…she said she forgives me." She tried a smile, feeling her lips twist into a wry grimace instead. "I'm not sure I believe her, though. What I did…It still bothers her, but she's willing to give me a chance to make it up."
"That's nice," Willow finally said. Her voice wavered and squeaked, and Buffy recognized the symptoms of a long crying jag in the tones.
The habits of a best friend had Buffy across the kitchen with her arms around Willow in seconds. "I'd never do anything like that now, Will. You know that. I'm not Princess Buffy anymore." The body in her arms was stiff, and there was not even a hint the embrace would be returned. Buffy ignored that, though, and went on. "I'm sorry if what I told you made you disappointed in me. To be honest, I'm disappointed in me. If you and Xan and the Slayer thing hadn't happened, I'd probably be competing for the Queen of Mean title." She tightened her arms around Willow. "I'm not – and that's all because of you. You, Willow."
Willow's head dropped until it rested on Buffy's shoulder.
Buffy began to smile. This was familiar. Willow had forgiven her.
The internal celebration ended abruptly only a second later. "That's not what it sounded like earlier, Buffy. You weren't thanking me for opening your eyes to how big a meanie you'd been when I saw you in your mom's kitchen."
Oh, shit. "Will…" Buffy tried to interrupt.
She was too late. Willow's soft voice continued on inexorably. "In fact, you didn't even want me around anymore. You told me you didn't like me – and you growled to make that clear. Which is it, Buffy? Am I your best friend, someone who helps you keep Princess Buffy at bay, or am I just someone you used to like?"